Why my 5 year old daughter is better than all of you

[Zunni]

She know who GLaDOS is, and she draws me weighted companion cubes for my desk at work. She knows some of the words to "Still Alive", and certainly recognizes the tune. She even says things like "The computer is lying to you daddy, don't listen" when I play the game.

The coup de gras though was tonight when she asked me if Chell had a mommy and a daddy. I said that she probably did but we never meet them in the game. She then says, 'maybe if they make another portal game, they could have her try to rescue her family from being captured by that place she was in'..

I hope Valve is reading this and sends the residual checks to her legal guardian (she is 5 after all).

See we don't need complicated story lines trying to tie together parallel universes and characters. Sometimes the simplest answers are the best!

 

[_Z_Ryuken]

Are you implying I don't do all that stuff? 'Cuz ya know, I might.

 

[PimpinPenguin]

Awwww she sounds so cute.

 

[Narvi]

This "five year old" creature is smarter than me.

...

 

[Qhartb]

She must be a hit at "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" (which, incidentally, is the perfect opportunity to have her tested).

 

[kineaesth]

She must be a hit at "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" (which, incidentally, is the perfect opportunity to have her tested).

the perfect opportunity to have her tested.

have her tested.

Do it now.

 

[Kdizzle]

lol n00b. shesounds cool tho

 

[Sneaki]

Ask her if the cake is a lie.

 

[$kelet0r]

I'm too manly to be affected by this overload of cute







:|

Aww who I am kidding - so cute

 

[Antlion guards]

Ask her if the cake is a lie.

hahahahahaha

 

[nurizeko]

She know who GLaDOS is, and she draws me weighted companion cubes for my desk at work. She knows some of the words to "Still Alive", and certainly recognizes the tune. She even says things like "The computer is lying to you daddy, don't listen" when I play the game.

The coup de gras though was tonight when she asked me if Chell had a mommy and a daddy. I said that she probably did but we never meet them in the game. She then says, 'maybe if they make another portal game, they could have her try to rescue her family from being captured by that place she was in'..

I hope Valve is reading this and sends the residual checks to her legal guardian (she is 5 after all).

See we don't need complicated story lines trying to tie together parallel universes and characters. Sometimes the simplest answers are the best!

I thought your daughter might have actually done something worthy of this thread.

All she is is a proto-geek.

I wonder where she gets it from?....

*Eyes Zunni*

 

[z0mbin3]

I know who GLaDOS is.
I know all of the words to Still Alive.
I know GLaDOS is lieing to me.

Just because you five year old know's basic information about a game doesn't make her better then everyone else that plays said game.

This is ether a really bad joke topic or this parent has a serious case of "My kid's the greatest f***** here and you'd all die with out him/her!". wether it be the former or the ladder it fails.

 

[Kdizzle]

I know who GLaDOS is.
I know all of the words to Still Alive.
I know GLaDOS is lieing to me.

Just because you five year old know's basic information about a game doesn't make her better then everyone else that plays said game.

This is ether a really bad joke topic or this parent has a serious case of "My kid's the greatest f***** here and you'd all die with out him/her!". wether it be the former or the ladder it fails.

stfu n00bsauce!

jk lol the cake is a lie is still funny.

 

[Dekstar]

I know who GLaDOS is.
I know all of the words to Still Alive.
I know GLaDOS is lieing to me.

Just because you five year old know's basic information about a game doesn't make her better then everyone else that plays said game.

This is ether a really bad joke topic or this parent has a serious case of "My kid's the greatest f***** here and you'd all die with out him/her!". wether it be the former or the ladder it fails.

No, his five year old daughter is better than you because she spells latter correctly.

 

[Omnomnick]

How is she better than us...

I don't see her posting on this forum, do you?

 

[$kelet0r]

How is she better than us...

I don't see her posting on this forum, do you?

doesn't that make her better than all of us by default?

 

[Xendance]

I know who GLaDOS is.
I know all of the words to Still Alive.
I know GLaDOS is lieing to me.

Just because you five year old know's basic information about a game doesn't make her better then everyone else that plays said game.

This is ether a really bad joke topic or this parent has a serious case of "My kid's the greatest f***** here and you'd all die with out him/her!". wether it be the former or the ladder it fails.

Wow, why don't you chill out?

 

[z0mbin3]

How the hell do you know? (f****** grammar cops)

 

[Eejit]

Yeah, next time you pick her up from school or whatever tell her there's cake waiting at home, then tell us how she reacts

 

[Omnomnick]

doesn't that make her better than all of us by default?

Oh haha, very funny :hmph:

 

[Emporius]

There is a surprising amount of hatred towards this innocent (and apparently highly skilled story developer) child in this thread. I cannot wait until I have kids, and I hope they are as fun and engaging as yours Zunni.

 

[FrostXian]

Sir, uh..
Coming between a few hundred jackasses (myself included) hidden with anonmyosity and then stating your 5 year old daughter is smarter than them, indicates she indeed IS smarter than you are, too.
Well, she is pretty smart. Keep her that way.

 

[Iron_cube]

Don't give her a cake for her birthday.

She'll become insane.

 

[McCoy]

How is she better than us...

I don't see her posting on this forum, do you?

Maybe that is her. :|

Oh, and if she's better than us, take her to 4chan.org


Oh yes I did.

 

[FrostXian]

Maybe that is her. :|

Oh, and if she's better than us, take her to 4chan.org


Oh yes I did.

Oh sh-

 

[AJ Rimmer]

That's neat.


...I bet I could beat her in hand-to-hand combat though.

 

[Laivasse]

lol, you know you're on a video games forum when an OP like this doesn't get replies like 'aw, sounds cute', but instead gets worried people shouting 'she's not better than ME!'

 

[yakuruto]

Hmm, she's a 5 year old girl...
Dunno if she's better than me or not, but I grant you one thing, she's definitely cuter than me.

but personally, I don't like her suggestion for a Portal sequel plot line... if she's that good she should have realized that Chell parents are probably dead by now.

 

[McCoy]

We'll have to test your child with a Portal gun at Aperture Sci. Labs OP. Then we'll see.

Can she put her fist...

IN HER MOUTH!?

If she can then :'(

 

[Narvi]

Well, tell her that her mom and I did stuff together last night.

Oh shi-

*is beaten up by Zunni*

 

[Druckles]

I know who GLaDOS is.
I know all of the words to Still Alive.
I know GLaDOS is lieing to me.

And this makes you awesome? She's 5, we care. You're not, we don't. You're expected to know this.

Just because you five year old know's basic information about a game doesn't make her better then everyone else that plays said game.

Except the fact that she's five.

There's an incredible amount of hostility coming from people who seem to be offended by some father's claim that his 5 year old daughter is better than you. So? She's five. Of course she's better than you.

This is ether a really bad joke topic or this parent has a serious case of "My kid's the greatest f***** here and you'd all die with out him/her!". wether it be the former or the ladder it fails.

I don't recall any ladders in Portal.

 

[Naph]

Bawwwwwww ^__^

 

[Sulkdodds]

This is amazing.

How the hell do you know? (f****** grammar cops)

Stop being a wanker.

 

[Zunni]

So... I was sitting around my house the other night and seeing that this forum is pretty dead I thought it might be cool to share with people how accessible the game of Portal is. Enough so my 5 year old daughter understands it and plays it. Even expanding on the basic idea by providing a simple, effective and logical potential suggestion for a sequel.

I read this forum and see all the complicated theories, ideas and story-lines that people want to push on this game.

However, the mistake I made was in assuming people could take a joke of a topic title.

Guess I was wrong.

It's amazing how sensitive people are when someone randomly and with no proof questions their video game prowess. Hopefully those that got all bent out of shape are still young and will realize that once you grow up and get into the real world, your K : D ratio at CS isn't going to make you popular or cool. (Though high character levels in WoW are uber-important, mad grinding skillz too)

TO those who got the point of the message, that she's 5 and 'gets' Portal.. Thanks!

Anyway, back to the silence occasionally broke up by bad topics in here...

 

[Druckles]

You might want to explore elsewhere if you're looking for a busy forum. We have really busy times in here when games come out, and Portal has past its peak already. If you want somewhere with more activity go into the lounge. Or wait until Episode Three comes out, we'll get another burst then.

 

[Vegeta897]

She even says things like "The computer is lying to you daddy, don't listen" when I play the game.

I lost it here...

TOO.

CUTE.

 

[Krynn72]

You should get a voice emulator and record yourself saying shes going to have lots of cake. Then play it back in the GLaDOS voice on your daughter's birthday.

 

[Vegeta897]

lol at everyone treating her like an animal

"do this and she was she does!"

"then document it and conclude a thesis!"

 

[_Z_Ryuken]

When I was 5 I got Portal.

Besides, my CS k:d is SOOOOO high it actually makes me cooler.

 

[Jintor]

So... I was sitting around my house the other night and seeing that this forum is pretty dead I thought it might be cool to share with people how accessible the game of Portal is. Enough so my 5 year old daughter understands it and plays it. Even expanding on the basic idea by providing a simple, effective and logical potential suggestion for a sequel.

I read this forum and see all the complicated theories, ideas and story-lines that people want to push on this game.

However, the mistake I made was in assuming people could take a joke of a topic title.

Guess I was wrong.

It's amazing how sensitive people are when someone randomly and with no proof questions their video game prowess. Hopefully those that got all bent out of shape are still young and will realize that once you grow up and get into the real world, your K : D ratio at CS isn't going to make you popular or cool. (Though high character levels in WoW are uber-important, mad grinding skillz too)

TO those who got the point of the message, that she's 5 and 'gets' Portal.. Thanks!

Anyway, back to the silence occasionally broke up by bad topics in here...

Pure gold!