Stuart Little is in my mother ****ing house

[Tollbooth Willie]

So I woke up this morning to find a tiny mouse devouring a bag of bread loaf on the kitchen counter. I only got a small glimpse at the little ****er before he darted off with a piece of bread.






How the shit do I capture this little pissant without harming it?

 

[<RJMC>]

use a flametrower

 

[Qonfused]

Become Hugh Laurie and adopt him.

 

[mastag]

Set glue traps, pull him off and put him outside.

 

[Shamrock]

One word.

Trinitrotoluene.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

One word.

Trinitrotoluene.

No.

 

[Raziaar]

Do what I'd do.

Move out.

He's won.

It's his house now.

 

[taviow]

Raziaar's idea is excellent, but first burn the house down, then you move out, so at least he won't get the house.

 

[mastag]

Ugh, I set rat poison in my house, and I ended up stepping on a cold dead mouse.

barefooted

 

[Godron]

Flash grenade + vacuum cleaner

 

[Eejit]

Just catch him. Big ole upturned plastic bowl usually does the trick once you get him on the run.

Make sure when you release it you do it far enough away that it won't find it's way back. Apparently 1 mile is the minimum.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Ugh, I set rat poison in my house, and I ended up stepping on a cold dead mouse.

barefooted

****ing awesome.

I'm thinking I could tie food to a stick like a fishing rod and lure him outside, but that's just silly.

 

[Saturos]

Just don't dress him up like a human and treat him with repsect and love.

 

[Qonfused]

Raziaar's idea is excellent, but first burn the house down, then you move out, so at least he won't get the house.

I would venture to guess that moving out would be the first step in your process, not arson.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Fragmentation grenade + industrial strength vacuum cleaner

Fixed. Or whatever mastag said.

 

[CyberPitz]

Shit, a mousetrap shouldn't hurt him...snap his neck instantly!

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You guys are monsters. Little shit hasn't made a move since I last saw him.

 

[Qonfused]

Kill him, Chase.

 

[taviow]

I would venture to guess that moving out would be the first step in your process, not arson.

No, he's got to destroy the house first.

To be safe.

 

[Qonfused]

Well that'd be murder-suicide then.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Kill him, Chase.

Hey Travis: Do it yourself. Come do it for me.

 

[Qonfused]

It's done.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Found the little ****** eating my cookies just now. Crumbs everywhere, all up the ****ing wall.

 

[Qonfused]

Whoops, must've missed him.

I'll stop now.

 

[taviow]

You better do.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

I know there's traps where they go inside, pull a piece of food causing the door to close, then you can let him loose outside.

 

[Iron Kat]

Keep him and call him your 'little brother'!!!!!!

 

[Dog--]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CSygpeLjSYo

The oldest trick in the book..


..and it still works.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

and put it all on a mat you can move outside.

 

[Qonfused]

He turns around like, "WTF DID YOU DO CAMERA!?!"

 

[FYTJ]

I have mice and one day I "lost" one. I put cheese and breadcrumbs on a plate and once it was there eating them I just took it and put it back in its cage. Easy.

 

[Acepilotf14]

eat it with your penis

 

[Raziaar]

lol... You had a relatively domesticated mouse.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

So this little nigga seems to be getting brave. He's been scampering around my room attempting to get a Hot Pocket I forgot about and left on the nightstand. This little shit can climb. I decided to break a chunk off and leave it somewhere he can reach without going through the trouble of climbing.

To be honest, I don't really mind him that much anymore.

 

[Acepilotf14]

srs, eat it with your PENIS
DO IT, WILLEH

 

[Dog--]

Wait until mouse turds arise into your bed.

They are NOT raisins.

 

[Raziaar]

They do cure diseases though.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Wait until mouse turds arise into your bed.

They are NOT raisins.

Good, because raisins are pure shit.

 

[Dog--]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO SHARES MY VIEWS ON THE SHITTINESS OF RAISINS. THEY ARE TERRIBLE, RIGHT?


dacapslocage

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Very terrible. So, change of plans. Do I get a cage, or do I let the little ****er roam free around the house?