ways to tick off telemarketers

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john121

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Just thought this would be a funny thread to start. Here are some ideas to get some thoughts rumbling...

1. repeat everything they say in the form of a question. (we have some new offers from MCI.. "you really have spankin new offers from MCI?" yeah.. um they're only 10 dollars more" "only ten dollars more?? wow!!!"

2. act as if it's a friend playing a joke on you (come on, ronny, this is a joke isn't it? you can stop with the acting man seriously)

3. tell them you really have to go to the bathroom and it won't take but a few minutes, then just go watch a TV show and leave them on for an hour.

4. tell them you're busy but if they could give you their home number you'll promise to call back around 8 or 9 pm to buy their product.

5. tell them to hold on a sec while you give the hooker her money and to get your clothes back on.
 
8. Repeatedly say "Hello?" as if there's nobody there :D
 
Hehe, yeah..

A good one would be -

"Do I want what? How about you **** off, go home, and seriously think your life through." :| That's what I would want to say anyway :p
 
"Hi! This is Susan from Australian Escapes."
"Hi Susan! It seems like you escaped!"

Or you can just pretend to be serious about the product... and ask important questions on warranty, quality, etc... then after 15 minutes of questions, say, "Sorry, I don't buy products over the phone." <Hang up>
 
Ask in a very dark voice.

"Do you like Scary Movies?"
 
10. Sorry, not interested, bye.

No need to get all witty and smart with them, just doing their (awful) job.
 
No what you do is ask a lot of serious questions. Then ask if there is some sort of promotion if you buy two. Then what about if you buy 3 or 4. Say wow that sounds like a really good deal. Then just when it seems like the deal is sinched, yell "MOOMMM, can we buy some magazine subscriptions??" or whatever product they are selling
 
Answer the phone and say "Telephone Solicitation Complaint line, this is Mike. How may I help you?"

It works best if you have Caller ID.
 
I particularly like asking them when their shift ends, then ask them to call you back 5 mins before that time, then keep them on the phone for an hour then don't buy anything...

Or pretend you have torretes syndrome.

Tell them you are working for their company and congratulate them on selling the product well, as you were checking on them.

If you can do an accent do a really good one thats hard to understand, i do a swiss accent "hello pleashe!" :LOL:

Oh and off topic, my home number is similar to a local cab firm so i get constant wrong numbers asking for cabs, they say 'can i have a cab' i say 'sure where to? :p' I dont even ask for their home address lol, i musta ruined so many people's days.
 
Although I do occasionally feel sorry for them I don't think "they're just doing their job" is a decent excuse. It's intensely irritating.

The counter script is similar to an approach that I've taken in the past- as if you're harvesting information yourself, something I've reserved for the more persistant offenders, particularily outsourced Indian corporations wanting me to change my phone provider.

Another scenario involved me bringing up fictional Data Protection Act laws: "Yes, that's brilliant. Tell me, does your supervisor correctly enforce segment 3A of the DPA, allowing you to use your discretion with difficult customers, or are you a) forced to continue regardless or b) expected to immediately cancel the sale attempt?" :naughty:
 
My Uncle just says "Yes, I am interested. Let me turn the TV down." and he just puts the phone down on the table and never picks it up again while the telemarketer guy was just sitting there waiting.
 
I'd give them a break really...

Either they're Indian, and probably earning less money in a year than I make in interest. Or they're just some average person, trying to make some money. I know what its like dealing with people as part of a job, and its terrible how you get treated. In fact, my brother used to work for British gas in one of the call centres. All he did, was ring people up and tell them they were overdue on their payments. Some of the crap he got was just wrong...

If you're going to be annoyed at anyone, get annoyed at the people who train the marketers, or the people that run the operations.
 
I accidently almost bought a mobile phone from some indian guy when I was 11-12


:eek:
 
nick_t said:
11. Pretend you called them and order a pizza!
Click to expand...

"Hello"

"Greetings Sir! Would you by any chance be interested in the special offers we have for you today?"

"No, not today. I have my mind made up."

"What? Oh, alright then"

"Okay. I would like to order a large double pepperoni with sausage, a medium cheese lovers and a side of breadsticks."

"What?"

"Do I need to repeat it? I'll say it a little more slowly this time. One large double ---"

"No, sir. Would you like to hear some of the great offers we have for you on fantastic magazines? You can get a twelve month subscription for only 5.95! We offer every major magazine, including Time, Life, and ---"

"No magazines, thank you. All i'm interested in today is the pizza. How much will that be? Are you ready for my credit card number and address?"

"<exasperated sigh>"

"This will be a delivery for 742 Evergreen Terrace. My credit card number is 5436 ---"

"<click>"

"Hello? Hello? Damn."
 
Ugh I was just thinking actually, and we've been getting more and more of those automated calls recently. Now they really do annoying.
 
i used to get pissed off at tellemarketers until my girlfriend needed a job and thats the only one she could find. you need to realize that they're people just like you and me who need cash. i cant imagine what kinds of mean things people say to her, because every job ive had till now i would run into jackasses on a daily basis. i couldnt deal with having to call them everyday.

noone likes them but there are easier solutions. put yourself on a do not call list and tell them youre uninterested, theyll appreciate it.
 
Zeus said:
speak in gibberish
Click to expand...

Or in another language if you know more than one. You could also bring your phone up to your pc speakers and talk to them using a sound-board.
 
best answer ever:

"what are you wearing?" (breathing heavily)

the counterscript also rocks.
 
If it's a telemarketer for life insurance, say that you are going to buy a policy only if you can go outside right now and kill yourself, then have your family collect the money.

Say that the product they are selling killed a family member

Fart into the phone, a lot

Masturbate

Yell really loud so they can hardly make out what you're saying

Fake hangup

Take a #1/#2 while still on the phone
 
I'm not rude to telemarketers. I used to be, until I was one for awhile, and saw what it was like. If one calls me, I just tell them I'm not interested, right away. If they persist I tell them I'm not interested again, say goodbye, and hang up. Going out of your way to be a dick is.. well, being a dick. They have a shitty job and they don't need you making it shittier.
 
Raziaar said:
"Hello"

"Greetings Sir! Would you by any chance be interested in the special offers we have for you today?"

"No, not today. I have my mind made up."

"What? Oh, alright then"

"Okay. I would like to order a large double pepperoni with sausage, a medium cheese lovers and a side of breadsticks."

"What?"

"Do I need to repeat it? I'll say it a little more slowly this time. One large double ---"

"No, sir. Would you like to hear some of the great offers we have for you on fantastic magazines? You can get a twelve month subscription for only 5.95! We offer every major magazine, including Time, Life, and ---"

"No magazines, thank you. All i'm interested in today is the pizza. How much will that be? Are you ready for my credit card number and address?"

"<exasperated sigh>"

"This will be a delivery for 742 Evergreen Terrace. My credit card number is 5436 ---"

"<click>"

"Hello? Hello? Damn."
Click to expand...

lol that's right
 
"No thanks" and hang up.

Or you can verbally abuse them......whatever floats you boat :monkee:
 
They have a shitty job? So did I, but if I partake in an activity that makes the vast majority of the population feel uneasy I wouldn't expect any sympathy.

I say "No thanks, I'm not interested," it's just that certain establishments don't take that as a hint. I've tried speaking to an Indian office's supervisor, by the way- turned out that he spoke far worse English than his perfectly coherent underling :sleep: My current nemesis lies constantly, claiming they're a sub-section of BT (when British Telecom have repeatedly told me they have nothing to do with them). Mostly, I wonder how the hell they got my number, since I'm x-directory.

That said, most of the buggers are actually quite polite and respect your decision to ignore them, but there's nothing quite as bad as a pushy telemarketer.
 
In Ireland we have an advantage. Due to some law in Ireland if you speak to them in Irish they have to respond in Irish. This is useful as most people forget their Irish when they leave school
"I here to tell you about some great deals"
"Cad atá tu?" (How are you?)
"I'm sorry what?"
"Nil duirt tu Gaeilge?" (Don't you speak Irish)
"What are you saying"
"Under the Official Language Act if I want to talk to you in Irish you must talk to me in Irish"
"You're making that up"
"Nil mé!" (I'm not)
*he hangs up*
 
Ranga said:
"Hi! This is Susan from Australian Escapes."
"Hi Susan! It seems like you escaped!"

Or you can just pretend to be serious about the product... and ask important questions on warranty, quality, etc... then after 15 minutes of questions, say, "Sorry, I don't buy products over the phone." <Hang up>
Click to expand...
my friend did that for 45 minutes, after he told the guy "Actually I'm under 18 and my parents arent home." Click.
 
I'd say try and keep the call going for as long as poss without them actually selling you anything! The only way their company loses money through the phone bill.
 
I just say "no thankyou" and put the phone down, when you go out of your way to abuse them, you're just a jackass.
 
Razor said:
I just say "no thankyou" and put the phone down, when you go out of your way to abuse them, you're just a jackass.
Click to expand...
QFT.

We're on the "NO TELEMARKETERS" register, so whenever they ring us now we just threaten legal action and hang up ... after a few months of that, we get literally one call a year now, if that.
 
They stopped calling when i started hitting on them.

ALL of them.

;(
 
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