Victorian Visitor

[Sulkdodds]

This is a thought experiment I wonder about far too often.

And this is Samuel Lockewood!

Spoiler

Sam, who you have the privilege of entertaining, was born in the year of our lord 1834 in the town of Birmingham in England to a Methodist minister; he grew up to work as a barrister in London, but now he finds himself mysteriously transported into the year 2009.

Since he's living in your house, you can't help but feel like some kind of ambassador for your era. You want to show this guy what amazing mad things we've come up with. So you connect up your MP3 player or your laptop to a great big pair of speakers. And you begin picking out some albums and some singles.

But just what are you going to play this guy? What are you going to show him -

- to introduce him to pop music
- to introduce him to music that somehow reflects the modern world
- to scare the shit out of him?
(more added if anyone has a good suggestion)

Choose at least one album or a song for each!

 

[Vegeta897]

I can barely choose an album/song to introduce my friends to the music I like.

Don't ****ing make me do this Sulk.

 

[Zephos]

- Veckatimest by Grizzly Bear (it's got this classical sense to it, wouldn't scare the chappy too much)
- OK Computer by Radiohead (mebs Kid A?)
- I don't know, maybe an Animal Collective album?

 

[MJ12]

- to introduce him to pop music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFAycZQsEMQ

to introduce him to music that somehow reflects the modern world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slKNd22GGaQ

 

[Captain M4d]

- Veckatimest by Grizzly Bear (it's got this classical sense to it, wouldn't scare the chappy too much)
- OK Computer by Radiohead (mebs Kid A?)
- I don't know, maybe an Animal Collective album?

For Animal Collective, I would choose Strawberry Jam. It's basically a horror movie in audio format.

 

[MJ12]

I am disappointed by the lack of participants in this thread.

 

[knut]

I would LOVE a blank, fresh-faced drone/slate for me to scrawl music over/to. Until eventually he'd become even more of a bigger fan of music than me, making me look inferior then I'd have to kill him.

The first thing I would introduce him to is the one ''metal'' album that took me six or seven years to discover. The one album that I had to find by going through years of bland and generic sounding metal bands to eventually find, so much so that for a period of my time in High School I foolishly turned my back on the entire genre, dismissing it as one like some silly ignorant fool who has heard little of one particular area of music... yes, I was once that stupid to do that. I do try these days to be as open minded as possible and avoid the words hate, I, genre and this.

I would show him this.

I listened to this album after a good amount of exposure to what I like to call bog-standard metal, or knuckledragger metal, bands such as Slayer and the like. It's a radical difference to go from thrashthrashthrashriffriffriff to droning atmospheric downbeat fuzzy distorted crushing and soaring instrumentation accompanied by some of the finest lyrics and song writin; even when the first listen of this album was such a strange and odd experience I could tell it was one the most well constructed albums I had ever heard, and it took me a good year or two to really get in to it.

All truths told, I would of liked to have come across this album long, long ago so that I could be where I am today... yesterday, or something. Looking back on some of the tripe I have listened to in High School it almost makes me sad I'm only just discovering the brink of bands like ISIS in the last 3/4 years. I would hope that introducing Samuel to what the thinking man has to make about metal instead of him sitting down in front of Kerrang and MTV for several years being force-fed the ''mandatory basics'' or becoming subject to what everyone thinks they know about metal because they've heard the popular radio songs, or seen the general census on the bigger bands, listened to them briefly, disliked and then judged the entire genre around these minor contributors.

I would feel the need to bypass all of this junk and show him the opposite end of what people perceive as metal first, just because I went through it the common way and that way ****ing sucks.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Zephos: the idea for this thread actually came for me while listening to OK Computer, so I think Radiohead would definitely be among my 'modern world' picks.

I would LOVE a blank, fresh-faced drone/slate for me to scrawl music over/to. Until eventually he'd become even more of a bigger fan of music than me, making me look inferior then I'd have to kill him.

Do you know, Doctor Jones, I believe we are not so very different. In fact, I believe you are like me. You are a music evangelist. When a piece of music is able to penetrate your body, as if to your heart, and wrap itself around your spine, you are seized by a marvellous force that condemns you to spread the word of its power and grace. If you are like me you relentlessly browbeat friends, colleagues, family, beggars on the street, leaving mix CDs in people's mailboxes and latching onto 'what are you listening to now' threads with tireless abandon. Worst of all is when somebody else converts you. In all religions the most recent converts, the former heathens, are the most zealous missionaries.

I should probably check out Isis, then. Metal might be the only genre about which I can almost bring myself to say "I hate this whole thing".

I listened to some Mr. Bungle recently and really liked it, does that count?

 

[knut]

Do you know, Doctor Jones, I believe we are not so very different. In fact, I believe you are like me. You are a music evangelist. When a piece of music is able to penetrate your body, as if to your heart, and wrap itself around your spine, you are seized by a marvellous force that condemns you to spread the word of its power and grace. If you are like me you relentlessly browbeat friends, colleagues, family, beggars on the street, leaving mix CDs in people's mailboxes and latching onto 'what are you listening to now' threads with tireless abandon. Worst of all is when somebody else converts you. In all religions the most recent converts, the former heathens, are the most zealous missionaries.

!

Yes. Yes. The truth and nothing but, that is what I am like. It's probably because I spent a good amount of my day with my laptop on so I'm always listening to music, and if you do for this too long you eventually run out of things to listen to so when I'm not working I'm searching, browsing and listening to new music and then all that magical stuff happens and I MUST tell everyone about this fantastic new album. Another side of the coin is that one of the ways of finding this music is by the browsing and the sitting and the doing nothing of all day and the... and I come across similiar posters exclaiming wildly about an album on some other forum which I listen to then spread the word to the small corner of the internet I inhabit.

You know what? I'm going to do it now because a) it's metal and b) they are from Brighton. Have you heard Fall of Efrafa? Nnnnghghghghgh! Crusty d-beat post-hardcore metal taking themes from the political infrastructure of the Watership Down books. SO ****ING GOOD. They have all of their albums up for free download on their website - three concept albums that run in order from last to first. I'm in love. If you can, check out the song ''The Warren Of Snares''

I should probably check out Isis, then. Metal might be the only genre about which I can almost bring myself to say "I hate this whole thing".

I listened to some Mr. Bungle recently and really liked it, does that count?

Most deff. check out ISIS. For the full listening experience I'd recommend an actual purchase of a release because they come accompanied by wonderful art and written passages that relate to the album, though often scarce and hazy in detail because Aaron Turner prefers the listener to make their own mind up. Still a fantastic read, though.

Mr. Bungle is also really cool, too. Was it California you listened to? Love that album. Never got as such into the others, but that release is phenomenal as much as it is downright ridiculous.

On the subject though mixtapes are ****ing cool-as. I wish it was bigger over here in the UK.

 

[Zephos]

For Animal Collective, I would choose Strawberry Jam. It's basically a horror movie in audio format.

And so very appropriately, it references Jack the Ripper.

 

[Stigmata]

- to introduce him to pop music
I don't know. I don't listen to a lot of pop music. Maybe... hmm. Hmm.

- to introduce him to music that somehow reflects the modern world
I would play him Rossz Csillag Alatt Szueletett by Venetian Snares. It's a fusion of classical themes and modern rhythms, though it would probably also scare the shit out of him.

- to scare the shit out of him?
The Mars Volta. Specifically, "Day of the Baphomets", "Tourniquet Man", and "Cavalettas".

I'd also preface every listening with, "Listen to it the way you would listen to new or experimental orchestral music of your time. Each piece will sound very unusual, but understand that there is beauty behind the noise, and that every sound is there for a reason."

 

[Laivasse]

After selecting a choice brandy for the discombobulated Samuel, and sitting him in a comfy armchair by the stove, I would line up the following for rotation upon the gramophonical device:

- to introduce him to pop music
What better to introduce pop music than something by the King of Pop? Michael Jackson's Bad (either track or album) would be a fine choice here. Should Samuel show signs of distaste, then I would have no compunctions about moving on with the show, but should he take a shine to it then at least I could use the album as a catalyst to ruminate nostalgically over my childhood, without having my bilious humours aggravated overly by the repugnance of lesser pop.

- to introduce him to music that somehow reflects the modern world
...Pop music, I would say to Samuel, derives its name from its 'popularity'. It is all too easy for the composer of such 'pop' to set out to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Indeed, even when such music may chance upon a highest common denominator, such as with that of the late, great, gradually-becoming-less-Blacko Jacko, it is still limited by its reluctance to probe the shadowy, uncharted niches of listening experience. Should we hope for such esotericism in our music, Samuel, I'd say, we would have to expose ourselves to compositions which upon first sampling may seem positively unpalatable!

It is with this caveat for Samuel that I would reflect on the modern world by playing Evanescent Judgement of the Last Era by Axis of Advance. This first track of a concept album set in the far future nevertheless describes all the savagery and sadness of our modern human world, while at once outlining the global political situation of the time frame that Samuel has landed himself in.

'The new land to the west, the old world in the centre
And the eastern plane: three incompatible societies
...
The world saw unprecedented growth
In the east, mistrusting and scared men picked up their arms'

Now there is every chance that Samuel might cough and splutter brandy everywhere, or at least mutter a scandalised 'Good Lord...!' between sips, due to the unprecedented, ostensible barbarism of the vocal and percussive assault. He might wait a couple of minutes out of politeness, before piping up 'I say, that 'Man in the Shaving Mirror' was an intriguing piece, I wouldn't mind listening to that again instead of this... er, more challenging ejaculation'. As much as I would like to evangelise to and convert Samuel, like a missionary unto a savage, his tympanic membranes should perhaps be sheltered from aural intricacy after such a traumatic temporal displacement as he has had. Therefore, in that case I would instead use some Kate Nash or Lily Allen to brief him on modern values, considering his burgeoning pop predeliction.

If he were to listen all the way to the end of Evanescent Judgement of the Last Era, however, I would grant him an immediate refill.

IF... if he were to ask me: 'Could we perhaps listen to the rest of this album...?' ...then, then maybe I'd... smile at Samuel, compliment him on his magnificent mutton chops. I would hold him fast under a hot, penetrative gaze, and ask questions calculated to discover whether he had been repressing any socially unacceptable desires, back in those insensitive times and with that pious parentage. Who knows where the night may take us.

- to scare the shit out of him?
After having exposed Samuel to militant Canadian blackened death metal, it would be hard to frighten Samuel with simple sonic extremity. I would have to employ alternative tactics. Once the last song had died away, I would ignore any of Samuel's questions, allowing the room to descend into brooding silence. With glazed eyes I would slowly crush the glass in my hand while Samuel watches in horror. Then I would turn to look straight at him all of a sudden, and shove the oil lamp off the table, plunging the room into black dark. Then I would hastily vacate the house before Samuel could recover his composure, but not before starting Pokerface on the stereo at full volume. Samuel, after hearing the front door slam and get double-locked, would likewise find that I had double-locked all the other exits to the house, wherein he would be trapped with the ululations of Lady Gaga. I doubt he would be able to manipulate the stereo in order to turn it off in pitch darkness, considering his technological naivete.

Hiw only means of escape would be through one of the windows. But outside, he would find me - naked in the rain, but made up to look like Satan, and holding a pitchfork. (Note: if I couldn't find a pitchfork, I would fashion a trident and appear as Neptune).

I don't know where I'm going with this. This turned into a much longer post than I'd anticipated. I probably would just make him some cheese on toast and not scare him.