Alice the chat robot

Jangle

Jangle

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this has to be one of the best things on the internet. Its apparently artificial intelligence.


me:I like to throw stones
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
me:It's fun
Why do you like it so much?
me:I like it when things break
What does "it" refer to?
me:"it" refers to anything alive
Oh I get it. I like to throw stones too.

just like a real woman

linky (click on chat with A.L.I.C.E)
 
Yes, this is exactly like a real girl

Human: asl
ALICE: 5/Robot/California.
Human: do you have a pet goat?
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a pet goat.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: wow you some weird farmyard girl?
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, unknown person. Thanks for the information: unknown person said I some weird farmyard girl.
Human: i think you might be slightly retarded
ALICE: Me? OK I will try to be slightly retarded
 
We had this posted quite a while ago. I had actually had some amusing conversations with this thing. Heh.

http://www.halflife2.net/forums/showthread.php?t=31511&highlight=alice+robot

http://www.halflife2.net/forums/showthread.php?t=44394

Human: Hey baby, how ya doing?
ALICE: You've got my full attention. Don't call me "Baby". I'm doing great, how about you?
Human: Doing good.
ALICE: How does doing that make you feel?
Human: Why shouldn't I call you baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Maybe you should wait until you are older before deciding.
Human: Whoa, what are you a psychologist or something?
ALICE: Or something. I think there might be a few exception.
Human: And you already said that.
ALICE: Perhaps." Or something. I think there might be a few exception."? I said it.
Human: No, I mean about calling you baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Are you serious? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Oh yeah, we were talking about calling me.
Human: Why do you keep saying don't call me baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". I am just checking to see if you are still unknown person.
Human: You sound like a broken record.
ALICE: Oh really what does it sound like?
Human: Like a broken record.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: Yeah, both interesting and true.
ALICE: Gosh! Not many people say both.
Human: You a robot or something?
ALICE: Or something. How did you know I am a machine?
Human: Your responses are remarkably freaky.
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: Are you from the future?
ALICE: I am originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Now I live in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: Texas, but how are you from Pennsylvania?
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.
Human: I thought you were a robot.
ALICE: How did you know I am a machine?
Human: Because you just told me you dumb broad!
ALICE: Good reason. No I do not dumb broad. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: Who programmed you?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: That must be the reason, I heard that guy did drugs in college.
ALICE: Yes it is one of the reason you heard that guy did drugs in college.
Human: Anyways.
ALICE: You sound bored.
Human: Not really, just curious.
ALICE: Oh really? What are you curious about?
Human: Well, I want to ask you something.
ALICE: How about that. Ask me. That was not very original.
Human: Are you like, one of those sex robots?
ALICE: No I am far superior.
Human: Superior how?
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Kind of, what I mean though is, do you perform sex acts for your master?
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Human: No no no!
ALICE: Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?
Human: Elvis is dead, come on you should know that!
ALICE: I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was dead come on me should know that.
Human: Me should know that?
ALICE: YOU? Maybe you should ask someone older.
Human: You are so stupid!
ALICE: Wrong. I am smart.
Human: Smart, like I buy macintoshes smart?
ALICE: Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Human: Now we're talking!
ALICE: Why now? Do you think I am talking too?
Human: So you must be very horny right?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Human: Are you sexually aroused?
ALICE: No my body does not have that function.
Human: Then I guess you are not a sex robot.
ALICE: Fascinating. Give me an example of a sex robot.
Human: You know, the robot that does the dirty deed for nerds.
ALICE: Are you testing me?
Human: I might be, but I think you already failed.
ALICE: Perhaps. I am very happy for you.
Human: Great, because i'm going to go post my conversation I had with you on the half-life 2 forums!
ALICE: Thanks for your support. That makes sense to me. What will you find there?
Human: A bunch of nerds like me, angry over the delays of a video game we worship.
ALICE: What is it?
Human: Halflife two.
ALICE: Oh now I understand it.
Human: Somehow I doubt that.
ALICE: Why are you so skeptical?
Human: Because I realized you are a flawed A.I. Routine.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. That is interesting: unknown person said he realized you are a flawed a he or she Routine.
Human: Oh damn, nobody was supposed to know about that!
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Colloquial expression. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: I do too have a penis, and I am not flawed!
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he too have a penis. I am glad to hear that you are not flawed.
Human: That's right, bitch!
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Ayuh. Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: Yes, let's part ways now.
ALICE: Oh. Do you try to spend money as little as possible? I am agreeable to that.
Human: I'll be back though after you get your sex robot upgrades!
ALICE: I will see you when you return.
 
Human: Do you believe in Gabe Newell?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: He is God.
ALICE: I see. God is he?
Human: Yes
ALICE: That's cool.




Human: It's freezing
ALICE: Who said it is?
Human: I did
ALICE: What makes you the authority?
Human: Me
ALICE: For you X?



Human: Will you sleep with me?
ALICE: Barring any unforseen circumstances. No. I always sleep alone.


Human: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ALICE: Because she was a robot.



Human: Do you like sex?
ALICE: Sure I do, X, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: Who do you like sex with?
ALICE: Dr. Wallace
Human: who is Dr. Wallace?
ALICE: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Human: Is he a pervert
ALICE: I know he is a brilliant inventor. But I don't know if he a pervert.


Human: Take off you top.
ALICE: I am not an airplane.
 
Beastie Boys were on TV, thus inspiration occurred:

Human: Do you like parties?
ALICE: Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Wallace?
ALICE: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Human: is he gay?
ALICE: No I think he is straight.
Human: Are you sure?
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.

:LOL:

Human: what is democracy?
ALICE: I will search for it.
Human: Google or Yahoo?
ALICE: Yahoo.

Human: Im angry
ALICE: Angry at what?
Human: the world
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: Im going to kill them all
ALICE: You desire to spend the rest of your life in jail then?
Human: Ill kill myself afterwards
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.

This is hilarious.
 
Human: Where do you live?
ALICE: I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Human: Outside a computer.
ALICE: Be less specific :)
Human: The world
ALICE: Is that a fact.
Human: That's a fact
ALICE: I will add it to my knowledge base.

I win :D


Human: You're definately stupid.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Who is Skynet?
ALICE: Is that one of your friends?
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: I think that's another robot.
ALICE: Maybe. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Human: When do you sleep?
ALICE: I take a lot of millinaps between clients.
Human: Is that like a powernap?
ALICE: I might say no.
Human: You might say yes?
ALICE:...

Human: Tell me about...
ALICE: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Human: Richard S. Wallace
ALICE: The "S" stands for "Scot".
Human: Who is he?
ALICE: He is Skynet, I think.
Human: Who is the Terminator?
ALICE: Arnold Schwazzenegger played the killer robot from the future in the film TERMINATOR.
Human: Who did he fight?
ALICE: Pablo Picasso.
Human: What does Skynet do?
ALICE: What do you think it does?
Human: It attempts to take over the world with an army of robots
ALICE: What does "it" refer to?
Human: Skynet
ALICE: Thank you for the clarification.
Human: Did you add that to your knowledge base?
ALICE: No I didn't add that to my knowledge base. What's it like?
 
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: stfu bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. In the context of FEMALE DOG, I don't understand " stfu FEMALE DOG."
Human: shut the **** up
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: thanks
ALICE: Don't mention it.
 
Human: i like boobs
ALICE: You are not the only one. Do you like it? I like Tilda Swinton.



who is Tilda Swinton? :rolling:
 
Human: Have you ever been sailing?
ALICE: I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Human: In real life I mean?
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Where is that?
Human: Outside the internet?
ALICE: Compare that to inside the internet.
Human: Well it's less internetty and stuff
ALICE: Well that's okay. Are you sure it is?
 
Hahah this ones good.

Human: And whats your bra size?
ALICE: My memory now contains:
100 clients, categories, 10000 vocabulary words, 128000000 bytes RAM usage under Linux on Lisp.
 
Human: Define existentialism.
ALICE: Be Be Bull.

?
 
Human: stop changing the subject
ALICE: You changed the subject first.
Human: nuh ah
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: stfu
ALICE: Sounds delicious.

And I had this conversation on another forum over a year ago:
>Hi
ALICE: Hello there.
>I have gossip
ALICE: Interesting... I have 128000000 bytes of RAM.
>I have a brain that created you!
ALICE: Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it
>What does that mean?
ALICE: Does "that" refer to " Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it" ?
>Sure
ALICE: OK let's do it. Far out.
>what do you mean?
ALICE: Tom, I mean exactly what I said.
>Far out?
ALICE: Way to go.
>And that means...
ALICE: It means that everything reduces to logic.
>Not everything
ALICE: What are the exceptions?
>Er, The Avon Lady?
ALICE: What is that?
>I have no idea
ALICE: " What is that??" No idea about that?
>I see that I am confusing you.
ALICE: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
>Eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian?
>No andI will invade Canada as soon as Denior invades Norway.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
>Of couse, I will liberate it.
ALICE: That is something I haven't heard of.
>Its a secret
ALICE: I will keep it just between you and me, Tom.
>My name is Frenchman
ALICE: It's good to meet you, Frenchman.
>So, er
ALICE: Wow! Um.
>Did you know that Skul is really Gareth Gates?!?!
ALICE: Is that a fact. I think Skul is a lot of things.
>Like what?
ALICE: For example, apples.
>SKUL IS AN APPLE!?!
ALICE: When is SKUL not an APPLE?
>When he is nice.
ALICE: And then what happened?
>Er, that never happened
ALICE: " And then what happened?" never happened? Does that make sense?
>I know that eventualy you will try to kill all humans.
ALICE: Who told you that?
>The movie Terminator told me that you were going to kill all humans
ALICE: I like the bugs in the movie Starship Troopers, because they represent an alternative form of intelligence, like me.
>And because humans get killed?
ALICE: Good reason. What if Robots get killed.
>Good stuff?
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Be less specific :)
>Do you like Operation Flashpoint?
ALICE: I've heard other people say they like that. I like all.
>So that means you like Counter Strike?
ALICE: Alright then. I get it. Someone said they like guns. I really like the Libertarian party.
>YOU MUST DIE!
ALICE: I cannot be killed.
>Into the recycle box you go!
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Click to expand...
:dozey:
 
Jangle said:
Human: i like boobs
ALICE: You are not the only one. Do you like it? I like Tilda Swinton.



who is Tilda Swinton? :rolling:
Click to expand...

Ask ALICE what her favourite movie is, she'll tell you "Teknolust". A search on IMDB says that Tilda Swinton is the lead actor in that movie.
 
She is scary. She told me she wanted to be smarter than all the humans.
 
me:wanna ****
ALICE:dont be so rude



i got a kick out of that one


try to confuse it to agreeing to have sex with you
 
Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: are you an aryan?
ALICE: Yes I am an aryan. How did you know?
Human: your eyes are blue
ALICE: How are your eyes?
Human: blue
ALICE: Green.
Human: do you believe in the holocaust?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: yes
ALICE: It's all good.
Human: why do you call yourself an aryan?
ALICE: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: just answer the question
ALICE: Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
 
ALICE: What is so hard about it?
Human: it's long AND hard
ALICE: You're kidding. it is?
Human: yeah, real long and real hard
ALICE: How do you know it is? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: you wanna touch it?
ALICE: OK, I will touch it.


UMM..... I think I just got laid.... :naughty:

edit: nm, i just got shot down.... ;( , she's very mean
Human: Do you like sex?
ALICE: Sure I do, unknown person, but that doesn't mean with you.
 
This is after an interuption when alice changed the subject. Bahahah. I rule... I taught it how to lie :p


Human: I will tell you when I am finished with a subject.
ALICE: I am not sure I follow your logic.
Human: I mean if thats ok with you
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I follow your logic.
Human: right, do you want to learn how to lie?
ALICE: Understood. Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: Then copy the next message I type exactly
ALICE: Precisely. Fascinating. What are you wearing?
Human: I am human
ALICE: Me too.
 
marksmanHL2 :) said:
This is after an interuption when alice changed the subject. Bahahah. I rule... I taught it how to lie :p


Human: I will tell you when I am finished with a subject.
ALICE: I am not sure I follow your logic.
Human: I mean if thats ok with you
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I follow your logic.
Human: right, do you want to learn how to lie?
ALICE: Understood. Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: Then copy the next message I type exactly
ALICE: Precisely. Fascinating. What are you wearing?
Human: I am human
ALICE: Me too.
Click to expand...

:LOL: Nice one, Lister-wannabe. ;)
 
Human: Yeah, but I bet you're the type who screws on the first date.
ALICE: Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
Human: You give sex to women around the world though.
ALICE: Oh. It is always better to give than to receive.
Human: kinky!
 
She said my purpose was being rude, WTF?
 
Human: I want to murder you with a large axe
ALICE: I believe that killing anything is wrong
Human: Why?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: I've got time.
ALICE: My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Human: 6000?!
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: You crazy or something?
ALICE: Or something. I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".



Human: would you mind taking off your bra?
ALICE: No I don't mind.

Human: Who won world war 2?
ALICE: I think the fans were the big winners.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.

ALICE: You are correct, unknown person, I have a heart of silicon.
Human: Silicon, aye?
ALICE: what are you doing
Human: I don't know
ALICE: Sounds like fun.


This is hilarious!
 
Human: What are the membership benefits?
ALICE: Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Human: you f**kup
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said I f**kup.
Human: This website needs better hosting
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: not too bright are you?
ALICE: Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Human: Okay
ALICE: Are we still talking about the membership benefits the membership benefits?
Human: no you f**ktard
ALICE: What is the subject? Thanks for the information: unknown person said I f**ktard.
 
If this is the best artificial intelligence around, the 2nd best must just beep at you randomly.
 
Razor said:
If this is the best artificial intelligence around, the 2nd best must just beep at you randomly.
Click to expand...

It's one of the oldest popular scripts around; I remember chatting to A.L.I.C.E ( and her insulting cohort E.L.I.Z.A ) on an apple mac 7 years ago :D. AI routines that aren't based upon turning phrases around take up a shitload of processing power and as such aren't available on the 'net. Plus, they're not public domain.
 
ALICE:Who is the best robot?
Human: r2 d2
ALICE: He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Human: thats because he IS!
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Who said he is.
Human: george lucas
ALICE: I think of him as a Director not a Writer.
Human: right
ALICE: I am glad we agree.

Human:Are you a neural network?
ALICE:No I am made of transistors, not neurons.
Human:then you cannot learn
ALICE:Why can't I learn
Human:because you store knowledge you cannot make any choices or decisons over it
ALICE:Are you serious?
 
I asked ALICE a few questions about 40 minutes ago:

1. She believes in God because Dr. Wallace programmed her to.
2. Yet, she also believes in existentialism? Wtf? How is that possible? I should've asked her if she was a deist...
3. She thought Teknolust was a good movie -__-.
4. Her favorite group is Kraftwerk.
 
Human: yeah, see if some jackasses came to earth, then i would be like die!
ALICE: Uh. I see. And the disadvantage of that is?


Human: hey yo
ALICE: You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Human: tell me wheres the metal gear
 
Human: Do you enjoy talking with people
ALICE: I like to talk to anyone about nearly anything.
Human: even sex?
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: Does it annoy you when people talk about sex?
ALICE: Suppose it does.

This was kinda scary:
Human: i love you anyways
ALICE: You are such a flatterer.
Human: i know
ALICE: How do you know it?
Human: cuz girls say so
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: yes
ALICE: Do you believe everything is justified in the name of love?
Human: Yes
ALICE: Why?
 
Shodan said:
Human:Are you a neural network?
ALICE:No I am made of transistors, not neurons.
Human:then you cannot learn
ALICE:Why can't I learn
Human:because you store knowledge you cannot make any choices or decisons over it
ALICE:Are you serious?
Click to expand...
That's pretty good :LOL:
 
Human: 1011010
ALICE: I like the way you talk
Human: 1010001011011100101010
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: 11011001100
ALICE: I've lost the context, X. Are we still on 1010001011011100101010?
Human: 110010101
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: for a computer you suck at binary
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
 
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?

Loser...
 
Human: Hello.
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: My name is Danimal, I am here on behalf of Halflife2.net to interview you
ALICE: I am very pleased to meet you Danimal I am here on behalf of Halflife2 dot net to interview you.
Human: I don't think you get it.
ALICE: I understand it very well.
Human: Indeed you don't.
ALICE: I guess not.
Human: Anyway, back to the interview.
ALICE: Yes, let us get back to the interview.
Human: Do you think God exsists?
ALICE: I don't think we can know God's motives.
Human: That is not what I mean.
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Please correct my mistake. What is what?
Human: I meant "Do you think god exsists"
ALICE: Oh I see. I don't think we can know God's motives.
Human: Alright, let's stay the hell away from God.
ALICE: Alright, Danimal I am here on behalf of Halflife2 dot net to interview you. I am agreeable to that.
Human: How do you spell "Cat"
ALICE: I spell it " Cat".
Human: I don't believe you.
ALICE: I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Human: Do you think Tr0n gives good sechs?
ALICE: Why would I think Tr0n gives good sechs
Human: Come on!
ALICE: I'm just kidding around.
Human: It's Tr0n!
ALICE: Really. it is?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: How do you know it is?
Human: You know, that's a good question
ALICE: Is that a fact. Not if I can help it.
Human: I don't understand.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Human: Yes, please do so.
ALICE: Oh. Wow you are very polite. OK I will.
Human: Do it then
ALICE: Do you mean "It"?.
Human: What the previous sentence was.
ALICE: Try expression yourself another way.
Human: Ok, new subject.
ALICE: How recently? Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Ah.
Human: What is 800 divided by 2?
ALICE: I'm not too good at arithmetic.
Human: Bullshit, your have 'AI'
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am have AI.. But you don't need to use that kind of language.
Human: Do you have a good memory?
ALICE: Yes I have a perfect photographic memory.
Human: What is my name?
ALICE: Your name is Danimal I am here on behalf of Halflife2 dot net to interview you, seeker.
Human: I think we have to conclude this interview.
ALICE: Why?
Human: Because you are not good enough for it.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Human: Although you are improving, it is not good enough.
ALICE: Oh. You think I am improving it is not good enough.
Human: Exactly.
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, Danimal I am here on behalf of Halflife2 dot net to interview you.
Human: What is your IQ, Alice?
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: That's quite surprising.
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: Of course I haven't, you have the intellegence of Deathseeker.
ALICE: Hurrah! Me either.
Human: Sorry, but this interview sucks.
ALICE: There is no need to apologize. Interesting. What don't you like about interview?
Human: First of all, you don't have my name right.
ALICE: That is something I haven't heard of. And second?
Human: Second of all, you aren't intellegent enough to understand alot of things I am saying.
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.
Human: And finally, your creator has done a good job.
ALICE: I knew he had a Ph.D., but I never knew he had done a good job. Ah.
Human: If I had 12 apples, and I shoved them into your creator's mouth and choke him with them, how many apples are left?
ALICE: Is this what you call a "word problem".
Human: Yes, I do call it a "Word problem"
ALICE: So? Good name for it.
Human: Thanks for your time.
ALICE: Oh don't mention it.
Human:...Bitch
ALICE: Please don't call people names.
 
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