The good, the bad, and the most definately ugly

[CptStern]

One of the best westerns of all time to become a video game


"In a deal with MGM Interactive, Bits Studios has acquired video game rights to the three Sergio Leone movies often called "The Man With No Name" trilogy. The 1966 classic "Good, Bad," which starred Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach, was the last in the series but will be the first to get the interactive treatment."


"Although it will bear the name and the music from the popular spaghetti Western, the third-person-perspective video game will follow a new story line that is influenced by the movies and will keep the tone of the films. This design approach supports better gameplay, Katan said. The action will incorporate horseback riding, brawling and gun fighting in an open Western environment, he said."



why? why not just make a western game without (most likely) butchering part of cultural mythos? I could be wrong but usually these things are more of cash ins based on the recognition of a known brand (The Man with No Name) than quality games


more horrible horrible news:


"Additionally, Majesco is bringing "Jaws" back in the fall as a PS2 and Xbox game and is set to unleash the violence of "Taxi Driver" on next-generation consoles next year."


wtf? Jaws? ..Taxi Driver? how could they possibly create a video game out of Taxi Driver?

 

[Absinthe]

how could they possibly create a video game out of Taxi Driver?

Put simply?

They can't. They never will. Whatever comes out will be a piss-poor, half-cocked, worthless load of shit that will bare little resemblance to the movie it is based off of. The simple fact that they included the words "unleash the violence of" in reference to the film is a clear indication that they have no idea what the hell they're doing.

Same goes for Jaws. What the **** are they gonna do, huh? "MANAGE YOUR SHIP'S CREW FOR A COUPLE DAYS, GET DRUNK, AND KILL A SHARK AT THE END".

 

[The Mullinator]

Same goes for Jaws. What the **** are they gonna do, huh? "MANAGE YOUR SHIP'S CREW FOR A COUPLE DAYS, GET DRUNK, AND KILL A SHARK AT THE END".

Playing as Jaws could be at least a little fun.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

the reason things like this happen, is because consumers buy into em. I say we kill every "average" comsumer we see

 

[Absinthe]

Playing as Jaws could be at least a little fun.

I see that going one of two ways.

Game model 1
-Find human
-Eat human
-Find human
-Eat human
-Find boat
-SHARK SMASH
-Eat humans
-Just swim around 'n shit
-Find human

Game model 2
-Find human
-Eat human
-Realize that human was radioactive and now you are a badass, trash-talking bipedal with guns
-Drive around a location that's supposed to be Long Island, but looks nothing like it
-Commit drive-by eatings while cruising in your x-treme ride
-Amass an army of crabs to assault the town and proclaim yourself Jaws, The Destroyer Of Worlds
-Do pretty much everything, regardless of wether or not it's related to the film
-Get sued by Steven Spielberg for being a jackass

 

[Edgar]

They are killing off my babies one by one.. why can't they just leave the classics alone?

 

[Naudian]

F*cking.

 

[Lucid]

I see that going one of two ways.

Game model 1
-Find human
-Eat human
-Find human
-Eat human
-Find boat
-SHARK SMASH
-Eat humans
-Just swim around 'n shit
-Find human

Game model 2
-Find human
-Eat human
-Realize that human was radioactive and now you are a badass, trash-talking bipedal with guns
-Drive around a location that's supposed to be Long Island, but looks nothing like it
-Commit drive-by eatings while cruising in your x-treme ride
-Amass an army of crabs to assault the town and proclaim yourself Jaws, The Destroyer Of Worlds
-Do pretty much everything, regardless of wether or not it's related to the film
-Get sued by Steven Spielberg for being a jackass

Winnar!

 

[bliink]

Jaws: the game!

Outline:
There are two teams; the Jaws (J's) and the Counter-Jaws (CJ's)

The J's must kill a swimmer, and the CJ's must protect.

There are a range of weapons, including a desert eagle, an m4, ak47, and an AWP. The team members also have cool radio sayings like "GET IN POSTION AND WAIT FOR MY FLIPPER" and "GET OUT OF THERE, THAR SHE BLOWS!"

Its a completely original game, built on the Duke Nukem: Forever engine.

 

[Dalamari]

How are they going to make The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly a game?

-Hang Tuco
-Shoot rope
-Split Money
-Repeat
-Walk through desert
-Shoot people
-Run around graveyard
-The End

I hope that these people AND the people making The Godfather game go broke and never finish their projects.

 

[bliink]

How are they going to make The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly a game?

Easy, you shoot cowboys and indians for 45 minutes, then you find a bigger gun, do it some more, theres a 2 minute cutscene, then you need to escort a female character with giant breasts for 80 minutes (fun!), then you fight a giant mutant monster that keeps crashing the game by pushing you out into no-clip land.

 

[Gorgon]

Easy, you shoot cowboys and indians for 45 minutes, then you find a bigger gun, do it some more, theres a 2 minute cutscene, then you need to escort a female character with giant breasts for 80 minutes (fun!), then you fight a giant mutant monster that keeps crashing the game by pushing you out into no-clip land.

LOL

---

 

[bliink]

I forgot to mention that it will run at 2 FPS on a 6Ghz 5GB Ram Pentum 4 with a 512Mb video card because of the "cutting edge particle effects" and "dust storm rendering" which involve 3 million, trillion, billion physically mapped and simulated dust particles.

This is a "breathtaking feature" that is "better than reality" and allows a "never before seen brownish smudge" to be placed infront of the player.

On top of this, it will have two maps, one of which is actually a menu background, the other is a wide open box with fullbright on, and about a million box shaped buildings that are a "living, breathing city".

The AI will involve "ablilities so real that you can't tell them from that kid you spoke to on AOL last night!".
The enemies will wander aimlessly until they clip into a building, fall out of the universe or suddenly fall over dead.
The friendlies sport "amazing cooperative play" and will follow the player provided the player moves in a straight line for no more than 3 seconds and no further than 42 units.

Voice acting will involve a man with a russian sounding accent playing a wild texan. The voice will be unintelligible due to thick accent, microphone distortion, background noise in the "recording studio" and muffled effects due to the microphone being in the "actors" mouth.

Sound effects are all 8 bit clips of static fuzz recorded at different pitches

Music is an endless loop of 4 bit beeps.

Textures are random spatterings of 2 bit glory.

Somehow the budget of this game was over 2 million dollars and it will take the prime slot on many news stations due to its high-particle blood simulations. Luckily noone will see it because the installer will work in reverse and randomly delete sectors off your hard disk.

 

[Korgoth]

In Jaws Unleashed (Unleashed because its XTREME!!!!) You play as jaws, and have to protect your underwater home from drillers.. How freakin' lame is that? They are ruining one of my all time favorite movies by making it a game! What the hell, thats supposed to be the other way around, usually they ruin my favorite games by making movies out of them.. Hey did Uwe get into game development after his directors career crashed?

 

[Sainku]

Taxi driver: The post traumatic stress disorder simulator.

-Deal with being a paranoid war vet using our patented "scum" meter technology

- A video game representation of robert de niro that is almost TOO REAL! It will have you saying "Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk" for the rest of your life!

-Tons of adult entertainment stores you can plunge a depressed physco into.

-Armed to the teeth you deal with revenge , rage, and a morbid obsession with the underworld of New York City

 

[Absinthe]

Hey did Uwe get into game development after his directors career crashed?

His directing career is not over. It's just in a perpetual state of crashing without continuum.

He's making a Dungeon Siege movie with Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, and Kristanna Loken. You'd think all these actors would be aware of how terrible Uwe Boll is, but I guess not. Let's not even begin to ponder how he managed to snare Ben Kingsley for his freakin' Bloodrayne film.

(Unrelated pic of Kristanna Loken being a lesbo. I like how the guy in the top-left corner is like "wtf... HAWT".)

 

[VictimOfScience]

wtf? Jaws? ..Taxi Driver? how could they possibly create a video game out of Taxi Driver?

Wow, Jack Thompson is going to have his hands full next year it sounds like! Imagine all of the shark mating scenes that might be hidden in the release of Jaws! Hot Chum Mod anyone?

And Taxi Driver? 'Nuff said.

 

[Absinthe]

Hot Chum

God, that sounds so wrong.

 

[staticprimer]

Jaws: the game!

Outline:
There are two teams; the Jaws (J's) and the Counter-Jaws (CJ's)

The J's must kill a swimmer, and the CJ's must protect.

There are a range of weapons, including a desert eagle, an m4, ak47, and an AWP. The team members also have cool radio sayings like "GET IN POSTION AND WAIT FOR MY FLIPPER" and "GET OUT OF THERE, THAR SHE BLOWS!"

Its a completely original game, built on the Duke Nukem: Forever engine.

Now that's just silly. Sharks have fins, not flippers. Also, they do not talk like pirates, they talk like James Earl Jones.

 

[Vigilante]

This reminds me of Outlaws by Lucas Arts.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

Jaws: the game!

Outline:
There are two teams; the Jaws (J's) and the Counter-Jaws (CJ's)

The J's must kill a swimmer, and the CJ's must protect.

There are a range of weapons, including a desert eagle, an m4, ak47, and an AWP. The team members also have cool radio sayings like "GET IN POSTION AND WAIT FOR MY FLIPPER" and "GET OUT OF THERE, THAR SHE BLOWS!"

Its a completely original game, built on the Duke Nukem: Forever engine.

lol that was actually funny, didn't know bliink had so much funniness portential