can i get some REAL advice...girl problems.

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bizzy420

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ok so let me start off by saying, i cant ask my friends for advice because they'll jsut say something like "F*CK that bitch!", or as long as u get the pu$$y", but thats not the advice im looking for.


heres my situation:

about a year ago i got out of a really long 5 year relationship. so in the last year, i've got with other people, but nobody that i really care about. just dates here and there.

so 2 weeks ago i met this girl, and im really into her..shes someone that i really like. not someone that i just want to mess around with.

heres the problem.

the girls that i've messed around with in the last year, were ppl i already knew, or ppl i met at work, so it was easy to carry a conversation, but for some reason i dont know what to say to this new girl i met. its like when i see her i kinda run out of things to say, and i feel these awkward moments of silence.

when i call her i always ask the same things like:

so how was your day? how was work? what did you do today?,
but thats about it. i dont know what to talk about.

can anyone help me out here? any advice on what i could do to get the conversation going? THX i really appreciate it.
 
um do you have a life? talk about work, sports, the size of your penis. talk about school, other people, any hobbies both of you have.

sometimes silence is a sign of a more matured relationship.. if you can just chill together then that could be a good sign. dont try so hard...
 
...this isn't complicated, but it takes practice..i guess.

a.) start off with her (unless you have something really cool about your day/life)
b.) you can tell her about your life also, this isn't a 1 sided conversation
c.) if she says something that makes you think of something...then say it.
d.) smile and laugh and 'care'

thats...about...it. Real hard, eh?
 
Offer her your philosophical commentary while eating a filet minion.

edited for blinkies sake
 
Well, figure out what her interests are then talk about them. Honestly, if you really are interested in her and what to get to know her better there should be tons of questions in your head to ask her. What are her favorite things? You should know that one since the holidays are coming. Whats her family like? Ask her what her opinions are on relationships. If you really are running out of things to ask then go onto google or about.com and look for something like "top 100 things to ask your girlfriend" or maybe go find a online survey somewhere and copy those questions down. Ask her about politics, religion, what does she think of kids? What kind of relationship is she looking for?

Hell, does she like pets? Guns? Whats her opinion on alcohol? Mention sports and activities that you would like to try and see her response.

And before you start asking about where to take her on dates consider signing up the two of you for a dance class. The women love a man who can dance.
 
Relationship advice?

Just talk to her about anything. If she is uninterested or doesn't like you, oh well. That's usually how it goes with women.
 
How well of friends are you? Have you just met or kind of did (IE: Within the last couple months)

You won't be able to work up a great relationship (together as a couple or even great friend) that fast so things won't come that quickly if you haven't known them for long. If you've known them for a long time you probably will get to the point where you can babble on for hours with them (both ways, hehe, when it's one way there's a problem.)

Looking for a subject to talk about, at any time, means a big problem in the conversation right there. If that comes up at any point it means it's about time to stop the conversation, get off the phone, go somewhere else, etc. Smooth transitions are what keep things going.
 
I just love how fools always have to chime in with the exact oposite thing people want to hear.
-.-

Heres my tip: Don't over ask the following: "Are you ok?" , "Is everything alright?" , "Is anything wrong?" etc etc etc
You want to care, but not be overbearing.
 
just listen and make follow-on questions for everything she talks about; this can go on for hours and is very easy, also works well talking to people you've just met.
 
Another 16 posts deleted.
I said that I wanted people to be sensible, and all of you arent going to railroad another thread off topic!
 
Well my friends give me advice, they think i'll get a girlfriend if i just don't talk because they think i'm not right in the head.

"can i sniff your panties now?"

This is just my personal experience with being told how to get girls by other people so i thought i would pass it on. So far it hasn't worked for me :)
 
Mr-Fusion said:
Well my friends give me advice, they think i'll get a girlfriend if i just don't talk because they think i'm not right in the head.

"can i sniff your panties now?"

This is just my personal experience with being told how to get girls by other people so i thought i would pass it on. So far it hasn't worked for me :)
Click to expand...


If only there was some clue as to why....................:eek:
 
bizzy420 said:
ok so let me start off by saying, i cant ask my friends for advice because they'll jsut say something like "F*CK that bitch!", or as long as u get the pu$$y", but thats not the advice im looking for.


heres my situation:

about a year ago i got out of a really long 5 year relationship. so in the last year, i've got with other people, but nobody that i really care about. just dates here and there.

so 2 weeks ago i met this girl, and im really into her..shes someone that i really like. not someone that i just want to mess around with.

heres the problem.

the girls that i've messed around with in the last year, were ppl i already knew, or ppl i met at work, so it was easy to carry a conversation, but for some reason i dont know what to say to this new girl i met. its like when i see her i kinda run out of things to say, and i feel these awkward moments of silence.

when i call her i always ask the same things like:

so how was your day? how was work? what did you do today?,
but thats about it. i dont know what to talk about.

can anyone help me out here? any advice on what i could do to get the conversation going? THX i really appreciate it.
Click to expand...

If you can't talk to her, don't bother; it's most likely going to be one sided, if it ever does get off the ground
 
bizzy420 said:
ok so let me start off by saying, i cant ask my friends for advice because they'll jsut say something like "F*CK that bitch!", or as long as u get the pu$$y", but thats not the advice im looking for.


heres my situation:

about a year ago i got out of a really long 5 year relationship. so in the last year, i've got with other people, but nobody that i really care about. just dates here and there.

so 2 weeks ago i met this girl, and im really into her..shes someone that i really like. not someone that i just want to mess around with.

heres the problem.

the girls that i've messed around with in the last year, were ppl i already knew, or ppl i met at work, so it was easy to carry a conversation, but for some reason i dont know what to say to this new girl i met. its like when i see her i kinda run out of things to say, and i feel these awkward moments of silence.

when i call her i always ask the same things like:

so how was your day? how was work? what did you do today?,
but thats about it. i dont know what to talk about.

can anyone help me out here? any advice on what i could do to get the conversation going? THX i really appreciate it.
Click to expand...

Hehe, it's a common problem don't worry.
Basically it happens if you fancy the girl, the reason is because you fear you might say something stupid and make yourself look like a prat, however if you stand there like a lemon you also look a prat.
With girls you just "mess about with" (have a casual date etc) you tend to find it a lot easier to talk, you don't really care what you say.

The best advice is to be yourself, don't try and force anything out of yourself, say what you want to say.
I mean don't talk for the simple reason of just trying to make contact, it's silly....if you want to talk to her do so, about what you want to.
Don't think "oh i'm gonna call her, what shall i talk about"
What you should be calling about is when you want to know how she is doing or to ask her out on a date blah blah blah.

Sometimes it's hard to talk because you think they will see you as an idiot, generally if you think this then you arn't an idiot you just have to relax, they will think the same about how you act as you do about the way they act.

I can't say to you what to say or how to start a conversation, it is entirely up to you, i never "force" conversation with women and that way i stay cool and don't put myself on the spot.

When i was younger i was terrible, talking to a girl i liked i would blush, not think of anything to say and the thought of what i looked like to them made me even worse, i was quite shy.
It didn't help when my mates would go and get the attention of a girl i liked and said "oh sam has something to say to you" that is awful, and it is forced conversation if you do say anything and simmilar to what you may feel.

I havn't tried to get in a relationship with a woman for many years now, in theory i wouldn't need to either.
Mabye one day i will meet someone who i get along with who likes my unique personality who i can enjoy life with, until then i stay single, i will not "hunt" for a relationship like a lot of young men seem to do.

jondy said:
If you can't talk to her, don't bother; it's most likely going to be one sided, if it ever does get off the ground
Click to expand...
Sorry to offend but that advice isn't really helpful, sometimes you can have a potential couple that would get along really well but have trouble talking at first.
Prime example would be my parents, apparently at first my dad was worse than i used to be but guess what my parents have been happily together for 30 odd years now.
 
I've known my "friend" (*cough*gf*cough*) for about a year now and I still run out of things to talk about; mostly because we've covered everything in 5 hour-long phone sessions :D

Basically, I start off with a mandatory, "How are you doing?" (or sometimes I steal her famous "How is you?") and then I ask if there's anything new. Since we go to school I usually mention stuff about homework and crap. Mostly though, I am fortunate enough that she likes to talk, so I come up with conversations based off of what she is saying to me. :cheers:

But, if you really want a good conversation, do the "What's your favorite..." and WRITE IDEAS DOWN. Don't just be like, "What's your favorite food?" and then act retarded because you don't know the next favorite thing to ask.

Also, talk about interests... those make for long conversations. Talk about what you believe, talk about long-winded topics like fate and religion. Talk about your life, your childhood... at least I have an excuse of not being able to think about what to talk about since we've exhausted most topics.

Here's a starter list...

"What is your favorite past time?"
"What did you use to do as a kid that you remember was really fun?"
"What do you like to do?"
"If you could be any animal... what would you be, and why?"
"What do you think of fate?"
"Do you believe in astrology?" (this makes for good convos, :D)

If she likes mythical things, like Greek gods and stuff like that, ask her to tell you about them.

Now, those may seem "cheesy" but my gf loves questions like that, so everyone is different. Start off with interests... childhood may be touchy at first.

I wish you luck... if you're lucky she likes to talk. Two people who can't think of much to say isn't very fun. I am so glad my gf likes to talk and think of conversations, I'd be in trouble if she didn't :p Then again, you get much better when you practice with people.
 
short recoil said:
Sorry to offend but that advice isn't really helpful, sometimes you can have a potential couple that would get along really well but have trouble talking at first.
Prime example would be my parents, apparently at first my dad was worse than i used to be but guess what my parents have been happily together for 30 odd years now.
Click to expand...

None taken, you misunderstand me; the implication was don't bother to 'try', as that's most probably the root of the problem in the first place

EDIT:

SubKamran said:
"What is your favorite past time?"
"What did you use to do as a kid that you remember was really fun?"
"What do you like to do?"
"If you could be any animal... what would you be, and why?"
"What do you think of fate?"
"Do you believe in astrology?" (this makes for good convos, :D)
Click to expand...

Heh, niiice. :)
 
bizzy420 said:
ok so let me start off by saying, i cant ask my friends for advice because they'll jsut say something like "F*CK that bitch!", or as long as u get the pu$$y", but thats not the advice im looking for.


heres my situation:

about a year ago i got out of a really long 5 year relationship. so in the last year, i've got with other people, but nobody that i really care about. just dates here and there.

so 2 weeks ago i met this girl, and im really into her..shes someone that i really like. not someone that i just want to mess around with.

heres the problem.

the girls that i've messed around with in the last year, were ppl i already knew, or ppl i met at work, so it was easy to carry a conversation, but for some reason i dont know what to say to this new girl i met. its like when i see her i kinda run out of things to say, and i feel these awkward moments of silence.

when i call her i always ask the same things like:

so how was your day? how was work? what did you do today?,
but thats about it. i dont know what to talk about.

can anyone help me out here? any advice on what i could do to get the conversation going? THX i really appreciate it.
Click to expand...

STOP THINKING.
 
I'm afraid that apart from just be plain nice, the only advice I can offer is don't listen to 15357.

The horrors of being 14 :(
 
Listen to CrazyHarij, just shut your brain off and you're golden.
 
Listen guys.

It's a lot like binary molecular compounds and their acidic counterparts.

(prefix) + (stem atom) + ide

Example. P2Cl3 = diphosphorous trichloride

Get it?
 
yes, a halflife2.net forums full of game adicted people is a excellent place to ask about girls =D
 
RakuraiTenjin said:
How well of friends are you? Have you just met or kind of did (IE: Within the last couple months)

You won't be able to work up a great relationship (together as a couple or even great friend) that fast so things won't come that quickly if you haven't known them for long. If you've known them for a long time you probably will get to the point where you can babble on for hours with them (both ways, hehe, when it's one way there's a problem.)

Looking for a subject to talk about, at any time, means a big problem in the conversation right there. If that comes up at any point it means it's about time to stop the conversation, get off the phone, go somewhere else, etc. Smooth transitions are what keep things going.
Click to expand...

yea i jsut met her on halloween. thanks for all the advice guys, i really do appreciate it.
 
destrukt said:
just listen and make follow-on questions for everything she talks about; this can go on for hours and is very easy, also works well talking to people you've just met.
Click to expand...


thx bro i'll keep that in mind.
 
short recoil said:
Hehe, it's a common problem don't worry.
Basically it happens if you fancy the girl, the reason is because you fear you might say something stupid and make yourself look like a prat, however if you stand there like a lemon you also look a prat.
With girls you just "mess about with" (have a casual date etc) you tend to find it a lot easier to talk, you don't really care what you say.

The best advice is to be yourself, don't try and force anything out of yourself, say what you want to say.
I mean don't talk for the simple reason of just trying to make contact, it's silly....if you want to talk to her do so, about what you want to.
Don't think "oh i'm gonna call her, what shall i talk about"
What you should be calling about is when you want to know how she is doing or to ask her out on a date blah blah blah.

Sometimes it's hard to talk because you think they will see you as an idiot, generally if you think this then you arn't an idiot you just have to relax, they will think the same about how you act as you do about the way they act.

I can't say to you what to say or how to start a conversation, it is entirely up to you, i never "force" conversation with women and that way i stay cool and don't put myself on the spot.

When i was younger i was terrible, talking to a girl i liked i would blush, not think of anything to say and the thought of what i looked like to them made me even worse, i was quite shy.
It didn't help when my mates would go and get the attention of a girl i liked and said "oh sam has something to say to you" that is awful, and it is forced conversation if you do say anything and simmilar to what you may feel.

I havn't tried to get in a relationship with a woman for many years now, in theory i wouldn't need to either.
Mabye one day i will meet someone who i get along with who likes my unique personality who i can enjoy life with, until then i stay single, i will not "hunt" for a relationship like a lot of young men seem to do.


Sorry to offend but that advice isn't really helpful, sometimes you can have a potential couple that would get along really well but have trouble talking at first.
Prime example would be my parents, apparently at first my dad was worse than i used to be but guess what my parents have been happily together for 30 odd years now.
Click to expand...



thx man, lots of good info there. the things is when i was younger it was alot easier to talk to girls, but now that im older it seems harder.
 
SubKamran said:
I've known my "friend" (*cough*gf*cough*) for about a year now and I still run out of things to talk about; mostly because we've covered everything in 5 hour-long phone sessions :D

Basically, I start off with a mandatory, "How are you doing?" (or sometimes I steal her famous "How is you?") and then I ask if there's anything new. Since we go to school I usually mention stuff about homework and crap. Mostly though, I am fortunate enough that she likes to talk, so I come up with conversations based off of what she is saying to me. :cheers:

But, if you really want a good conversation, do the "What's your favorite..." and WRITE IDEAS DOWN. Don't just be like, "What's your favorite food?" and then act retarded because you don't know the next favorite thing to ask.

Also, talk about interests... those make for long conversations. Talk about what you believe, talk about long-winded topics like fate and religion. Talk about your life, your childhood... at least I have an excuse of not being able to think about what to talk about since we've exhausted most topics.

Here's a starter list...

"What is your favorite past time?"
"What did you use to do as a kid that you remember was really fun?"
"What do you like to do?"
"If you could be any animal... what would you be, and why?"
"What do you think of fate?"
"Do you believe in astrology?" (this makes for good convos, :D)

If she likes mythical things, like Greek gods and stuff like that, ask her to tell you about them.

Now, those may seem "cheesy" but my gf loves questions like that, so everyone is different. Start off with interests... childhood may be touchy at first.

I wish you luck... if you're lucky she likes to talk. Two people who can't think of much to say isn't very fun. I am so glad my gf likes to talk and think of conversations, I'd be in trouble if she didn't :p Then again, you get much better when you practice with people.
Click to expand...

man i been out of the game for so long i cant believe i forgot how to talk to girls man. its weird because i can carry a conversation with her friends (GIRLS) easily.

thx for the info man i really do appreciate it.
 
I have the same problem of being afraid of saying something dumb and getting flabbergasted and speechless.
 
OvA said:
I have the same problem of being afraid of saying something dumb and getting flabbergasted and speechless.
Click to expand...

Just go up to her and say "Your lewdness makes me flabbergasted and speechless! And I am your huckleberry."
 
1) stop thinking
2) Don't overuse closed ended questions (one word answer questions)

However sometimes it's a good idea just to ask things like how was your day? then follow it up with what did you do? So going from a closed ended to a open ended question. :D
 
Speak in fun, be facetious. Give her your biggest smile when you walk into her. Speak of anything: your thoughts, what you have been doing this day, everything. Be interested in what she says and continue the conversation in the same pattern. To conclude, love me.
 
i just don't understand the problem. Shouldn't you try and make a good first impression on anybody you talk to? If so, why's it different from guys to girls, you don't have to marry every girl you talk to so don't worry about trying to make them want your babies.
 
xcellerate said:
i just don't understand the problem. Shouldn't you try and make a good first impression on anybody you talk to? If so, why's it different from guys to girls, you don't have to marry every girl you talk to so don't worry about trying to make them want your babies.
Click to expand...

Well, let's face it. Breaking the ice in conversations with males is arguably far easier.

"...So you catch the game last night?"
"OH YEAH, THE COWBOYS ****ING RULED."
"DAMN STRAIGHT."
"WOOOOHOOOO!"
"WANT SOME BEER?"
"**** YEAH."
 
well the question, "what animal would you be and why" was a good one. we laughed and talked about that for awhile. turns out shes an animal lover and so am i.
 
Pesmerga said:
Listen guys.

It's a lot like binary molecular compounds and their acidic counterparts.

(prefix) + (stem atom) + ide

Example. P2Cl3 = diphosphorous trichloride

Get it?
Click to expand...
Someone paid attention when they were taught nomenclature in chemistry :O
 
Absinthe said:
Well, let's face it. Breaking the ice in conversations with males is arguably far easier.

"...So you catch the game last night?"
"OH YEAH, THE COWBOYS ****ING RULED."
"DAMN STRAIGHT."
"WOOOOHOOOO!"
"WANT SOME BEER?"
"**** YEAH."
Click to expand...

What kinda asshole watches a ****ing Cowboys game?

My conversations go like this

"Dude, I just took the biggest duce"
"OMG NASTY!!"
"WOW MAN COME LOOK AT THIS!"
**looks in** "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" **vomit**
 
bizzy420 said:
well the question, "what animal would you be and why" was a good one. we laughed and talked about that for awhile. turns out shes an animal lover and so am i.
Click to expand...

See, I know stuff. :cheers:

If I were you, I would not try to act like a dork at first, even if you are. Don't act stupid, that is important. If a girl thinks you're a dork right off the bat, that is it. You have to be witty, charming, and somewhat elusive. Don't just tell them everything straight out... it's not good.

Remember: The first impression is the last impression.
 
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