Classic IRC Moments

PistolOnly

PistolOnly

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1) Anything from bash.org/i-rox.com which isn't yours will be classified as lam0ring

2) Don't post anything too offensive as stated under forum rules

3) Take off timestamps unless it adds to comical value (rule blatently nicked from bash.org)



So I'll start with today's #halflife2 gem:

<CrazyHarij> And my mother seems to think I have gay tendencies because of some stuff she suspected my biological father about.. Whenever there's a topless guy on TV she asks me what I'm looking at
<Pi|Mu|Rho> CrazyHarij: you should say "his cock"
<Pi|Mu|Rho> that'd shut her up
 
Ah! He has a topless guy for an avatar! Now we know what he's looking at.
 
Don't have logs, but the time I accidentally set a Q ban on '*!@*' on a very busy channel I found rather funny, although the other channel members didn't see the funny side.

Well OK it was more of an experiment than an accident, but atleast I know now.
 
<@onions> lets play kick random people!
<@SidewinderX> yaya!
* SidewinderX was kicked by SidewinderX (Random people, let's go! <85>)
* SidewinderX has joined #halflife2
* Q sets mode: +o SidewinderX
<@SidewinderX> hmmm
 
<Quad`> ****
<Quad`> there is sperm all over my arrow keys
* WillH hates it when he gets sperm all over his eyes
<OatmealMu> speaking of sperm...
<Spudman> wouldnt it be cool if there was like 1 50 foot long sperm
<Spudman> and we called him george or something
<OatmealMu> that you could train like a pokemon?
<Quad`> roflmfao!
<Spudman> that would be cool
<WillH> No
<Spudman> yes it would!
<WillH> Spud shut the hell up
OatmealMu> "Gotta’ Jerk ’Em All! Spermamon!"

---

[20:44] <Pinapoke> I need to do some funneh shit in those AIM chat rooms
[20:44] <Spudman> Pinapoke, the guy was blowing a dog :eek:

---

(@Spudman) im in the mood for love
(@Spudman) but other people are home

---

(20:28:16) (@Fenric) hate saying this but Star Wars bores me these days :( so different to how I used to be a massive fan of it ;(
(20:30:16) (@Spudman) ...
(20:30:25) (@Spudman) i cant beleive i had sex with you!

---

(22:01:14) (@Spudman) hey guys
(22:01:20) (@Spudman) want to hear a bed time story?
(22:01:22) (@Spudman) ok
(22:01:32) (@Spudman) My neck hurt really bad this morning
(22:01:48) (@Spudman) so I have this stuff that you rub into your skin and it makes it hot
(22:01:53) (@Spudman) and helps relax the muscle
(22:02:04) (@Spudman) Well, i put a lot on my hand, rubbed it on my neck
(22:02:13) (@Spudman) then i went to the bathroom
(22:02:17) (@Spudman) took a piss
(22:02:22) (@Spudman) without washing my hand
(22:02:34) (@Spudman) by balls burnt for 2 hours :(

---

(21:05:19) (@mrComradeSpuD) she asked me to always have safe sex, then i told her i would need to have sex first, then she looked at me, astonished, and said "you're a virgin?"
(21:05:28) (@mrComradeSpuD) i was like "yeah"
(21:05:28) (Foxtrot) lol
(21:05:34) (mrDiSTuRbEd) lol
(21:05:36) (@mrComradeSpuD) she couldnt beleive it
(21:05:40) (@mrComradeSpuD) i was like wtf
(21:05:43) (mrDiSTuRbEd) you shoulda been like, "your a whore?"
(21:06:01) (@mrComradeSpuD) she said i was cute, and she said "well, if you werent 16..."
(21:06:03) (@mrComradeSpuD) i was like
(21:06:05) (@mrComradeSpuD) \o/

---

Those are some of mine from i-rox
 
So spud, when you take a piss you grab you balls or somethin?
 
BWT, I have a few pics that I took when they laughed about Gabe's obecety on GameShout.net Not funny, but compromising those assholes.
 
Oh god:

(@mrBadger) lern to spell

<need-bandwidth> mrBadger
<BFW|Smudge> balderdash
<need-bandwidth> I saw 4 of your kin on the roads this morning on the way down to cornwall
<need-bandwidth> :[
<mrBadger> badgers?
<need-bandwidth> no
<need-bandwidth> snakes

[21:55] * mrBadger runs away
[21:56] <Melly> hrhr i wrote iraq on mrBadger's bottom, he wont get far till its invaded

Linux!

[20:53] <@[-will-]> WHy do you want to use linux anyway? :)
[20:54] <@ComradeB|SuSE> becuase i feel i'm not quite nerdy enough
[20:54] <@ComradeB|SuSE> gotta make up for lack of spots and glasses
[20:54] <@[-will-]> Haha
[20:55] <@ComradeB|SuSE> oh, and the fact i can talk to girls :p
[20:55] <@Blood_God> lol
[20:55] <@[-will-]> Best answer yet ;)


Ahhh good ol' Zakat:

<Zakat> \o/
<Zakat> I rock!
<Zakat> <Zakat> I am hard?
<Zakat> * mrBadger sets mode +m
<Zakat> <mrBadger> pre-emptive strike
<Zakat> :D
<ComradeBadger> lol
<ComradeBadger> anyway, he's still being a cock
<MaxiKana> lol
Closing Link: Zakat by stockholm.se.quakenet.org (Killed (*.quakenet.org (you don't rock by any stretch of the imagination)))

* Zakat molests mrBadger!
<mrBadger> can you stop doing that?
<mrBadger> please?
<LoginHere> lol

Marik - tastic:

[22:34] <Marik> think it might be coz im using NT :(
[22:35] <ComradeB> um
[22:35] <ComradeB> that has NOTHING to do with the state of your undies Marik

My favourite:

(@mrBadger) is munneh h4xed?
(@Munro) I SUCK COCK
(@Munro) h4xed? why would you think that?


:D
 
ComradeBadger said:
My favourite:

(@mrBadger) is munneh h4xed?
(@Munro) I SUCK COCK
(@Munro) h4xed? why would you think that?
Click to expand...

ROFL :LOL:, good ol munro and his supermarket mind ;)
 
Hmm, you people must keep logs of your IRC conversations?
 
(@Majestic_XII) i think im onions friend now when he got loads of anime/ecchi/hentai pics of me
(@Majestic_XII) so that good
(@Majestic_XII) +s
(@ComradeBadger) lol
(@Abomi) of you?
(@ComradeBadger) hahahah :D
 
<Quad`> ****
<Quad`> there is sperm all over my arrow keys
* WillH hates it when he gets sperm all over his eyes
<OatmealMu> speaking of sperm...
<Spudman> wouldnt it be cool if there was like 1 50 foot long sperm
<Spudman> and we called him george or something
<OatmealMu> that you could train like a pokemon?
<Quad`> roflmfao!
<Spudman> that would be cool
<WillH> No
<Spudman> yes it would!
<WillH> Spud shut the hell up
OatmealMu> "Gotta’ Jerk ’Em All! Spermamon!"
Click to expand...


...lmao - Lovely!
 
Well... the only remotely funny one I can remember was my greeting...

<BrianD> Jello peoples!
 
(@Munro) hes got an obsession with black dildos
(@synth) yeah :/
(@Majestic_XII) who hasnt?
-----------------------------
(@synth|afk) OMGWTFBBQ
(@synth|afk) xD
(@synth|afk) ASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFasdf.as
(@synth|afk) df?.as?
(@synth|afk) dfl;
(@synth|afk) asd?fl;as
! @synth|afk dies
(DiSTuRbEdofX) die
(DiSTuRbEdofX) die
(DiSTuRbEdofX) :-P
(Reaven) Calm the **** down
(Reaven) You?re scaring the kittens
! @synth|afk scares kittens
! @|Matt| shits pants
-----------------------------------
(WillH) Our verification process has found that the Phone number you submitted cannot currently support DSL service; however, you do qualify for High-Speed Dial-up access. <- WTF DOES THAT MEAN?????? HIGH SPEED DIAL UP?? DAMnit i hate the world
(@synth) having high speed dialup is like having Gabe Newell go on a diet
(@synth) ...it just doesn't work
(WillH) Hey don't diss teh Gabe synth
(WillH) I'll tell on you
(Sarin) i prefer, Having high speed dialup is liking cooling yourself down by walking into a house fire.
(WillH) I'll drive down there and tattle on you
(@synth) he is our God, but I have the right to insult him anyway :p
(Sarin) if he was god
(Sarin) he wouldve done HL2 in 7 days
(WillH) Yeah he isn't god, just a really cool guy
(Sarin) it's taking bloody years
(WillH) are you comparing HL2 to the whole damn planet?
(WillH) HL2 would've taken god 5 minutes
(Sarin) imagine if God delayed genesis?
(Sarin) "err yeah, satan has stolen the source code for eden, so we're gonna push it's launch back a few million years"
-------------------------------------------

the last one is classic :D
 
(@synth) having high speed dialup is like having Gabe Newell go on a diet
(@synth) ...it just doesn't work

Sig material! I got first dibs!
 
<Stingey> i gotta stop flushing my mouth with cola really
<Pi|Mu|Rho> try hemlock instead
* Stingey goes googling
<Stingey> First hit
<Stingey> Welcome to End-of-Life Choices.
<Stingey> Hemlock, or poison hemlock, is a large, coarse, unpleasant-smelling plant, all parts of which are poisonous and may be fatal if eaten. It is the poison hemlock that was used to put Socrates to death.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Try it. You might like it.
 
<s1mmo> btw, I couldnt get them to have sex so I gave up :p
<Chris_D> s1mmo!! :eek: I wouldn't want them to have sex :eek:

urrrr....dont ask :p

<ComradeB|OES> if you want porn
<ComradeB|OES> just use www.grannies*************.jpg
<ComradeB|OES> i am not responsible for a link i just made up
<s1mmo> NO! I JUST CLICKED IT
<ComradeB|OES> s1mmo, what did it do?
<ComradeB|OES> the link
<s1mmo> display a granny spreading
<s1mmo> :/
<s1mmo> and another holding her ****(jumblies) :x
<ComradeB|OES> ewwwwwwww
<ComradeB|OES> hahaha s1mmo owned

(Censored for the young-uns around here :D)
 
simmo said:
<ComradeB|OES> if you want porn
<ComradeB|OES> just use www.grannies*************.jpg
<ComradeB|OES> i am not responsible for a link i just made up
<s1mmo> NO! I JUST CLICKED IT
<ComradeB|OES> s1mmo, what did it do?
<ComradeB|OES> the link
<s1mmo> display a granny spreading
<s1mmo> :/
<s1mmo> and another holding her ****(jumblies) :x
<ComradeB|OES> ewwwwwwww
<ComradeB|OES> hahaha s1mmo owned

(Censored for the young-uns around here :D)
Click to expand...

Was that in the staff channel? If so, Badger TOTALLY ripped that from #halflife2 when nw909 accidentally made that link up.. poser!
 
<Deviant> whats strange about IRC is, that if you acted like this in real life then you would be thrown in to a mental hospital
 
ComradeBadger said:
Yeah, he did it accidentally, and I did it on purpose .. eheheheh :D
Click to expand...

Man, I was almost kicked for that :\

But it was funny, I didn't think it would work, oh well.
 
rule of thumb: If you think it might be a porn site, it already is.
 
my and synth share this one, though neither of us said it, so it must have been other people while we were away lol

<Spudman> I cry when I mastarbate
<Spudman> can you come over? I don’t want to cry tonight
<synth> should I bring the crack?
 
Stingey said:
<Stingey> i gotta stop flushing my mouth with cola really
<Pi|Mu|Rho> try hemlock instead
* Stingey goes googling
<Stingey> First hit
<Stingey> Welcome to End-of-Life Choices.
<Stingey> Hemlock, or poison hemlock, is a large, coarse, unpleasant-smelling plant, all parts of which are poisonous and may be fatal if eaten. It is the poison hemlock that was used to put Socrates to death.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Try it. You might like it.
Click to expand...
/me strokes Pi and giggles :D
 
<@Andrew|Away> wtf theres people being naked and talking on irc on this random irc channel
<@Andrew|Away> one of them's got a webcam - and ewwww
<@Andrew|Away> :O
<Pinapoke> lol
<@Andrew|Away> its like wTF?
<@Andrew|Away> the cam's well scary...
<@Andrew|Away> i tell ya's its mad
<@Andrew|Away> 9:38pm <@Coma|naked> grapey, u got a cam? :eek:
<@Andrew|Away> 9:38pm <@tinker|naked> http://grapey.weakmind.org/bearcam.php
<Pinapoke> ?
<CrazyHarij> o m f g
<CrazyHarij> PRON!
<CrazyHarij> B A N
<CrazyHarij> Oh it's a gal
<Pinapoke> all good if she's pretty
<[-EVIL]> eww.. i bet she pisses on people
 
Pressure said:
So spud, when you take a piss you grab you balls or somethin?
Click to expand...
ROFLMAO

Sorry for the late reply I just looked into this thread. :LOL:
 
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