Car Slut, man admits to having sex with 1000 cars

[CptStern]

A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" ? a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

:O

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles ? a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

:O :O

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new.../Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html

 

[Cormeh]

He must have been "exhausted".

OMFG HAHAHAA

 

[Vegeta897]

That guy needs to curb his sex-drive.

OMFG HAHAHAA

 

[Kula Meenur]

LOL Cormeh + Veggie!!

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles ? a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

I reckon Vanilla should leave the cheating bastard.

 

[CptStern]

oh ffs the site I found the story on (shacknews) has a link to someone doing just as cormeh suggested ...it's NWS ..it's not eye safe either as the man has his ...and the muffler and ..wow, I thought furries were freaks (they are ..sorry Wolfie)

 

[Cormeh]

Jebus, I'm shocked that my fevered imagination brought to light the practices of man-to-car interaction. Well, other than opening the door, sitting inside and manipulating the pedals.

Which incidentally is exactly how to have sex with a real g-g-g-g-girl.

Anyhow, the article. I suppose it's no different from the guys and/or couples who have a relationship with those "real doll" things, but I reckon if he confessed to this fetish in Britain he'd be on the sex offenders register in a heartbeat.

 

[soulslicer]

He must have been "exhausted".

OMFG HAHAHAA

Tired would be a more appropriate word. This guys sexual drive is really high though I got to say..

 

[Dax]

Shit, I'm afraid of leaving my car parked in the open in fear of some "carophile" raping it. I don't want anyone's jizz in the fuel tank :/

 

[Cormeh]

Tired would be a more appropriate word. This guys sexual drive is really high though I got to say..

No. Mine's better. GTFO.

 

[A-Bike]

~sigh~

Somewhere out there is a man like that for me. If only more of your species were so open minded.

 

[PvtRyan]

You see! I told you! I told you this would happen if you let them queers marry eachother. Next thing you know, this pervert wants to marry his car!

 

[Slug Advisor]

It's computers for me.

 

[<RJMC>]

I guess his dream job is to be a car washer

and motor trend is like playboy for him

 

[Ennui]

It's computers for me.

Alas, tis hard to penetrate a disk drive without significant penile injury.

 

[Felix]

Slug advisor only has a floppy anyway.


Hah.

 

[MJ12]

I posted this over a year ago, Stern. Get with the program old man!

Edit: My bad, :O Different guy, who knew there was more than one Car Slut?

 

[MRG]

He must have been "exhausted".

OMFG HAHAHAA

That guy needs to curb his sex-drive.

OMFG HAHAHAA

LMAO!!

Sigh.. Too Funny!

-MRG

 

[TCfromBN]

That guy needs to put the brakes on this sex drive.

oh, i made a funny

 

[Xendance]

He must have been "exhausted".

OMFG HAHAHAA

I lol'd

That guy needs to curb his sex-drive.

OMFG HAHAHAA

I lol'd

Slug advisor only has a floppy anyway.


Hah.

I lol'd

LMAO!!

Sigh.. Too Funny!

-MRG

I lol'd

That guy needs to put the brakes on this sex drive.

oh, i made a funny

I lol'd

 

[BamBam38]

Ya he's definately a robot.

 

[Sulkdodds]

It's an outrage that he isn't doing anything actually bad. What's wrong with morality?

 

[CyberPitz]

It's a sin to do it in the tail pipe.

In other news, wasn't this posted last year some time? Either way, when I read it, I was getting a semi.

 

[Nitre]

It's like that guy who was taken into custody for having sex with a bike in his hotel room. Only on a (much) larger scale.

 

[thenerdguy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI

 

[highlander]

It's a sin to do it in the tail pipe.

In other news, wasn't this posted last year some time? Either way, when I read it, I was getting a semi.

A semi....TRAILER!!







What? I can't make jokes? **** YOU.

 

[Xendance]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI

I lol'd again.

 

[thenerdguy]

 

[McGooTheWise]

Is that bill gates?

I doubt it would actually fit...






I mean, that hole isn't big enough...

 

[L3N!N]

Gas prices the way they are...

 

[hool10]

I was wondering how until MRG posted that lovely image. Thanks for making the picture clearer MRG. Wouldn't it like burn, cut or like a rusty tail pipe hurt him though? Also cormeh:

I suppose it's no different from the guys and/or couples who have a relationship with those "real doll" things

WTF you can't be serious dude!

 

[Tagaziel]

oh ffs the site I found the story on (shacknews) has a link to someone doing just as cormeh suggested ...it's NWS ..it's not eye safe either as the man has his ...and the muffler and ..wow, I thought furries were freaks (they are ..sorry Wolfie)

Real-life tends to produce even more disturbing people...

I once found in a sexuality dictionary the term autopederasty, meaning "penetrating one's anus with own penis". I mean...

WTF?

 

[Asuka]

Lmfao!

 

[Raziaar]

No, that substance dripping out of your cars exhaust pipe is not Italian dressing.

 

[Omnomnick]

How does he become sexually attracted to vehicles...I mean, come on thats just stupid...

A car drives down the road and a mound suddenly appears in his trousers, what if he goes near a motorway at rush hour :O

Or...

Does he watch car pornography?

 

[taviow]

Finally, a person like me!
I thought I was the only one!
I MUST MEET THAT GUY!
I can't believe you guys don't think cars need more love, most of them are alone all day.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

...woah, pretty weird guy.
Well, whatever floats your boat...

I guess...

 

[Raziaar]

I bet he watches car collisions all the time. Whether it be that good 'ol face ****ing head-on stuff, or a little gentle fender bender in the rear. Maybe even the kinky T-bone gets him off most.

 

[VirusType2]

^lol

fap fap fap to NASCAR


what a ****ing lunatic.

 

[15357]

The world must be coming to an end.





Well, at least a step further to the end....