and here I sit

[CyberSh33p]

on a computer infinitely more crappy than mine, no doubt with loads of spyware and perhaps viruses, and worse yet, only IE installed browser-wise. I don't have nearly close to all of my music.

I'm at a house of a friend of my mom's because my dad is dead drunk at home and hopefully beating his own brains out with a hammer.

but, as long as I can listen to cân megan by gorky's zygotic mynci I'll be fine, because I feel like I'm in a perfect little park.

anyway, I had to vent a little, anyone else got personal problems everyone is going to skip through and post a vacuous comment regarding pie or something?

 

[Dalamari]

Get ad-aware and spybot, I do that to any comp I come in contact with.

 

[CyberSh33p]

Get ad-aware and spybot, I do that to any comp I come in contact with.

not my computer, I'm not gonna piss the guy off with doing that. And its insane slowness is also 3/4ths due to a poor computer

 

[blahblahblah]

Sorry that your situation in life sucks right now.

*gives CyberSh33p a cookie*

 

[Ghost Freeman]

Yeah...my brain feels like somethin fierce came and raped it. That and I'm fighting depression.

Oh yeah, sorry to hear about your dad...mine used to have those issues, but they were different. I don't want to discuss them here.

 

[qckbeam]

Having a shitty night as well Sh33p Sorry to hear things are going bad for you too

 

[dura]

Be grateful you have one.

 

[Moto]

on a computer infinitely more crappy than mine, no doubt with loads of spyware and perhaps viruses, and worse yet, only IE installed browser-wise. I don't have nearly close to all of my music.

I'm at a house of a friend of my mom's because my dad is dead drunk at home and hopefully beating his own brains out with a hammer.

but, as long as I can listen to cân megan by gorky's zygotic mynci I'll be fine, because I feel like I'm in a perfect little park.

anyway, I had to vent a little, anyone else got personal problems everyone is going to skip through and post a vacuous comment regarding pie or something?

It's okay Cyber, I <3 you. U r cul :O

This is for you:

http://img33.exs.cx/img33/974/cookie5.jpg

 

[CrazyHarij]

I think I have to vent too..

I have ****ed up last year of school with skipping, flunking, being lazy, even though i'm smart and stuff but the school is a complete crap school, 99% immigrants, shitloads of fights and all kinds of stuff, it's like another world.. now I have to pay for it by going in a sort of preparing-thingie for highschool or whatever you call it in england after you finish 9th grade.. which means i'll be one year behind everyone else. :|
i'm not sad for it, I think it's a good opportunity and second chance, the thingie seems to be good aswell and 3 out of 5 days I'll go to these try-out jobs(prao/ferie or something) or whatever you call 'em in english.. seems to be very calm and nice too, it's just that i'm very angry that I didn't struggle to finish 9th grade with good grades and stuff.. I got shit grades right now, it just makes me feel like i'm a completely worthless being and I'll never get a decent job or anything that I'd even consider being fun . :|
I've matured up alot though by now and I'm going to do my best to succeed in this thing no matter what.

I want to meet my dad more.. seriously.. he live in the capitol of sweden (stockholm), one of my brothers live there too, while I live in uppsala, abit away from there.
It's very fun visiting them and going out in the city and stuff, I have alot of stuff incommon with my dad but it clearly shows he's very ashamed that he's neglected the family before and he thinks that I look down on him alot due to the fact that he's homosexual.. But that's not the case at all. I've barely had any contact with him the latest years, I'd just like to visit him and talk with him alot and ask him how it's like being gay and know more of it, and I want to visit him more on a regular basis.
But I will probably never be able to do that, especially not the discussion part.. :|

Having a bit of trouble with my mother too, she tries not to show it but everyone knows she doesn't like that I've left christianity and she looks at everything else as satanism so it's not that easy on that part either. she's very narrowminded, in my opinion.

I'm afraid people look at me as a crazy/weird person on the internet, it just seems like I say all the wrong stuff when chatting one on one with people, like we're on completely different frequencies and one thing a guy said in a chatting channel about me changing attitudes alot and becoming suddenly hostile and stuff like that.. he's absolutely right and I think alot of people notice it and try to stay away from me somehow and I'm not sure who I really am down to the bone.. Is this me? is this even my opinions or am I just posting stuff to sound depressed or interesting? I'm not even sure.

Seems like I've managed to reach out to some people though, I appreciate every person who likes to chat and it means alot to me when people consider me being one of their internet pals.. and people here are alot more mature and friendly than other forums and shit, that's why I enjoy hanging out here so much.

meh, life's a bitch and it seems like she's decided to give me a bit of spanking. felt good venting and saying this stuff, maybe it helps letting people know more about me a little, perhaps i'm trying to sound too interesting or perfect here and there and that's not the kind of person I am..

over and out from the crazy guy

 

[Korgoth]

awww crazyharij... *hugs*
Everybody has problems, everyone copes with their problems differently. In my 21 one years of life on this planet, seeing the things i've seen I have came to one conclusion, be yourself and don't worry so much about the future. Things fall into place and remain there until the next f*ck up, then the process repeats itself. You just can't stress over it, it will only lead to quicker consecutive f*ck ups...

 

[Bad^Hat]

I think I have to vent too..

I have ****ed up last year of school with skipping, flunking, being lazy, even though i'm smart and stuff but the school is a complete crap school, 99% immigrants, shitloads of fights and all kinds of stuff, it's like another world.. now I have to pay for it by going in a sort of preparing-thingie for highschool or whatever you call it in england after you finish 9th grade.. which means i'll be one year behind everyone else. :|
i'm not sad for it, I think it's a good opportunity and second chance, the thingie seems to be good aswell and 3 out of 5 days I'll go to these try-out jobs(prao/ferie or something) or whatever you call 'em in english.. seems to be very calm and nice too, it's just that i'm very angry that I didn't struggle to finish 9th grade with good grades and stuff.. I got shit grades right now, it just makes me feel like i'm a completely worthless being and I'll never get a decent job or anything that I'd even consider being fun . :|
I've matured up alot though by now and I'm going to do my best to succeed in this thing no matter what.

I want to meet my dad more.. seriously.. he live in the capitol of sweden (stockholm), one of my brothers live there too, while I live in uppsala, abit away from there.
It's very fun visiting them and going out in the city and stuff, I have alot of stuff incommon with my dad but it clearly shows he's very ashamed that he's neglected the family before and he thinks that I look down on him alot due to the fact that he's homosexual.. But that's not the case at all. I've barely had any contact with him the latest years, I'd just like to visit him and talk with him alot and ask him how it's like being gay and know more of it, and I want to visit him more on a regular basis.
But I will probably never be able to do that, especially not the discussion part.. :|

Having a bit of trouble with my mother too, she tries not to show it but everyone knows she doesn't like that I've left christianity and she looks at everything else as satanism so it's not that easy on that part either. she's very narrowminded, in my opinion.

I'm afraid people look at me as a crazy/weird person on the internet, it just seems like I say all the wrong stuff when chatting one on one with people, like we're on completely different frequencies and one thing a guy said in a chatting channel about me changing attitudes alot and becoming suddenly hostile and stuff like that.. he's absolutely right and I think alot of people notice it and try to stay away from me somehow and I'm not sure who I really am down to the bone.. Is this me? is this even my opinions or am I just posting stuff to sound depressed or interesting? I'm not even sure.

Seems like I've managed to reach out to some people though, I appreciate every person who likes to chat and it means alot to me when people consider me being one of their internet pals.. and people here are alot more mature and friendly than other forums and shit, that's why I enjoy hanging out here so much.

meh, life's a bitch and it seems like she's decided to give me a bit of spanking. felt good venting and saying this stuff, maybe it helps letting people know more about me a little, perhaps i'm trying to sound too interesting or perfect here and there and that's not the kind of person I am..

over and out from the crazy guy

Me down to a T, mate. Ever need someone to chat to...

 

[CyberSh33p]

Be grateful you have one.

have a what? dad? cause I'd rather not, I could live without him.

trying to get on msn on this comp but its givin me a hard time

 

[outpost]

Last year of school I screwed up. I got poor grades all around and I really wish I hadn't. I don't know why but I just stopped caring and got lazy with my work and stuff. But I now realise that I probably shouldn't have.

But besides doing bad in school I also pissed of a lot of friends. I'm just hoping that I'll have a more positive attitude going into 10th grade this year.

I did have a really long rant I was writing but some of it I didn't feel like discussing with people I don't know so I got rid of it.

 

[oldagerocker]

awww crazyharij... *hugs*
Things fall into place and remain there until the next f*ck up, then the process repeats itself. You just can't stress over it, it will only lead to quicker consecutive f*ck ups...

hey, i got my A'Level Results on Thursday... i hope your right dude, because im shitting huge bricks about the lot... i set my heart on this University and i dont think i'l get there :x
then again... i *might* :cheers:
There's a good side and bad side to all (well, most) events in life, everyone should atleast try and see the good... it's hard sometimes though.

 

[Vegeta897]

have a what? dad? cause I'd rather not, I could live without him.

trying to get on msn on this comp but its givin me a hard time

I think me mean a life. But.. I could be wrong.

I've recently learned that a fellow forum member here "Eraser" (Good pal, talk to him on AIM, we have alot in common.) Well he.. Is only 14.. And he.. Drinks occasionally.. And has these "friends" that smoke and drink and hang with girls that are the same way..

It just sickens me. We had a long talk. He says the usual "It's okay really, it's not like I am addicted to it."

He got in a fight with his friend drinking once.. He says it's helped him a bit about drinking now that he see's what can result from it.

It's so f*cking gross and degrading to know that these kids have thrown away their lives. Why? Why...

He has a little brother. I told him to make sure he raises him up to not drink or anything else bad. He says "I'm not gonna stop him from drinking, only if he is addicted."

It's his damn responcibility to make sure his brother his safe. It's not fair for his little brother to be let drink. It will ruin his life like he did his.

Really puts me in a depression. Jesus... Why?

Why.

 

[Korgoth]

You just have to figure if you don't get accepted to that university, maybe you're not meant to be there... Maybe there is somewhere more important for you, maybe not being there will lead to bigger and better things for you.

 

[Tr0n]

Maybe can be a big word...sometimes can lead to someones downfall.

 

[oldagerocker]

You just have to figure if you don't get accepted to that university, maybe you're not meant to be there... Maybe there is somewhere more important for you, maybe not being there will lead to bigger and better things for you.

I wish i could see it like that, but all i can see myself doing is this Uni course... but nevermind... Education isn't everything. :cheers:

 

[ship]

Really puts me in a depression. Jesus... Why?

Why.

I know I really don't know you at all, but from that post alone you sound like a really good man, Vegeta. Don't let it get to you. There are better people out there just waiting to meet you and be your best friends.

Sure, some people are stupid and throw their lives away. Sure the world can be an evil place, but at the same time, life is just so beautiful. We've all had those amazing days. And we've all had the bad ones, like we all seem to be having recently.

Just hang in there. The good days are more than worth it.

 

[The DemonWithin]

Nothin wrong wit drinking, he only drinks occasionally. Probably is havin a good time too. Smokin on the other hand is stupid, it does nothin for you but kill you. but dude dont get depressed about that cause that shit happens all the time, an 14 isnt that young, the age of experimentation hahah.

 

[Cybernoid]

I'm at a house of a friend of my mom's because my dad is dead drunk at home and hopefully beating his own brains out with a hammer.

My dad blew his brains out with a handgun (when I was little). Go alcoholism, go!

I know exactly how you feel, I once had a stepfather who was frequently drunk.

 

[Korgoth]

when i was younger i had a step mother who was an alcoholic, she drank everyday. She was also diabetic so when she drank she got really messed up. My dad was always at work so there wasn't anything he could do, so she liked to get drunk and decide that i wasn't her real child sho she would punch and slap me until I could do nothing but lie in my room crying all night. She is lucky I was only 13 at the time, if she tried that sh*t now, oooh she'd get it. I don't like to hit women, but she isn't a woman in my eyes. But her and my dad eventually got a divorce because she got drunk and slept with another guy and my dad caught her. They got a divorce, she got me and my dads house from it (which we owned before he met her) my dads name was still on the lease or whatever and she never paid her payments forcing my dad into bankruptcy, ruining his credit, now we live in a true sh*thole. but, idts gettin' better slowly.

 

[slider3005]

you guys are the coolest bunch of people I've ever had the privilage of reading. My life is still so simple even though I get so overwhelmed somtimes. I think you guys being so open about problems in your life is teaching me to just not care about little crap. Really. Thanks

 

[CyberSh33p]

you guys are the coolest bunch of people I've ever had the privilage of reading. My life is still so simple even though I get so overwhelmed somtimes. I think you guys being so open about problems in your life is teaching me to just not care about little crap. Really. Thanks

glad we can help ;P

good morning everyone
Its 10 am, we spent the night here, probably going home soon. I'm looking forward to tonight though, going to a they might be giants concert in san fransisco, and I'm sure I'll post a threaad about THAT which no cares about. my first concert though so woot.

anyhow, just thanks to all of you for replying and sharing your problems, thanks burnzie qckbeam and pendragon for talking to me through im/pm yesterday also

 

[Foxtrot]

Wow, look at Bad Hats avatar...how can you not laugh?

 

[ComradeBadger]

I hope you feel better everyone

I'm not without my problems in life ;( I'll make a post someday but I get by.

And tbh, you all deserve happiness in life (and I started drinking circa 13-14, there's nowt wrong with that as long as you can have fun without it, and it isn't your life)

Also I thought that this was a thread on Alkaline Trio:

And now here I sit alone in this room
No one to confide in
You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams
You laughed, you left, you waited in hiding

;( (It's about god)

 

[HatRabit]

HatRabit tries to think of something deep and meaningful to add to the discussion...




eh,well it could worse. you could be living in a third world country with no money or job and both legs blown off from a landmine.


Jebus that was cliched.

 

[marksmanHL2 :)]

Wow... just read this thread.


I hope you all get a big pick up in life.

Me? I have my problems. But I will deal with them eventually... Unfortunatly that will prolly mean quiting these here forums for a little while.
But I will allways look in now and again....... :thumbs:

 

[CyberSh33p]

I hope you feel better everyone

I'm not without my problems in life ;( I'll make a post someday but I get by.

And tbh, you all deserve happiness in life (and I started drinking circa 13-14, there's nowt wrong with that as long as you can have fun without it, and it isn't your life)

Also I thought that this was a thread on Alkaline Trio:

And now here I sit alone in this room
No one to confide in
You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams
You laughed, you left, you waited in hiding

;( (It's about god)

interesting that coincidence, what with being atheist and all ;P

hatrabit, I think we're all amputeed folks with no job on the inside.

and slider: by remembering all the poor animals that had to die to make that hat

 

[Snakebyte]

you guys are the coolest bunch of people I've ever had the privilage of reading. My life is still so simple even though I get so overwhelmed somtimes. I think you guys being so open about problems in your life is teaching me to just not care about little crap. Really. Thanks

I was just thinking the same thing.

 

[Ghost Freeman]

My dad had issues with Oxycontin. Nearly beat the crap out of me. I wanted to kick the shit out of him.

This was also the same year my mom died. I saw her body, too (I was in the same car, in the seat behind her)

I wanted to kill myself twice, almost did it once.

All this all happened a year ago.




Life ****ing sucks. But what's the point in stopping now?

 

[Dedalus]

Ode On Melancholy by John Keats

(best read in silence)

this poem has made me think about things a lot, especially when i'm down.

i don't know whether any of you will get anything from it. i hope you'll get something at least. the last stanza might be the most relevant.

 

[ivisak]

I was listening to Nancy Sinatra`s-Bang Bang when i readed these post..and i feel totally depressed now ;( ..

 

[Dedalus]

i take it no-one appreciates Keats' poetry ;(

 

[Vegeta897]

i take it no-one appreciates Keats' poetry ;(

I tried to understand it, but I failed...

It's way over my head.

But nicely written, pretty words, and I can tell it has good meaning, just not what exactly it is.

 

[slider3005]

yea same here, I'm sorry but I'm too dumb to understand it.... I tried though

 

[Dedalus]

aww. it took me a while to get it too. just a case of understanding a few words. i'll deciphre it tomorrow for anyone who's interested. very tired.

 

[CrazyHarij]

I liked the john keat thingie... it sort of ..reached out.. to me.

Thanks for posting it, Dedalus.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Extreme ramblings of a tired man


I always thought it was interesting how people open up on the internet...but now...I'm not so sure. Not that any of you are lying, but sometimes I wonder that perhaps you aren't being open...you're just being normal and life is actually really crap all the time.

How do you people converse with "real world" people about problem like this? Do you have deep heart to hearts or is it more like "meh, life sucks so I just deal with it"

Somtimes the latter seems easier but I think ultimately its better to go down to the roots of the problem and admit there is something very wrong in your life which needs to change, be it your fault or not, most of the time we as humans simply cover up the bad parts of our life through vanity or just not wanting to think about it.

Right now, I think I'm really getting on top of my life. I don't want to say I've had it hard because I always feel like a fake when I say that...and its not because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth either. But anyway, yeah, I think I'm getting on track with things in a big way and I'm actually quite happy now.
By the way, if you are wondering what I'm talking about its just my brain is buzzing because for the past 9 hours I've been stacking shelves...not the greatest job to inspire imaginative thought....heh, its almost like a high I suppose you could say but it feels different. Kind of like when you are physically tired but not mentally (Which is exactly what I am right now). Thoughts are racing through my head and its getting difficult to write sentences down before I've already moved on 3 paragraphs.

 

[Dedalus]

CrazyHarij, glad you enjoyed the poem mate