Zero Punctuation: S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

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Just watched that that was one of the best in a while especially at the end :LOL:
 
The nuclear explosion with the happy face nailed the events at Chernobyl.
 
He pretty much pointed out exactly the reasons why i don't play STALKER.

Take 1: Went in there pretending to be Dr. Freeman spraying bullets all over the place and... dead...

Take 2: Tried sneaking around taking out enemies one by one. Only killing one brings the attention of every enemy and their family within a mile! Needless to say... dead

Take 3: Managed to get by the first mission by reloading a few times. Was heading back to get my next assignment when these large brown polygons stretching from one side of the screen to the other appeared. They were getting bigger and bigger until... yep, dead! They were giant mutant hogs with graphical errors...

Nuked off hard drive
 
That has to Top 3 of his for me at least. AWESOME. I will totally need to get that game once a few patches make their rounds apparently. :E
 
Remus said:
He pretty much pointed out exactly the reasons why i don't play STALKER.

Take 1: Went in there pretending to be Dr. Freeman spraying bullets all over the place and... dead...

Take 2: Tried sneaking around taking out enemies one by one. Only killing one brings the attention of every enemy and their family within a mile! Needless to say... dead

Take 3: Managed to get by the first mission by reloading a few times. Was heading back to get my next assignment when these large brown polygons stretching from one side of the screen to the other appeared. They were getting bigger and bigger until... yep, dead! They were giant mutant hogs with graphical errors...

Nuked off hard drive
Click to expand...


Dont you mean,

Ess Tee El Kay Eee Arr? hahaha

that was priceless.

this was one of my new favorites.
 
have to agree with him just by playing the original stalker. I got by the first mission and then decided I shouldnt have to give a game a chance to be fun...it either is or isnt. The graphics suck, the guns are friggen lame, the glitches are unbearable, etc...

It took me over 10 shots to kill a ****ing dog for crying out loud. **** stalker
 
That was definitely the best one in a while! So many good gags, my favourite was probably the quick save button causing baddies to start playing badminton :D
 
That. Was. AMAZING. Oh wow, I've never actually chuckled out loud properly to them before, this one was hilarious. The cartoons of the stalkers bandits following him, then playing badminton :LOL:
 
MattyDienhoff said:
That's what mods are for, to change tangible things like weapon stats.

And if you want bugfixes, try this.
Click to expand...

You're missing the point. A game is supposed to be fun right out of the box, not after applying a dozen patches and mods to it...
 
Spot on. I love stalker but this review was perfect. Oddly compelling = Ess Tee Eh El Kay Eee Arr.

Probably his best review ever. Love the error.
 
Do the mods for Shadow of Chernobyl work in Clear Sky?! I know how buggy SOC can be, so I'm waiting for CS to get some patches, but I also know that the modders can definitely work some magic.
 
Mikael Grizzly said:
It worked straight out of the box for me.
Click to expand...
This.

And 10 shots to kill a dog? Use a shotgun point blank, even medium range, one shot. Pistols are for people (like last resort in case u dont have time to reload). I love the game's difficulty, beat it on medium now starting master (hardest); only slightly annoying thing is random radiation spots, but hey, ur in the zone bi7ch.
 
Exactly. There's a reason why hunters hunt with shotguns and soldiers fight with ARs.
 
Definately the best one in recent memory :D

Right up there with his Brawl review and his Assassin's Creed review.
 
5lcj9y.jpg


5char.
 
That was seriously INSANE! The Bioshock and Stalker reviews are now my 2 favorite. I was LOL for once.
 
I actually found his review only slightly above mediocre for a Yahtzee review. Not up with BS, portal, and some others.
 
Remus said:
You're missing the point. A game is supposed to be fun right out of the box, not after applying a dozen patches and mods to it...
Click to expand...
A game is also supposed to be bug-free, lack an abundance of poor design decisions, have an efficient and well-optimized engine, and a UI in which everything is spelled correctly. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world.

My points (there were two) were...

A: Nothing is perfect, and the more ambitious a game is, the more flawed it will usually turn out to be.
B: Things like weapon attributes and difficulty can be changed easily, but you can't mod STALKER's atmosphere into another game, can you?

And all that nonwithstanding, I personally did find STALKER fun out of the box, and clearly - so did a lot of others. I just find it to be more enjoyable with mods to tweak things to my liking. The gameplay and the atmosphere at the core of the game is what I love, and if I can change the less important things that I don't like, that's just a bonus.

Sorry for going off-topic, that just had to be said.
 
MattyDienhoff said:
And all that nonwithstanding, I personally did find STALKER fun out of the box, and clearly - so did a lot of others. I just find it to be more enjoyable with mods to tweak things to my liking. The gameplay and the atmosphere at the core of the game is what I love, and if I can change the less important things that I don't like, that's just a bonus.
Click to expand...

Totally agree, hell, I love the weapon stats, because it requires carefully placed shots, instead of just spray and pray. Makes it harder, which makes it more fun, it can actually be a challenge at times, unlike most other games now-a-days.
 
Finally got around to watching it, funny as hell, baboon!

Ess-Tee-Ay-El-Kay-Ee-Arrrrr

He seemed more kind of 'Well this wasn't too bad" about the whole thing than genuinely riled up though.
 
****ing hilarious as usual. I've not yet played any of the Ess Tee Ay EL Kay Ee Arr games yet, mainly because I'm waiting for a Steam weekend deal (if I've missed though I'll be upset).
 
Very nice review. He always makes my day that little bit better :)
 
Brilliant. Those error jokes always make me wonder for a moment. :p
 
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