A man confined to a wheelchair for 20 years gets bit by a spider and walks again

[Krynn72]

http://cbs13.com/local/Paraplegic.Man.Suffers.2.958151.html


Read the whole article for some extra luls.

 

[bbson john]

lol sucker

 

[Dog--]

lol @ the ending.

 

[Sheepo]

Man, I can't stand it when no one beats me to the first pun.

 

[CrazyHarij]

What an outstanding man.

 

[Warped]

inject me with that stuff when i get no use out of my legs please

 

[MJ12]

Hmm, and he sounded like such a nice guy.
He must have been wearing the symbiote suit too often.

 

[Rabdomin]

No super powers.. lame

 

[Darkside55]

Oh man. This guy's from Modesto. Pretty soon I'm going to be moving back there; I lived there for eight years and never saw a brown recluse, but the story doesn't say whether he got bitten there. There aren't supposed to be recluses in California at all; they're supposed to be in the midwest.

This is going to cause me some worry.

 

[Sheepo]

I assume you've grown fond of your wheelchair then?

 

[L3N!N]

I laughed at the ironic ending.

I was more interested in using Brown Recluses for vaccines and stuff, though.

 

[Darkside55]

I assume you've grown fond of your wheelchair then?

It's got turbo, son.

 

[lefty]

I should get a brown recluse to bite my dick.

 

[Dog--]

I'm confused, this mans legs did not work, then he got bitten by a spider, then his legs worked.

You want this spider to bite your dick.

Oh... ED.

 

[Robert-]

If those spiders can perform miracles...

Do I smell a new religion? :naughty:

 

[DEATHMASTER]

I wonder if we're going to have a bunch of paraplegics buying brown recluses now. Also lol'd at ending.

 

[Avoidist]

If those spiders can perform miracles...

Do I smell a new religion? :naughty:

The First Church of John Locke

(The fictional character, not the philosopher)

 

[PriNcE oF SpAcE]

haha what a way to celebrate .

 

[Sandspider]

That is actually awesome!

 

[Sheepo]

So nobody liked my pun post at all?

...I thought it was good

 

[Adabiviak]

I don't buy it. It's more likely that he hadn't noticed the beginning of the returning functions of his legs, and this spider bite caused him to go to the hospital, where upon closer inspection, it was 'discovered'. If I understand it correctly, brown recluse venom isn't a neural toxin - it borks platelet action and ultimately causes local necrosis.

Oh man. This guy's from Modesto. Pretty soon I'm going to be moving back there; I lived there for eight years and never saw a brown recluse, but the story doesn't say whether he got bitten there. There aren't supposed to be recluses in California at all; they're supposed to be in the midwest.

This is going to cause me some worry.

Good to know! Never having looked it up, I always figured that I'd just never seen one.

 

[Robert-]

So nobody liked my pun post at all?

...I thought it was good

*pats back*

Don't worry about it, kiddo, they'll catch it next time, promise.

 

[Top Secret]

It's got turbo, son.

Wow, I didn't know anyone else on this forum lived in Modesto. You go to JC?

(Shoot me a PM if you want...)

 

[Eejit]

Can he swing from a thread?

 

[CyberPitz]

Oh man. This guy's from Modesto. Pretty soon I'm going to be moving back there; I lived there for eight years and never saw a brown recluse, but the story doesn't say whether he got bitten there. There aren't supposed to be recluses in California at all; they're supposed to be in the midwest.

This is going to cause me some worry.

Yeah, you never want to see one. When they fall out of the hole to the attic onto your bare chest........you begin to fear spiders more.

 

[Stigmata]

Yeah, you never want to see one. When they fall out of the hole to the attic onto your bare chest........you begin to fear spiders more.

I mentally cringed. And then noticed I physically cringed as well.

 

[Raziaar]

So nobody liked my pun post at all?

...I thought it was good

I thought it was fantastic, subtly covering both elements of the story. Very smooth.

 

[Lizardizzle]

hah, looks like we have another spider-m--....

oh, too late? Damn.

hah, looks like we have another John Locke.

 

[Bad^Hat]

lol @ the ending.

To be fair, most parents have the privilege of spreading their abuse across their child's lives so as to keep it minimal. This guy had 2x14 years worth of probably-justified punting to catch up on.

 

[Dog--]

This is true.

 

[Sheepo]

I thought it was fantastic, subtly covering both elements of the story. Very smooth.

Thanks mayne, it's all witty and shi'.

 

[Omnomnick]

Sounds like that Spider gave him the final leg to recovery.

 

[SpiderPig]

after posting on how much I hate spiders.. I am reconsidering that thought.

 

[Nomad]

Honestly, you would've thought that conducting electricity and spider venom in your legs would give you superpowers or a REALLY vivid drug trip.

 

[Darkedge34]

Sounds like that Spider gave him the final leg to recovery.

Hahh.

 

[Phobie]

Blancarte's dreams may have to wait. He was arrested Friday (3/13) on an outstanding warrant stemming from a domestic abuse case.

Lol'd.