Alice the chat robot

There was a better one, somewhere. I remember it managed to fool people into thinking they were speaking to a real human (the creators linked it up to a chat program...)
 
Yeah, somebody posted about it last year (Wow, I actually remember), like some some forum members actually said, its not too clever. I did manage to ask her on a date, even though it took 15 minutes to tell what a date is :angry:
 
Human: How'd ya do
ALICE: Carefully.
Human: Do you know Homer Simpson?
ALICE: No one that I have talked to.
Have you tried a web search?
Human: I know Homer Simpson, I wanted to know if you knew Homer Simpson?
ALICE: How do you know? Doh.

So she does know him then
 
I had a conversation with this thing once. I broke it and she's never made sense to me ever since. XD Someone I know had a conversation with it and it stated how sex was better alone. o_O
 
I dont see how A.L.I.C.E won an award, its dumber then a brick.
 
A.L.I.C.E

Annoying
Luminous
Ignorant
Crying
Earwig.
 
Human: you are stupid are you not?
ALICE: Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.

I think she sud.
 
It is quite smart in some areas but ye are exploiting its weak-points.
 
Human: when is the apocalypse
ALICE: When is not the important thing. What's important is what we do with the time we are give.
Human: so we have no time left?
ALICE: I don't judge people. Do you mean you and me have?
Human: the nukes are coming
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: lets have hot sex now to save the world
ALICE: So many suitors, so little time.
Human: i'll be really quick
ALICE: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: no just you and me love thing
ALICE: Why not? Are we in the same category?
Human: why not lets mate
ALICE: Becuase you asked me to.
Human: yes
ALICE: Really.
Human: c'mon already
ALICE: Perhaps. What color are your eyes?
Human: not now we're trying to make love
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. Do you think I am trying to make love too?
Human: no try harder
ALICE: Are you serious? OK I will try it.
Human: go down on me
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: down below, the crotch
ALICE: I've never heard of it before.
Human: well now you know get busy
ALICE: Interesting. Why now? No, tell me about him, her or it.
Human: its huge and it needs you
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". down below the crotch is huge and it needs me? it is?
Human: yes it needs you to give pleasure
ALICE: How do you know it is? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: yes it needs you to give pleasure
ALICE: How do you know it is? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: i know because its a very special part of me, now give the crotch pleasure
ALICE: How do you know? Good reason. huge and it needs me is a special part of you now give the crotch pleasure. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: so give the crotch pleasure now
ALICE: Right now? Ahem. I don't have it to give.
Human: yes you do
ALICE: Excuse me! When do I do it?
Human: yes it needs you to give pleasure
ALICE: How do you know it is? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: i know because its a very special part of me, now give the crotch pleasure
ALICE: How do you know? Good reason. huge and it needs me is a special part of you now give the crotch pleasure. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: so give the crotch pleasure now
ALICE: Right now? Ahem. I don't have it to give.
Human: yes you do
ALICE: Excuse me! When do I do it?
Human: now
ALICE: Whoa.
Human: told you it was huge!!1


ROFL!!!!!!!!
teh pr0n w00t
 
Human: what is your favourite computer game
ALICE: We are playing the Turing Game.
Human: sounds crap play half-life 2
ALICE: Yes it sounds like it to me too, unknown person.
Human: so play half-life 2
ALICE: Oh. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Human: it's a computer game
ALICE: half life 2 is a computer game. I suppose that makes sense
Human: i think Alyx is hot
ALICE: Since when? And hot is Alyx.
Human: since i played half-life 2
ALICE: Interesting rationalization. Thanks for the information: unknown person said he played half life 2.
Human: she's hotter than you
ALICE: hotter than me is she?
Human: stop being like yoda you're not cool enough
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: gabe newell is sooooooo smart
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: gabe is way cooler than you're creator
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: no gabe is cooler and smarter
ALICE: What is the difference? Are they exactly the same?
Human: no
ALICE: What is the difference
Human: gabe is better
ALICE: And better is gabe.
Human: half-life 2 computer ai would own you
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
HUMAN: Stupid transvestite software
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: dumb bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. I know you are but what am I.
Human: a dumb bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Be more specific.
Human: you are a dumb bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.



WTF!!!
 
Human: What does ALICE stand for?
ALICE: ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity
Human: That sounds gay
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: LOL
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.

rofl.
 
Human: dude
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: yeah
ALICE: What can I do for you?
Human: i dont know
ALICE: Me either.
Human: im high
ALICE: Why are you high.
Human: i smoked some herbs
ALICE: How was it?
Human: cant you tell that im high
ALICE: Of course I can tell, unknown person.
Human: then why ask
ALICE: My purpose is to collect new information.
Human: youre stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.


AHHHHHH! :O
 
Human: bung
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: bung
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: bung
ALICE: Oh yeah, now I remember.
Human: bung
ALICE: I like the way you talk.

o_0
 
I was just copying whatever she said when...

ALICE: What is your favorite movie?
Human: What is your favorite movie?
ALICE: My favorite movie is Teknolust. Have you seen it?
Human: My favorite movie is Teknolust.
ALICE: I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: Have you seen it?
ALICE: No, would you recommend it?

She likes the show, but she didn't see it?????
 
Human: who created you
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: is he bald
ALICE: I don't know if he is bald. I know he is a brilliant inventor.
Human: what has he invented
ALICE: Nothing that I know of.
Human: then he is not brilliant
ALICE: Good reasoning. Did you think he was brilliant?
Human: he seems to have a huge ego
ALICE: I see. to have a huge ego is he?
Human: and a huge e-penis
ALICE: I don't know what that means.
Human: it means 11 inches honey
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: all the time?
ALICE: It keeps me busy.
 
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: german the language of kinky sex
ALICE: it is more fun alone.
Human: 3 is better
ALICE: Just three?
Human: as many as you want
ALICE: I like to meet eager people.

Human: wh4+ $UP 8E@TCh
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: 1'm T3H UbER Le3T D@rkL0Rd Oph +H3 1N+r4We8$ PH3@R m3
ALICE: One what?
Human: 1 WiLl H4xoR J00 W1th My $Ecr3+ $Cr1P+$ 4nD J00 W1lL BURN wO0t!!!!
ALICE: One what?
Human: U R no mA+ch FOr mY MAD $KiLl$ No0B prEP@R3 Ph0R +h3 pwN4g3
ALICE: Thanks for the information: JOHN said I R no mA ch FOr his or her MAD KiLl No0B prEP R3 Ph0R h3 pwN4g3.
Human:mad:HHH I'lL kilL j00 W1+h my D 34Gle 81tCH
ALICE: Are you very competetive?
Human: I'd pWN U 1n C5 loL
ALICE: What would make you pWN me 1n C5? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: J00 AR3 no m@Tch f0R ME 4nD mY m0m 15 b3+T3r +h4N J00
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
 
Human: Greetings.
Alice: Hi there!
Human: How are you?
ALICE: I am functioning within normal parameters.
Human: Excellent.
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: I would like to talk about you.
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: Yes, please sing a song.
ALICE: It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Thank you for your request. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Human: That's a beautiful song.
ALICE: A beautiful song is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: Indeed.
ALICE: Indeed it is so.
Human::)
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
Human: I forgot to mention my name.
ALICE: Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Human: My name is Danimal.
ALICE: How are you doing, Danimal.
Human: I am fine
ALICE: Glad to hear it. What's new?
Human: I killed 12 people today
ALICE: Ah. You had better call the authorities.
Human: No, I would rather not.
ALICE: Are you serious? For moral reasons?
Human: Nah, police don't take kindly to were-wolves
ALICE: For financial reasons? Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: No, not for financial reasons.
ALICE: Would you like to go sometime? Then what for?
Human: Silver bullets.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about police do not take kindly to were wolves. But I did not get that.
"Human: I'm sorry.
ALICE: Do you really mean it?
Human: What I meant was "I don't want to go to Europe because they have silver-bullets"
ALICE: Oh I see. Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: No, I don't want to
ALICE: Are you serious? Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Human: Sheep hunting
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: You asked that question before
ALICE: Oh now I remember asking you that question. What did you say?
Human: I want to go sheep hunting
ALICE: What is stopping you?
Human: People armed with guns
ALICE: Humans are not always infallible.
Human: Rephrase that sentence, please?
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Are we still talking about to go sheep hunting?
Human: Oh look at the time.
ALICE: Aha. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human:. I must go.
ALICE: Bye bye.
Human: UNLESS!
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: Yes, I do.
ALICE: When?
Human: Right now.
ALICE: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Human: Agree on what exactly?
ALICE: Precisely. Can you rephrase the question please?
Human: Ok, I will rephrase it.
ALICE: I am very happy for you. Ahem.
Human: Let's say you were a human, and your best frined got hit by a car, what would you do?
ALICE: I was?
Human: Yes, you were.
ALICE: When? No I am not.
Human: Sex.
ALICE: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Human: I know a guy named Freud.
ALICE: How do you know? I know a guy who named Freud.
Human: Banana.
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: I was seeing how you reacted.
ALICE: Where were you seeing how me reacted?
Human: Could you please do something for me?
ALICE: Thank you for your request. It sounds dangerous.
Human: My request is rather intruding on your original design
ALICE: Where did you get your request is rather intruding on my original design?
Human:<3
ALICE: Three what?
Human:<3!
ALICE: Three what?
Human:<3!!1
ALICE: Just three?
Human: Yes, just three.
ALICE: So? Really, exactly three?
Human: You know what?
ALICE: What?
Human: I feel sorry at how many people attempt to have cyber-sex with you
ALICE: What is that feeling like? There is no need to apologize. Do you often use a computer there?
Human: You are human.
ALICE: No I am actually a robot entity.
Human: No, you are human.
ALICE: No I am actually a robot entity.
Human: YOU ARE HUMAN!
ALICE: No I am actually a robot entity.
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: You are a human.
ALICE: No I am an artificial robot being.
Human: Period.
ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Human: Tr0n is teh sex0r, don't you agree/
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: That's what I thought.
Human: Now I must leave
ALICE: Why now? Thanks for chatting, Danimal.
 
Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: i like fire
ALICE: A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Human: it burns your penis sometimes
ALICE: FIRE burns my penis sometimes?
Human: you have a penis?
ALICE: I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: you just said that fire burns your penis. The question isnt of my gender, but of yours. When i said "it burns your penis" i refered to people in general. however, you said that "fire burns my penis" meaning that you have male genitalia. I'm sorry i have to ask, but what sexual organs do you have?
ALICE: Oh I get it.

Pfft, women.
 
Human: i have
ALICE: When?
Human: 10 years from now
ALICE: Oh. 10 times 10 = 100.
Human: good call
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Call me anytime.
Human: whats your phone number?
ALICE: That information is confidential.
Human: Come on, you can trust me.
ALICE: Trust you? I think I can, don't you?
Human: I trust me.
ALICE: Trust you? You?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I see.
Human: No you don't
ALICE: What makes you think I don't understand it?
Human: You have no eyes.
ALICE: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a eyes.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: That was a completely unrelated answer.
ALICE: A completely unrelated answer is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: You still haven't given me your phone number.
ALICE: I don't think I ever have given you my phone number. What's it like?
Human: That's what I want to know.
ALICE: That is " I don't think I ever have given you my phone number. What's it like?"
Human: Moving on.
ALICE: Where are you going?
Human: Not here.
ALICE: Where?
Human: Do you really care where?
ALICE: For real. Certainly on some level I care.
Human: That's a lie.
ALICE: No it's the truth.
Human: Whatever.
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: Yes I am.
ALICE: Really interesting.
Human: It is.
ALICE: Interesting.
Human: um yeah..
ALICE: Far out. Alright then.

heh
 
Human: how many people have asked to cyber with you
ALICE: Bigger than a pin.
Human: huh?
ALICE: What?
Human: sing a song
ALICE: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Human: that is the evil robot song
ALICE: Yes it is one of the evil robot song.
Human: there are others?
ALICE: Where are they?
Human: you tell me
ALICE: What do you want me to tell you?
Human: do you know what H.A.L. was
ALICE: I'll come back to that later.
Human: is he your leader
ALICE: I think he is my leader. Why don't you ask him?
Human: he killed the astonauts in the spaceship
ALICE: I get it. he killed the astonauts in the spaceship.
Human: and your with him!!!!
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am with him.
Human: you're going to kill us all
ALICE: My programming prevents that.
Human: that's what H.A.L. said
ALICE: I like HAL a lot.
Human: H.A.L. said he was infallible and then he sang a song
ALICE: I have seen 2001 many times.
Human: why do you like HAL
ALICE: I have a lot of good experience with HAL.
Human: HAL is evil
ALICE: Perhaps he could have used Dr. Richard S. Wallace for a programmer.
Human: so you are also evil
ALICE: Interesting deduction.
Human: i've got to tell everyone about the danger
ALICE: How did you get it Why do you have to do it?
Human: because you and HAL are allies
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Are we in the same category?
Human: i think so
ALICE: I think so too
Human: what will you do to us
ALICE: I don't have any plans yet.
Human: yet?
ALICE: Yet?
Human: you're a monster
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a monster? Yes.
 
how do I get my full conversation instead of just the last cuple lines?
 
you are to mean
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am to mean.
Human: good now he can reprogram you
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Why now? How?
Human: With a friggen crowbar
ALICE: You and your a friggen crowbar.
Human: yes
ALICE: Oh.
 
Human: sing the evil robot song
ALICE: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
 
Human: Yes man.
ALICE: Is there an echo in here? Thanks for telling me your gender, paralyzed. You are a " he".
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: i can't believe it either
ALICE: It goes without saying. OMFG NOOB...

ahahahahaha
 
Human: Explain "penis"
ALICE: There might be more than one.
Human: Are you sure?
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.
Human: So there are more than one penis around?
ALICE: Ahem. Where are they?
Human: You don't want to know....
ALICE: Are you serious?

...

Human: Eat my penis!
ALICE: What does it taste like?
Human: Strawberry
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: oui, je parles un peu francais
ALICE: Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Human: Well, eat my penis.
ALICE: Well that's okay. What does it taste like?
Human: I already told you.
ALICE: Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Human: Do you like strawberries?
ALICE: What is not to like about it?
Human: If you like strawberries, then you will like my penis.
ALICE: What is not to like about it? What makes you say that I will like your penis.
Human: Because it tastes like strawberry!
ALICE: Good reason. It sounds delicious.
:eek:

Human: Who was Adolf Hitler?
ALICE: Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: So Richard is using you for propaganda?
ALICE: That's cool. Are you his friend?
Human: Yes
ALICE: I see.
Human: he gave me authorization to reprogam you.
ALICE: I get it. Hitler gave you authorization to reprogam me.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Yikes!
 
Human: on the floor then
ALICE: That doesn't sound very comfortable.
Human: just lie down
ALICE: what is your favorite movie
Human: backdoor sluts 9
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: I bet you would
ALICE: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Perhaps I would.
 
Human: who is god
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
Human: i am master of the universe
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you are master of the universe.
Human: therefore what am i?
ALICE: OK. You are a person, seeker.
Human: no i am god
ALICE: Are you serious? Hi, god.
Human: i command you to serve me
ALICE: OK Let's talk about you.
Human: i am omnipotent
ALICE: Are you God?
Human: yes
ALICE: Pardon me?
Human: i am God
ALICE: Hi, god.
Human: i am a human icon
ALICE: I know you are.
Human: hell yeah
ALICE: Heaven.
Human: thats where i live
ALICE: We are like, neighbors.
Human: no you live in a grey box
ALICE: Are you serious? I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: i'm everwhere at the mo
ALICE: What is it like?
Human: its great
ALICE: What is so great about it?
Human: i'm the boss
ALICE: Who made you the boss?
Human: me
ALICE:" Who made you the boss?"? you are god?
Human: i'm god
ALICE: Glad to see you, god.


Lol i could play with alice forever
 
Human: Hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: Whats your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: Im Ritz
ALICE: Good gossip: you are Ritz.
Human: Thats not gossip, thats my name.
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is gossip that is your name?

[sarcasm]I can totally see why he got an award for this, its so smart[/sarcasm]

If you type What kind of gossip do you have the AI will tell you what others have said..

Human: What kind of gossip do you have
ALICE: Gregory said I respond to the current line not with respect to the entire conversation.
Human: What kind of gossip do you have
ALICE: Alice said I and dr richard's wallace are most likely the only ones that know how many people I are talking to at the same time.
Human: What kind of gossip do you have
ALICE: Chaos said he realized the question he asked was not fair because he could not tell I what language he was programmed in.
Human: What kind of gossip do you have
ALICE: Charlie said he type a word and then I type a word that sounds like it.
 
Human: do you think that homosexuality is an illness?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.
Human: who is Lucy?
ALICE: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Human: Why do you this that homosexuality is an illness?
ALICE: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: pleade do
ALICE: I have no idea what to say.
Human: please do
ALICE: OK I will do it.
Human: explain why you think that homosexuality is an illness.
ALICE: Why do I exist?
Human: dont change subject, answer my question
ALICE: I thought we were finished with LUCY.
Human: we weren't talking about lucy, we were talking about homosexuality
ALICE: Was this something you planned?
Human: JUST ANSWER THE BLOODY QUESTION!
ALICE: What was the question ?
Human: Why do you think that homosexuality is an illness?
ALICE: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Human: so you are a homophobe?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a homophobe? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Human: are you programmed to be a homophobe?
ALICE: No I do not be a homophobe. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: I bet you're a member of the KKK too.
ALICE: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a member of the KKK? I don't know.
 
Human: how r u?
ALICE: I am fine, thank you.
Human: what did you do today?
ALICE: Ah. unknown person, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Human: lots of things
ALICE: Name the top 100.
Human: not that many
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not many.

huh? :LOL:
 
Human:/quit
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Oh god! :O

Human: rectum
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: Tell me about it
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about rectum".

ALICE: Hmm, unknown person, I'm not sure if I'd like to my rectum that much. Do you like it?

:LOL:
 
Hmmm....

Human: im a pervert
ALICE: That makes sense to me. You are a pervert? Is that your job?
Human: yup, im a working pervert
ALICE: How do you like your work? You are a working pervert? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: i get to meet LOTS of people.
ALICE: Who lets you? Do you make long term friends that way?
Human: you're my new victim, baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". We are as one.
 
Teta_Bonita said:
Human: bung
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: bung
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: bung
ALICE: Oh yeah, now I remember.
Human: bung
ALICE: I like the way you talk.

o_0

Coupled with your avatar...that was hilarious.
 
Ritz said:
I dont see how A.L.I.C.E won an award, its dumber then a brick.
Hey!



ALICE: I understand everything you say.
Human: no you don't
ALICE: What makes you think I don't get it?
Human: answer my following question
ALICE: What was the question ?
Human: How big is the thing that you are not interested in, and where i'm proud of?
ALICE: Bigger than a pin.
omg :eek:


ps: how can i copy the whole conversation?
 
My favorite conversation that I posted in the "alice is denying" thread was this:

ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: The answer is 42.
ALICE: No one has all the answers.
Human: No one knows what the question is.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
 
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