things you have to believe to be a Republican today

[Phisionary]

someone sent this too me. funny. :| slightly outdated I think.
...first, you should know that is a joke.

Actually, it isn't. ​

things you have to believe to be a Republican today.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him,
a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him,
a good guy when Cheney did business with him and
a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions, without regulation, affecting
all humanity.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A
president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid
defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for
your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can
tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what
Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

 

[Tr0n]

A joke...but it's all true. Good stuff man...

 

[hasan]

hmm .. tbh not even close to funny. didn't even make me smile. (and if you don't already know, I am probably the most radical anti-bush here?).

and it's full of anti-religous staire.

 

[Phisionary]

yeah, you're right. about two out of sixteen of em :\

 

[Mr-Fusion]

It made me giggle.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.

A masterstroke!

 

[poksmote]

It's the government. Religion shouldn't take part, or have any influence within the government. Church and State are seperated for a reason -- they don't belong together.

 

[f|uke]

hmm .. tbh not even close to funny.

I dont understand why people respond like this. Why do people think they have the last word on what is funny? Why butt in to tell someone they didnt like it?

Due to the nature of the material, its more satirical then anything else. Maybe not laugh out loud funny (because the truth therein is a shame), but it is poignant.

And you have to be an American to really apriciate it anyways.

**edit,. vvv you just dont get it. simple as that.

 

[hasan]

yeah, you're right. about two out of sixteen of em :\

They don't have to be directly anti-religous.
Stuff related to sex, gays, and drugs fall in that category. why? liberals think they are ok because social morals are BS restrictions set by the society or church.

Also, what I meant is, alot of the stuff isn't really touching the real issues.

It's the government. Religion shouldn't take part, or have any influence within the government. Church and State are seperated for a reason -- they don't belong together.

Because America is a secular state.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body ..

what's that referring to?

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

that doesn't count as anti-religous? I count it as such. and I find sex related comments very stupid.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages ..

see above,

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for
your recovery.

the point is? nothing wrong with drugs?

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

I think that's kinda uncalled for .. a nice way to get people to not vote bush

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

how about just stop preaching evolution in schools?

Cmon man .. nothing about the Iraq issue? I mean, that's bush's weakest point right now, anybody can hammer him with that.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him,
a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him,
a good guy when Cheney did business with him and
a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"diversion.

ok .. although republicans don't really think that way. That's about it?

 

[blahblahblah]

Its funny from an American perspective. You have to live with it to understand.

You realize the same thing can be done to democrats? That's just as funny from an American perspective too.

 

[f|uke]

You realize the same thing can be done to democrats? That's just as funny from an American perspective too.

Of course. I'm just saying an Iraqi isnt liable to get our partisan jabs.

 

[blahblahblah]

Of course. I'm just saying an Iraqi isnt liable to get our partisan jabs.

I disagree. If he has lived in the US for any period of time or even familar with American culture he probably could understand the majority of them.

 

[f|uke]

I disagree. If he has lived in the US for any period of time or even familar with American culture he probably could understand the majority of them.

Does he live in America? If he does, yes, he could, but judging by his last post, he does not sound Americanized, and although he is anti-Bush, he does not understand the liberal perspective. The evidence that he doesnt understand them is plain enough.

"what's that referring to?"
doesnt understand the abortion issue,

"the point is? nothing wrong with drugs?"
He really missed the point there. Doesnt know about Rush Limbagh.

"that doesn't count as anti-religous?"
Actually, it doesnt. Plenty of religious people dont have a problem with teaching safe sex.

"how about just stop preaching evolution in schools?"
SCARY! How about we stop teaching physics too.

I'd say he doesnt understand the perspective of the original post at all. Hes far too imbeded in Iraqi Muslim culture. I have American Muslim friends who would agree with this post wholeheartedly.

 

[Phisionary]

They don't have to be directly anti-religous.
Stuff related to sex, gays, and drugs fall in that category. why? liberals think they are ok because social morals are BS restrictions set by the society or church.

I think you're reading a heck of a lot more between the lines then most of us are.

Also, what I meant is, alot of the stuff isn't really touching the real issues.

not supposed to. they're jokes? not real funny ones, IMO. ironic, more like.

that doesn't count as anti-religous? I count it as such. and I find sex related comments very stupid.

I certaintly wouldn't. I see it as the stuck-in-the-past mindset of those who refuse to accept changes in society, and whose children feel the effects when the world DOES change. I don't see religion as part of that. Not necessarily, at least. And I find that you find sex related comments stupid very stupid. So we're even.

the point is? nothing wrong with drugs?

it's a jab at the hypocracy many republicans show when something bad is done by one of their own.

I think that's kinda uncalled for .. a nice way to get people to not vote bush

and... ??

I didn't write it. If any of these is a joke, I'd say that one would be the most likely.

how about just stop preaching evolution in schools?

It's not preaching, it's education. Schools are expected to teach what would best prepare studends for the realities of the future. Deneying evolution happens doesn't look to be a good way to do that right now...

Cmon man .. nothing about the Iraq issue? I mean, that's bush's weakest point right now, anybody can hammer him with that.

yes, it is outdated. I think I read this a year ago or more... now we have many more bad things to say about bush. anyways, it's a... um. joke. about republicans, not bush per se.

ok .. although republicans don't really think that way. That's about it?

that's what you think. a majority of them don't, but a significant portion probably do...

 

[falconwind]

Guys, I'm not an American and I got EVERY single one of them.

I honestly don't think it says anything positive when you guys can laugh at the hypocrisy of the ruling Republicans, yet the rest of the world is mortified and appalled.

 

[Phisionary]

I'm mortified and appalled too. ANd I have to live here.

 

[falconwind]

Canada should unite with the US and thereby elect Kerry into office. :cheese:

 

[Phisionary]

I wouldn't want to afflict Americans on your country. :|

 

[ComradeBadger]

This is why I'm a centralist, but believe in the war in Iraq.

Hasan made some very very good points

 

[Neutrino]

They don't have to be directly anti-religous.
Stuff related to sex, gays, and drugs fall in that category. why? liberals think they are ok because social morals are BS restrictions set by the society or church.

Also, what I meant is, alot of the stuff isn't really touching the real issues.


Because America is a secular state.


what's that referring to?




that doesn't count as anti-religous? I count it as such. and I find sex related comments very stupid.



see above,


the point is? nothing wrong with drugs?


I think that's kinda uncalled for .. a nice way to get people to not vote bush


how about just stop preaching evolution in schools?

Cmon man .. nothing about the Iraq issue? I mean, that's bush's weakest point right now, anybody can hammer him with that.



ok .. although republicans don't really think that way. That's about it?

Whoa, it's called a joke man.

Two words: "inflationary satire."

 

[Death.Trap]

what's that referring to?

Abortion.