US strategic plans for defense agains megamorphs (aka...cloverfield)

thank god these megamorphs only ever attack New York and Tokyo


sucks to be you!!! enjoy being stepped on


the US needs to hire Godzilla to stomp some megamorphs ass

mothra-9.jpg
 
They should just steal a tissue sample of Godzirra and clone their own version to defend Americay the way he defends Japan.
Simple.
 
Eejit said:
They should just steal a tissue sample of Godzirra and clone their own version to defend Americay the way he defends Japan.
Simple.
Click to expand...

but how will we implement "magical flames or something." to the clone?
 
His atomic breath surely fulfils the "or something" requirement.
 
Where's the original document online?

I guess it's bull, considering the last line:
v) Breeding and unleashing a similar-sized megamorph, although our one should have wings and breathe magical flames or something.
Click to expand...
 
lol at this other newspost from the site

So, Easter is rolling around yet again and, in the UK at least, it’s time to pass around a few chocolate eggs in celebration of Jesus faking his death for the purpose of some sort of tax evasion scandal. Bear in mind that Christians were Jews back then and, stereotypically speaking, those bloody Semites are a much harder bunch to swindle. Regardless, while we may enjoy stuffing our faces with sacrifical bunnies, in other parts of the world there are traditions far more entertaining.

Take the Czech Republic, for example. At Easter time, all the good, little Czech boys take long, slender sticks called pomlazka and use them to beat the asses of all the sweet and impressionable Czech girls. In return the boys get given chocolate or alcohol while the girls continue to be chased like bondage-whores at those parties I’m not invited to anymore because I get carried away and they’re fed up of covering for me.

If you’re laughing at those crazy Eastern Europeans and wondering what this has to do with the TRUE meaning of Easter, get a clue and then go **** yourself with an electrified crowbar. Chances are your own screwed-up country has tacked a bunch of dull, illogical Christian beliefs onto a far more sensible pagan ritual, and then sold its soul to consumerism. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I just want to hit little Czech girls with sticks.
Click to expand...
 
Obviously any attack by a megamorph would be met by a nuke

The leaked document is obviously a fake
“If tactical assault weaponary is incapable of pacifying the hostile megamorph, possible solutions are as follows [these reserve strategies are explained in more detail in the appendix] - i) Orchestrating a subterranean collapse beneath the hostile. ii) Spraying the hostile with cryogenic chemicals. iii) Attaching cables hooked to rockets that will blast the creature into space. iv) Employing the use of giant mirrors to confuse the creature into submission. v) Breeding and unleashing a similar-sized megamorph, although our one should have wings and breathe magical flames or something.”
Click to expand...
 
But... the internets are still trying to comprehend the British Earthquake!
 
How can you idiots think this is fake? It's obviously real, as it was stated at the start of the document. It's just obvious that we don't know what could happen in the future, so we are trying to prepare. Just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's fake.
 
CyberPitz said:
How can you idiots think this is fake? It's obviously real, as it was stated at the start of the document. It's just obvious that we don't know what could happen in the future, so we are trying to prepare. Just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's fake.
Click to expand...

Funny man.
 
It had me until iii) in the last paragraph :p
 
I ****ing knew giant monkeys would fling their shit at our plans to the moon of the sun's anal cavity called the colon of our gynecologist's paycheck seven days a week a month a year a wat.


Call in the got damn Hammerdown protocol, we have a lot of shit on our hands. It's from the monkeys, flinging their shit about.
 
CyberPitz said:
How can you idiots think this is fake? It's obviously real, as it was stated at the start of the document. It's just obvious that we don't know what could happen in the future, so we are trying to prepare. Just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's fake.
Click to expand...

I think Pitz is fake...
 
The Military prepares for everything. They still have plans for if Canada invades the US, or if Britain decides it wants to be an Empire again - they may never seriously think of using them, but they exist. You should probably note that WWII in the Pacific unfolded pretty much as US Military Intelligence had predicted.

This is still lol though.
 
do the USA have a plan against giant eye-laserbeams sexy lesbians?
 
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