The Hit thread is back: Many People, Many Post Fan-Fic. "Unlikely turnabo"

[Sloth]

The Hit thread is back: Many People, Many Post Fan-Fic. "Unlikely turnabout"

Seeing that the first one was such a hit, i decided to revive the thread. The basic rules will be the same but a few new rules will be added to make the plotline run smoother.

1.Only story, no posts saying "This is great" or "boo you suck. Outside comments must be made within brackets (blah blah)
2. When you have a person talking you write
Person's Name: blah blah blah
3.When you have action, you write * action*
3. Do not change the plot durasticaly
4. This is a semi-serious machinima. (Try to limit the humor but don't vanquish it.
5. Have fun, and be creative/take your time.


Firstly the starting paragraph.

The three Civil Protection men sat around the computer console.
CP 3: If we delete our files we will be able to go free. Maybe join them...
CP 2: Join who?
CP 1: The Rebels...

The basic plot is that 3 CPs join the Rebels...
Post on...

 

[15357]

W00t! thank you evilsloth!!!!
--------------------------------------

CP2: why?
CP1: i dunno....
CP3: err, they have chiness food!

 

[MarcoPollo]

CP 2: I know we talked about it before, but do you think it would actually work?
CP 1: Maybe, but anything is better than living this horrible life.
CP 3: Yeh, plus we know about the inner workings of these freaks, so we could help sabatoge.
CP 2: Ok, so its setled? We are going to erase ourselves and start new lives as a team?
CP 1: Like I said, anything is better than this.


Edit: (15357, not everything has to have a pun....)

 

[Sloth]

(15357 try not to be too random...)

 

[15357]

CP 2: I know we talked about it before, but do you think it would actually work?
CP 1: Maybe, but anything is better than living this horrible life.
CP 3: Yeh, plus we know about the inner workings of these freaks, so we could help sabatoge.
CP 2: Ok, so its setled? We are going to erase ourselves and start new lives as a team?
CP 1: Like I said, anything is better than this.


Edit: (15357, not everything has to have a pun....)

(what pun?)

(i'm not random)

 

[bliink]

Make it a sitcom... write some crap like this for it:

SCENE ONE; Metrocop Command Station

CP2: What if they think its a trap?
CP1: Then we can show them this! [points revolver at CP3]
CP3: [ducks]
CP2: Hows that supposed to stop them thinking its a trap?! wouldn't it just make them try to shoot us?
CP1: I don't know.. what do I look like? Mr-Answers?! I just thought it looks cool when I do it [Holsters, then draws revlover again]
CP2: Well, you're kinda right there.. hang on.. [Tries with his USP, CP3 Watches]
*Fading out*
CP1: No, like this... [Demonstrates]
*To black*

SCENE TWO; Town Street

Rebel1 [to 2nd rebel]: Seen anymore wooden palletes around here? I'm building a new base
[Shot of a shoddy pile of wood, stuck together at random, jagged angles]
Rebel2: Uh... maybe behind that dumpster over there
Rebel1: [starts to move, excited] thanks!
[Before he can move two steps, the CP's enter. CP1 & 2 are brandishing revlovers in an erratic manner, constantly holstering and unholstering them; CP3 follows behind, trying to do the same with a shotgun]
CP1: HELLO CITIZENS! WE COME IN PE..
Rebel1: SHIT! COMBINE!
Rebel2: AHHHHHH [begins firing SMG wildly in direction of CP's, while screaming]
Rebel1: [Shouts, jumps behind wall and fires pistol]
CP1,2: [Scatter, backpeddle]
Same time;
CP3: SHIIIIIT!!! [fires shotgun once, one of the bullets striking upon the wall behind him ricochets and hits him in the head, he goes down]
CP2: [from behind cover with CP1; shouting over the noise of growing gunfire] You never did explain how this would show them we were friendly!!
CP1: [excited] oh my god!! did you see how cool we looked then! I was like all: [unholsters and reholsters gun] and you were all: [repeats action].. man!!

 

[15357]

CP2: CP is overrun! We have no containment!
CP1: Outbreak, Outbreak!
CP3: *groan*

 

[Jintor]

Rebel1: (panting)What the hell was that?
Rebel2: I dunno, but one of them said they wanted peas.
Rebel1: (Looking unconvinced) Wanted peas?
Rebel2: I guess that's what the combine do to your mind. Those guys were as bad as the headcrab zombies.

(And, as per usual, i foresee a Red-vs-blue sorta style. Can we name them? Pwease?)

 

[MarcoPollo]

Rebel2: Were's the map?
Rebel1: Um, it's somewhere around here....
Rebel2: YOU LOST THE MAP!?
Rebel1: I didn't lose it so much as I put it somewhere where I don't know where that is.
Rebel2: Ok, when was the last time you had it with you that you remember?
Rebel1: On the roof...
Rebel2: Are You crazy..Seriously, Are you crazy? We can't go back up there!
Rebel1: Well unless you know your way back to base from here....

 

[rpgprog]

Ronald(Rebel1): Wait! There is something we can do. . .
Frank(Rebel2): No! not that! That is out of the question!
Ronald: Yes we are going to go up through the air duct.
Frank. But.. but that is just stupid.
Ronald: Would you rather try the combine guarded stairs.
Frank: well... no.
Ronald And you want the map right.
Frank: well... yes.
Ronald: so up the duct we go.
Frank: sigh

[btw you can change the names if you want]

 

[AJ Rimmer]

CP1: Well, that went well.
CP3: Shut up.
CP2: Where did they go?
CP1: They must have run away.
CP3: We'd better hurry, reinforcements will arrive soon.
CP2: Maybe we can find them if we could reach higher ground.
CP1: Like what?
*they all looked around and finally found the perfect spot.*
CP3: The roof!
CP2: Great idea!
CP1: This can have no bad, humourous, dramatic or ironic consequences whatsoever!
CP3: What an odd thing to say... oh well, let's go!

 

[Jintor]

CP1: (now known as Crush) So... what are we going to do at this perfect spot?
CP2: (now known as Jangle) I was thinking a barbecue, myself.
CP3: (now known as Jean and therefore a WOMAN) Why a barbecue?
Jangle: Why the hell not?
Jean: Because we're sort of going to die by rebel hands, soon, despite the fact that we want to JOIN them.
Crush: I told you guys to take off your helmets, but nooooo. This would impress them, you said. This would be great, you said. Oh yes, and now i have bulletwounds in my freaking BRAIN thanks to you.
Jean: If you had a bullet in your brain, you'd be dead.
Crush: Like i'd believe you.
Jangle: (Looking around a corner) Uh... guys...

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Jean: What the hell is that supposed to mean huh?
Crush: Well, what do you know about anatomy?
Jangle: Uhh... guys.
Jean: What? Because I'm a woman?
Crush: No because you're a moron!
Jean: What did you call me?
Jangle: Guys...
Crush: A moron, I called you a moron!
Jangle: Guys!
Jean: Unless you want a medium sized standard CP boot nailed between your testicles, you'd better shut your face in five seconds flat!
Crush: Does that mean I get another four seconds to insult you in?
Jangle: GUYS!!!
Crush & Jean: What?
*Jangle points around the corner and his two fellow officers peak around to where he's pointing*
Jean: Ohh...
Crush: Ahhhh...
Jangle: Uh-huh...

 

[rpgprog]

Meanwhile in the air duct
(Frank and Ronald having difficulty climbing up the duct Ronalds on top.)
Frank (Sarcasticly): Well this was a smart idea
Ronald: What do you mean
Frank: You just farted in my face.
Ronald: O sorry. Wait! I See light light.
Frank: Really hurry up.
Ronald: kk
(Both exit the duct and see the three CP's staring at them...
Frank: O shoot COMBIIIIINE
(Both draw guns)

 

[Sloth]

(at the same time)
Jean: Don't Shoot I'm a woman!
Crush: Don't shoot, i'm still a...
Jangle: PEACE?

*the rebels look slightly confused*

 

[hbegg]

*Frank spasticaly fires a round into the roof of the building*

Ronald: SHIT

Jean: DONT KILL US

*Ronald cocks his revolver*

Ronald: What? why not?

Jean: Because... because I LOVE YOU!!

*they embrace*

*Everyone looks slightly confused"

*combine metropolice officer enters to investigate shot*

Crush: AH COMBINE!!!

*crush draws his revolver and shoots at the metro police, missing*

*everyone follows suite and retardedly fires in the general direction of the metropolice officer, who runs back down the stairs*

 

[Jintor]

Jean: Ah crap, now they know we're here.
Frank: (swinging gun around to point at the CP's) You still havn't explained why we should trust you. (Glances at Ronald) Or why you're with him.
Ronald: Uh... I can explain, Frank.
Crush: Yeah, Jean. I thought that whole procedure sterilised us or something.
Ronald: Well, yeah... but we discovered that the procedure was actually more reliant on making us think that we were sterile.
Jean: Besides, Sterilisation has nothing to do with desire.
(Jangle throws up into bin, through the mask)
Crush: Jangle, what the hell's wrong with you.
Frank: Can you get back to the explaining why we should trust you?
Jangle: (wiping puke of mask front) It's a long story. And we arn't really that safe here...

 

[crackhead]

crush: thats true. let me just have a quick urination down the shute

(he walks to the shute and undoing his fly removes his manhood and begins to relieve the pressure. his bladder breathes a sigh of realive. and then suddenly, whats this? he thinks. a burning sensation? and just like that he remembered pulling the fat chick at the party who was ridden with disease. he finishes peeing and returns to the group).

Jean: he must be calling for backup!

Frank: what are we gona do what are we gona do ?!!!

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Ronald: Right, let's get outta here!
*they all run off and hide a couple of streets away*
Frank: Ok so, explain.
Crush: Well, the reason you can trust us is that...
Frank: No no no, not that, I mean why are you two to together? *Points gun at jean and Ronald*
Jean: Well, he's cute. He's charming. Plus he's a doctor.
Frank: What? No he's not he's a... OW! What'ya kick me for?
Ronald: Shut up Frankie!
*Jean pushes Frank up against a wall*
Jean: Is there something you wanna tell me Ron?
Ronald: Uhmm... You have beautiful eyes?
*Jangle interrupts Jean as she is about to hurt Ronald*
Jangle: Guys, we don't have time for this! Listen! (sirens and CP alarms are echoing) We gotta get outta here before this place is crawling with scanners and cops!
Frank: Hmmm... Okay, I guess we can trust you, come on, we know a way.
Jean: (letting Ronald go and pushing him away) This conversation is not over Ronny!
Crush: (glancing at Ronald) Hell hath no fury like a woman with agressive mood enhancers and a biological clock forcively cut short at the age of 22 scorned.

 

[crackhead]

ronald: i know of an abandened ware house not far from here lets go!

(running at a reasonably slow pace they all follow ronald down the road. an old man holding a black breifcase with the words black mesa on it walks past them and winks at crash.)

crash: hey wasnt that...

(they turn a corner)

ronald: here it is!

(infront of them is a huge red warehouse)

ronald: this is where i used to come to be alone with my thoughts and feelings

crash: nerd

ronald: hey im a sensative guy

 

[Jintor]

Frank: Sensative my ass. This is where you used to take those chicks you'd score at resistance parties...
Crush: (aside to CP's) Dammit, we should have joined the Rebellion years ago...
Jean: Lay off the sexy thoughts, Crush. Can we get these damn helmets off now? I'm tired of breathing through a smoke filter.
Ronald: I wouldn't - this area of the city is, shall we say, a little toxic.
Jangle: How toxic?

*Ronald takes out a little device, that starts to beep a little. He waves it around the air, and when it hits a little spot it starts beeping violently*

Crush: What is that?
Frank: New toxic thingy. Sorta like a geiger counter. Now watch...
Ronald: Everybody get behind the crates!

*Everyone runs to the crates. Ronald gets out a match and hurls it towards the spot where the detector went insane*

 

[MarcoPollo]

(hmm I'm going to have a fun time editing this, btw how long should this thread be? page wise?)

 

[15357]

*The match ignites violently and causes a large explosion, knocking them all out. When they wake up, they find that they are in a prison cell*

 

[Sloth]

( i don't know, maybe when it gets to a good plot end-ish)
(15357, don't change the plot too far)

Rebel Prison Guard (RPG) : Well we seem to have some Rats, sideing with the UU are we?
*rebel kicks Ronald*
RPG:Your having a meeting with "Chief" in the next room, get the F**K UP!

 

[15357]

( i don't know, maybe when it gets to a good plot end-ish)
(15357, don't change the plot too far)

sorry.....

 

[Jintor]

Ronald: Stop it, you moron! You can see who we are!
RPG: You're a bunch of loonies, siding with the Combine, that's who you are! Get up already, or I'll shoot you!
Jangle: (watching nerveously as Jean slowly slides behind the RPG and reaches around his neck) Uh... Jean, stoppit, you don't kill prison guards. Not when they're on your team.
Jean: Dammit, why the hell didn't we just take our helmets off in the first place? Why?

 

[Sloth]

Jean: But we're siding with you.
After the glance from the RPG she said again.
Jean: But i LOVE YOU
*Jean hugs the RPG goes to kiss him*

 

[15357]

RPG: Ha! that doesn't work on me, you (CENSORED FOR EXPLICT LANGUAGE).
Jean: argh...
Frank: *Punchs RPG on nose, knocking him out*
Frank: That took care of our problem. Now lets get this very visible key from his belt and open this door.

 

[Jintor]

Ronald: Frank, have you ever been inside a rebel prison...?
Frank: No, why?
Jangle: None of us have, either.
Jean: Well...
Jangle: ...
Ronald: Well, the thing i was going to say was... rebel grenades are disguised as keys.

*Frank looks at glowing key in his hand*

Frank: Oh *****-

 

[Sloth]

Five seconds was the count for grenades.

FIVE…

 

[MarcoPollo]

FOUR
THREE
*Frank drops the key and all 3 start to run*
TWO
ONE!
The explosion made less of an impact than they thought it would...
Frank: Well that was hardly worthy of a title as grenade!
*Just as soon as he says that the grenade's shrapnel Explodes with great power and force*
*The Explosion rumbles the prison and they start to hear the cealling fall down around them*
*The ceilling crashes down as they all duck for cover*

Jangle: Now THAT was an explosion. Have you ever seen one like that?
Ronald: Yes, it was quiet big, but a key? Isn't that a bit too convienient?
Jean: SHUT UP and let's get out.

 

[Sloth]

*Jean Runs waving her arms in the air*

Combine Radio: ZZT. Explosion detected in Sector 49b, requesting all units. ZZT.

Ronald: RUN!

(Pollo sorry for the no post, hadn't the time)

 

[Jintor]

Outside the prison, large warehouse area. Building in background partially collapsed, small fires flaring up in the debris. A COMBINE SQUAD outside an APC are standing outside, in battle positions

Squad Leader: (monotone) Squad, inside, Alpha squad, with me. Beta and Delta Force, advance after Alpha squad. There are 3 Combine soldiers inside. They shall come back with us. Or else. (fingers trigger)

Squad: (unanimous) Yessir!

Squad Leader: (Looking at arm-monitor) Officers Jangle, Jean and Crush. Well, well well...

 

[Sloth]

(Can't now, going to exams in like an hour, need last minute study. Will post when i get home. Also can someone other than Evilsloth, Jintor and MarcoPollo post something?)

 

[the_rebel_medic]

Jean: Wow this is sure as hell a turn of events
Ronald: yup for the lot of us
Crush: first thing we are loyal...happy...well fed CPs then
Jangle: yes were *does inverted commas with fingers*"rebels"
Frank: yea yea yea whatever
*gets a sudden flashback of laslo's death*
Frank: Oh god poor laslo
Ronald: laslo...who's laslo
Crush: no time to talk about that, incoming
*can flies into room*
Jean: that was rather an anti climax.
*can is making a tiking noise*
Crush: oh shi-
*large explosion*
*all charecters get flown about the room*
Jangle: oooohhh my head
Ronald: hey crush still got that revolver
Crush: Yea why?
Ronald: Cos i think ya gonna need it
*they all run to a hidden position*
Ronald: so who was laslo
Frank: well he was killed by antlions on highway 17 and my name was legaly changed from Sandy
Ronald: I see, Meh


(do ya like my first post?)

 

[Sloth]

(lol, good but don't change way too much, but LOL)

 

[the_rebel_medic]

(man no one has posted in like... 4 or five days)