So I just got raped...

[ray_MAN]

So I just got raped...by a dog! I was getting a haircut, and the person has a dog. It is a cute, little shitzu named Jack. So I was playing with it while waiting for my sister to get done wit h her haircut, and I get up and all of a sudden, it hugs my leg! I said, "Neat, it knows how to hug.", but this damn dog started humping my leg! I was laughing, and he was humping violently. So, I let it have its 'fun' and it started to get horny and wet! So, I thought it was time to get this little 4 month old, just-neutered shitzu off my goddamn leg. I got it off, and I ran out of that place as fast as I could. That is my story. :|

EDIT: I must say, animals love me!

 

[Pauly]

He actually had to change his pants, he told me too!

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Are you sure it wasn't called Humphrey, the humping dog

 

[Lil' Timmy]

I got it off

.. you sure did! haha.. sorry :|

 

[Anthraxxx]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

/me points and laughs at ray_MAN and then proceeds to kill the dog and eat it...

 

[Pauly]

he should get checked for "ray_bees"

 

[Prince of China]

I actually thought ray_man got raped...
by Micheal Jackson!
Ah.
Ha.
:|
Oh, by the way, rape is really surprise sex. :cheers:

 

[Lil' Timmy]

Oh, by the way, rape is really surprise sex. :cheers:

whoa ppl, lets be careful.. i'm just saying, i'm sure some ppl on this forum know ppl who were actually raped, lets not get to jocular with the subject

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

ROFL! best post ever!!!

 

[Lucifer Crass]

I actually thought ray_man got raped...
by Micheal Jackson!
Ah.
Ha.
:|
Oh, by the way, rape is really surprise sex. :cheers:

Even tho i find this really funny, i suggest a flame suit. I would know lol :thumbs: :smoking:

 

[el Chi]

I get up and all of a sudden, it hugs my leg! I said, "Neat, it knows how to hug.",

Aw bless, how awfully naive

On the subject of being raped by dogs though:
A friend and I were standing outside a bar one night talking and the boouncer was clearly listening so I loudly proclaimed:
"Yeah, she lost her virginity to her dog." That got his attention.
My friend chimes in: "Really? That's awful? How!?"
"Well, you know when you're at home alone it's nice to have a little naked alone time, right?"
"Oh yeah of course. Oh no!"
"Yep"
"So she was alone and the dog was on heat and...?"
"Yeah. Horrible. Alsatian."
"God, that's awful."
Yes we certainly did have the bouncer's attention...

 

[Shuzer]

lol, ahahahhaa.. good thing you weren't wearing shorts

 

[ray_MAN]

Oh, by the way, rape is really surprise sex. :cheers:

I was surprised. Shuzer, this morning I refused to wear shorts. Good thing I am a born rebel.

 

[Zerimski]

whoa ppl, lets be careful.. i'm just saying, i'm sure some ppl on this forum know ppl who were actually raped, lets not get to jocular with the subject.

Too ****ing right. Keep it on the subject of horny dogs, or feel wrath.

 

[ray_MAN]

I am sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone.

 

[Pauly]

I really think ray_MAN should be checked for ray_BEES

 

[Lil' Timmy]

we heard you the first time pauly.. very clever, now stop it already!

 

[_-_-SELAS-_-_]

and the person has a dog. It is a cute,
U sure u didnt like getting raped by the dog?

So I was playing with it
Well thats just teasing!

this little 4 month old,
Pedo...?!

I got it off :|
:farmer: :dork: :x

EDIT: I must say, animals love me!
Maybe too much !

Dog pr0n is always gr8

 

[clarky003]

Humping of the leg by a Willyless dog = Rape...? funny kinda rape right there ..

and how can a neutered dog get horny...?

 

[ray_MAN]

Don't ask.

 

[clarky003]

LOL

:stare:

 

[Lil' Timmy]

Humping of the leg by a Willyless dog

neutering removes the testicles not the penis.. well, not in my country anyway

 

[nw909]

neutering removes the testicles not the penis.. well, not in my country anyway

In my country they just chop the bottom half of the dog off.

anyway, this certainly is an interesting thread.

 

[Gorgon]

I am LOL right now. You should have captured that on a video camera and sell it to the American TV show Called Funniest Animals.

Note: A survy stated that 2% of the teenages in America earn their money by Selling videos of Animals Having sex to the Above TV program.

Sell your vid to this site: http://funnytvads.net/

 

[slicktick]

wow, you thought you would let it have your fun? thats kinda wierd, at least its not like my dog, its a girl and when it was a puppy it humped everything, and i was like "what the F*** why is a girl dog humping me?!"

 

[dura]

A similar incident occured with me, but the dog was a bull mastiff.

 

[Prince of China]

I am LOL right now. You should have captured that on a video camera and sell it to the American TV show Called Funniest Animals.

Note: A survy stated that 2% of the teenages in America earn their money by Selling videos of Animals Having sex to the Above TV program.

Sell your vid to this site: http://funnytvads.net/

Naw, this should be on...
"When animals attacK" :monkee: :sniper:

 

[NSPIRE]

So, I let it have its 'fun' and i started to get horny and wet!

!!! That's how I misread it the first time, LMAO! I was like, wtf0x?

 

[LittleB]

har har har

my kitty cat Lindsay is in heat right now and she always comes to me and purrs and meows and lies on me rubs her bum on me the way horny female cats do

 

[Jackal hit]

that happened to my friend when we were in like 5th grade. the dog was ... some kind of wolfhound looking thing... really big kinda mangy... anyways, my friend was laughing so much, the dog actually was able to knock him over, and get him doggy style hahahahaha

you should get checked for ray_bees ... okay okay... heh i thought that was a great joke though

 

[Epyon]

there was this guy that raped a dog, it was on bbc or something, ill find it later, but the short story is, the guy lived in korea i think, and he was poor, so he didnt have any money for a prositute, but while walking down the street he saw a dog waging its tail and the guy thought that was sexy, so he raped it.

EDIT:::: they dont have it on the news site now

 

[Direwolf]

*Is reminded of about a thousand bash.org quotes.

 

[wowyouareacow]

this was funny but i have one problem with the "rape"

u stated that u let the hump u for a while? dude. eeew. dude?

u have now become a vibrator for dogs.

 

[LoneDeranger]

I guess you can say the dog made ray_man his bitch!

 

[mchammer75040]

LMAO wow thats hilarious
especially timmy's first post and something about ray getting horny and wet lmao. :naughty:

 

[nw909]

har har har

my kitty cat Lindsay is in heat right now and she always comes to me and purrs and meows and lies on me rubs her bum on me the way horny female cats do

omg hot.

anyhoo, why did you let the dog hump your leg?

 

[mchammer75040]

anyhoo, why did you let the dog hump your leg?

To lose virginity(ha I was the first to say it)?
My female dog does that all the time, Ill be laying on my bed and she just comes right up behind me and goes at it..even though she cant do anything...

 

[wowyouareacow]

aaaw dood. thats just nasty. nuff with the humping. damn.

we should not talk about humping dogs. Some things in life should just be left alone.

 

[Lil' Timmy]

To lose virginity(ha I was the first to say it)?

yeah.. there's a reason no one else said it hammer.. :|

 

[LoneDeranger]

Well that about describes my sex life, minus being humped by a dog.