Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow

I'm sure there's some point to it...

But I can't see it.

Nothing weirder than an inscrutable research project...
 
Finally, an answer to the question that has plagued man, kings and peasents alike, for so many centuries.
 
Originally posted by Direwolf
Finally, an answer to the question that has plagued man, kings and peasents alike, for so many centuries.
Click to expand...

You won't be saying that when one day, for no apparent reason, you find yourself needing to know the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow.
 
Great, now I know how far to lead the thing next time I shoot it with a bb gun.
 
Oh my god, you people are so ignorant some times...go watch Monty Python's Quest For the holy Grail......

and then come back..... ;)
 
Originally posted by MrD
You won't be saying that when one day, for no apparent reason, you find yourself needing to know the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow.
Click to expand...

personally, i'm more concerned about that rabbit.
 
aahhhhh... a movie quote !

let's try this one:

" These chicks cannot hold their smoke, that's what it is"


EDIT: that lil' cute white rabbit prevented me from walking in a 6 mile radius from it for a couple of weeks shitscared as I was
 
" ANOTHER MONK
(reading from bible)
And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying
"O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and
people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies
and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...

BROTHER MAYNARD
Skip a bit brother ...

ANOTHER MONK
... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more,
no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the
number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count,
neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number,
be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

:LOL: Seriously has to be one of my favourite films, British comedy at its best.
 
Help! Help! I'm being opressed!
She turned me into a newt!..........*stares*..........Well I got better.
 
Originally posted by Stone
Oh my god, you people are so ignorant some times...go watch Monty Python's Quest For the holy Grail......

and then come back..... ;)
Click to expand...

I'm ignorant cause I can't remember a quote from a movie that was made before I was even born?
 
great movie. I have the special edition DVD, and it has so many cool features, such as the whole camelot song and scene. in Lego. :D

In my logic class we diagramed the witch argument. It was invalid. :(
 
A village. Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp
cracks. It comes nearer. We see it is a line of MONKS ala SEVENTH SEAL
flagellation scene, chanting and banging themselves on the foreheads with
wooden boards. They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful
YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets. They drag her to a
strange house/ruin standing on a hill outside the village. A
strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.

FIRST VILLAGER
We have found a witch. May we burn her?

ALL
A Witch! Burn her!

BEDEVERE
How do you know she is a witch?

ALL
She looks like one. Yes, she does.

BEDEVERE
Bring her forward.

They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up
as a witch.

WITCH
I am not a witch. I am not a witch.

BEDEVERE
But you are dressed as one.

WITCH
They dressed me up like this.

ALL
We didn't, we didn't!

WITCH
This is not my nose, It is a false one.

BEDEVERE takes her nose off.

BEDEVERE
Well?

FIRST VILLAGER
... Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE
The nose?

FIRST VILLAGER
And the hat. But she is a witch.

ALL
A witch, a witch, burn her!

BEDEVERE
Did you dress her up like this?

FIRST VILLAGER
... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.

BEDEVERE
Why do you think she is a witch?

SECOND VILLAGER
She turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE
A newt?

SECOND VILLAGER
(After looking at himself for some time)
I got better.

ALL
Burn her anyway.

BEDEVERE
Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest

ALL
There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?

BEDEVERE
Tell me ... what do you do with witches?

ALL
Burn them.

BEDEVERE
And what do you burn, apart from witches?

FOURTH VILLAGER
... Wood?

BEDEVERE
So why do witches burn?

SECOND VILLAGER
(pianissimo)
... Because they're made of wood...?

BEDEVERE
Good.

PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion.

ALL
I see. Yes, of course.

BEDEVERE
So how can we tell if she is made of wood?

FIRST VILLAGER
Make a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE
Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

ALL
Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...

BEDEVERE
Does wood sink in water?

ALL
No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond Tie weights on her. To
the pond.

BEDEVERE
Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?

ALL
Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ...

ARTHUR
A duck.

They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up very impressed.

BEDEVERE
Exactly. So... logically ...

FIRST VILLAGER
(beginning to pick up the thread)
If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE
And therefore?

ALL
A witch! ... A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck.

FOURTH VILLAGER
Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere.

BEDEVERE
We shall use my largest scales.

He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption indeed, made of
wood and rope and leather. They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck
in another. Each pan is supported by a wooden stave. BEDEVERE checks
each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with interest.

BEDEVERE
Remove the supports.

Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. The GIRL and the duck
swing slightly but balance perfectly.

ALL
A witch! A witch!

WITCH
It's a fair cop.

All
Burn her! Burn her! Let's make her into a ladder.

The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and BEDEVERE regarding
each other admiringly.


READ IT, IT MAKES PERECT SENSE...

on and IAmIronSam if your british it makes you ignorant, because it is one of the sources of british humour...if not....welll meh :p
 
ARTHUR:
What?
TIM:
There he is!
ARTHUR:
Where?
TIM:
There!
ARTHUR:
What, behind the rabbit?
TIM:
It is the rabbit.
ARTHUR:
You silly sod!
TIM:
What?
ARTHUR:
You got us all worked up!
TIM:
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
TIM:
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
ROBIN:
You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!
TIM:
Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
GALAHAD:
Get stuffed!
TIM:
He'll do you up a treat, mate.
GALAHAD:
Oh, yeah?
ROBIN:
You mangy Scots git!
TIM:
I'm warning you!
ROBIN:
What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM:
He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

ARTHUR:
Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS:
Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM:
Look!
[squeak]
BORS:
Aaaugh!

[dramatic chord]
[clunk]
ARTHUR:
Jesus Christ!
TIM:
I warned you!
ROBIN:
I done it again!
TIM:
I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--
Click to expand...

God bless this movie.
 
Even if you're an American you're still ignorant.
Go rent it now.
 
I've seen the damn movie, I just haven't taken the time to submit the entire thing to memory. Infact, I've never taken the time to submit anything to memory.
 
All in a day's work for... Puzzle-A-Poster.

*Puzzle-A-Poster is a division of Confuse-A-Cat Ltd.
 
Originally posted by thenerdguy
Monty python rocks! Best movie ever!
Click to expand...

hehe, I haven't watch this movie in probably a year, but I've seen it probably 5+ times. Good Stuff! And the person that made that website has too much time on their hands. lol
 
Originally posted by Bedwetting Type
<----- A shrubbery for whoever can spot the line my name is from.
Click to expand...

you mean, "your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry you tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms! now go away before I taunt you a second time you english bedwetting type!"?

you can go ahead and keep the shrubbery, i live in cleveland!
 
Originally posted by Lil' Timmy
you mean, "your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberry you tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms! now go away before I taunt you a second time you english bedwetting type!"?

you can go ahead and keep the shrubbery, i live in cleveland.
Click to expand...

-5 points for misspelling of hamster
 
what are you talking about nw909? can't you read?

p.s. i edited my earlier post to add emphasis to cleveland. but that's all. nw909 is some sort of psycho, probably stemming from the trauma he endured by being poked in the belly repeatedly his whole, sad, pathetic life.
 
Originally posted by Lil' Timmy
what are you talking about nw909? can't you read?

p.s. i edited my earlier post to add emphasis to cleveland. but that's all. nw909 is some sort of psycho, probably stemming from the trauma he endured by being poked in the belly repeatedly his whole, sad, pathetic life.
Click to expand...

-10 points for trying to make a joke covering your use of the edit button...lol
 
We are no longer the knights who say ni!

(little ones) ni! ni! ...ooh shh shh
 
Originally posted by destrukt
Monty Python is 1 of the greatest shows/movies ever...
Click to expand...

Don't forget the CD's, soooo good. Although some of it is from the shows.... still great!
 
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