Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

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I hate sonic. I like yahtzee. For making me realize it's ok to hate sonic.
 
Wow, he got genuinely angry on this one. Made it so much funnier too ;)
 
lefty said:
I hate sonic. I like yahtzee. For making me realize it's ok to hate sonic.
Click to expand...

Don't worry it's been okay to hate sonic to some extent pretty much since sonic and knuckles.

Side note: I also have to thank nintendo for the gamecube and wii so that people don't give too many awkward faces when I say I absolutely can't stand them :P
 
He makes it sound dreadful.

Meh, I won't be playing it either way.
 
Hahahaha. Holy shit that's got to be the most negative review he's done.


snapshot20081218052744oj5.jpg

In before Darkside.
 
82945565qb6.jpg


Not what I thought this image was supposed to portray, but frantically dashing after a single ring in Sonic 2 just so you wouldn't die from another hit is what made me lol my ass off at this.
 
So originally I wrote a "standard Darkside post"--lots of paragraphs, points being picked apart bit by bit and refuted, a dose of swearing thrown in for emphasis and to mock the opinion of whomever it is I happened to be disagreeing with at the time. And I got to like paragraph four or summat, and I just gave up and said "fuck it." Because in all honesty, as mad as I am at not only what he said about Unleashed itself, but certain other Sonic games he brought up, I realize it's ultimately fruitless to start railing on about it.

For shits and giggles I took a look at the comments section and realized that nobody's going to give this game a chance based on the fact that it's a next-gen Sonic game and the words of an irate British man. Most of these people even admit that they haven't played Sonic since Genesis.

So as much as I'm having my usual red-eyed rage right now, it's pretty pointless to argue since I don't have a big enough platform to argue about it with. I've said Sonic Unleashed is good here, and I've said Sonic Unleashed is good elsewhere (to which I was, for the most part, agreed with by far, far harsher game critics than any fop in a hat), and the only real pity is that more people are going to listen to the scathing reviews of the game rather than play it and judge for themselves.
 
Sonic in 3d is like releasing fresh water fish into the dead sea. They just don't get along.

Wow. Couldn't stop laughing after that.
 
Well he didn't like any of the other 3d Sonics so I pretty much threw his credibility for possible mutual feelings on the game out the window at that point (ok, well a lot sooner before that part).
Here's my graph on the Sonic series. Latest is Unleashed, you can guess at the big dip

76269971st6.jpg
 
As hilariously negative as the review was, he didn't really convince me that it was a bad game. I've barely played any Sonic games but I bet I could still play this one and enjoy it.
 
To be honest, every review I've seen apart from for the Wii and PS2 have totally panned it and even then they didn't grade it will, but I'm still disapointed that Darkside wasn't unleashed.
 
Poor Darkside...face it man, all the reviews out state it's only 'alright' at best.
It's almost certainly shit.
 
About the only one thing I really don't like about this game is that it FORCES you to find those sun/moon medals to advance the story. They shoulda left that to acheivements or for extras.

Other than that I'm quite enjoying it, especially the day time Sonic levels.

Edit: One more thing, the song that plays when enemies appear in the werehog levels gets really old really fast.
 
I [strike]played[/strike] touched secret rings, and I was done with it all.
 
Put your faith in reviewers you should not.
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That's an exception. Sonic unleashed reviews seem to be a general consensus though.
 
I think some people take his reviews to seriously, you dont have to agree with him to find his own hate funny.
 
That's an exception. Sonic unleashed reviews seem to be a general consensus though.
Click to expand...

Reviewers also had a general consensus that Mortal Kombat Deception was a good game. Reviewers aren't gods.

Seriously, between myself and Dumb Dude who also said he's having a good time with it, all the people who made reviews of it on the Gamespot boards (the reviewer gave it a 3, but curiously enough everyone who's played it seems to give it a 7 or above...hmmmmm), and one other "board" that hates all video games *cough, cough* thinks it's a good game...really now. Bashing Sonic is the "in" thing for reviewers to do. New Sonic game comes out, it gets trashed. Every single time. In this case it's wholly undeserved. Don't you think it's rather conspicuous that reviewers have been saying it's a bad game and yet people with no actual agenda have been saying things like, "Sonic's back," "The Sonic cycle is broken," "I'm having a good time," "No annoying ****ing friends," etc.?

Anyway, do what you want. The game's definitely worth at least an $8 rental. Fact is that people'd rather stick to their guns listening to people who are so damned jaded about the whole thing that they don't even give it a proper chance. And then people listen to them like their word is actually good for something. LOOK at that picture above. It isn't an exception. You'd like to THINK it's an exception. Oh, you'd love to think it's an exception.

But then metacritic tells me that MK: Deception got an 81%.
 
Darkside55 said:
Put your faith in reviewers you should not.

1228858191275dy8.jpg
Click to expand...




I want to find the stupid ****s who keep making those god aweful noobass dumbshit common scum ****** games for the Wii, and end them.


I mean completely and utterly erase the foul smelling stain of their existence from existence.


And then I'll go home and sit in front of the telly in piece without those awful awful ads with those awful awful actors raping my eyes.
 
So Darkside how would you rate this against Sonic Heroes? That was the last Sonic game i've played and that killed off Sonic for me. Has this one gone back to it's roots so that a Sonic veteran like myself who remembers Sonic on the Mega Drive can enjoy. I thought the Dreamcast series was ok so if it's like them then that's good.
 
It's not as up there with the Dreamcast ones. It's a step in the right direction. The 2D sections are fast and have good platforming, but there's some "PUSH THIS BUTTON, QUICK!" moments. A lot of moments.

And the werehog combat system is actually, surprisingly fun.

Also just as an aside...I didn't think Heroes was...too bad. I mean it was...it was uh...it had really, really good music. :laugh:
 
His best review in ages. Don't give two shits, or any shit at all, about Sonic Unleashed but it's been a long time since I've found anything on the internet that funny.
 
I just tried the Sonic Unleashed Demo. Granted, it was only the daytime mission, but I had a good amount of fun. Some of the sections seemed too fast leading you to die quite a bit, but those sections can be fun, in a "I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM GOING" crazy kind of way.

Try the demo if you havent yet.
 
"Just repurpose him as a trash picking device"

Nice review, but not his finest hour....yet
 
I have hated every Sonic game I've ever played.

On the other hand, I've only ever played a Sonic game for <1 hour.
 
I'll revise that. The 2D games were a-ok, even if i played them for <1 hour. But all 3d sonic games i've ever played have sucked.
 
THEY SUCKED!

They did Darkseid, they sucked!
 
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