"Wanderlust"-set in Dr freemans after-arrively

Norn

Norn

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chapter 1. "trailing into the unknown"


The sun warm the plains of the wet mossy forest of eikon, the people went on they're duties of recovery of the worst storm they have ever recived.

"we can no longer deny it!! They are coming!! The darkness comes!! We're doom to fail!!"

The crazy olden yelled about, too wealthy and well dress to be called for attion.

"I ask you once as I remind you twice!! Eikon is fine!!"

"No it's not! the storms are singling us! Telling of the ones who will suck are lives to nothing!! The skeltons of the children are chains for the omens!! LISTEN TO ME!!"

everyone booed at the poor soul for the boredom. Everyone return to they're cleaning but one. A girl that looked about the age of 18 stood by pondering of what the man preach of the sudden storms that are happening for some reason.

"Traveling through portals! taking another plain as they're own!!! the planet will tips and all will fall!!"
 
Please add Capital letters and spell properly.
 
Jintor, the planet will tips.

And all will fall!
 
I am too well dress to give this story any attion.
 
Skeleton children.
Chains for omens.

Right on, bro.
 
"Traveling through portals! taking another plain as they're own!!! the planet will tips and all will fall!!"
"No, crazy olden, you are the portals."
And then the girl had cake.
 
Norn said:
chapter 1. "trailing into the unknown"
The sun warmed the plains of the wet mossy forest of Eikon as the people recovered from the worst storm they had ever received.

"We can no longer deny it! They are coming! The darkness comes! We're doomed to fail!"

The crazy old man yelled about, too wealthy and well dressed to be called for attention.

"I ask you once as I remind you twice! Eikon is fine!"

"No it's not! The storms are singling us! Telling of the ones who will suck are lives to nothing! The skeletons of the children are chains for the omens! LISTEN TO ME!"

Everyone booed at the poor soul. He was boring. Everyone returned to their cleaning but one- a girl that looked about the age of 18 stood by pondering what the man had preached.

"Traveling through portals! Taking another planet as their own! The planet will tips and all will fall!"
Click to expand...

I think I am going to kill myself the next time I see an exclamation mark.
 
The more I read this, the more I need more of it.
 
The man cried for 5 days and 6 nights, exhaustion tired poor old soul to rest in his bed for the night knowing the answers but couldn't let them out any further with burnt vocals.

"We will die. We will all die. They refused to listen the temple is built to serve them. May we die in vain and not in pain."

As the day dawn once again to greet the people of icon preparing for they're grand holiday "Euring" everyone decorated the village with gold and green colors that represented the goddess and god for the season for bounty with love as many decorated the houses others attended to they're praying for the holy holiday.

"Give thanks to the mighty beings that bring us life and death from the dish of the sap of roots we hold in the nerve endings of of all of us."

"mote it be"

"Kneel with them, stand with them and smile with them."

"We are in they're crowns"

"Shout they're names let them hear are cries of pain,modem and happiness that we all share."

"Deny and Duo, the mother and father of lentils,seeds and warmth"

"We light the fire lords so you may find us in the mist the of your heavens. Give the dead the light pass the torch to us so may share the light with are children and parents."

"Cradle it and lull it to sleep"
 
Elisa sat outside the temple hearing praise to the gods as smells of bakery filled the air making everything taste sweet as the cane being beaten on the sticks of the olden women of the village in weaved buckets for the ceremony Her friend jasper was fiddling with his pet bird that sat upon his shoulder.

"Think that old man is right about the storms?"

"Don't believe in that nonsense of some *invaders* taking the world and using it for they're own benefit. Everyone knows the gods won't let it happen."

"What if it's out of the lords hands? There has been awful killings and robbery's that have been carried out without punishment. It could happen"

"Maybe, but we can't think of that now. The ceremony is going to start. I want to eat allot of fire pies!!"
 
This is gold.

Full-Life Consequences Gold.
 
I swear, one more thread without respect for grammar, And I'm gonig to go crazy like darkseid did with the Gman theories.
 
Look I don't have good grammar skills!! I don't have word perfect where it can help you put a dot on the end or anything!! I've tried my best to not respond to rude people like all of you boorish rubes!!

I don't get it how half life gamers can be such picky,Id-ridden,assholes.

I can no longer go with this story because of people who are impulse to be nothing but punks!

your welcome!! now you don't have to have to torture yourself reading my story anymore I'm done!!!
 
If you don't have good grammar skills, then improve, and then write the story! It's basics, man! If I don't have good athletics skills, I don't go out and run marathons! If I don't have good cooking skills, I don't go out and cook feasts for kings! If you don't want us to criticise your work, then tell us, or don't post it! Prickly, ID-ridden assholes? We're telling it like it is. Your story is horrible, it's written horribly, and there is no Half-Life 2 feel, there is no atmosphere, there is barely any progression beyond "Event one occured, and then event two occured, and then event three occured", your dialogue is total shit, and it's simply not readable.

I understand that if English is not your native language then it may be hard to write a story in English, but then ask someone to translate it well from the original writing or something, because writing in a language you don't fully understand is a surefire way to failure.
 
The story is about a girl who once lived in a world that was peaceful.

The combined found her planet and killed her whole village but spared her life. They erased her mind of memory of her homeworld,family and who she was.

She was tranported to planet earth to live among humans not knowing she wasn't human..

It was something that aliens did in the book "Cyoden" Of experimenting on aliens from other worlds and send them to another...

in the end she finds out who she was and joins the rebals to fight against the combined.


I'm american you assholes!!! I live in The us and speak english!! so Up yours!!
 
And yet you can't spell? You cannot use proper grammar, or write a coherent story? If I cannot understand the story then it is the fault of the storyteller, not of the audience.
 
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