Yesterday, somebody bought 241,000 tonnes of cocoa beans

[Shakermaker]

No seriously:

The purchase was enough to move the entire global cocoa market, sending the price to the highest level since 1977, and triggering rumours and intrigue in the City. It is unclear which person, or group of traders, was behind the deal, but it was the largest single cocoa trade for 14 years.

The cocoa beans, which are sitting in warehouses either in The Netherlands, Hamburg, or closer to home in London, Liverpool or Humberside is equivalent to the entire supply of the commodity in Europe, and would fill more than five Titanics. They are worth £658 million.

Source

Most likely it is a group investors trying to corner the market. Either that or someone who really likes his or her chocolate.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

Another drunken mistaken trade that rocks the market?

 

[Raziaar]

At last, the mountain of chocolate is a step closer to reality!

 

[YROC]

I want to swim in the beans. ;_;

 

[Raziaar]

I want to swim in the beans. ;_;

How about a swimming pool full of body temperature cocoa butter?

 

[YROC]

The warmth, OHHH THE WARMTH

 

[Dynasty]

Quite a smart move actually. Take away the majority of the supply and you control the price.

Good way to make the monies.

Reminds me of WoW when guilds would buy-out really popular items on the Auction House and then resell them at higher prices to make some profit. Or just for a laugh. Same in Eve Online.

 

[<RJMC>]

so how many illegal working kids died in the process?

 

[xombine]

Not nearly enough.

 

[Felix]

That must've bean a big decision, I bet they have a warehouse choc full of them all.

 

[Felix]

Looking back on that post, I was milking it.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

I laughed.

 

[Warped]

I wonder if some will be donated to children in need of chocolate: aka every fat kid in America

....sigh

 

[<RJMC>]

I think this is apropiate for the thread

http://www.cracked.com/article_18616_5-bitter-truths-about-chocolate.html

 

[Bad^Hat]

... is equivalent to the entire supply of the commodity in Europe, and would fill more than five Titanics.

Haha, I can just picture the guy writing this article.

"And... divide by five... oh hey, that's roughly the volume of the Titanic!"

"How is that relevant in any conceivable way?"

"Shut up you. Everyone knows you're not a real journalist unless you use more than one comparison."

 

[Cancer]

It will all be used to create the ultimate orgasm-inducing brownie!

*pot optional

 

[Escaep]

They must've bean cookoo for cocoa puffs.

 

[the cow says moo]

 

[Polaris]

Willy Wonka did it.

 

[Raziaar]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...just-bought-incredible-658m-cocoa-beans-.html

The mansion, which boasts four reception rooms, five bedrooms with en suite bathrooms, a self-contained staff suite, passenger lift to all floors, a terrace and patio, covers a massive 5,947 square feet.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1295608/Choc-finger-Meet-real-life-Willy-Wonka-Anthony-Ward-whos-just-bought-incredible-658m-cocoa-beans-.html#ixzz0u0coBDjb

Turns out there's a lot of money in chocolate.





He's RICH!

Or not...

 

[YROC]

BLACK PEOPLE IN FOREIGN LANDS CAN SWIM IN CHOCOLATE BUT I CANT.

fml

 

[Raziaar]

BLACK PEOPLE IN FOREIGN LANDS CAN SWIM IN CHOCOLATE BUT I CANT.

fml

 

[Danimal]

The Illuminati bought all the cocoa, forcing the price of Chocolate to raise at levels of which the common man cannot afford. Conditioning citizens to life without Chocolate (Though not too much for them to accept a complete, permanent lack of chocolate) They use their arsenal of Jewish/Zionist owned Media to put chocolate-related symbols and imagery that predate Christianity into their popular music and mainstream cinema/television - making the idea of having an abundance of chocolate a life-long goal, though being pre-disposition'd to never having enough to be at the top, putting new-born citizens into the mindset they will never be equal to their Chocolate-Hogging Occultist Masters.

A major terrorist attack is planned and executed on US soil - The memorial for the Cadbury Factory being bombed and promptly levelled - killing up to 7,000 Americans (I could make a joke about being able to fit more dead Americans into the same-size hole as the lack of chocolate thins out their waists a bit - but that is just frankly terrible, though you would probably notice that this bracketed fragment is here because I am still telling the joke anyway. This is how the Illuminati work.)

Obama makes a speech, just outside Ground Zero - declaring war with Iran, blaming a fictional All-Star Team of Terrorists, also apparently for their rich abundance of chocolate (Giving young teens everywhere a false sense of achievement and rebellion when they tell people "No Blood For Chocolate "). For six years the war is known as being between America and Iran, before technically going to war with Iran as "The North American Union", Canada's and Mexico's sovereignty forming with the US to bring the new Amero currency into the market - both former country leaders also adding their burning desire to win back the Chocolate ANDFREEDOMANDLIBERYTHATTHOSEDARNTERRORISTSJUSTHATE.

The war effort goes on for another four years, before pre-planned market crashes and other huge buyouts (Such as the planned purchase of 250,000 tonnes of Internets) force the middle and lower classes of the world into the same slum, desperate for a way out (And some chocolate) of their debt-slavery, world leaders propose that once the Iranian chocolate has been secured, the UN becomes a global governing, military force - turning over all major military power to a single entity.

The New World Order then becomes established.

In the meantime: Henry Kissinger, David Rockafellar, Rothchild, etc. all reside in their hidden meeting room beneath Denver Airport - Surrounded by chocolate, they take on the Unholy Ritual of committing their own Deaths By Chocolate - stuffing their mortal, fleshy forms so full of Chocolate the very bodies of the demons that urged them to commit the original, nefarious deed, take the bodies as their own, making what little time they have left of the old men's vessels to usher in the Reign of the Anti-Christ.

Prove me wrong.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

There goes my theory that mumsnet bought it all in an oestrous rage.

 

[Eejit]

Someone has been extrapolating too literally from the EVE economy.

 

[mindless_moder]

Buy as much cocoa as you possibly can. If he's driving the price up you could stand to make a profit. Then again ... its exactly that attitude which will drive it up .
massive forehead is massive.

 

[kazsymonds]

Anyone else waiting for a post in Kathaksung's thread?