An Email to David Cameron

[Sulkdodds]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please pardon me if this is an impertinent question, but I recently heard from my old Politics teacher that in your youth you went hunting. This didn't seem unusual, but then he told me that in said pursuit you had acquired the nickname of "Two Guns" Cameron for the feat of shooting two deer at once with two weapons at the same time.

Is this true? If so, what truly surprises me is the fact that I had never heard of it. Imagine it - a potential prime minister of Great Britain is, in fact, a master gunslinger, and nobody knows. Now, I couldn't honestly profess to being a great supporter of the Conservative party, but I can't help thinking its fortunes would fare even better if the general public knew what a badass its candidate was. Teddy Roosevelt style action politicians are a rare commodity in these modern times. The answer to the problem of voter apathy may in fact lie here.

Thank you for your time, and apologies if I err in using this email address for what, next to the needs of constituents, must be a trivial (if entirely serious) enquiry.

I wish you the best of luck in the coming months, and implore that, should you win a General Election, you try to refrain from further ruining the country (as has been customary for governments of both denominations since I can remember).

Sincerely,
L.F. Dodds

Now to sit back and wait for a response.

(I decided to take out the following sentence as it was too flippant: "Compare Gordon Brown, who has not been able to effectively martial his assets towards an election: he has a legitimate reason to wear an eyepatch, and yet he does not.")

 

[CptStern]

Now to sit back and wait for a response.

(I decided to take out the following sentence as it was too flippant: "Compare Gordon Brown, who has not been able to effectively martial his assets towards an election: he has a legitimate reason to wear an eyepatch, and yet he does not.")

so in essence he's yosemite sam of british politics?

also I dont see the point? subtle mockery/sarcasm? maybe if I knew who this david cameron is ..I thought this thread was about Kirk's brother and bananas

 

[Acepilotf14]

You mean, sit back and wait for a response from a secretary who will thank you for your message?

But, I will be interested if he actually responds back. This sounds simply scandalous.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Start getting used to the name Stern, you'll be spending the next 4 years calling him a pompous posh twat in the threads you make, as he is made into a stereotype English ponce. Brace for impact.

I think dropping the bit you did was a good idea. I wonder if he has a yahoo email like Palin did...

 

[Polaris]

Awesome letter, I'm still laughing.
In Texas they would make him a governor just for this.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

I'm so shite at British politicians, but is Cameron the guy who was mocked in an ad by Labour a few years back? It was a lizard that kept changing its colours, and they made some ruckus about him trying to appear more down to earth by asking people to call him "Dave." I remember that because it was particularly funny coming from a party lead by Anthony "Tony" Blair.

...sorry, derailed a bit there. I hope you get a reply Sulks. Would be fun to read.

 

[Krynn72]

Did you actually hear that story, or are you just making stuff up? That is pretty badass if its true. Even if they were stuck in a bear trap, as long as they were a decent distance off.

 

[Sulkdodds]

It does rather sound like I made it up, but I did hear it (albeit through my brother, who now goes to the same politics class I once did). He asked me "What is it with these guys? Brown has only one eye and doesn't wear an eyepatch, and Cameron is some kind of mad gunslinger and doesn't act like it?! Man!"

 

[Eejit]

I guess Clegg is screwed unless he does something drastic.

Maybe if he cuts of his left arm below the elbow and replaces it with a chainsaw he'll be able to compare to the eyepatch and the gunslinging.

 

[kupocake]

[drnick]If it isn't Nicholas Clegg!
With a leg for an arm,
and an arm for a leg![/drnick]

It'd be bad PR to admit to hunting animals for sport, even if you were a badass.

 

[<RJMC>]

It'd be bad PR to admit to hunting animals for sport, even if you were a badass.

what if he say he will use those skills to hunt terrorist? irish terrorists?

 

[13LACKBISHOP]

It does rather sound like I made it up, but I did hear it (albeit through my brother, who now goes to the same politics class I once did). He asked me "What is it with these guys? Brown has only one eye and doesn't wear an eyepatch, and Cameron is some kind of mad gunslinger and doesn't act like it?! Man!"

Gordon brown with an eyepatch? He would look like a evil dictator or depressing James Bond villain.

 

[Oreolek]

James Bond vs. Gordon Brown....
You mean, English prime minister should be a real badass and DON'T ruin the country?
Great. Nice way to go.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

James Bond vs. Gordon Brown....
You mean, English prime minister should be a real badass and DON'T ruin the country?
Great. Nice way to go.

Seeing as how Russia is ruled by a real-life Bond Villain, that might be a good idea.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Damn, I forgot to mention the rising threat of Putin in Russia.