"9 Things I Hate About The Internet"

[CyberPitz]

http://www.shoutwire.com/comments/49315/9_Things_I_Hate_About_The_Internet

1. Mac users
I know, most Mac users are ?Happy with their computers? but that is because they don?t have a PC. I would be happy with a Honda until I got a Lexus. Also, if I have to watch one more of those stupid ?Mac vs. PC? commercials with the old man and the trendy younger gay-looking idiot frat boy, I am going to shoot Steve Jobs in his ****ing head.

2. Europeans
Especially the ones who blame all of the world?s problems on America and thus all Americans as well. You people know who you are. You?re just lucky there was no internet during WWII. Enough said there.

3. Fanboys
These bastards are easy to spot. Whether it is Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, PS3, or Xbox, everywhere you go on the internet you can find two people arguing over ****ing brand names. These people need to be taken out and shot. If a game is good, play it. If a movie is good, watch it. Just because one television show is good it does not mean that all the others suck. Write that down.

4. Religious Debate
We now come to the argument that can never be won but will forever be fought. First some asshole Christian has to mention his belief that no one can be saved without Jesus, and then an atheist will respond with a 50 page essay about the dangers of religion, and after that everyone chimes in with bullshit opinions and half assed truths and all hell breaks loose. Everyone except the Buddhists. Somehow, I think 90% of them have no idea what they are supposed to believe and just took the title to be ?cool? and ?different?. ****ing hippies.

5. Nigerian Spam
Ok, show of hands; how many people here actually know where Nigeria is? How the **** did they get the internet? I thought they were poor? Also, who are these people that actually fall for those stupid ?my-client-just-died-now-I-will-give-you-one-million-dollars-for-free? emails? Anyways, we all know there is only one possible solution to this particular problem; baseball bats, Conan swords, and plane tickets to Africa.

6. The dangers of surfing porn
Why does the best thing about being online also have to be the most perilous? There used to be an unwritten rule amongst men that you just do not **** with another man's porn. These days you are lucky if a 15 minute masturbation session surfing your favorite porn sites won?t earn you three hours of computer clean up time. This is proof that if there is a god it?s most likely a vindictive woman.

7. Advertisements with sound
This is an all too familiar problem for the folks reading this. It?s late and your house is dark and quiet. You?re clicking wildly all over the net trying to find something cool when all of a sudden a buzzing noise knocks you halfway out of your chair, forcing you to spill hot coffee all over your crotch making your sperm count low. Whoever the mastermind was behind these advertisements should be hunted down and killed like the animal he or she is. Preferably tortured first. For a long time. A very long time.

8. Internet dating
These people are the worst. ?I?m going to find love on the intraweb!? Excuse me while I puke. If you can not physically have sex with a woman, and if she does not feed you regularly, she is not your girlfriend. The very term ?Internet girlfriend? is a scar on the face of the English language. If you are one of these assholes with a girlfriend online because you can?t find one in real life, pick up the nearest bottle of ever clear, douse yourself with it, and do us all a favor by lighting a match. Please instruct your significant other to do the same.

9. LoL
Everyone knows you aren?t laughing, so why feel the need to lie about it? Anymore, it is only used as a response to break awkward silence during IM conversations and when someone wants to be overly sarcastic on a message board. It is a good thing this phrase is not usable in real life. Homicide and assault rates would soar, punches in the face would be up 75%, and prison ass rapings would take on a whole new dimension of sickness.

 

[Dalamari]

The stuff about Mac users and Europeans is basic "LOL IMMA DOUCHE" internet stuff

 

[Evo]

LoL

:|

 

[<RJMC>]

why europeans?

 

[Que-Ever]

I don't like europeans.

>.>

 

[Idonno >_<]

These days you are lucky if a 15 minute masturbation session surfing your favorite porn sites won?t earn you three hours of computer clean up time. This is proof that if there is a god it?s most likely a vindictive woman.

8. Internet dating
These people are the worst. ?I?m going to find love on the intraweb!? Excuse me while I puke. If you can not physically have sex with a woman, and if she does not feed you regularly, she is not your girlfriend.

Makes sense why Ikerous always is deleting and moving folders after he is on the computer for long periods of time.

So very true about the online dating.
To all the Men who have online Girl Friends, trust me girls dont date online. Your so called "Girl Friend" is a Man.
And to all you Woman who have online, Boy Friends, they dont look like what you might believe, and yes, they probably are cybering with other girls (Who are really boys) behind your back.

 

[CrazyHarij]

3. Fanboys
These bastards are easy to spot. Whether it is Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, PS3, or Xbox, everywhere you go on the internet you can find two people arguing over ****ing brand names. These people need to be taken out and shot. If a game is good, play it. If a movie is good, watch it. Just because one television show is good it does not mean that all the others suck. Write that down.

oh, let's see, an example of this maybe?
ah:

1. Mac users
I know, most Mac users are ?Happy with their computers? but that is because they don?t have a PC. I would be happy with a Honda until I got a Lexus. Also, if I have to watch one more of those stupid ?Mac vs. PC? commercials with the old man and the trendy younger gay-looking idiot frat boy, I am going to shoot Steve Jobs in his ****ing head.

boring article, just same old "grrr i hate everything i'm gonna die of high blood pressure" type of writing that's already prevalent online

 

[The Brick]

So if we kill it all... what would be left?


0.1%

 

[Stigmata]

Stupid article.

 

[Ome_Vince]

2. Europeans
Especially the ones who blame all of the world?s problems on America and thus all Americans as well. You people know who you are. You?re just lucky there was no internet during WWII. Enough said there.

Why Europeans ? wtf
And whats up with this WWII crap, no offense to the yanks but lets not take any lessons from people like this guy, who lets Hollywood write his history.

48 countries allied against Germany, and it was mostly the Russians who broke the German might, not to mention the Britts who fought the Germans from 1939 - 1945 and fought through the tough times when all hope seemed lost.
The 1944 landings in D-Day were over 2 years after the German fate had been sealed at Stalingrad and almost 5 years into the war...
Lets also not forget the US hardly gave a crap until the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor (what is it, in '42), and happened to be allied to Nazi Germany.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful, but I'm getting ****ing tired of this Hollywood history version of WWII, where according to people like this guy, we all need to kiss American Butt, and get this crap smacked at our faces the second we disagree with the States.
People like that guy, are what I hate about internet.
Point 3-9 are true though

 

[CyberPitz]

Yes...the plan is comming together...the euros are fighting back

SUCCESS!

 

[<RJMC>]

Why Europeans ? wtf
And whats up with this WWII crap, no offense to the yanks but lets not take any lessons from people like this guy, who lets Hollywood write his history.

48 countries allied against Germany, and it was mostly the Russians who broke the German might, not to mention the Britts who fought the Germans from 1939 - 1945 and fought through the tough times when all hope seemed lost.
The 1944 landings in D-Day were over 2 years after the German fate had been sealed at Stalingrad and almost 5 years into the war...
Lets also not forget the US hardly gave a crap until the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor (what is it, in '42), and happened to be allied to Nazi Germany.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful, but I'm getting ****ing tired of this Hollywood history version of WWII, where according to people like this guy, we all need to kiss American Butt, and get this crap smacked at our faces the second we disagree with the States.
People like that guy, are what I hate about internet.
Point 3-9 are true though

yes that true,also it was the russians who take the capital,not like if the president of united states killed hitler by himself

 

[Ome_Vince]

hehe, probably a few years from now a new movie will come from Hollywood where an American commando dressed in an American flag secretly first infiltrates into Russia to single-handedly stop the German Army thats sacking Stalingrad, then infiltrates Germany, and kills all the important figures including Hitler so its easy for the Russians to roll in This after slaughtering half the wehrmacht with a .50 cal machinegun in his left hand and a bazooka in the other. Titled "Rambo 6: Uncle Sam bitch-slaps Hitler"

 

[CyberPitz]

hehe, probably a few years from now a new movie will come from Hollywood where an American commando dressed in an American flag secretly first infiltrates into Russia to single-handedly stop the German Army thats sacking Stalingrad, then infiltrates Germany, and kills all the important figures including Hitler so its easy for the Russians to roll in This after slaughtering half the wehrmacht with a .50 cal machinegun in his left hand and a bazooka in the other. Titled "Rambo 6: Uncle Sam bitch-slaps Hitler"

I'm amazed it hasn't been made yet! D:

Anything to make this godawful country look awesome.

 

[<RJMC>]

I'm amazed it hasn't been made yet! D:

Anything to make this godawful country look awesome.

them it will be a movie where god ask bush to travel back in time and save jesus,and using a super duper time machine bush go alone and naked to the moment jesus was going to be cruxified and whit 2 m60's kills everyone and saves jesus

 

[DigiQ8]

oh, let's see, an example of this maybe?
ah:


boring article, just same old "grrr i hate everything i'm gonna die of high blood pressure" type of writing that's already prevalent online

I Agree with the crazy guy

 

[CyberPitz]

them it will be a movie where god ask bush to travel back in time and save jesus,and using a super duper time machine bush go alone and naked to the moment jesus was going to be cruxified and whit 2 m60's kills everyone and saves jesus

Sounds like a plan to me!

Bush And Teds Bogus Journy!

 

[phantomdesign]

hehe, probably a few years from now a new movie will come from Hollywood where an American commando dressed in an American flag secretly first infiltrates into Russia to single-handedly stop the German Army thats sacking Stalingrad, then infiltrates Germany, and kills all the important figures including Hitler so its easy for the Russians to roll in This after slaughtering half the wehrmacht with a .50 cal machinegun in his left hand and a bazooka in the other. Titled "Rambo 6: Uncle Sam bitch-slaps Hitler"

*emails hollywood*

*waits for response, ready to email bollywood (india)*

 

[Uriel]

I'm amazed it hasn't been made yet! D:

Anything to make this godawful country look awesome.

:|

......godawful? Because child porn is illegal here?

 

[tehsolace]

1. Mac users
2. Europeans

Doesn't really have anything to do with the internet, now does it?

4. Religious Debates

Those are entertaining.

6. Dangers of surfing porn

Theres plenty of sites that provide easy, free, and easy access to porn. I won't link an example though... I doubt its allowed by HL2.net policy.

 

[Solaris]

Awesome article.

 

[99.vikram]

*waits for response, ready to email bollywood (india)*

To sell a B-grade film in India you need a hero and heroine prancing about in either -

a) Random foreign location, or
b) Garden / Grove of trees

So I think Condoleeza Rice should be cast opposite Bush.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

them it will be a movie where god ask bush to travel back in time and save jesus,and using a super duper time machine bush go alone and naked to the moment jesus was going to be cruxified and whit 2 m60's kills everyone and saves jesus

This made me roll over laughing.

 

[xcellerate]

I use 'lol' when I laugh

that's really the only time I use it...

 

[CyberPitz]

:|

......godawful? Because child porn is illegal here?

That's one of the reasons, yes.

 

[kineaesth]

Goddamn those morals...

 

[Flyingdebris]

9 Things i hate about the internet as someone who ocassionally plunges the depths

1. Soul crushing images or video. The sort of stuff thats WORSE than goatse or *******. Normally found by downloading a misnamed file, visiting somethingawful.com's awful links of the day, hanging around 4chan, or featured on Portal of Evil.

2. Sick F***s. These are a very varied bunch and are as common as flies. These are the people with the bizarre, often disgusting fetishes or obsessions. For example people that are into guro porn or Adult babies.

3. Furries. Normally I would throw these into the sick f*** category, but they are obnoxious enough to deserve their own. For the uninformed, its the official term for people that are really interested in anthropormorphic animals in comics and art. However in practice its more like, people who masterbate to the Lion King. The more extreme cases go to conventions in elaborate fursuits looking like bizarre school mascots. Aside from their commonly smarmy demeanor and across the board lacking social skills, these people represent for all geeks an example of what happens when a lack of self control and the desire to sexualize everything, will do to someone.

4. 13 year old boys, and 16 year old girls. They ruin everything they touch. Everything.

5. Spam. No i don't want meds and am not looking for you're sexy singles or my classmates. leave me alone!

6. Internet politics fight. I'm guilty of this, even though i hate it. As being polite on the internet is a dead cause, politics turns quickly into insults and picking apart the minutae in your opponents wording. In effect the fight becomes more about the size of your e-penis than of the actual political issue.

7. Really bad Deviantartists. Basically a large sprawlwing collection of crappy fanartists, furries, and MS painters. They will often take your favorite characters from movies or comics or what have you, and make horrible artwork off of them.

8. /b/-tards. The standard 4chan trooper. They are a varied bunch. Some of them are great and mighty internet warriors fighting against furries and other depraved internet denizens. More often than not though they are twisted basement dwelling mutant pedophiles who have gone insane from too much exposure to the internet. These are the people who bring up the muck at the bottom of the internet for all to see.

9. Otherkin/Otakukin. Otherkin are people who actually believe that they are the reincarnations of unicorns, fairies, vampires, dragons or whatever. Any mythical creature will do. Sometimes they'll start combining stuff D&D style, like half dragon demon unircorns or some shit. Often times they are D&D players that went over the deep end. Otakukin take this one step further. They believe they are the reincarnations of anime chracters. let that sink it for a moment. They believe they are reincarnations of anime characters.

 

[Beerdude26]

8. /b/-tards. The standard 4chan trooper. They are a varied bunch. Some of them are great and mighty internet warriors fighting against furries and other depraved internet denizens. More often than not though they are twisted basement dwelling mutant pedophiles who have gone insane from too much exposure to the internet. These are the people who bring up the muck at the bottom of the internet for all to see.

Hey, they do it for the lulz

 

[Qonfused]

8. /b/-tards. The standard 4chan trooper. They are a varied bunch. Some of them are great and mighty internet warriors fighting against furries and other depraved internet denizens. More often than not though they are twisted basement dwelling mutant pedophiles who have gone insane from too much exposure to the internet. These are the people who bring up the muck at the bottom of the internet for all to see.

This is bad?

 

[CyberPitz]

The worst thing that comes from /b/tards are the shitty phrases that come out of their mouths with every sentence because they think it's..."funny"...

 

[Qonfused]

Lurk moar.

 

[jondy]

Lurk moar.

****in' hate that phrase. Yeah, we all know about your baykuns, you're doing it wrong, no u etc., sod off

 

[Qonfused]

We don't think it's funny. It's just something to say.

 

[Seppo]

Where does that name come from? /b/-tard I mean

 

[jondy]

the random image board at 4chan, /b/

 

[Kadayi]

Ah the blessed ravings of Xxoozero. He's the howard Stern of Shoutwire, always loud, but rarely fulfilling.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Where does that name come from? /b/-tard I mean

Name given to the people who lurk /b/.

I AM BARNABY JONES.

 

[Qonfused]

Your avatar needs moar pooper.

 

[Bad^Hat]

10. People who take joy in pointing out things they personally dislike, and expect everyone else to care.

Nuff said.

 

[Flyingdebris]

oh snap!