Mr.Reak
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- Joined
- May 24, 2003
- Messages
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Before I start:
IF you have something up your ass, that you can’t sit and read for about 5 minutes, than this topic is not for you. Get the hell out.
IF you are stupid newbie, get the hell out.
IF you are easily offended, GET THE HELL OUT.
See, I read a post here, by a super genius, that we MUST express our politically incorrect opinions all the time. So here is another story from me, which may or may not be true.
I am about to start:
I will tell you one thing, never date white women, they are crazy, they have some kind of idea, that they can do what ever they want. I mean come on, women were made to sit in the kitchen… even when there wasn’t a kitchen. Now they want to express their opinions! Last white chick I dated, more then year ago, well she said that I didn’t spend much time with her. Well damn woman, I worked, I went to college and I hit F5 on HL2.net forum, waiting for bink files. So she left me, big deal, I didn’t cry a river. I cried a small puddle though.
You see, I know a lot about Japanese culture. You probably wonder where I learned about it. I go to art college, need I say more? Yeah, animu ^_^ of course, I mean everybody, and their grandma, knows that anime is the most accurate depiction of Japanese culture. See, women in Japan worship man, they say “I LOVE U” every time they see you, they clean the house all day long, they cook, they even go to hot springs. My white ex-girlfriend never went to hot springs! So, I decided, year ago, that my girlfriend will be from Japan. Being in Academy of Art, there was no shortage of Japanese people, or any other races for that matter. So I met that girl, in some class, doing something unimportant, and surely we started going out. I expected her to blush every time she touched me, but she didn’t. I didn’t suspect anything back then, but I should have.
I wanted her to cook and laugh at my every joke, also be a bit clumsy and always fall on me, so my hand would end up on her breast or I would see her white panties. She didn’t. Strange, but I was in love, I didn’t care that much. We went out for about a month, when she asked me:
“So, when are you going to make your move?”
“Eh, move?” the hell she wants from me.
“I am asking when will we have sex!”
“S… e.. x?” I got scared a bit.
“Yes, I think I got to know you in one month pretty well, plus sex will add whole new dimension to our relationship.”
I gonna tell you, having sex with Japanese woman is almost impossible. I mean come on, how the hell will you stick your manly possession, when you can’t see a damn thing down there. Not my fault her vagina is damn blur. Plus the minute she takes her panties off, I just know bunch of monster-tentacles would rape her, while taking my brain out through nostrils. I couldn’t risk my life for that.
“Uh I am not ready…”
“?”
It’s not really matter what I said, we ended up doing it. Strangely I could see her vagina perfectly, and no monster-tentacles showed up. I understood that she was a terrible cook, she hated to clean, I even understood she never fell down, but JESUS, no monster-rape-tentacles! She must be a mix between white and Japanese. I hoped that her Japanese part at least had some kind of giant robot, sitting on the bottom of the sea. She didn’t. It was big disappointment on my part, she surely failed as Japanese and must have dishonored her family, because I never heard about them. Well that is, until on March of this year, she said she wants me to meet her parents, in Japan! I had a plan, I would go to Japan, find myself 14 years old schoolgirl in sexy uniform, with a giant robot, and we would love each other until this world comes to the end and I find out that she really is a god, and that she will change the world, where only two of us will be left and we will have sex all day long, with monster-rape-tentacles.
Thing about Japan, it has giant robots, as I already said, and Godzilla of course. It didn’t… but it had tons of people, running around, on their cell phones. I guess cell phones are much better than robots, at least they have build-in vibrators. I didn’t find any schoolgirls that were interested in me either, actually I was ignored for the most part, because I wasn’t blond-haired boy, with blue eyes and big ass sword, which is a ****ing loss I guess. Her parents were complete bore too, I was sure her father was a samurai and her mom is a … girl with a robot? In reality, her father was lame dentist, and mother, well, she didn’t speak English, so I don’t care what she was, but I know for sure, no giant robots. God damn, Japan was lame… nothing like in anime… years wasted on stupid crap like Saylor Moon… the hell with that.
“Konichiwa,” her father said to me.
“Konichiwa, man with inferior penis,” I was pissed at Japan sucking so bad.
“Excuse me?” her father didn’t understand me, actually he did, but didn’t believe his ears.
“KEKEKE, ZERG RUSH ^_^” ah man, it was so funny at the time.
“SHAMIL!” oops, my Japanese girlfriend got pissed off. But you know what? I didn’t care; she failed as Japanese, so screw her.
“Don’t talk to me, you failed, you must commit hara-kiri, or your ancestors won’t rest in peace.” I was on the roll, I made funny, in real life, with Russian accent!
“*bunch of moon language*” well, I don’t know Japanese, but her mother was saying/asking something.
“*kawai ^_^*” yay, whole family spoke in Japanese now.
“Yeah, you guys talk your moon language, and I am going to buy used panties from vendor machine, across the corner,” used panties rule!
“I would never expect something like that from you Shamil!”
“Oh you know what! I expected a giant robot, a damn blurred out pussy and monster-rape-tentacles from you! What did I get? Nothing… you can’t even cook, damn it!”
“*chi chi chi*” father screams at his daughter now, probably for bringing crazy brown person to their household, with 7 inch penis.
The thing is, I am not crazy, I just expected more. I never asked for a lot, but hell, I blame America for not finishing the job and dropping the rest of bombs there. ALSO, FOR CHRIST SAKE, WHAT IS UP WITH SQUARE CARS!
I am done and through, that’s it, I am turning gay and I hope you guys have a lot of rainbows and kittie stickers to make me happy!
P.S. Got damn, I didn’t offend any black people :/ Okay, all black people are criminal and eat watermelons all day long.
IF you have something up your ass, that you can’t sit and read for about 5 minutes, than this topic is not for you. Get the hell out.
IF you are stupid newbie, get the hell out.
IF you are easily offended, GET THE HELL OUT.
See, I read a post here, by a super genius, that we MUST express our politically incorrect opinions all the time. So here is another story from me, which may or may not be true.
I am about to start:
I will tell you one thing, never date white women, they are crazy, they have some kind of idea, that they can do what ever they want. I mean come on, women were made to sit in the kitchen… even when there wasn’t a kitchen. Now they want to express their opinions! Last white chick I dated, more then year ago, well she said that I didn’t spend much time with her. Well damn woman, I worked, I went to college and I hit F5 on HL2.net forum, waiting for bink files. So she left me, big deal, I didn’t cry a river. I cried a small puddle though.
You see, I know a lot about Japanese culture. You probably wonder where I learned about it. I go to art college, need I say more? Yeah, animu ^_^ of course, I mean everybody, and their grandma, knows that anime is the most accurate depiction of Japanese culture. See, women in Japan worship man, they say “I LOVE U” every time they see you, they clean the house all day long, they cook, they even go to hot springs. My white ex-girlfriend never went to hot springs! So, I decided, year ago, that my girlfriend will be from Japan. Being in Academy of Art, there was no shortage of Japanese people, or any other races for that matter. So I met that girl, in some class, doing something unimportant, and surely we started going out. I expected her to blush every time she touched me, but she didn’t. I didn’t suspect anything back then, but I should have.
I wanted her to cook and laugh at my every joke, also be a bit clumsy and always fall on me, so my hand would end up on her breast or I would see her white panties. She didn’t. Strange, but I was in love, I didn’t care that much. We went out for about a month, when she asked me:
“So, when are you going to make your move?”
“Eh, move?” the hell she wants from me.
“I am asking when will we have sex!”
“S… e.. x?” I got scared a bit.
“Yes, I think I got to know you in one month pretty well, plus sex will add whole new dimension to our relationship.”
I gonna tell you, having sex with Japanese woman is almost impossible. I mean come on, how the hell will you stick your manly possession, when you can’t see a damn thing down there. Not my fault her vagina is damn blur. Plus the minute she takes her panties off, I just know bunch of monster-tentacles would rape her, while taking my brain out through nostrils. I couldn’t risk my life for that.
“Uh I am not ready…”
“?”
It’s not really matter what I said, we ended up doing it. Strangely I could see her vagina perfectly, and no monster-tentacles showed up. I understood that she was a terrible cook, she hated to clean, I even understood she never fell down, but JESUS, no monster-rape-tentacles! She must be a mix between white and Japanese. I hoped that her Japanese part at least had some kind of giant robot, sitting on the bottom of the sea. She didn’t. It was big disappointment on my part, she surely failed as Japanese and must have dishonored her family, because I never heard about them. Well that is, until on March of this year, she said she wants me to meet her parents, in Japan! I had a plan, I would go to Japan, find myself 14 years old schoolgirl in sexy uniform, with a giant robot, and we would love each other until this world comes to the end and I find out that she really is a god, and that she will change the world, where only two of us will be left and we will have sex all day long, with monster-rape-tentacles.
Thing about Japan, it has giant robots, as I already said, and Godzilla of course. It didn’t… but it had tons of people, running around, on their cell phones. I guess cell phones are much better than robots, at least they have build-in vibrators. I didn’t find any schoolgirls that were interested in me either, actually I was ignored for the most part, because I wasn’t blond-haired boy, with blue eyes and big ass sword, which is a ****ing loss I guess. Her parents were complete bore too, I was sure her father was a samurai and her mom is a … girl with a robot? In reality, her father was lame dentist, and mother, well, she didn’t speak English, so I don’t care what she was, but I know for sure, no giant robots. God damn, Japan was lame… nothing like in anime… years wasted on stupid crap like Saylor Moon… the hell with that.
“Konichiwa,” her father said to me.
“Konichiwa, man with inferior penis,” I was pissed at Japan sucking so bad.
“Excuse me?” her father didn’t understand me, actually he did, but didn’t believe his ears.
“KEKEKE, ZERG RUSH ^_^” ah man, it was so funny at the time.
“SHAMIL!” oops, my Japanese girlfriend got pissed off. But you know what? I didn’t care; she failed as Japanese, so screw her.
“Don’t talk to me, you failed, you must commit hara-kiri, or your ancestors won’t rest in peace.” I was on the roll, I made funny, in real life, with Russian accent!
“*bunch of moon language*” well, I don’t know Japanese, but her mother was saying/asking something.
“*kawai ^_^*” yay, whole family spoke in Japanese now.
“Yeah, you guys talk your moon language, and I am going to buy used panties from vendor machine, across the corner,” used panties rule!
“I would never expect something like that from you Shamil!”
“Oh you know what! I expected a giant robot, a damn blurred out pussy and monster-rape-tentacles from you! What did I get? Nothing… you can’t even cook, damn it!”
“*chi chi chi*” father screams at his daughter now, probably for bringing crazy brown person to their household, with 7 inch penis.
The thing is, I am not crazy, I just expected more. I never asked for a lot, but hell, I blame America for not finishing the job and dropping the rest of bombs there. ALSO, FOR CHRIST SAKE, WHAT IS UP WITH SQUARE CARS!
I am done and through, that’s it, I am turning gay and I hope you guys have a lot of rainbows and kittie stickers to make me happy!
P.S. Got damn, I didn’t offend any black people :/ Okay, all black people are criminal and eat watermelons all day long.
