TheNerdNews: Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

thenerdguy

Newbie
Joined
May 20, 2003
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
0
Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4489792.stm

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.

"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he said.
 
Awesome news, thanks for the lowdown on the carnivore squirrels nerdy. I'll be sure to keep an eye out incase they all revolt and my cat needs kevlar.
 
flesh-eating-killer-squirrels... sounds like REVOLUTION!
 
oh god if thats what happens when squirrels get hungry... arm yourselves.
 
lmao, n1 short recoil, and lol @ article too i laughed so hard when it said "when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked," haha
 
They're taking revenge for this Russian squirrel cape.

russian-squirrel-cape-stole-002.jpg
 
Whenever I'll go fur protesting, I'll bring a pack of these guys :p
 
i chose you angry pack of black squirrels, also known as "Black Death"*


*name is not to be confused with the terrible tragity that happened in Europe 600 years ago.
 
OMG This is so random! :rolling: It kinda reminds me of snarks in HL. Arm yourselves!!!
gun-squirrel.jpg
* Haha I just thought of Dr. Evil and his fish bass! Dr. Evil and his squirrels with 'fricken laser beams attached to their heads!
 
Oh noes!

WW3 is upon us...and its not us tearing eachother apart! The squirrels have had enough!

We need to retreat to the HL2.net bunker and ready our defenses!
 
awww so cute (insert noise depicting onlookers face being ripped off by little squirrely teeth)
 
This is actually a BONE he's chewing on! Trust me, I was there! I took the picture! These squirrels are gonna take over the world. Now whenever they run up your body, they're not just being mischievous, they're gonna eat your ear, and then your face.


squirrelbone3gs.jpg
 
They are carrying out my plan perfectly...
*cough cough* *ahem* Huh what? I said nothing, nothing.

Did you get a good look at his face? could you pick him out of a lineup? No? I could've been anybody.
 
Code:
flesh-eating-killer-squirrels

that is some scary shit :D
 
thenerdguy said:
Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the blacksquirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

Oh, always trying to bring a brother down!
 
Hey is anyone reminded of the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Veruca gets what's coming to her?
 
shit... i have noticed an increase in the little bastards... i think the revolution is upon us, gentlemen.... prepare thyselves!
 
Icarusintel said:
shit... i have noticed an increase in the little bastards... i think the revolution is upon us, gentlemen.... prepare thyselves!

Now really. How in the holy hell can you prepare for the Squirrocalypse?:eek:
 
I imagine it would be something lika a zompocalypse, load up on shotguns and shells.
 
Que-Ever said:
I imagine it would be something lika a zompocalypse, load up on shotguns and shells.

Exploding nuts. Terriifying in any other context, but practical and helpful in the Squirrel Revolution.
 
MiccyNarc said:
Hey is anyone reminded of the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Veruca gets what's coming to her?
thats what i was thinking of when i read this story...you can read minds...anyways that scene was ****ing hilarious
 
Kamikazie said:
thats what i was thinking of when i read this story...you can read minds...anyways that scene was ****ing hilarious
I don't EVER remember verucca getting a good hard shag...
 
The first thing I thought when I saw this article is the P.A.N.I.C.S video by Rooster Teeth for FEAR...

"Hey..where's all your meat?"

gh0st said:
god squirrels are so cute
Yeah..until they eat you...then they are hillariously cute!
 
Come to think of it, I've never seen a squirrel here.

Thankfully, it seems that I shall survive the squirrel apocalypse. :E
 
Haha, I can go and live on my scottish island where there are only peaceful red squirrels. Then I can watch the battles and riots on live TV.
 
I think 15357 send them to destroy the russian revisionists.
 
Hush, you are ruining my master plan.
 
YOUR master plan? What about MY master plan? Exactly which master are these squirells serving?
 
Que-Ever said:
YOUR master plan? What about MY master plan? Exactly which master are these squirells serving?

time-shared squirrelly apocalypse? D:
 
pvtbones said:
time-shared squirrelly apocalypse? D:

Phht. Time shares are a waste of money. Especially when talking about the Squirracalypse.
 
Back
Top