The 10 Best "To Catch a Predator" Moments

joule · Aug 14, 2008

Why don't you have a seat? Because right now, it is our sincere pleasure to slowly and suspiciously walk you through the 10 Best and Funniest To Catch a Predator clips that exist on the internet today. We know what you're thinking: "here's nothing funny about child predators." Not true. In fact, there's plenty to laugh about while watching the following bumbling and likely inbred fellas being lured into the pants of various 13-year-old boys and girls, only to be confronted by Best Week Ever's Sexiest Newsman of 2008 Chris Hansen. #1 still has us laughing. (Language NSFW!)

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#3 and #5 are best.

Dog-- · Aug 14, 2008

lol at the cat lover.

The guy goes around looking for her, then the dude walk out the door "What r u doin!?"

TechnoHippyChic · Aug 15, 2008

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155627

nsfw, naughty language

Rizzo · Aug 15, 2008

Next scandal will turn out to be Chris Hansen having sexchat with a 13-year old boy.

PimpinPenguin · Aug 15, 2008

Lol at the camouflaged cop on #9, was that really necessary?

OmegaX · Aug 15, 2008

Dog-- · Aug 15, 2008

PimpinPenguin said:
Lol at the camouflaged cop on #9, was that really necessary?

He wanted to play battlefield sniper.

hool10 · Aug 16, 2008

You know, sometimes I envy on how the Chinese govenment handles their criminals. I just payed over $400 in taxes this week to pay for people in prison. Even if they murder and are in death row, you still have to feed them, give them tv to watch, etc for years until they are executed. I say we do what the Chinese do and shoot them. A bullet is only a few cents and is very quick. Our punishment must have all this legal crap, pleading insanity, money to get out, and pumping the offender full of drugs to kill the loser. Seriously, don't put the person year's on death row using part of my paycheck every week because I earned it and worked hard for it. It's my money and I deserve it, not them.

Cap the guy in the head because these people are so much better off this world than supporting them to live. Free room and board and even your last request like a meal. Did their victims ever have that? No they did not. Did their victims have a nice way to die? Of course not.

DEATHMASTER · Aug 16, 2008

Then again there are people who are unfairly imprisoned.

PvtRyan · Aug 16, 2008

hool10 said:
You know, sometimes I envy on how the Chinese govenment handles their criminals. I just payed over $400 in taxes this week to pay for people in prison. Even if they murder and are in death row, you still have to feed them, give them tv to watch, etc for years until they are executed. I say we do what the Chinese do and shoot them. A bullet is only a few cents and is very quick. Our punishment must have all this legal crap, pleading insanity, money to get out, and pumping the offender full of drugs to kill the loser. Seriously, don't put the person year's on death row using part of my paycheck every week because I earned it and worked hard for it. It's my money and I deserve it, not them.

Cap the guy in the head because these people are so much better off this world than supporting them to live. Free room and board and even your last request like a meal. Did their victims ever have that? No they did not. Did their victims have a nice way to die? Of course not.

Nice impression of a Daily Mail reader, did you work long on it?

As you're obviously an expert at doing these impressions, can you help me out with my act? I wrote this but it's lacking:

"I was on my way to my job in construction when I saw this foreigner who was wearing some kind of robe or some shit. Why wasn't this sandnegro wearing any pants? What's wrong with pants? I worked hard for my pants and I bet he didn't even work for his robe. He must've used MY tax money to pay for it, that the liberal pussy government gave him. They're ruining this country! I'm not racist but I think we should nuke the Middle East. Why was he wearing that robe? Why does he refuse to wear jeans? Why is he forcing us to submit to his culture? Why does he want me to wear a robe? It's the liberals that keep giving in to the foreigners. If he likes it so much there, why doesn't he go live there?"

But I can't help but feel it's missing something. I'm not sure what, perhaps it's not dim-witted enough? Do I have enough nonsensical conclusions and arguments?

I haven't used any terrible spelling or HUGE CAPS EVERYWHERE but I see you haven't either and your impression seems spot-on so that can't be it. Do I have too little references to the tax money I pay? Should I combine the tax money bit with a rant about criminals? Or should I replace the nuke bit with "put all criminals in the Middle East and nuke it"?

I hope you can help me with this,

PvtRyan

Asknoone · Aug 16, 2008

I want your babies Pervert Ryan.

DEATHMASTER · Aug 16, 2008

Samon said:
I want your babies

/purepwnage

hool10 · Aug 16, 2008

How does that relate to anything I said Ryan? When you get a good paycheck, you will be pissed off. These people don't care once they get out and in fact, some were going to prison just 4 days before they got caught again. They can't adapt to normal life from not working for so long, especially after being in prison for rape or a repeating pedo. So the only thing left to do is commit another crime on purpose just to go back to jail. These people are a leech to society and just should not be corrected.

Correction costs money such as paying for their psychiatrists, paying for the gym so they can get all beefy making it easier to kill guards/inmates, also paying for a lawyer for their sorry ass.

I don't like welfare at all neither. They complain so much they don't have the money and what-not. How about you stop complaining about how bad your life is and do something about it? I got a bunch of people who I work with from Cambodia. They know they got it good being here and do quality work. They are like family to me and we all work hard.

We are promoting to mankind and making a better world to live in. What is the person in prison doing to make a world a better place? By committing crimes then doing it again right after prison? What is the person on welfare doing? By complaining that they are in welfare in the first place. Oh hell I could complain that I have a 58 hour work week usually starting at 5AM in the morning. But we all shut up and do are job fast and efficiently every day.

When God gives you lemon's, make lemonade is my motto.

joule · Aug 16, 2008

hool10 said:
When God gives you lemon's, make lemonade is my motto.

The "lemon's"? The lemon's what?

Wanted Bob · Aug 16, 2008

Oh wow, that was hilarious

And hool, I don't care what they have done, you can't just shoot someone then and there. They have all this legal stuff to protect the persons right as a human being.

Krynn72 · Aug 17, 2008

This thread started off having me laugh at busted child molesters, and ended with me laughing at hool. People are not perfect, and people can change and get better, thats why we have these government institutions like correctional facilities and welfare. You think that everyone who uses, or is involved in any of these institutions is just taking advantage of it? There may be some people who do, but what about the good people who have some life changing catastrophe and end up relying on welfare, or who make a mistake that lands them in jail? I would happily pay for a hundred freeloaders if it meant one good person could get his life back in order with these facilities.

Adrik_Senturu · Aug 17, 2008

Probably because Chris Hansen is actually a spectre of sorts.

hool10 · Aug 17, 2008

joule said:
The "lemon's"? The lemon's what?

Why eat a lemon if that's all you got? They are sour obviously so just make lemonade out of them. Called bailing yourself out of a tough situation.

Wanted Bob said:
Oh wow, that was hilarious

And hool, I don't care what they have done, you can't just shoot someone then and there. They have all this legal stuff to protect the persons right as a human being.

Yes, protect the "human being" that violently raped somebody, forever messing the person up for the rest of their life that could lead to suicide or become rapists themselves.

Krynn72 said:
This thread started off having me laugh at busted child molesters, and ended with me laughing at hool. People are not perfect, and people can change and get better, thats why we have these government institutions like correctional facilities and welfare. You think that everyone who uses, or is involved in any of these institutions is just taking advantage of it? There may be some people who do, but what about the good people who have some life changing catastrophe and end up relying on welfare, or who make a mistake that lands them in jail? I would happily pay for a hundred freeloaders if it meant one good person could get his life back in order with these facilities.

Well these people obviously don't care if they repeat the offense and just keep going with a slap on the wrist. Prison and the homeless including war veterans have a classic history. When they get off duty and become a civilian, there is no order for their lives. They often times have trouble getting back to a normal civilian life. For example in WWI and WWII soldiers were just sent back to the states and that was it. These people had horrible memories of the war and they couldn't function normally. So they became homeless and just did crap to get in prison. Until now though we got psychologists and whatnot. These pedo's though will not stop.

You can always put an alcoholic through a detox program, but they will always want a beer. Sometimes they relapse and it gets ugly. But I mean these people will always be a pedophile, no matter what happens. Most of them are repeat offenders as well and if they are not, then it probably hasn't been reported out of the kids shame. Even then the guy probably has loads of pedo porn on his computer. It's a sad fact but true and people who leave jail usually just come back. Unfortunately we have "correctional facilities" and they are now overflowing. Guess they arn't correcting enough prisoners. Here is one article for example: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article526276.ece

It's getting very crowded in prisons. We should either:

Abandon New York, fortify it with the latest homeboy security, and put prisoners there and make a reality tv show. The winner will receive $50,000 and be pardoned. If successful, a Summer action movie will be made and called "Escape From New York". The main star for the film will be a Metal Gear Solid looking Kurt Russel playing "Snake Pliskin".
Offer pay-per-view for twisted individuals into snuff films (though I'd rather those people kill themselves too).
Simply execute the guy with a gun.

You don't see many prisoners or people in death row in Muslim countries of China now do we? That's because if you steal something in a Muslim country, they cut your hands off which definitely prevents future crimes and puts future offenders in check. In China they just don't screw around. Yeah they are pretty screwed up with the political prisoners but other that that, I like the "get to the point" attitude.

Ask any prisoner or prison guard about some of the more serious prisoners. They are scared shitless of them and they just might go back out into the world again!?!? Would you want a level 3 pedo teaching your 7 yr old boy Biology? How about a person who attempted/accessory to murder (which I consider as good as murder without a dead person), but failed (oops), then got out of prison to be a waiter? How about a convicted rapist as your neighbor? Of course not and that is why when they exposed, they get fired and they can't find a job after that and go looking for a way to go back to prison.

15357 · Aug 17, 2008

I agree with hool. THERE I SAID IT.

Criminals thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding.

*slowly backs away*

15357 · Aug 17, 2008

By the way, did you know that about half (iirc) of all violent criminals incarcerated cannot be resocialized or reformed, and also that they will commit crimes over and over again?

It's called Psychopathy, or Sociopathy. No cure/treatment for it currently, and there are tons of documented cases.

In practice, mental health professional rarely treat psychopathic personality disorders as they are considered untreatable and no interventions have proved to be effective.[15] In England and Wales the diagnosis of dissocial personality disorder is grounds for detention in secure psychiatric hospitals under the Mental Health Act if they have committed serious crimes, but since such individuals are disruptive for other patients and not responsive to treatment this alternative to prison is not often used.[16]

Hare describes people he calls psychopaths as "intraspecies predators[27][28] who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, sex and violence[29][30][31] to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Lacking in conscience and empathy, they take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without guilt or remorse".[18] "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony."[32]

I forget the book I read, iirc it might have been "The Mask of Sanity".

Or was it "Psychopath: blahblahblah"...

15357 · Aug 17, 2008

I never said that. However, its quite a waste of time.

15357 · Aug 17, 2008

Well, I tend to skim angry righteous rants.

15357 · Aug 17, 2008

Abandon New York, fortify it with the latest homeboy security, and put prisoners there and make a reality tv show. The winner will receive $50,000 and be pardoned. If successful, a Summer action movie will be made and called "Escape From New York". The main star for the film will be a Metal Gear Solid looking Kurt Russel playing "Snake Pliskin".

Well, when I saw this I just thought everything would be lovely.

hool10 · Aug 17, 2008

Chan, go ask a prison guard or cop how they feel or even people with brothers/sisters who did these crimes, even friends, people you know. I knew 2 people from middle school for example and I knew they were screwed up. One I know is a dishwasher by day, UFC fighter by night. Another is a complete loser and all I know is that he looks like Dracula from doing so much cocaine. China usually does not have a death penalty for petty crimes. I'm talking about major crimes. When you get year(s) in prison, I mean let's face it, you ****ed up somewhere. Just landing in prison you had to **** up somewhere. When a pedophile moves into your neighborhood, your town committee has to decide if it's safe or not. They also must alert the people in that area of the sicko that's moving next door to them. Guess what happens when the happy family knows about this? They probably want to move away. Yet it's hard to sell your house now because you must list that any buyers must live next to the creep. Also your property value goes down. So you can't sell your house and you are stuck living next to this guy and afraid daily to keep your kids away from this guy.

Another classic example is the pee drinker guy: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/07/01/landers.ohio.urine.collector.wbns There is no *technical* way they can punish him so they keep arresting him. They say there is 3 sex offenders in my area. Yet I know there are many kids in my neighborhood. Don't defend these people because they know what they did was terribly wrong and they keep doing it. Here is a tv show on maximum security prisons where they literally have to put a muzzle on the guy to prevent him from killing a guard with his mouth: http://www.dailymotion.com/related/4225075/video/x2ik7j_lockdown-inside-maximum-security-2_business

As for welfare, it started in England and was enacted with the "English Poor Law of 1601". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poor_Law Now back then they did things right. Kids were put as apprentices for trades and adults were put to work on crappy jobs, yet it was work. Conditions were also intentionally bad so it promoted the person to you know, get out of welfare. Now we got that stereotype of some Hispanic fat woman on the couch with 50 kids running all over the house. They did things right in 1601 until the psychologists came in and started calling it abuse.

Eejit · Aug 17, 2008

hool10 said:
Cap the guy in the head because these people are so much better off this world than supporting them to live. Free room and board and even your last request like a meal. Did their victims ever have that? No they did not. Did their victims have a nice way to die? Of course not.

Because the justice system is infallible. There's never been a wrongful guilty verdict for any murder, rape, burglary etc. EVER.
So it's safe to just shoot anyone.

Some people don't seem to realise that Judge Dredd was a critique of facist justice.

PvtRyan · Aug 17, 2008

toaster-chan said:
RIGHTANYWAY.
I think that I am the only person who really, really hates this show. It makes me nervous and I'm not sure why. I hate internet paedos as much as (probably a lot more than) the average person, but something about this show really doesn't sit right with me.

I haven't watched all the videos, but when it comes to video #1, I think I agree.

Pedophilia is bad because the pedophile in his dominant position and role of authority (purely by being an adult) can force a kid to sex that it doesn't want. But as in the case of video number #1 (and I presume others) when a girl actively invites, even begs, you to come to her house without you forcing her to put your penis up her pooper, then she's not the one that needs protection. Then she's just a "13" year old skank who wants to get laid by a creepy old man. What? It's naive to think that 13 year olds play with dolls and are completely asexual. And if this had been a 40 year old MILF hitting on a 13 year old boy, even Chris Hansen would've gone "Niiiiiiiiicceeee" :naughty:.

However, if a man comes into a chatroom where girls come to talk about ponies and he invites them to come over for sex then I would have no problem with what they do on this show. But then, I don't know exactly what happened, it could very well be that the man in the #1 video was actively looking for sex with minors which would make it justified. Although to make it into such a sensationalist show could give off the wrong signal: that it's strangers that are the dangerous perverts, while it's really always relatives that are the rapists.

Yay for whiteknighting pedophiles.

The Monkey · Aug 17, 2008

Youtube lags like hell for me.

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