the "oh look I'm a dumb blonde fighting pirates" viideo game

[CptStern]

like whateveh!!!

DTP Entertainment announces So Blonde, a girl gone wild simulation of a teenage American being developed by French developer Wizarbox for release in German-speaking territories this November:

oh so it'll be an authentic simulation made by a french company for german teens of what it means to be an american teenage girl?

She is young, she is pretty and she comes from rich parents: Sunny Blonde has little to worry about in her life. Especially not today: the 17-year-old American beauty is on a luxurious Atlantic cruise with her parents, celebrating their wedding anniversary. But it?s not really a party after Sunny?s taste ? she?d rather be getting down with her friends. [insert sexual innuendo here]

That?s why she uses every chance she gets to get away from her parents and explore the ship. Just when the ship passes by the Bermuda Islands, the inevitable occurs: a heavy thunderstorm rolls in, the cruise ship is overwhelmed by the sea. Sunny passes out and is transported into one of the vessel?s lifeboats?

Sunny comes to on a gorgeous sandy beach on an island covered with palm trees. She can barely recall what happened. Still slightly dazed, she does register that there are no other passengers anywhere near ? she seems to be stranded on the island all by herself.

thus starts a quest for makeup and hairspray


hey I'm not all that far off:

More severe for Sunny is that all of a sudden she will have to make do without all her luxurious accessories: her cell phone gets no coverage, her make-up is all messed up, and there doesn?t appear to be a shopping mall in walking distance.

and then it just starts to get strange:

And her troubles are only getting started: through some freak of time and space, she seems to have been transported several centuries back and landed in the middle of an age ruled by pirates and buccaneers

pirates, buccaneers, lipstick, childish giggles and vacant stares ..sounds exciting but then again i'm not a german teenager

this game makes me want to poke out my eyes

http://www.bluesnews.com/cgi-bin/board.pl?action=viewthread&threadid=75861

 

[Icarusintel]

This is why the French should be eradicated.

 

[Kyorisu]

And her troubles are only getting started: through some freak of time and space, she seems to have been transported several centuries back and landed in the middle of an age ruled by pirates and buccaneers

I hope those pirates pillage her well.

 

[Gunner]

This is why the French should be eradicated.

Because the french are obviously the only people who develop stupid games...

 

[CptStern]

well they did force some americans to change french fries into "freedom" fries ..so for making them act like complete and utterly stupid morons the French should vilified ..no, no that's not right .. lets be reasonable: they should be congradulated for making it easier to spot the moron ..kudos france, keep up the good work

 

[Beerdude26]

So Blonde, developed by French team Wizarbox has it all: a beautiful (anti-)heroine, jet black humor that goes far beyond trite cliches, gorgeous cartoon graphics and a ton of gameplay surprises.

WAIT

So Blonde, developed by French team Wizarbox has it all: a beautiful (anti-)heroine, jet black humor that goes far beyond trite cliches, gorgeous cartoon graphics and a ton of rape. Rape. Rape. RAPE.

Ok fixed

 

[Stigmata]

I hope those pirates pillage her well.

 

[Darkside55]

She is young, she is pretty and she comes from rich parents: Sunny Blonde has little to worry about in her life. Especially not today: the 17-year-old American beauty is on a luxurious Atlantic cruise with her parents, celebrating their wedding anniversary.

Sunny Blonde has little to worry about in her life. Especially not today: the 17-year-old American beauty is on a luxurious Atlantic cruise with her parents

Especially not today: the 17-year-old American beauty

the 17-year-old American

17-year-old

17

SEVENTEEN

It may be a French game for Germans, but she's AMERICAN, which makes this a game about jailbait.

I would say, "Hope you like federal prison," but I don't think the feds can catch pirates.

 

[Stigmata]

It's not illegal if the porn is hidden

 

[VictimOfScience]

I don't know about you guys, but I am actually pretty excited for this one for one big reason: STEVE INCE (the guy behind Mr. Smoozles Goes Nutso and the forthcoming Juniper Crescent: The Sapphire Claw). He knows how to write a good story and adventures just rule in general, esp. when they are well-done.

With a story written by Steve Ince, best known for his involvement in the Broken Sword series as writer and designer, So Blonde promises plenty of puzzling riddles in a game that "has it all: a beautiful (anti-)heroine, jet black humor that goes far beyond trite clich?s, gorgeous cartoon graphics and a ton of gameplay surprises."

Source.

Count me in!!! I loved the Runaway games and this should prove great along the same lines I think.

 

[CptStern]

but wont you get bored when your cell phone stops ringing and you run out of makeup? how will know what's happening with Bradjelina?


when you finally do purchase it will you tell the guy at the cashier "it's for my girlfriend"? and then run away quickly before he's on to you?

of course I kid ...maybe it's just me but the last thing I'd ever want to play as is a teenage girl ..they're just so icky

 

[<RJMC>]

porn included or me not buy!

 

[VictimOfScience]

but wont you get bored when your cell phone stops ringing and you run out of makeup? how will know what's happening with Bradjelina?


when you finally do purchase it will you tell the guy at the cashier "it's for my girlfriend"? and then run away quickly before he's on to you?

of course I kid ...maybe it's just me but the last thing I'd ever want to play as is a teenage girl ..they're just so icky

Hahaha! I just hope the box art is not super Barbie-ish with glitter and pinkness everywhere! It will be a mail-order if that is the case--and hopefully shipped in a plain brown wrapper.

Seriously though, I love adventure games in general, so the female protagonist doesn't really bother me, esp. with Steve writing. He is remarkably funny and talented and it should make a game that in the hands of a lesser comic talent would be a bomb, but in his able hands could be a serious winner. I love the style if it is anything like the Runaway games too--those cartoony graphics are phenomenal!

 

[CptStern]

Hahaha! I just hope the box art is not super Barbie-ish with glitter and pinkness everywhere! It will be a mail-order if that is the case--and hopefully shipped in a plain brown wrapper.

Seriously though, I love adventure games in general, so the female protagonist doesn't really bother me, esp. with Steve writing. He is remarkably funny and talented and it should make a game that in the hands of a lesser comic talent would be a bomb, but in his able hands could be a serious winner. I love the style if it is anything like the Runaway games too--those cartoony graphics are phenomenal!

ya I was just ribbing you ..adventure games are making a slow comback

btw did you know that Dreamfall is going episodic? probably delivered over steam

 

[VictimOfScience]

ya I was just ribbing you ..adventure games are making a slow comback

Yeah I know :cheers: , and I am damn glad they are making a comeback. The thinking-man's genre is about to return because the age of untinking action is over!! (I hope--and not just in games, but geopolitics as well, if you get my meaning.)

btw did you know that Dreamfall is going episodic? probably delivered over steam

Yeah, I read that. Dreamfall was no Longest Journey, to be sure, but it was fairly entertaining. I am just not a fan of episodic gaming. I, unlike most youngsters today, actually have an attention span larger than a couple of minutes or hours. I guess I will wait and get the entire release if it ever drops in retail....

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

What the shit?

Porn or no $50get.

 

[Jintor]

Two words: PIRATE BOOTY.