Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2005
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Recently our very own Azner and I have been working on a sort of HL2.net based fiction set in the world of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. The basic premise: Four HL2.netters wind up in The Zone, inhabited by radiation, anomalies, mtants, criminals and-worst of all-HL2.netters. They soon discover something bigger as they make their escape with many familiar faces from the forum.
Basically, we wanted to share this continuing story. It's something we did for fun. Sort of an action comedy. We are going to try and figure out how to introduce more people later into the story. Couldn't be arsed to edit everything so both of our entries match up their format right so meh.
Part 1
Basically, we wanted to share this continuing story. It's something we did for fun. Sort of an action comedy. We are going to try and figure out how to introduce more people later into the story. Couldn't be arsed to edit everything so both of our entries match up their format right so meh.
Part 1
"LOCK AND LOAD MOTHER F*CKERRRR" Screamed STALKER Willie as he cocked his AK-74 and emptied the whole clip into the celling only to reload it once again. "Shut up and go already." Stigmata grunted while the two walked out of the bunker on top of a hill. It was their frist time being in the zone and the two needed a guide. Stigmata took out his binoculars and scanned the area. "Hey Willie, look over there.", "What, what, what, oh there!" It was a bearded man tied to a pole. "Lets go see whether he can help us." Stigmata said as he walked down the hill the two were on quickly. As the two got closer they noticed that the bearded man was on elevated ground. Below him were trenches. "Weird how did i not see that?" thought Stigmata silently as the two moved in close. "Hey Willie, wait abit. I think there's something wrong." , "You mean the trenches? Those are perfectly normal, my grandma used to make trenches for breakfast delicious s..." Before willie could finish his sentence, a bullet whizzed pass his head. "Get down Willie, we're being hit." Screamed Stigmata as he got behind a rock.
"Only a cockamajit could'nt see that Stig, how do we take them out from the trenches?" Willie said as he got behind a tree. Stigmata thought hard. Willie was firing at the trenches in bursts hoping to get a lucky shot. "Use your grenades, lob them in, and give me covering fire, I'll jump down and try to take out as many as possible!" Stigmata said as he got into a running stance behind the rock.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? BECAUSE I AM!" Willie laughed and threw a grenade nicely into the trench, for a moment enemy fire ceased as they tried to get clear from the grenade. Seizing the opputurnity, Stigmata estimated where the enemy would be running and jumped into the trench. Stigmata landed just behind the enemy, facing their backs and opened fire. Wincing, all he saw were blood and bullets. With one end of the trench cleared, Willie got in too. The two cleared the trench base, they were no ordinary men with guns, they were part of an organisation, the Deathsquad.
Having cleared the base, the two got up to the elevated ground the bearded man was on, he seemed happy. "Hey Stig, over there!" Willie pointed as an enemy STALKER ran. Suddenly the ground where the enemy STALKER was shaked and the air churned and sucked him up only to drop him. "Willie, you go see what happened to that guy, i'll be with you as soon as I untie this fella.
"Fella? My name is Koola, Koola Mena, native to the zone, comrade" the man spoke witha a heavy Ukrainian accent. "These people who used me as a slave were about to execute me after i had assualted their officer, I am in debt to you and the other one" Koola said. Stigmata smiled. "Well, I guess we've found our guide" Stigmata said while breaking Koola of his bonds. Willie coughed as he made his way quickly to the enemy STALKER, something about the STALKER made him look familiar. Willie turned the body of the STALKER over and removed his gasmask. "Gasmasks dont help you much my friend." Willie mentioned. The STALKER looked asian but he had a large scar on his left cheek, stretching from his ear to his eye. "You don't look so good." Willie said. The STALKER looked familliar but Willie dismissed the feeling. He checked for pulse, there was a pulse. Breathing, still was there. You're going to live you bugger, i bet we could use you. Suddenly the STALKER's eyes opened and the lunged at Willie with a balisong he had taken out silently in his right sleeve.
"Aack!" The STALKER choked. He had hurt himself pretty badly. The knife barely got to Willie. The STALKER looked at Willie. "Wait a minute, you're Willie." Willie stared at him, "And who the hell might you be." , "Just an old friend, its been only a few months Willie, its me, Azner." , "AZNER, THATS WHY YOU LOOKED SO FAMILLIAR, OH GOSH, SINCE THE FLIGHT, THE ARMY, YOURE ALIVE OH LAWDY!" Wilie screamed.
By then Stigmata had already let Koola lose and the two came down upon hearing Willie shouting. "STIG, STIG, ITS AZNER HAHA HE'S ALIVE!" Willie shouted in Stigmata's face. "Oh gosh, Azner, what happened?" , "Well, after the red army posted us to the zone, my squad lost contact and we had to survive, basically the squad you just cleared over there." , "Oh, my bad." Sitgmata said calmly... "BUT YOU GUYS WERE ABOUT TO KILL THIS INNOCENT MAN!" Stigmata shouted at Azner. "I DID'NT DECIDE ON THAT NOW DID I.. OW OW OW!" Azner winced, he was aching sore from his fall. "Well, nice to see you again anyway, lets get you some first aid.
Azner looked up at the three. "Any luck finding first aid?" , "Nope." Stigmata sighed. "First aid, you should have said so earlier." Koola mentioned. "Um we did." Tim replied, somewhat frustrated. Koola took off his shorts and gave them a hard shake and out fell a first aid hit. The other three stared at him. "What? Usually my stuff is deep inside it." Koola said as he put his pants back on. Willie helped apply the first aid on Azner. Koola looked across the horizon and sniffed the air. "You guys better hurry up, somethings going to happen."
With the Chinese medical ointment that was in the kit rubbed on Azner's sores, he stood up feeling alot better. "You're right, lets go, we don't have enough people to stop whats coming." Azner agreed. Stigmata and Willie didn't bother to ask about what was coming and just followed Koola. "There is a village somewhere around here, before i was taken i noticed that a squad from the Red Army had nested there. They might be able to help." Koola mentioned. "Well, what are we waiting, for LETS GO!" The rest shouted unision.
Upon reaching the village, the gourp of four noticed that something was amiss. There was a courtyard. In the courtyard the red flag stood. Motionless. Among the flag there was a truck. "We could use that right?" Azner asked. "Yes, but what happened to the group posted here?" Stigmata ask. "Dead, all of them!" Koola said in a monotone voice. Suddenly thumping and knocking was heard from the house next to them. "Do we investigate or what?" Willie asked. "Lets go in, that sounded human enough.
As the four made their was up the stairs to the sound they got scared. Everyone was thinking of what it could be. When they reached the second floor, it was obvious that the sound was coming from a room. The one in front of them. "I'll bust it open, you guys make sure i don't die." Willie said. "YEEARRGH!" Willie shouted as he kicked down the door. In the room were four red soldiers, one of which was a female. "Wait a minute, ALEX? GUYS ITS GORDONFREEMAN911!." Willie shouted. "Shhhhh! They'll hear us." Hissed Alex. "Who will?" Asked Azner and Koola in unision. "Guys i think there's somethin... ARRRGH!" One of the soldiers screamed as he was pulled through the roof. A sound of splatter was heard and everyone opened fire on the roof. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?" Stigmata shouted. "THEY'RE BLOODSUCKERS, WE'VE GOT TO RUN!" the other soldier that was alive replied.
"WE CAN USE THE TRUCK!" Azner suggested, reloading and wasting another clip into the roof. Everyone ran down the stairs and got into the truck. "DAMN IT, I FORGOT, WE DONT HAVE A DAMN KEY, IT WENT WITH OUT OFFICER!" Alex screamed and banged his head on the horn. "I can hot wire a car. Let me do it." Koola said. "Well, HURRY UP, THERE'S SOMETHING HERE AND ITS GOING TO KILL US!" Stigmata shouted. The truck revved up just ask something pinned Willie down. "OH DAMN IT SHIT DICKS!" Willie screamed as he and those around blasted the area where whatever that was pinning him down would be. A scream of pain came from the bloodsucker which now revealed itself, it was wounded. Willie gave a kick and it fell off the truck which just started to move. "WE'RE ALIVE!" Willie screamed and hugged the female soldier as the truck moved out of the village. "Oh, and cut the GordonFreeman911 crap. Just call me Alex"
"We made it out of there alive..Holy shit." Stigmata lay out of breath in the truck bed. "No thanks to you assholes. We were doing just fine until you jackass came knock knock knocking on Heaven's door. Then Hell just let itself in." Alex remarked. Just as Alex had finished WIllie began yelling incoherently. "YEUUUUUGH YOU SHUT YOUR FACE MY ASS IS BLEEDING OH GOD." "Oh would you guys shut up? We should be glad to be alive, come on now." The female member attempted to reason with them. Alex barked back "Whatever you Irish slut. God you're like my mom. Hey wait, who in the hell are you anyway?" "My name's Gemma you prick, and call me a slut ONE MORE TIME and your head is going up a Flesh's ass." She responded angrily. Koola yelled back at the group. "Hey could you buggas keep it down? Givin' me a headache. Hey wait, I think I see the settlement ahead. Looks like we're home free kids!" Wearily the band of misfits enter the settlement on foot. "Welcome to Camp Gibraltar. Try not to get yourselves killed, Remi is getting tired of cleaning the bar counter." The guards seemed friendly.
Alex pointed toward what appeared to be a log cabin ahead. A sign hung from the roof with words in Ukrainian writing. "New Haven" Said Koola. As they entered the doors a a thick cloud of smoke vented out. Stalkers of various backgrounds and affiliations fill the old cabin style bar. In the corner was a well dressed man in a fine suit and environmental protection wear.
"Hey this guy here. Looks like he might know something" said Dave. "Let's ask him if he knows how to get out of here." Azner approached the man and addressed him politely. "Hello sir, we're new around these parts and require some information. Would a trade be proper?" The man looked Azner up and down. "What could a drag such as YOU possibly have of value to trade for what I may know?" He spoke with a calm Scottish accent. Willie grew irritated.
"Now look here Frenchie, you better tell us what we want to know or I'll shove this fanny pack up your ass sideways YEARGHSJHG". Alex stepped in. "Sorry about my friend here, he's a bit off. He only meant part of that." The man simply scoffed. "Hmph, control your underlings." Alex lashed at him. "Underlings? UNDERLINGS? LOOK HERE FRENCHIE-" Azner cut him off. "Look sir, we just want to know how to get out of the Zone. We just need to get home."
With a look of amusement the man let on. "Escape? Now why would you want to do that when there's riches to be had?" Alex's eyes lit up. "Riches? Whaddaya mean by that?" The man continued. "The Zone contains many riches and artifacts just waiting to be exploited! Why, people on the outside would pay top dollar for the fields of wonders this desolate shite hole has managed to so delicately craft."
"Just imagine, cures for the deadliest dieseases, new advances in science, and mounds of money. In fact, there's one stash in particular located somewhere beyoond the Fire Fields and east of the Fertile that could prove to be of-and I quote-"astronomical value"." Willie lifted a brow and stepped in "Woah woah woah, now hold on one damn minute brosef. You're saying rather than scurry our peachy asses out of this dickhole we could get rich doing it?"
"Precisely." "Well slap me in the face where do we find this baby?" Willie's excitement became uncontrollable. "Well now why would I want to go off and tell YOU the location? Besides it's only a rumor, for the moment at least. Soon enough I will be the richest man alive and will have no more reason to stay in such a filthy place." Stigmata turned to Azner. "Guy's given us more than we could have asked for. Maybe we should extend an offer to him? We could get a real benefit out of this!" Azner thought for a second. "Let's strike a deal."
"A deal you say?"
"Alright good man, what do you have in mind?" Azner continued. "Your safety for a cut of the riches. We offer your our protection, we all come out with a cut of the stash." Koola jumped in. "Careful bugga, can't trust everyone we meet out here. It's dog eat dog." "Well think about it, we get rich or die trying!" Said Alex. The man pondered a moment and made his decision.
"I must say, you drive a hard bargain. It seems I have no better choice other than to accept. Oh dear where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself: I am Sam Powley, explorer and professional treasure hunter extrodinaire. Maybe you've heard of me and my exploits? No? Ah, it matters not." Azner extnded his hand. "The name's Azner. These are my boys and er...girl?" "Eugh..." The female member moaned. "Well then, now that introductions are out of the way, why don't we head outside to discuss business further?" The man said.
"Gather your troup and meet me by my tent." "You sure we can trust him? Seems kinda shady." Said Gemma. "Well...We've got him in quite a position. I don't think we'll have to worry. Let's get the boys and head out. Hey guy's we're leaving come o-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
In the back with an acoustic guitar, a microphone and heads full of vodka stood Alex, Stigmata, Koola and Willie, singing their drunken songs. "I I JUST WANNA HEY HEY BUDDY YOU THERE. **** YOU. LISTEN TO MY SONG. LISTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEN. EUGH YOU'RE BEING A DICK LISTEN." Willie babbled on. "YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY CUTE RIGHT NOW SOLDIER. GIMME A SMOOCH." Dave said drunkenly.
"Ah god...this is going to be fun..." Azner held his forehead in his palm, shaking his head.
"Only a cockamajit could'nt see that Stig, how do we take them out from the trenches?" Willie said as he got behind a tree. Stigmata thought hard. Willie was firing at the trenches in bursts hoping to get a lucky shot. "Use your grenades, lob them in, and give me covering fire, I'll jump down and try to take out as many as possible!" Stigmata said as he got into a running stance behind the rock.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? BECAUSE I AM!" Willie laughed and threw a grenade nicely into the trench, for a moment enemy fire ceased as they tried to get clear from the grenade. Seizing the opputurnity, Stigmata estimated where the enemy would be running and jumped into the trench. Stigmata landed just behind the enemy, facing their backs and opened fire. Wincing, all he saw were blood and bullets. With one end of the trench cleared, Willie got in too. The two cleared the trench base, they were no ordinary men with guns, they were part of an organisation, the Deathsquad.
Having cleared the base, the two got up to the elevated ground the bearded man was on, he seemed happy. "Hey Stig, over there!" Willie pointed as an enemy STALKER ran. Suddenly the ground where the enemy STALKER was shaked and the air churned and sucked him up only to drop him. "Willie, you go see what happened to that guy, i'll be with you as soon as I untie this fella.
"Fella? My name is Koola, Koola Mena, native to the zone, comrade" the man spoke witha a heavy Ukrainian accent. "These people who used me as a slave were about to execute me after i had assualted their officer, I am in debt to you and the other one" Koola said. Stigmata smiled. "Well, I guess we've found our guide" Stigmata said while breaking Koola of his bonds. Willie coughed as he made his way quickly to the enemy STALKER, something about the STALKER made him look familiar. Willie turned the body of the STALKER over and removed his gasmask. "Gasmasks dont help you much my friend." Willie mentioned. The STALKER looked asian but he had a large scar on his left cheek, stretching from his ear to his eye. "You don't look so good." Willie said. The STALKER looked familliar but Willie dismissed the feeling. He checked for pulse, there was a pulse. Breathing, still was there. You're going to live you bugger, i bet we could use you. Suddenly the STALKER's eyes opened and the lunged at Willie with a balisong he had taken out silently in his right sleeve.
"Aack!" The STALKER choked. He had hurt himself pretty badly. The knife barely got to Willie. The STALKER looked at Willie. "Wait a minute, you're Willie." Willie stared at him, "And who the hell might you be." , "Just an old friend, its been only a few months Willie, its me, Azner." , "AZNER, THATS WHY YOU LOOKED SO FAMILLIAR, OH GOSH, SINCE THE FLIGHT, THE ARMY, YOURE ALIVE OH LAWDY!" Wilie screamed.
By then Stigmata had already let Koola lose and the two came down upon hearing Willie shouting. "STIG, STIG, ITS AZNER HAHA HE'S ALIVE!" Willie shouted in Stigmata's face. "Oh gosh, Azner, what happened?" , "Well, after the red army posted us to the zone, my squad lost contact and we had to survive, basically the squad you just cleared over there." , "Oh, my bad." Sitgmata said calmly... "BUT YOU GUYS WERE ABOUT TO KILL THIS INNOCENT MAN!" Stigmata shouted at Azner. "I DID'NT DECIDE ON THAT NOW DID I.. OW OW OW!" Azner winced, he was aching sore from his fall. "Well, nice to see you again anyway, lets get you some first aid.
Azner looked up at the three. "Any luck finding first aid?" , "Nope." Stigmata sighed. "First aid, you should have said so earlier." Koola mentioned. "Um we did." Tim replied, somewhat frustrated. Koola took off his shorts and gave them a hard shake and out fell a first aid hit. The other three stared at him. "What? Usually my stuff is deep inside it." Koola said as he put his pants back on. Willie helped apply the first aid on Azner. Koola looked across the horizon and sniffed the air. "You guys better hurry up, somethings going to happen."
With the Chinese medical ointment that was in the kit rubbed on Azner's sores, he stood up feeling alot better. "You're right, lets go, we don't have enough people to stop whats coming." Azner agreed. Stigmata and Willie didn't bother to ask about what was coming and just followed Koola. "There is a village somewhere around here, before i was taken i noticed that a squad from the Red Army had nested there. They might be able to help." Koola mentioned. "Well, what are we waiting, for LETS GO!" The rest shouted unision.
Upon reaching the village, the gourp of four noticed that something was amiss. There was a courtyard. In the courtyard the red flag stood. Motionless. Among the flag there was a truck. "We could use that right?" Azner asked. "Yes, but what happened to the group posted here?" Stigmata ask. "Dead, all of them!" Koola said in a monotone voice. Suddenly thumping and knocking was heard from the house next to them. "Do we investigate or what?" Willie asked. "Lets go in, that sounded human enough.
As the four made their was up the stairs to the sound they got scared. Everyone was thinking of what it could be. When they reached the second floor, it was obvious that the sound was coming from a room. The one in front of them. "I'll bust it open, you guys make sure i don't die." Willie said. "YEEARRGH!" Willie shouted as he kicked down the door. In the room were four red soldiers, one of which was a female. "Wait a minute, ALEX? GUYS ITS GORDONFREEMAN911!." Willie shouted. "Shhhhh! They'll hear us." Hissed Alex. "Who will?" Asked Azner and Koola in unision. "Guys i think there's somethin... ARRRGH!" One of the soldiers screamed as he was pulled through the roof. A sound of splatter was heard and everyone opened fire on the roof. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?" Stigmata shouted. "THEY'RE BLOODSUCKERS, WE'VE GOT TO RUN!" the other soldier that was alive replied.
"WE CAN USE THE TRUCK!" Azner suggested, reloading and wasting another clip into the roof. Everyone ran down the stairs and got into the truck. "DAMN IT, I FORGOT, WE DONT HAVE A DAMN KEY, IT WENT WITH OUT OFFICER!" Alex screamed and banged his head on the horn. "I can hot wire a car. Let me do it." Koola said. "Well, HURRY UP, THERE'S SOMETHING HERE AND ITS GOING TO KILL US!" Stigmata shouted. The truck revved up just ask something pinned Willie down. "OH DAMN IT SHIT DICKS!" Willie screamed as he and those around blasted the area where whatever that was pinning him down would be. A scream of pain came from the bloodsucker which now revealed itself, it was wounded. Willie gave a kick and it fell off the truck which just started to move. "WE'RE ALIVE!" Willie screamed and hugged the female soldier as the truck moved out of the village. "Oh, and cut the GordonFreeman911 crap. Just call me Alex"
"We made it out of there alive..Holy shit." Stigmata lay out of breath in the truck bed. "No thanks to you assholes. We were doing just fine until you jackass came knock knock knocking on Heaven's door. Then Hell just let itself in." Alex remarked. Just as Alex had finished WIllie began yelling incoherently. "YEUUUUUGH YOU SHUT YOUR FACE MY ASS IS BLEEDING OH GOD." "Oh would you guys shut up? We should be glad to be alive, come on now." The female member attempted to reason with them. Alex barked back "Whatever you Irish slut. God you're like my mom. Hey wait, who in the hell are you anyway?" "My name's Gemma you prick, and call me a slut ONE MORE TIME and your head is going up a Flesh's ass." She responded angrily. Koola yelled back at the group. "Hey could you buggas keep it down? Givin' me a headache. Hey wait, I think I see the settlement ahead. Looks like we're home free kids!" Wearily the band of misfits enter the settlement on foot. "Welcome to Camp Gibraltar. Try not to get yourselves killed, Remi is getting tired of cleaning the bar counter." The guards seemed friendly.
Alex pointed toward what appeared to be a log cabin ahead. A sign hung from the roof with words in Ukrainian writing. "New Haven" Said Koola. As they entered the doors a a thick cloud of smoke vented out. Stalkers of various backgrounds and affiliations fill the old cabin style bar. In the corner was a well dressed man in a fine suit and environmental protection wear.
"Hey this guy here. Looks like he might know something" said Dave. "Let's ask him if he knows how to get out of here." Azner approached the man and addressed him politely. "Hello sir, we're new around these parts and require some information. Would a trade be proper?" The man looked Azner up and down. "What could a drag such as YOU possibly have of value to trade for what I may know?" He spoke with a calm Scottish accent. Willie grew irritated.
"Now look here Frenchie, you better tell us what we want to know or I'll shove this fanny pack up your ass sideways YEARGHSJHG". Alex stepped in. "Sorry about my friend here, he's a bit off. He only meant part of that." The man simply scoffed. "Hmph, control your underlings." Alex lashed at him. "Underlings? UNDERLINGS? LOOK HERE FRENCHIE-" Azner cut him off. "Look sir, we just want to know how to get out of the Zone. We just need to get home."
With a look of amusement the man let on. "Escape? Now why would you want to do that when there's riches to be had?" Alex's eyes lit up. "Riches? Whaddaya mean by that?" The man continued. "The Zone contains many riches and artifacts just waiting to be exploited! Why, people on the outside would pay top dollar for the fields of wonders this desolate shite hole has managed to so delicately craft."
"Just imagine, cures for the deadliest dieseases, new advances in science, and mounds of money. In fact, there's one stash in particular located somewhere beyoond the Fire Fields and east of the Fertile that could prove to be of-and I quote-"astronomical value"." Willie lifted a brow and stepped in "Woah woah woah, now hold on one damn minute brosef. You're saying rather than scurry our peachy asses out of this dickhole we could get rich doing it?"
"Precisely." "Well slap me in the face where do we find this baby?" Willie's excitement became uncontrollable. "Well now why would I want to go off and tell YOU the location? Besides it's only a rumor, for the moment at least. Soon enough I will be the richest man alive and will have no more reason to stay in such a filthy place." Stigmata turned to Azner. "Guy's given us more than we could have asked for. Maybe we should extend an offer to him? We could get a real benefit out of this!" Azner thought for a second. "Let's strike a deal."
"A deal you say?"
"Alright good man, what do you have in mind?" Azner continued. "Your safety for a cut of the riches. We offer your our protection, we all come out with a cut of the stash." Koola jumped in. "Careful bugga, can't trust everyone we meet out here. It's dog eat dog." "Well think about it, we get rich or die trying!" Said Alex. The man pondered a moment and made his decision.
"I must say, you drive a hard bargain. It seems I have no better choice other than to accept. Oh dear where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself: I am Sam Powley, explorer and professional treasure hunter extrodinaire. Maybe you've heard of me and my exploits? No? Ah, it matters not." Azner extnded his hand. "The name's Azner. These are my boys and er...girl?" "Eugh..." The female member moaned. "Well then, now that introductions are out of the way, why don't we head outside to discuss business further?" The man said.
"Gather your troup and meet me by my tent." "You sure we can trust him? Seems kinda shady." Said Gemma. "Well...We've got him in quite a position. I don't think we'll have to worry. Let's get the boys and head out. Hey guy's we're leaving come o-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
In the back with an acoustic guitar, a microphone and heads full of vodka stood Alex, Stigmata, Koola and Willie, singing their drunken songs. "I I JUST WANNA HEY HEY BUDDY YOU THERE. **** YOU. LISTEN TO MY SONG. LISTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEN. EUGH YOU'RE BEING A DICK LISTEN." Willie babbled on. "YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY CUTE RIGHT NOW SOLDIER. GIMME A SMOOCH." Dave said drunkenly.
"Ah god...this is going to be fun..." Azner held his forehead in his palm, shaking his head.
