A Public Request To All Server Hosters

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

Just two simple things, really.

1.) Stop putting ****ing bots on your server. Just stop it. Has it ever occurred to you that facing an AI enemy sort of defeats the point of online gaming? No, shut up. **** you. You have no idea how much it pisses me off when I go through three servers where everybody has zero ping and have the intelligence of catfish. If I wanted to play with bots, I'd do so on my own time and energy. At the very least you could put a disclaimer on your server names. So why don't you? Why do you insist on being dicks?

2.) Stop loading your servers with mountains of custom crap that takes me a good fifteen minutes to download. We don't need it. Now, if you think that it's so god damn important to have an announcer yell "Headshot!" every time I make one, then fine. I can put up with four or five sound files. What I won't put up with is wasting my damn time downloading your stupid WAV files for every single god damn incident, no matter how trivial. I don't need any more god damn Simpson quotes because I've heard them all, okay? Yeah, yeah, "Evil Homer" was hilarious about... what, five years ago? We've gotten the ****ing point already. Your godly server of hilarity and fun hijinks is less than the sum of its parts. It's a wasteful heap of bullshit and you should eat your own testicles for creating it.

Please, stop torturing me and many others.

Signed,
Absinthe

bam23 · Sep 23, 2005

And stop putting reserve slots!

Cole · Sep 23, 2005

About the bots, I don't mind them but if I really don't feel like playing with them I select a server that dosn't have bots..... which is exactly what you should do.

Ennui · Sep 23, 2005

lol absinthe i am laughing quite hard now

intelligence of catfishes... lmao

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

Minerel said:
About the bots, I don't mind them but if I really don't feel like playing with them I select a server that dosn't have bots..... which is exactly what you should do.

It's difficult to tell which servers have bots and which ones don't when it's not explicity stated in the server's name.

Computer5k · Sep 23, 2005

Absinthe said:
It's difficult to tell which servers have bots and which ones don't when it's not explicity stated in the server's name.

Right-click on the top bar(with server name, players, ping, etc) and click on bots. Problem solved

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

Computer5k said:
Right-click on the top bar(with server name, players, ping, etc) and click on bots. Problem solved

Honest to God, this is the first time I've heard of that feature. Thanks!

I'll still rag on bot servers out of principle though.

Cole · Sep 23, 2005

I'll still rag on bot servers out of principle though.

I understand what you mean, the only time I see them as usefull is to keep up the server past 0 people so people will actually join it.

Ames · Sep 23, 2005

Absinthe said:
Honest to God, this is the first time I've heard of that feature.

Lies. You already knew about it, you were just waiting for that one person who would come and help. The one person who would trust you no matter what happened. You then contact this person, whether by AIM, MSN, e-mail or any of the various another Internets communication and quickly become e-friends with them. And then, one dark and stormy Sunday night, your plan would be put into action. You two meet up at some bar 5 minutes away to the north, a small establishment with shady folks and various drug dealing criminals. But lo and behold, you kidnap him and tie him up to the washing machine in your basement. You make him your very own sex slave, anally raping him day and night until his anus is nothing more than a quivering bleeding shit hole while sustaining him on protein shakes and V8® 100% Vegetable Juice. But that's not all...not the end for our little slave is it...

You invite all your gay black friends over who repeatedly rape your little sex slave through every orifice they can find, destroying every last scrap of dignity he had. And then, one day, you wake up, black men asleep in every nook and crannie of your basement, bongs and heroin needles strewn across the floor. Your sex slave is lying naked on the floor, dead. You let out a lusty cry from the pits of your soul, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" A shout that jolts awake the numerous horny black men lying there staring at your puny gay body. Oh they get you Absinthe.... They get you good.

I am watching you, Absinthe. I know....I know.

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

:|

What kind of bullcrap is that? I would never do such a thing! What kind of monster do you think I am? You damn idiot.

I invite gay latino friends over. Not blacks.

hungryduck · Sep 23, 2005

I HATE THOSE DAMN WAV FILES.....ugh piss me off.
people who put those on their servers go straight to hell by rule of god.

VictimOfScience · Sep 23, 2005

Absinthe said:
No, shut up. **** you. Why do you insist on being dicks? ...you should eat your own testicles for creating it.

Look, I agree with you. I hate this sort of thing--just happenned this afternoon in fact and it pissed me off immensely, but I have to say that if they are such idiots to load up all that crap on their server, then they are not going to be listening to any advice you may have for them(the testicles bit, for example). I see this thread as more of an opportunity to vent rather than get any good actually accomplished. Misery loves company after all, so we can all get together and whine about it while the admins of these lousy servers just laugh and tell us that if we don't like it, we should just simply play somewhere else. :|

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

VictimOfScience said:
I see this thread as more of an opportunity to vent rather than get any good actually accomplished.

...I thought this was obvious. :\

VictimOfScience · Sep 23, 2005

Absinthe said:
...I thought this was obvious. :\

No, not when you call this thread, "A Public Request To All Server Hosters."

If it was satire you were going for, you could've just called it, "A Modest Proposal." Oh wait...:|

At least the whole "eat your own testicles" bit adds a little Titus Andronicus/Jonathan Swift -ish air to the piece--a good start.

Absinthe · Sep 23, 2005

I figured the overtly hostile nature of the piece would have made it clear.

Then again, I can't really blame people if they can't distinguish that from my normal posting...

xLostx · Sep 23, 2005

sounds like someone got owned by 3 servers full of bots...

DreadLord · Sep 23, 2005

When I was reading this i was thinkin "why doesnt he turn on the bot thing in the server menu.." but it looks like you've got that covered.

About the sounds though, it's ridiculous. No one needs to hear every single Family Guy quote while they play CS.

VictimOfScience · Sep 23, 2005

Absinthe said:
Then again, I can't really blame people if they can't distinguish that from my normal posting...

LOL! QFT. :E

Teta_Bonita · Sep 23, 2005

1) like others have said, right click on the top bar of the server browser and check "bots".
2) http://www.counter-strike-dl.com/download-700.html
Happy now?

Murray_H · Sep 23, 2005

Amen to that, I was going to make a similar rant thread the other day buy my dog exploded

Anyway, I was on a team of 10 the other day on CS. Guess who 8 of my team-mates were? That's right, Billy Bot and his stupid twat of a head. Frigging annoying, they were spasticated beyond all belief except 'Kevin', who was too good!

And the ****ing server content, it is the most annoying thing ever. You wait for so long, get onto the server and then 90% of the time you never even hear the bastard things you spent so long downloading! And no-one cares! Not even the man who cares about everything, I went to his cave and he told the server content people to rape themselves. Unbelievable.

WhiteZero · Sep 23, 2005

Theres a new console command or something you can use so that you never download those retarded custom sounds.
Anyone know what it is?

Teta_Bonita · Sep 23, 2005

cl_allowdownload 0 ?

Javert · Sep 23, 2005

Despite the utter flammatory nature of the post, I have to agree with everything.

Earns my "QFT" medal for the day.

WhiteZero · Sep 23, 2005

Teta_Bonita said:
cl_allowdownload 0 ?

Nah, I think that would stop Map downloads as well.
Theres a way to just stop sound files from Dling.

VictimOfScience · Sep 23, 2005

You should be able to stop sound downloading, etc in your config file. Just mess with it--but make a copy first.

Snakebyte · Sep 23, 2005

cl_downloadfilter "nosounds"

Unfortunately, that only works in Source and not 1.6.

ZoFreX · Sep 24, 2005

ooh good, a way to tell those sounds to go **** themselves. sometimes useful, but mostly they detract from the experience.. and take an age to download. also.. Shens. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??

Gui! · Sep 24, 2005

so what, would you type that command in the console before you start to connect to a server?? and when u connect you dont dl???

Gui! · Sep 24, 2005

so what, would you type that command in the console before you start to connect to a server?? and when u connect you dont dl???

DreadLord · Sep 24, 2005

Nice double post, and no just add it to your config. That anti-sound pack is kind of funny actually, stupid noobs.

Ames · Sep 24, 2005

ZoFreX said:
ooh good, a way to tell those sounds to go **** themselves. sometimes useful, but mostly they detract from the experience.. and take an age to download. also.. Shens. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??

What do you want?

Gui! · Sep 24, 2005

sorry about double post, net was crashing and seemed like it wasnt even gonna post

Lemonking · Sep 24, 2005

you make catfish sad

Beerdude26 · Sep 24, 2005

Pfft, my catfish will pwn you all.

A Public Request To All Server Hosters

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