The Urban Dictionary/Uncyclopaedia Thread.

[99.vikram]

Post your all-time facorite funny stuff from these two sites here. (Please keep it short)

My favourites:

Girl:-
"You can't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."

Caltech:-
An institute with a grand total of three girls (one pregnant, one lesbian, and one three-year-old -- Dean's daughter). Students would like you to believe that they have something that the Massachusetts Institute of Technology MIT does not... and they are right! They have more circle-jerks to the latest issue of Hot Women of Science Monthly.

Person 1: I go to Caltech.
Person 2: I'm sorry, but I'm not gay... (Walks away)

Person 1: So, we were at Caltech, studying--- Wait, I think you've got something wrong with your chest.
Person 2: Ummm, I'm a girl.
Person 1: (Is confused) Guuu... uuhh... urrrl?

 

[Remus]

YOUR HEAD A'SPLODE


This weapon is probably one of the most fiendish things concieved by man. This weapon launches geometric attacks in the form of two-dimensional squares. When your enemy sees this, they go "WTF?!" because they can't conceive anything that's smaller than three dimensions. Therefore, their head will a'splode (not explode as many would think), disintegrating into many two dimensional lines. Just remember, while firing said weapon that you look away, for if you see the two dimensional square, your head will a'splode too.

.........

 

[Beerdude26]

Sterned:
Like owned or pwned, but only useable in a political context. Used when you have achieved victory in an (often online) political debate.

Common misspellings such as "Sternt", "Sternd" and "Sternz0red" are also acceptable.

Winner One : "OMFG, Sterned biyatch"
Winner Two : "Yeah, u got sternt lol"

Win

 

[Pulse]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Led_Zeppelin

Made me laugh hard, especially the run down of some of their songs and the discography.

 

[Remus]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_gravity

"what goes up must be an airplane"

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Godzilla

After 1985, Godzilla fell into a stupor of booze and fornication, a period that lasted until the epic fight of Godzilla versus his personal demons, which laid waste to half the liquor stores in Canada. Godzilla attempted a comeback, with mild success: a weak win against Frankenberry in 1991 and a series of wins by surrender against France were not enough to overcome the humiliation of a tie in a fight against Barbra Streisand.

Recently, Godzilla admitted that he'd had an illicit affair with long-time aquaintence and popular porn-locater Google, which resulted in an illegitimate child known only as Mozilla.

With the help of Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Kobe Bryant was able to defeat Godzilla, after Godzilla attacked him for making a flagrant foul during a game of one on one basketball.

WTF

Edit: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Freeman

He has since become the center of attention for the public eye, starring in his own full-length film, Half-Life, a sequel, and making cameo appearances in Halo: Combat Pussified and Halo 2: Oh God, Not More of the Same Insane Bullshit, OH RAGDOLL PHYSICS!.

 

[ríomhaire]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Air
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Cabbage
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sexual_innuendo
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Nihilism
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Redundancy
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Random_humor

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Hot_Barely_Legal_Teenage_pictures_showing_their_first_time_to_go_nude


I'm sorry, the site has some real jems, I just couldn't keep it short.

 

[Adabiviak]

 

[Qonfused]

Ben's Mom

A salad-tossing cum dumpster

Damn, when I did Ben's Mom, it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Within my group of friends, we make fun of this kid's mom. A lot. And it's because she's manly. She wears the pants in the family. So, naturally, it was extra hilarious to find this on UD.

 

[Dekstar]

Oh shit the FBI's on the phone with my mum!
*hides*

 

[Dax]

The Internet was designed by the US military and some universities to supply our soldiers with Porn. But in the near past some People that are addicted to the Dark Side abused the internet to distribute free Information, open source software and other bad and devastating things. Whenever an American child stumbles across porn, a head is sure to asplode, a process similar to exploding, but messier. This is not to be confused with the the adult reaction,where the head of the penis explodes in a messy shower of cum.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Porn

 

[Jintor]

I still love the redundancy article. But the Manhatten Project article is still pretty good.

I prefered it when there was an article of the week. Then gems were chosen, not this shoddy crap now every day.

 

[Man|-|unter]

Yahoo

applicable to anyone who is uncultured, ignorant, or stupid...of lower intelligence than yourself.

Google

The holy mother of all search engines. Is the most efficient, and reliable search engines. Can generate a few million results within a fraction of a second. Can be used for homework, dating, and for looking at high quality divx porn for satisfying your sex-deprived lives.

I used google to search for transsexual porn!

MSN

The term used for a computer virus, developed by Microsoft. This virus is spread from computer to computer to human to computer and is more widespread than HIV and AIDS put together.

The virus attacks your computer speed, personal life, language skills, personality, hard drive space and posture. The virus is HIGHLY contagious .

On the plus side, your typing skills will improve 1000% !

((EXAMPLE 1))
*dude 1* HEY OMG OMG I JUST GOT MSN !
*dude 2* im so sorry to hear. stay the hell away from me, i just reformatted.

((EXAMPLE 2))
*dude 1* Do you want to see a movie later?
*dude 2* HAHA LOL NO THX B/C I WILL B CHATTING ON MSN 2NITE KK?
*dude 1* huh???

 

[cheddarrr]

oh and kitten huffing... lolol

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_huffing

 

[mastag]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Doors