Ridge
Newbie
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 2,783
- Reaction score
- 11
Perhaps...
Thats all theyve put together so far...
Eli: Gordon please put this chunk of alien rock in the reactor because the wierd man in a suit told me to.
Scientist: DAMMIT GORDON EVERTHING IS EXPLODING FOR SOME REASON
Barnacle: All of us teleported randomly into your universe without missing the ceiling once.
Headcrab: I prey on creatures that dont exist in my universe and my life cycle makes no sense.
Marine: Hello I am here to cover up what happened at Black Mesa, even though the entire Earth has been ripped apart by portal storms and the people at Black Mesa are our only hope of survival.
Scientist: Gordon I need you to launch a satellite that will have absolutely no effect on anything.
Another Scientist: OK I need you to go to Xen and kill the Nihilanth, whatever the **** that is.
Gman: Hello I am an interesting character because I talk funny. I will now lock you in a tramcar for several decades.
Gman again: These random scenes and words will help you understand your mission. I am now going to teleport you into the middle of a Combine stronghold without any weapons.
Barney: Instead of helping you I just want you to jump out a window.
Kleiner: Hello I kept your HEV suit in mint condition for several years because I thought you would someday teleport into the middle of the city. Also the teleporter is broken and you have to walk to Black Mesa East without a gun.
Metro Cop: OH GOD IM SORRY ABOUT THE CAN THING PLEASE LET ME LIVE.
Lady: I have to stay here in this tunnel in case someone else comes along, even though everyone behind you is dead.
Helicopter: I am going to piss you off for the next 2 hours.
Man: I have to stay here in case that retarded woman decides to leave her tunnel and come here.
Headcrab launcher: Instead of a ton of explosives, I contain small animals.
Rebel: Please, take my airboat. I will just sit here and get eaten by headcrabs.
Metrocop: Ok, we should all stand in a straight line in front of the charging airboat.
Another Metrocop: OK, this is our chance! We need to close the dock doors and then rig up a giant battering ram directly behind it!
Metrocop again: Yeah, the door thing didnt work last time, but it cant hurt to try again!
Helicopter: You think you can stop me? All I have to do is go over that hill for a few seconds, and I can magically repair myself!
Rebel: Black Mesa East is just ahead, a few yards away from a Combine outpost and a helicopter. No idea why we set up our base there.
Eli: JESUS CHRIST GORDAN WHY DID YOU PARK YOUR AIRBOAT OUT IN THE OPEN IN FRONT OF OUR BASE! YOU ****ING RETARD THE COMBINE JUST CAPTURED ME!
Alyx: Dog, I want you to take the safe route out. Gordan, I want you to walk through a headcrab-infested ghetto.
Grigori: You can tell I am crazy because I am Christian. Also, you are going the wrong way. No, thats also the wrong way. Actually, you might have gotten it right the first time.
Grigori again: Sit on top of that roof while I take a nap. I will send over the car when I wake up in an hour.
Grigori one last time: You go on ahead, I have to set myself on fire and laugh maniacally.
Overwatch: Oh crap there are zombies everywhere! I had no idea filling the area with headcrabs would cause this! The only solution is to shoot more headcrab mortars!
Rebel: The antlions are horny so you need a car to survive.
Overwatch: I have no idea why I am out in the middle of an antlion-infested beach. God I hate this job.
Antlion: KEKEKEKEKEKE
Odessa Cubbage: A man with a funny accent said I could trust you with a rocket launcher.
Antlion: KEKEKEKEKE
Ballmine: I just want to hug you!
Antlion: KEKEKEKE
Vortigaunt: I need you to invade Nova Prospekt using those annoying bugs.
Antlion: KEKEKEKE
Gunship: Bitch you cant stop both of us! Whoops you already did LOL.
Dr. Breen: You are all a dissapointment to the Soviet--I mean UNIVERSAL Union. Yeah, definitely universal. Not communist at all.
Overwatch Elite: You can tell I am superior to the normal overwatch because I dont wear any camoflague and I have only one eye.
Overwatch 1: Oh man turrets! We should all charge at them blindly until they run out of ammo!
Overwatch 2: Pretty sure they have infinite ammo, sir.
Overwatch 1: I DONT HEAR BLIND CHARGING!
Headcrab: How the hell did I get inside an impenetrable Combine fortress?
Barnacle: Yeah, the headcrab brought up a good point.
Eli: Woah I have no idea whats happening. Maybe if I ask enough pointless questions I will figure everything out.
Kleiner: A week has passed for some reason. Go shoot stuff.
Thats all theyve put together so far...