Your dream funeral!

[Sulkdodds]

We've had a fair few 'how would you like to die' topics - but if you don't believe in an afterlife then what's perhaps more relevant is this: what would be your dream funeral?

Personally, I'd like the Benny Hill theme tune to play. Imagine - the mourners stand around the coffin, sombre, black suits and ties, the priest clearing his throat for the last rites...then, suddenly, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh buh buh buh-buh buh buh buh-buh buh-buh etc. The Benny Hill tune plays. The suits shuffle uncomfortably as the music rings out.

Finally it's over. The priest clears his throat again. And suddenly the music comes back, restarting. There are coughs within the audience. Someone snorts and tries to disguise it. The music plays.

Eventually it stops, but just as the priest is about to start over...DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DA DA DADA DADA DA DA DADADA DADA DADA DA DAH!

Other ideas I have seen proposed were having a load of midges dressed as vikings drop in through the skylight and knock over the coffin, raiding the buffet table for nibbles, or the body being raised up by hydraulics, as if it's getting up, as Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' plays...

 

[Que-Ever]

Hopefully, one where I'll be dead.

 

[15357]

National Cemetery. Flag raising. Gun salute. My name being carved on The Stone of -----. Ect.



You get the idea.

 

[Sam]

I want my body filled with animatronics, and I sit in the audience (without them knowing), then I walk up and get in the coffin at the end.

Oh and it's in a big pyramid with a huge neon picture of my head (with hat of course) on the side.

 

[CptStern]

a viking funeral complete with vestal virgins singing arias in my honour ..of course all of my man servants will have to join me in my grave ..whether they like it or not. Burning viking pyre of death ftw


or

cremated and sent to space in a tiny capsule ..deep orbit of course


or

my consciousness is released onto the internet to roam forever ..while my body is discarded into a trash heap




meh my wife will probably just bury me in the backyard in order to save on funeral costs

 

[Evo]

Metallica's Fade to Black gets played

Makes everyone stand around crying

I'm an evil bastard eh

Oh, must be a day that is pissing down, and a 12 gun military salute to add to the atmosphere

>: D

 

[lePobz]

I don't want a funeral, as I hope to be vapourised by a close-range nuke detonation. Or a very close range asteroid impact.

 

[Beerdude26]

I want my body filled with animatronics, and I sit in the audience (without them knowing), then I walk up and get in the coffin at the end.

That would be hilarious

 

[SimonomiS]

You stole my idea Sulk.

 

[Raziaar]

I want you all to accompany me at my funeral. In coffins of your own. Sealed shut, to be buried by my side.

 

[KagePrototype]

I will live forever.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

I want a ten-foot tall statue of Mechagodzilla as my tombstone.
With a motion sensor so it roars whenever someone walks past.

Also cryogenically freeze my brain, lol.

 

[knut]

Theres a really funny sketch on Robot Chicken of a Benny Hill funeral, where all the coffin carriers pick up the coffin and start running around with hilarious consequences. Has to be watched, really. My freind almost hit white noise with his laughter. You couldn't hear him at all, but the amount of tears and joy in his face was unblieveable.

Jesu will play at my funeral. End.

 

[Thunderclap]

I want my casket fired into a singularity.

 

[kirovman]

I'd like a bomb to be placed in my casket, set to go off when the fat lady hits the high note.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I want government Black Ops soldiers to drop in from a chopper with my corpse and drop it into the casket, setting S.L.A.M.s around the perimeter, with the Pot Song playing, and then have rabid undead chimpanzees to ride in on undead horses while screaming their asses off, flinging poo at everyone, with planes filled with hundreds of snakes doing stunts overhead and gerbils wearing parachutes strapped to fireworks that will open their parachutes mere seconds before they explode, and a bunch of other bullshit I can't think of.

 

[PvtRyan]

I don't care, as long as there's "Bee Gees - Staying Alive" playing.

 

[Greatgat]

I want all my friends and family to partake of me. I'll be made into a tasty six foot long submarine sandwich with all the garnish on the side so people can complement my taste to their liking.

 

[Shippi]

.

 

[pvtbones]

Option A:
military funeral with full honours, a few medals award posthumorously.

Option B:
launched into space.

Option C:
Ducttaped to a nuclear missile and then launched at the current enemy of the country (cowboy hat and voice recording of me yelling "yeehaw!" and "yahoo!" optional)

 

[CptStern]

you're canadian ..we have no enemies ..except those evil doers south of the border but now that we have ol harpo we should be free from their evil deeds and machinations ....oh wait

 

[Geogaddi]

I'd donate my body to necropheliacs.

I mean, I'd be dead, what would I care?

 

[function9]

Thrown in the nearest dumpster.

 

[Jangle]

"Always look on the bright side of life" from Life of Brian would be the most awesomest funeral music ever.

 

[MiccyNarc]

I won't have one, I'll probably end up being a freaking suicide bomber ^_^

 

[Slacker]

I don't care. I'll be dead.

That said, it'd be swell if I knew that the opening music from A Clockwork Orange would be playing during it before I went.

 

[Solaris]

I don't mind.
Perphaps play lucky man by the verve.

 

[pvtbones]

you're canadian ..we have no enemies ..except those evil doers south of the border but now that we have ol harpo we should be free from their evil deeds and machinations ....oh wait

I personally perfer harper to the the leaders of the liberal party (not to say they weren't or will be good/great liberal party leaders, just none recently.)

he's provided funding for the military which is a big plus for me (something I plan to make a career of)

I may not agree with some of his choices but I don't feel my vote was wasted.

 

[Krynn72]

I want to have my funeral in outer space, where they shoot my body into the sun.

 

[pomegranate]

a load of midges dressed as vikings drop in through the skylight and knock over the coffin, raiding the buffet table for nibbles...

Midges?

 

[A2597]

A navy burial in space.

As in: Coffin sent slowly into a sun.

 

[AmishSlayer]

I'm down with the space thing of getting shot into the void enclosed in a big sunglasses case.

 

[Dog--]

First, I would fake my death, get dressed up as a realistic look zombie, get put into my coffin, than BLAH! I'd actually have to eat some flesh, though. It'd be worth it!

 

[Stigmata]

I think it would be pretty funny to rig an enormous neon sign of my head above the front doors of the church or supported directly over the gravesite, with me giving a sort of down-and-to-the-side suggestive grin.

And every six or seven seconds, for an instant, the second part of the sign flashes: An enormous, purple, feathered pimp hat.

 

[Sam]

feathered pimp hat.

I'm not sure if I'm glad you ended that sentence with that or not.

 

[Bad^Hat]

21 gun salute with explosive tipped bullets while my severed body parts are launched into the line of fire by a claybird shooter and wholly innapropriate music is blared over a loud speaker :smoking:

Seriously though, I'd leave it totally up to the family (or whoever was around for it). Funerals are for those still alive to mourn the dead, so whatever they feel is appropriate would be fine with me.