Write your own lyrics thread

[Tollbooth Willie]

Replace your favorite song lyrics with your own words.

First part of Survivalism by NIN. Now with more asshole blowouts.

I should have listened to her
So hard to keep control.
I kept on eating but my colon is so ****ing full.
She gave me all she had, now I have to reach the bowl.
Can't seem to hold it in I'm about to blow out my asshole.

 

[Stigmata]

rofl

Here's mine, from a chat with Willeh [edit: for those who don't like NIN, know that the verse is unchanged ]:

Bow down in position
Against the polished heel
This is something different
You'll like the way this feels
We're gonna play a new game
You'll put on this blindfold
You'll do what we tell you
You'll do as you're told
Used to be the leader but
Now comes the time to serve
Maybe we show some mercy
Maybe you get what you deserve

My cock in your end
Gonna make me come faster
Don't turn or it'll bend
And that'd be a disaster
My cock in your end
And i'm gonna thrust faster
Told you this was gonna hurt
I'm rapin you in the ass, sir

You've left quite a mess here
Seems you found fun in this
You thought you'd been a good boy but
You really hurt my dick
Might take some more raping
Till you learn what to do
There are so many things that
We've got in store for you

My cock in your end
Gonna make me come faster
Don't turn or it'll bend
And that'd be a disaster
My cock in your end
And i'm gonna thrust faster
Told you this was gonna hurt
I'm rapin you in the ass, sir

 

[MorganFreeman911]

WOW Stiggy, that's ****ing epic.

Sigged.

Viagra control to major tom
Viagra control to major tom
Take your viagra pills and put your condom on

Viagra control to major tom
Commencing unzipping, pants go down
Check semen levels, and may cocks love be with you

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
Four, three, two, one, Eeeeinf.

This is viagra control to major tom
You've really made the babies
And the papers want to know whose daughters you f*ck
Now its time to leave the condom if you spurt

This is major tom to viagra control
I' comeing through the hole
And I'm f*cking in a most peculiar way
And the assholes look very different today

For here
Am I shitting on a porcelain can
Far above the shit
Planet earth is blue
And theres no one I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand comes
I'm feeling very horny
And I think my willie knows which way to go
Tell me wife I love her ass much she knows

viagra control to major tom
Your cock is dead, theres something wrong
Can you hear me, major tom?
Can you hear me, major tom?
Can you hear me, major tom?
Can you....

Here am I f*cking round my porcelain can
Far above the toilette
Planet earth is blue
And theres no one I can do.

EDIT: Is this just a ripoff of the Make your own rap thread, Willeh?

 

[Stigmata]

Wow, equally epic D:

 

[MorganFreeman911]

And mine's an ENTIRE song.

It's a God awful small penis
To the girl with the come filled hair,
But her mummy is yelling, "Oh!"
And her daddy has told her to blow,
But her friend is no where to be seen.
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seats with the clearest stains
And she's hooked to the plastic cock,
But the film is horny-ing bore
For she's f*cked it ten times or more.
She could come in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on

Sailors
****ing in the dance hall.
Oh man!
Look at those gay men go.
It's the horniest show.
Take a look at the lawman
blowing the wrong guy.
Oh man!
Wonder if he'll ever come
He is the best selling hoe.
Is there life on Mars?

It's on America's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a hoe.
Now the workers have struck for gay
'Cause Gays are on sale again.
See the mice and their million cocks
From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads.
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, her cock, and clowns,
But the film is a horny-ing bore
'Cause I f*cked it ten times or more.
It's about to be f*cked again
As I ask you to come on

Sailors
F*cking in the dance hall.
Oh man!
Look at those gay men go.
It's the horniest show.
Take a look at the gay man
blowing the wrong guy.
Oh man!
Wonder if he'll ever know
He is the best selling hoe.
Is there life on Mars?

Wow this died fast.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

No, it's more of a bastard child.

 

[MorganFreeman911]

I see.

 

[Stigmata]

It's not dead, it's just 2 in the morning. Nobody's ever on HL2.net at this hour

 

[Danimal]

Here's a challenge, write something that isn't gay sex!

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Counter - Strikified version of Disturbed's Ten Thousand Fists.

No survivors!
No survivors!

One more God damn match
When I know what I want
And my want will be to kill noobs tonight RAH! RAH!
To kill noobs tonight RAH! RAH!
Just another round
When all the players
Will mark me as a hacker tonight RAH! RAH!
I'm a hacker tonight, yeah!

Noobs can no longer cover their ass
If this annoys you then just disconnect
You will remember the night you were owned by the sight of
Ten thousand rounds in your skull!!

Trigger finger unrestrained
Dead on the shot
Is what we will deliver tonight RAH! RAH!
Deliver tonight RAH! RAH!
Aim hacks fused with spraying
This triumph of the team
Will make you bitch and moan tonight RAH! RAH!
We'll make you bitch and moan tonight, yeah!

Admins can no longer VAC secure their servers!
If this annoys you then ban my ass
You will remember the night you were owned by the sight of
Ten thousand rounds in your skull!!

We are the ones that will own the server!
Leave the weak and the noobish behind!
We are the ones that will own the server!
Leave the weak and the noobish behind!
We are the ones that will own the server!
Leave the weak and the noobish behind!
We are the ones that will own the server!
Leave the weak and the noobish behind!

Admins can no longer VAC secure their servers!
If this annoys you then ban my ass
You will remember the night you were owned by the sight of
Ten thousand rounds in your skull!!


Ten thousand rounds in your skull!!
Ten thousand rounds in your skull!!

 

[Stigmata]

Here's a challenge, write something that isn't gay sex!

Ission Maccomplished.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Here's a challenge, write something that isn't gay sex!

Fission Maccomplished, anything else you wanna throw out there?

 

[lePobz]

I once had a good idea for a compilation CD of remixed oldskool nursery rhymes, but decided to halt production due to serious political uncorrectness. This is far as I got.

1. The muslims on the bus go BANG BANG BANG

2. If you're happy and you know it, suck my ****

3. The sun has got his freak on

 

[MorganFreeman911]

I'm gonna CPR this Mothaf*cka

[Repeat x2]
My Pokemans bring all the nerds to the yard,
And their like
You wanna trade cards?
Damn right I wanna trade cards,
I?d trade you
But I won?t trade my Charizard

I know you want it,
The thing that makes me,
What the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
The way I play,
I think its time

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Play it up.
Lala-lalala,
The Pokemans are waiting

My Pokemans bring all the nerds to the yard,
And their like
You wanna trade cards?
Damn right I wanna trade cards,
I?d trade you,
But I won?t trade my charizard

I can see you?re on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that freaks these boys,
It can't be bought,
Just know, Pokemans get caught,
Watch if your smart,

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Play it up,
La la-la la la,
The Pokemans are waiting,

My Pokemans brings all the nerds to the yard,
And their like
Hey wanna trade cards
Damn right I wanna trade cards
I?d trade you
But I won?t trade my Charizard

Oh, once you get in battle,
Everyone will look this way-so,
You must maintain your charm,
Same time maintain your Pokemans,
Just get the perfect deck,
Plus what you have in the pile,
Then next his eyes are squint,
Then he's picked up your strategy,

[Chorus x2]
Lala-lalala,
Play it up,
Lala-lalala,
The Pokemans are waiting,

My Pokemans brings all the nerds to the yard,
And their like
Hey wanna trade cards
Damn right I wanna trade cards,
I?d trade you
But I won?t trade my charizard

 

[Danimal]

Meh, I heard that a year ago.

Somewhat unoriginal now. D:

 

[MorganFreeman911]

Vaat?

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Oh shit.