A Very Trivial Dilemma

[KiplingsCat]

Bear with me while I tell this story, because initially it's going to seem like a tragic sob story about broken families, when in reality, it's about a printer-scanner-photocopier.

A couple of years ago, my dad moved out. When he moved out, he rented his own place, bought his own car and also bought his own printer-scanner-photocopier, among other things. Since then, I have been very under-informed concerning my parents' marital status and have never really felt the need or desire to change this. Sometimes he comes around and stays for a while; sometimes they hardly speak. But I don't really care about that.

Recently, however, he's been around a good bit. He's been staying here every night for the last couple of months. They eat meals together and share a bed. They kiss. To all intents and purposes they have reconciled, although one wouldn't know, and doesn't like to ask.

Now here we come to the actual issue. I'm leaving home in about six weeks. I too will need to purchase some things of my own, such as kitchen utensils, bed linen and a printer-scanner-photocopier. At this time, there are two printer-scanner-photocopiers in my house: our original one, and the one my father bought when he left, but has now brought back with him. As far as I am aware, my parents never print, scan or photocopy at the same time, so they wouldn't have a pressing need for one printer-scanner-photocopier each; provided, of course, that they consider themselves to be a cohabiting couple.

This is the crux of the matter. If they were clearly and openly reconciled, I would simply ask my father for a loan of his printer-scanner-photocopier while I am living away from home next year. However, their reconciliation is ambiguous at best. Yes, he lives here now, but who knows when he's going to leave again and once more have the need for his own printer-scanner-photocopier? In that situation, asking him for a loan of his printer-scanner-photocopier could lead to all sorts of awkward questions and/or revelations that I have no interest in at this time.

So what should I do? Should I just point-blank ask him for his printer-scanner-photocopier? Or should I observe my parents for a couple of weeks to see whether or not they do now share the same printer-scanner-photocopier? Is there any other way I can handle this situation in such a way that I get my printer-scanner-photocopier and no awkward questions have to be asked?

 

[Remus]

So what should I do? Should I just point-blank ask him for his printer-scanner-photocopier?

Yes

char.

 

[Raziaar]

I say make a copy of the better of the two printer-scanner-photocopiers with the other printer-scanner-photocopier and then take all three of them along with you to your new place. Your parents won't notice their missing printer-scanner-photocopiers until such time that they are no longer reconciled. At that point, your father will buy another printer-scanner-photocopier at which point you should probably snatch that one too.

 

[Adabiviak]

Yeah, just ask - you should get two answers for the price of one. Asking to borrow that machine is an innocent enough question.

 

[Pulse]

Printer-scanner-photocopiers can be a touchy subject indeed, especially given the ambiguous and fragile events surrounding these two printer-scanner-photocopiers in particular. The best way to obtain one of aforementioned printer-scanner-photocopiers is first to explain to your father why you need his printer-scanner-photocopier and that you already have two printer-scanner-photocopier's available, therefore lending one printer-scanner-photocopier to you so that you can have your own printer-scanner-photocopier when you move out is only fair because who really needs two printer-scanner-photocopiers anyway? That's one too many printer-scanner-photocopiers for my liking. As long as you stick to discussing printer-scanner-photocopiers and do not deviate away from printer-scanner-photocopiers I think you'll eventually convince your printer-scanner-photocopier possessing father to give you his printer-scanner-photocopier, so you'll be able to print, scan and photocopy to your heart's content.

 

[MiccyNarc]

Yeah, just ask - you should get two answers for the price of one. Asking to borrow that printer-scanner-photocopier is an innocent enough question.

Fixed.

And yes, I would ask about borrowing the aforementioned printer-scanner-photocopier, I doubt he'll go into too much detail (based on your description of the situation) as to why he cannot lend you his printer-scanner-photocopier if he actually is unable to lend you the printer-scanner-photocopier.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Yeah, just ask - you should get two answers for the price of one. Asking to borrow that machine is an innocent enough question.

Yeah well that's what I originally thought too, but then I started hearing what the conversation would sound like in my head and it went something like this:

Me: Can I borrow your printer-scanner-photocopier for the year?

My Father: This printer-scanner-photocopier? But this is my printer-scanner-photocopier. I need it for the work that I apparently do.

Me: But you could just use that one.

Gestures towards second printer-scanner-photocopier in the corner.

My Father: But that's your mother's printer-scanner-photocopier.

At this point, it would be in my father's nature to mention something along the lines of "I don't live here anymore", making me feel very uncomfortable and worried about having pried into his private affairs (not to mention confused, as he clearly does ****ing live here right now for ****'s sake), and then he would continue to live here despite the fact that he thinks he doesn't live here, and one of my parents' two printer-scanner-photocopiers would gather dust in the corner while they shared the other one, so I would be forced to come back home any time I needed to print, scan or photocopy something, thus further limiting my independence.

 

[15357]

Yeah.... that is a pickle. (Is this right? You westerners have the strangest phrases.)


Get a new and better printer scanner photocopier machine thing, name it and love it. It'll be better than a borrowed, surrogate machine, as you'll never love her as one of your own. Trust me.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Can't really afford it...this dilemma is a clash between my two most valued principles: Never spend money if it can be avoided, and never ask my parents questions.

 

[Yuri]

are you sure that this isn't a tragic sob story about broken families?

cuz the answer is extremely simple and totally obvious: ask

 

[KiplingsCat]

But asking him could lead to further awkward questions concerning whether or not he lives here, which is why I hesitate. I honestly couldn't care less where he lives. I just wish it was a little clearer, so I could know whether or not he needs his own printer, as distinct from the one we already have in the house. The whole question of whether or not he needs it is tied up with whether or not he lives here. As far as I'm concerned, to ask about the former raises a question about the latter, which I am intent on never doing.

 

[Evo]

When you mother and father are together in the same room as the printer-scanner-photocopier(s) just mention that you will require a printer-scanner-photocopier for when you move out. At this point, they will give you a brand new third printer-scanner-photocopier.

 

[Stigmata]

But asking him could lead to further awkward questions concerning whether or not he lives here, which is why I hesitate. I honestly couldn't care less where he lives. I just wish it was a little clearer, so I could know whether or not he needs his own printer, as distinct from the one we already have in the house. The whole question of whether or not he needs it is tied up with whether or not he lives here. As far as I'm concerned, to ask about the former raises a question about the latter, which I am intent on never doing.

Enjoy buying a new scanner, then.

[edit] Sorry, I meant "Enjoy buying a new branded, mass-produced electronic printing/scanning/photocopying data-duplication device compatible with your OS of choice from your favourite local or online electronics retailer, then."

 

[Shem]

Enjoy buying a new printer-scanner-photocopier, then.

I fixed that for you. Not only do printer-scanner-photocopiers scan things, but printer-scanner-photocopiers also print and photocopy.

 

[The Monkey]

I feel your pain, printer-scanner-photocopiers do have a tendency to wreck havoc wherever they stick their ugly noses. Alas that your suffering won't be the last, lest the fundamental structures of society is to be annihilated. A necessary evil, I'm afraid.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Ask him. If he points out the other one, tell him you hate him and run away.

 

[Dekstar]

Given how awkward the entire printer-scanner-photocopier situation is, I think you should begin your questioning with:

You: "So are you and mum just ****ing, or are you living together again?"

Him: "What the hell?"

You: "Because I want to borrow your printer-scanner-photocopier."

Having the questioning that way round neatly avoids an answer to the first question by immediately introducing a new one. Fool-proof.

 

[Stigmata]

Dekstar for president.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Given how awkward the entire printer-scanner-photocopier situation is, I think you should begin your questioning with:

You: "So are you and mum just ****ing, or are you living together again?"

Well, I would love to know that.. but it's just idle curiosity. I hear them going into the bedroom together and I'm like, wtf are they really doing in there? But that's a different story for another day. I guess I should just bite the bullet and ask. I really don't want to spend 70 bucks on a new printer-scanner-photocopier.

 

[dfc05]

Could you ask for your mom's printer-scanner-photocopier instead of your dad's? or would that still lead to awkwardness

 

[YROC]

 

[KiplingsCat]

Could you ask for your mom's printer-scanner-photocopier instead of your dad's? or would that still lead to awkwardness

Nah...asking my mother for stuff is never really an option. Anyway, hers isn't that portable...it's pretty big and heavy. And I won't have a lot of space. I wouldn't really mind, it's just that the way I organize my college notes, it's a pretty essential piece of furniture for me, because I scan them all into my computer after class so as not to have to bother carrying them around all the time and potentially (almost certainly) losing them.

 

[Yuri]

But asking him could lead to further awkward questions concerning whether or not he lives here, which is why I hesitate. I honestly couldn't care less where he lives. I just wish it was a little clearer, so I could know whether or not he needs his own printer, as distinct from the one we already have in the house. The whole question of whether or not he needs it is tied up with whether or not he lives here. As far as I'm concerned, to ask about the former raises a question about the latter, which I am intent on never doing.

if you were to just ask for the more portable printer-scanner-copier, the worst that could happen is him responding with "oh no that's mine i need it." that gives you your answer. if you actually didn't care, you wouldn't press the issue any further and the conversation would end right there.

im just sayin, sounds like you do care and dont want to admit it

 

[Krynn72]

I fear I will face a similar dilemma after a couple different move-ins and move-outs. You see, initially we had no printer-scanner-copiers, and instead just a had a single laser printer plus one small photo printer. When I moved out, I bought my first printer-scanner-copier and used that while at school. All was well at this point and when I moved back home for a few months after school, but before getting a job, we had a printer-scanner-copier, a laser printer, and one small photo printer. When I moved out for my job, I decided that I didn't want to pack up my printer-scanner-copier and so I decided to gift it upon my family and just buy a new printer-scanner-copier when I got moved in to my new place. I wanted to ask if I could take the small photo printer however, but I decided against it since I didn't generally print too many photos, at least compared to the rest of my family. I figured a printer-scanner-copier was more than worth this small photo printer and so it would be a fair trade, however I didn't want to leave on a sour note, and should something happen to me I didn't want to be thought of as the kind of person who trades people things they dont need for stuff I want, ya know?

Anyways, I just bought a new printer-scanner-copier when I moved down there. But then I got laid off and moved back home, bringing my new printer-scanner-copier with me. The problem is, my brother asked if he could bring that one with him to university, and not realizing he could have taken the other one, I offered it gladly. So now, when I get another job and move back out, I will be in the unenviable position of having to do one of several uneasy things. My first option would be to ask for the printer-scanner-copier that I gifted to my family, thus leaving them with only a laser printer and a small photo printer, neither of which have scanner-copier abilities. Or I could ask for the printer-scanner-copier back that I loaned to my brother during a time when he may very well need a printer-scanner-copier. My last option would leave my familial credibility in-tact but cost me the price of a brand new printer-scanner-copier.

So it goes without saying, I'm quite interested in seeing how your printer-scanner-copier situation resolves, as I can have more information on how to proceed with my own printer-scanner-copier dilemma.

 

[Yuri]

does anyone else think of cat nail clippings littering the ground when they read KiplingsCat?

i do.

anyway good luck with your printer-scanner-copier. i hope you and your dog friend find a good solution to your much-too-advanced-for-pets dilemmas

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Printer-scanner-photocopiers can be a touchy subject indeed, especially given the ambiguous and fragile events surrounding these two printer-scanner-photocopiers in particular. The best way to obtain one of aforementioned printer-scanner-photocopiers is first to explain to your father why you need his printer-scanner-photocopier and that you already have two printer-scanner-photocopier's available, therefore lending one printer-scanner-photocopier to you so that you can have your own printer-scanner-photocopier when you move out is only fair because who really needs two printer-scanner-photocopiers anyway? That's one too many printer-scanner-photocopiers for my liking. As long as you stick to discussing printer-scanner-photocopiers and do not deviate away from printer-scanner-photocopiers I think you'll eventually convince your printer-scanner-photocopier possessing father to give you his printer-scanner-photocopier, so you'll be able to print, scan and photocopy to your heart's content.

**** you

I fear I will face a similar dilemma after a couple different move-ins and move-outs. You see, initially we had no printer-scanner-copiers, and instead just a had a single laser printer plus one small photo printer. When I moved out, I bought my first printer-scanner-copier and used that while at school. All was well at this point and when I moved back home for a few months after school, but before getting a job, we had a printer-scanner-copier, a laser printer, and one small photo printer. When I moved out for my job, I decided that I didn't want to pack up my printer-scanner-copier and so I decided to gift it upon my family and just buy a new printer-scanner-copier when I got moved in to my new place. I wanted to ask if I could take the small photo printer however, but I decided against it since I didn't generally print too many photos, at least compared to the rest of my family. I figured a printer-scanner-copier was more than worth this small photo printer and so it would be a fair trade, however I didn't want to leave on a sour note, and should something happen to me I didn't want to be thought of as the kind of person who trades people things they dont need for stuff I want, ya know?

Anyways, I just bought a new printer-scanner-copier when I moved down there. But then I got laid off and moved back home, bringing my new printer-scanner-copier with me. The problem is, my brother asked if he could bring that one with him to university, and not realizing he could have taken the other one, I offered it gladly. So now, when I get another job and move back out, I will be in the unenviable position of having to do one of several uneasy things. My first option would be to ask for the printer-scanner-copier that I gifted to my family, thus leaving them with only a laser printer and a small photo printer, neither of which have scanner-copier abilities. Or I could ask for the printer-scanner-copier back that I loaned to my brother during a time when he may very well need a printer-scanner-copier. My last option would leave my familial credibility in-tact but cost me the price of a brand new printer-scanner-copier.

So it goes without saying, I'm quite interested in seeing how your printer-scanner-copier situation resolves, as I can have more information on how to proceed with my own printer-scanner-copier dilemma.

...and **** you.

Printers suck. Goddamn contraptions.

 

[KiplingsCat]

im just sayin, sounds like you do care and dont want to admit it

No.

I knew somebody would be determined to read the situation like this I mean yes, obviously, I have issues with my parents, who doesn't? But their living arrangement has never really been one of them. I don't care who lives where. We're all grown ups who can look after ourselves. However, I still view it as being a slightly sensitive subject for them and as such it is on my "never bring these subjects up" list.

If I have any sort of bias or secret unsaid desire at all, it's that he would leave again and everything would go back to the way it was, because the house is really too small for the three of us, and he messes up the damn kitchen every time he so much as makes a bowl of porridge. But that's kind of irrelevant really, as I'll be leaving home myself soon. All I want here is a printer-scanner-photocopier. But the question of whether or not he needs it hinges directly on whether or not he now considers himself a resident of the family home, which is on the "never bring these subjects up" list, which is why I don't want to bring it up.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Sounds like if the 'elephant in the room' isn't talked about in this situation, it will only be more awkward until it's eventually inevitable or some new development occurs. I'd say just to talk about it straightforward if that's going to keep lingering in your mind. If not, just ask for the object in question nonchalantly and keep it all on that subject alone.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Yeah you're probably right, DEATHMASTER. It is something I would ultimately like to ask, precisely to prevent situations like this from arising in the future. However, I'd rather not involve the printer-scanner-photocopier in the matter. My short-term goal here is just to get my printer-scanner-photocopier and move out.

anyway good luck with your printer-scanner-copier. i hope you and your dog friend find a good solution to your much-too-advanced-for-pets dilemmas

Cats can use printers!

Edit: By the way Krynn, your problem highlights the other side of this problem: What if my father gives me his printer-scanner-photocopier and then realizes he doesn't actually want to live with my mother anymore, moves out, and finds himself once more living alone without the ability to print, scan or photocopy? Then he's gonna have to ask for it back, and the whole situation will rear its ugly head once more. I'll keep you updated on the matter, as naturally I empathize with anyone else in a tricky printer-scanner-photocopier situation similar to mine.

 

[15357]

God damn it woman , if you want to avoid having to talk about the problem with your father, borrow your mother's.


Or shell out a few.... dollars? Pounds? Euro? for a lovely copier of your own who will love you and only you. Name her Charlene and bed with her, it's yours, and your own and nobody can take her away from you, unlike the bastard photocopier that is your father's mistress.

I also completely understand that you don't want to spend money, but I think that it might just be worth not having to face an uncomfortable situation and be at peace. That might be because I tend to abhor uncomfortable situations and peace, but there are advantages to having a brand new something of your own, you must admit.

 

[KiplingsCat]

God damn it woman , if you want to avoid having to talk about the problem with your father, borrow your mother's.


Or shell out a few.... dollars? Pounds? Euro? for a lovely copier of your own who will love you and only you. Name her Charlene and bed with her, it's yours, and your own and nobody can take her away from you, unlike the bastard photocopier that is your father's mistress.

I also completely understand that you don't want to spend money, but I think that it might just be worth not having to face an uncomfortable situation and be at peace. That might be because I tend to abhor uncomfortable situations and peace, but there are advantages to having a brand new something of your own, you must admit.

Asking my mother for stuff is a different story altogether. As a general rule, I simply don't.

It would be nice to have my own one, I guess. Above all else, I'd be able to keep it forever as you say.

Ooooooh maybe I could mention to my father that I intend to buy myself a printer-scanner-photocopier of my own. Then, if he doesn't need his, he'll offer a lend of it to me, and if he does need it, he won't. No questions would have to be asked

 

[KiplingsCat]

So I went to my dad and I was all like 'Oh where did you get that printer-scanner-photocopier because it's really nice and I need to get one for my apartment and I could use some printer-scanner-photocopier shopping advice" and he told me where he got it and then talked for like five minutes about how good a printer-scanner-photocopier it was, and then I said "what about mum's printer-scanner-photocopier, is that better or worse than your printer-scanner-photocopier?" and he said "no, it's just as good" and then, as if it was dawning on him from nowhere, he said "huh...you could just take my one actually, if you wanted".

So the deal is pretty much sealed. I'm getting my printer-scanner-photocopier, and it would seem that my parents are on printer-scanner-photocopier-sharing terms again. Hurrah!

 

[CptStern]

Bear with me while I tell this story, because initially it's going to seem like a tragic sob story about broken families, when in reality, it's about a printer-scanner-photocopier.

A couple of years ago, my dad moved out. When he moved out, he rented his own place, bought his own car and also bought his own printer-scanner-photocopier, among other things. Since then, I have been very under-informed concerning my parents' marital status and have never really felt the need or desire to change this. Sometimes he comes around and stays for a while; sometimes they hardly speak. But I don't really care about that.

Recently, however, he's been around a good bit. He's been staying here every night for the last couple of months. They eat meals together and share a bed. They kiss. To all intents and purposes they have reconciled, although one wouldn't know, and doesn't like to ask.

Now here we come to the actual issue. I'm leaving home in about six weeks. I too will need to purchase some things of my own, such as kitchen utensils, bed linen and a printer-scanner-photocopier. At this time, there are two printer-scanner-photocopiers in my house: our original one, and the one my father bought when he left, but has now brought back with him. As far as I am aware, my parents never print, scan or photocopy at the same time, so they wouldn't have a pressing need for one printer-scanner-photocopier each; provided, of course, that they consider themselves to be a cohabiting couple.

This is the crux of the matter. If they were clearly and openly reconciled, I would simply ask my father for a loan of his printer-scanner-photocopier while I am living away from home next year. However, their reconciliation is ambiguous at best. Yes, he lives here now, but who knows when he's going to leave again and once more have the need for his own printer-scanner-photocopier? In that situation, asking him for a loan of his printer-scanner-photocopier could lead to all sorts of awkward questions and/or revelations that I have no interest in at this time.

So what should I do? Should I just point-blank ask him for his printer-scanner-photocopier? Or should I observe my parents for a couple of weeks to see whether or not they do now share the same printer-scanner-photocopier? Is there any other way I can handle this situation in such a way that I get my printer-scanner-photocopier and no awkward questions have to be asked?

in the time it took you to write this post you could have .....


seriously you seem more concerned about the printer-scanner-photocopier than your parents getting back together. just ask your dad if you can borrow the printer-scanner-photocopier either his printer-scanner-photocopier or the printer-scanner-photocopier you had before your dad moved out with his new printer-scanner-photocopier

 

[KiplingsCat]

seriously you seem more concerned about the printer-scanner-photocopier than your parents getting back together.

Well...yeah, kinda. I mean, I never really thought their break-up was much of a tragedy, nor do I consider their (tenuous) reconciliation to be a huge cause for celebration. I'm neutral. I don't mind what they do as long as it works and they're happy, and in the meantime, I have problems of my own to attend to, so I don't spend too much time thinking about who's sleeping where.

Also, did you read my previous post about how I had tactfully resolved the situation?

(By the way, I don't consider the time I spent writing that post as time wasted. I like to write down things that are in my head).

 

[Bad^Hat]

So I went to my dad and I was all like 'Oh where did you get that printer-scanner-photocopier because it's really nice and I need to get one for my apartment and I could use some printer-scanner-photocopier shopping advice" and he told me where he got it and then talked for like five minutes about how good a printer-scanner-photocopier it was, and then I said "what about mum's printer-scanner-photocopier, is that better or worse than your printer-scanner-photocopier?" and he said "no, it's just as good" and then, as if it was dawning on him from nowhere, he said "huh...you could just take my one actually, if you wanted".

So the deal is pretty much sealed. I'm getting my printer-scanner-photocopier, and it would seem that my parents are on printer-scanner-photocopier-sharing terms again. Hurrah!

Smooth. Congrats on your new printer-scanner-photocopier.

I can sympathize with not being concerned about your parents' relationship. Mine have separated and reconciliated so many times that I'm beyond caring. All I really care about is that I still have a good relationship with both of them, regardless of what's happening between them.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Smooth. Congrats on your new printer-scanner-photocopier.

I can sympathize with not being concerned about your parents' relationship. Mine have separated and reconciliated so many times that I'm beyond caring. All I really care about is that I still have a good relationship with both of them, regardless of what's happening between them.

Exactly. I mean, we're all grown-ups here, it's not like I need them to be together. Actually, when they split up, my relationship with my mother drastically improved. And soon I'll be moving out, and most likely never really coming back permanently. So now I have my printer-scanner-photocopier and it's all good.

 

[Eejit]

This is one of the best sagas about printer-scanner-photocopiers I've ever read. Top 10 for sure.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Is this a metaphor?

 

[KiplingsCat]

Is this a metaphor?

Hell no.

Seriously. All I want is to print some stuff without shelling out 70 bucks.

 

[CptStern]

(By the way, I don't consider the time I spent writing that post as time wasted. I like to write down things that are in my head).

so do I but I usually end up erasing it as I dont want incriminating evidence just lying about