Cutting and Other Self Injury
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For the record, I'm currently a 19-year old male at the University of Washington. For a short period of time (several years), I used to cut myself for various reasons. I will make an effort to share my thoughts.
I can offer several explanations as to why people cut, or otherwise inflict self-mutilation on themselves. Before I continue, people should realize that the "knife to the flesh" stereotype is a poor fit of true self-multilation, and that a great deal of people who do this, including myself, find other, less physically hazardous ways of hurting themselves.
The first reason is that, despite what people think, "cutting" is not necessarily a cry for attention or even a way to release emotional stress. It's quite reasonable to assume that people who have cut themselves deal with a comparable amount of stress and depression relative to those around them. It's not very flattering of people to make derogatory comments about behaviors which involve circumstances that they themselves, have not experienced. Some people here will say "gg noob" whenever they defeat somebody in an online game. If it were up to me, I could comment about it being a psychological disorder that revolves around the person's desire for attention, and that person probably has a severe dysfunction for coping with loss. You might think this is a silly argument, and that you do it "just for fun". I will make the same argument for my case.
"Cutting" in general, sometimes involves something called algolagnia. Dictionaries will refer to it as a "disorder" where individuals feel a thrill or rush of gratification in experiencing pain. This is somewhat similar to terms like masochism, but masochism is distinct in that the gratification is typically sexual, and algolagnia is simply pleasure, in general. I fall in this category, closer to masochism. This conversation can continue with the definition of "BDSM" and "sex play", but that has little else to do with self-mutilation.
Knowing this, it's reasonable to expect that a number of people cut themselves, because they like it. I will not make comments about whether this is a behavioral problem, as I a a participant of this. I consider myself to be in a perfectly sound state of mind, and am actively struggling in my faith to determine whether this is ultimately a rational thing to do. The act of cutting yourself isn't necessarily something you can't control, nor for a need of attention; it is something that is as normal to that individual, as it is for some of you to go skiing, to drink soda, or to play computer games.
For others, there is to some extent, emotional distress. This notion comes from the fact that females in general, are more prone to this behavior than males, and that females tend to be more visibly emotional than more males. Cutting oneself is indeed a form of coping with stress and pain, and in these cases, the reason is unique to the person doing. Because I had no qualms with cutting myself (my items of choice were a small paring knife, or the saw edges on tin-foil boxes), I even made it a form of motivation at one point - I started cutting myself if I felt I performed poorly on exams, or otherwise to my dissatisfaction. You could consider this a form of negative reinforcement - but I no longer do this, mostly because the negative reinforcement was not worth the potential health hazards. Others also feel that cutting themself is a perfectly rational way to deal with their distress, and nobody, not even myself, can really be in a position to judge whether they are entitled to do so.
A good drama that explores algolagnia and masochism in general, is named "Secretary", and has a few interesting discussions about self-multilation. I would recommend it to anybody interested in one viewpoint, about how relationships between algolagnic/masochistic humans can thrive. In one sequence, the protagonist makes the comment,
I cannot profess that this is the case for everybody, but this has been true to an extent, for myself. For these people, cutting themselves is simply a way of coping with the stress around them, but it's important to realize that they do so as a result of their own unique circumstances. None of us can say that it is truly wrong, or that one is an attention mongrel for doing so.
It's rather well known that more females tend to cut themselves than males, and that females also tend to be more visibly emotional than males. For this reason, people have made the incorrect extrapolation that cutting onself is entirely a way of revealing their angst. For some, cutting begins as a form of experimentation to see whether it truly is an effective way to deal with depression. Those that continue to do so, either have hope that the method will work for them, or have realized that they take pleasure in doing so. Again, this is a rather broad generalization, but I feel I am in the position to make that comment, having been in a very similar position.
Whether or not this behavior is morally right or wrong is not up to us. You can easily turn "cutting", into a facet of masochism, then BDSM, and eventually sex play. However, people that have indulged in any sort of fetish will be sure to defend any derogatory remarks made against it. Studies have also shown (most prominently, the Alfred Kinsey studies) that a significant portion of Americans partake in BDSM play as well, which would lend itself to the fact that there is a notable population of algolagnic enthusiasts.
If you know somebody that is in this situation, it is not your right to claim that what they do is wrong. Even myself, where I have self-inflicted pain on numerous occasions, cannot point the finger to a friend and say they are irrational and need to quit. The people that truly believe that what they do is an effective coping mechanism, as well as people that take personal gratification in hurting themselves, typically do not publicize it. The vast majority of those who do, are experimenting, and/or wish to make their angst vocal. I have seen some Livejournal communities centered around cutting, and I think it's absolutely silly that people share methods of cutting and post pictures of their wounds. People that understand why they do, what they do, will realize that their situation is relatively unique, and have their own justification for it.
Everybody may get depressed from time to time, and everybody deals with it a certain way. Everybody also lusts for something from time to time - and likewise, everybody deals with it in their own way. It just happens that how we deal with it, is probably not in a manner you do. That certainly makes us uncommon, but far from unnatural.
I can offer several explanations as to why people cut, or otherwise inflict self-mutilation on themselves. Before I continue, people should realize that the "knife to the flesh" stereotype is a poor fit of true self-multilation, and that a great deal of people who do this, including myself, find other, less physically hazardous ways of hurting themselves.
The first reason is that, despite what people think, "cutting" is not necessarily a cry for attention or even a way to release emotional stress. It's quite reasonable to assume that people who have cut themselves deal with a comparable amount of stress and depression relative to those around them. It's not very flattering of people to make derogatory comments about behaviors which involve circumstances that they themselves, have not experienced. Some people here will say "gg noob" whenever they defeat somebody in an online game. If it were up to me, I could comment about it being a psychological disorder that revolves around the person's desire for attention, and that person probably has a severe dysfunction for coping with loss. You might think this is a silly argument, and that you do it "just for fun". I will make the same argument for my case.
"Cutting" in general, sometimes involves something called algolagnia. Dictionaries will refer to it as a "disorder" where individuals feel a thrill or rush of gratification in experiencing pain. This is somewhat similar to terms like masochism, but masochism is distinct in that the gratification is typically sexual, and algolagnia is simply pleasure, in general. I fall in this category, closer to masochism. This conversation can continue with the definition of "BDSM" and "sex play", but that has little else to do with self-mutilation.
Knowing this, it's reasonable to expect that a number of people cut themselves, because they like it. I will not make comments about whether this is a behavioral problem, as I a a participant of this. I consider myself to be in a perfectly sound state of mind, and am actively struggling in my faith to determine whether this is ultimately a rational thing to do. The act of cutting yourself isn't necessarily something you can't control, nor for a need of attention; it is something that is as normal to that individual, as it is for some of you to go skiing, to drink soda, or to play computer games.
For others, there is to some extent, emotional distress. This notion comes from the fact that females in general, are more prone to this behavior than males, and that females tend to be more visibly emotional than more males. Cutting oneself is indeed a form of coping with stress and pain, and in these cases, the reason is unique to the person doing. Because I had no qualms with cutting myself (my items of choice were a small paring knife, or the saw edges on tin-foil boxes), I even made it a form of motivation at one point - I started cutting myself if I felt I performed poorly on exams, or otherwise to my dissatisfaction. You could consider this a form of negative reinforcement - but I no longer do this, mostly because the negative reinforcement was not worth the potential health hazards. Others also feel that cutting themself is a perfectly rational way to deal with their distress, and nobody, not even myself, can really be in a position to judge whether they are entitled to do so.
A good drama that explores algolagnia and masochism in general, is named "Secretary", and has a few interesting discussions about self-multilation. I would recommend it to anybody interested in one viewpoint, about how relationships between algolagnic/masochistic humans can thrive. In one sequence, the protagonist makes the comment,
I cannot profess that this is the case for everybody, but this has been true to an extent, for myself. For these people, cutting themselves is simply a way of coping with the stress around them, but it's important to realize that they do so as a result of their own unique circumstances. None of us can say that it is truly wrong, or that one is an attention mongrel for doing so.
It's rather well known that more females tend to cut themselves than males, and that females also tend to be more visibly emotional than males. For this reason, people have made the incorrect extrapolation that cutting onself is entirely a way of revealing their angst. For some, cutting begins as a form of experimentation to see whether it truly is an effective way to deal with depression. Those that continue to do so, either have hope that the method will work for them, or have realized that they take pleasure in doing so. Again, this is a rather broad generalization, but I feel I am in the position to make that comment, having been in a very similar position.
Whether or not this behavior is morally right or wrong is not up to us. You can easily turn "cutting", into a facet of masochism, then BDSM, and eventually sex play. However, people that have indulged in any sort of fetish will be sure to defend any derogatory remarks made against it. Studies have also shown (most prominently, the Alfred Kinsey studies) that a significant portion of Americans partake in BDSM play as well, which would lend itself to the fact that there is a notable population of algolagnic enthusiasts.
If you know somebody that is in this situation, it is not your right to claim that what they do is wrong. Even myself, where I have self-inflicted pain on numerous occasions, cannot point the finger to a friend and say they are irrational and need to quit. The people that truly believe that what they do is an effective coping mechanism, as well as people that take personal gratification in hurting themselves, typically do not publicize it. The vast majority of those who do, are experimenting, and/or wish to make their angst vocal. I have seen some Livejournal communities centered around cutting, and I think it's absolutely silly that people share methods of cutting and post pictures of their wounds. People that understand why they do, what they do, will realize that their situation is relatively unique, and have their own justification for it.
Everybody may get depressed from time to time, and everybody deals with it a certain way. Everybody also lusts for something from time to time - and likewise, everybody deals with it in their own way. It just happens that how we deal with it, is probably not in a manner you do. That certainly makes us uncommon, but far from unnatural.
<RJMC>
The Freeman
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I never cuted myself but I think how its feel
cuz I was very depresed before and hav a hate for my self,soo I think they cut cuz they want to punish themselfs for something, I am not a expert but I was very depresed before
and I understand the personalitie o the punk girl of Real Word:San Diego in fact parts of my personalitie are similiar to her personalitie
but well I am not a "expert" on this os cuting so I better shut up
and I see Seeky is the one whit the answer
here in my country I think people dont cut they self,well maybe not so much as USA
cuz I was very depresed before and hav a hate for my self,soo I think they cut cuz they want to punish themselfs for something, I am not a expert but I was very depresed before
and I understand the personalitie o the punk girl of Real Word:San Diego in fact parts of my personalitie are similiar to her personalitie
but well I am not a "expert" on this os cuting so I better shut up
and I see Seeky is the one whit the answer
here in my country I think people dont cut they self,well maybe not so much as USA
Mr-Fusion
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So you're trying to say it's a copout basically? Instead of dealing with the emotional stress they inflict injury to divert focus to the physical pain. Well it's a nice, simple solution isn't it. Though i don't cut myself when i'm depressed, sure i could take that easy way out to draw my mind away from the internal problems....but i find depression to be a very powerful mental state. You don't care about yourself or other people, you don't care about the past the future or anything. I find that irresistable feeling of loneliness and hopelessness necessary. Without the extreme lows how can you can possibly appreciate the extreme highs of existing? It's the balance of life and there's no way in hell i'd ruin the experience of depression by cutting myself and disrupting the process. But that's just my point of view based of my experience of living.
But If you are way out of balance, brain chemical imbalances that is, one would think medication would be a better alternative. Prolonged clinical depression lasting months probably shouldn't be dealth with through repeated self-injury. I view hurting yourself as a band-aid solution for a massive wound. My dad was depressed for many years but when he finally started taking medication it completely turned around. His behaviour and attitude towards everything changed for the better.
But If you are way out of balance, brain chemical imbalances that is, one would think medication would be a better alternative. Prolonged clinical depression lasting months probably shouldn't be dealth with through repeated self-injury. I view hurting yourself as a band-aid solution for a massive wound. My dad was depressed for many years but when he finally started taking medication it completely turned around. His behaviour and attitude towards everything changed for the better.
Maui
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Seeky brings some good insights to the table, but there's two thoughts I have:
* There's a fairly substantial difference between self-inflicted negative re-inforcement (pinching self when distracted from studying, restricting activites after failed a test or something) and self-mutilation. The formal is something that might be considered normal, at least in some circles. I wish no offense against anyone, but self-mutilation as a distraction or a pleasure is difficult to conceive (for me, obviously) as normal, no matter how many people do it.
* Even if it is a way to relieve stress, fight depression, etc. - surely there are better ways? Even staying away from medication, there are other methods to help cope. I suffered from clinical depression in my early high school years. Though my case was relatively mild, the doctors offered medication. Instead, I chose to forego them for support from friends/family, involving hobbies (like HL mapping, back in the day
), religious involvement, and sometimes brute-force mental discipline. Many times when you're in depression, you forget what you still have. I did find a trick that worked for me at least. When I was deep down, and thinking nothing but bad about everything, I always had one thought:
You're still able to think.
It sounds stupid initially, but it's able to give a great sense of...for lack of a better word, hope. Not the hope that shines from the sky or anything, but a sort of aggressive "You're not taking me down you sonuvabitch" thing that always got me back on my feet. You didn't really even need an enemy.
Now, I re-iterate that my case was deemed on the "upper end of mild" by doctors, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But ultimately, you're always in charge of your own mind and body. Remember that.
* There's a fairly substantial difference between self-inflicted negative re-inforcement (pinching self when distracted from studying, restricting activites after failed a test or something) and self-mutilation. The formal is something that might be considered normal, at least in some circles. I wish no offense against anyone, but self-mutilation as a distraction or a pleasure is difficult to conceive (for me, obviously) as normal, no matter how many people do it.
* Even if it is a way to relieve stress, fight depression, etc. - surely there are better ways? Even staying away from medication, there are other methods to help cope. I suffered from clinical depression in my early high school years. Though my case was relatively mild, the doctors offered medication. Instead, I chose to forego them for support from friends/family, involving hobbies (like HL mapping, back in the day
), religious involvement, and sometimes brute-force mental discipline. Many times when you're in depression, you forget what you still have. I did find a trick that worked for me at least. When I was deep down, and thinking nothing but bad about everything, I always had one thought:You're still able to think.
It sounds stupid initially, but it's able to give a great sense of...for lack of a better word, hope. Not the hope that shines from the sky or anything, but a sort of aggressive "You're not taking me down you sonuvabitch" thing that always got me back on my feet. You didn't really even need an enemy.
Now, I re-iterate that my case was deemed on the "upper end of mild" by doctors, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But ultimately, you're always in charge of your own mind and body. Remember that.
KoreBolteR
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whats the point of suicide, blows my mind how people can do this too themselves! they dont know how lucky too have the life they have..
Farrowlesparrow
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bliink said:
Its not so one sided as that. Music has a massive influence on us, but because its so subtle in the changes, we rarely notice it. In fact, there is so much that influences us and how we live. From music and televeision to our friends...even what we eat, how we sleep and how much exercise we get effects our mental state and how rich our lives are.
Z
Zerimski
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Maui said:
That's exactly the mindset which got me through a particularly difficult period of my life. And it's the mindset that I intend to stay in.
I used to cut myself occasionally. It's hard to explain why, it wasn't for attention and I don't remember feeling a particular need to express emotional pain physically. I was unhappy when I did it, and I just felt a need to do it. No-one knew about it for a while, but when I started getting really close to my ex-girlfriend and I found out that she had done it, I told her about it. She saw the scars and told me never to do it again. But something happened, something which knocked me completely off the rails, and I started doing it again. At this point, it was a long distance relationship so I didn't see her for a couple of weeks, until they'd healed and scarred up. She found the fresh scars and was incredibly upset. When I saw how much it hurt her, I gave her my word that I'd never do it again.
That was a few years ago now, and I'm still good friends with her. There are still times now when I'm unhappy and feel a slight urge, but I promised her, and I'm going to keep that promise if it's the last thing I do.
Sorry, bit of an uncharacteristic ramble.
NeverstilL
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people that cut themselves do it because they have gone through some serious shit and don't know how to express themselves or in other words deal with the pain. so they cut themselves.. it's not healthy but it's an outlet and temporarilly helps the pain. think of it as a distraction from emotional pain. they don't do it for attention. PEOPLE THAT CUT THEMSELVES AND SHOW IT OR BRAG ABOUT IT WANT ATTENTION! some people are just so used to being shit on by others the start to take it out on themselves. anyone who picks on or talks shit about someone in this catagory is a ****ing loser. odds are your one of the type of people who helped to contribute to thier mindstate. they are depressed from constantly being shit on and don't know how to cope. if you know someone like this try giving them some love. it might save thier life! sh*t aint a joke
oldagerocker
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What we all need is that sort of mindset, but some people just can't find it. I know i can't, the slightest knock against me in life, something someone says that hurts me, injustices against me and just general day to day stress can get me down. I have ccut myself in the past, and i was really depressed. I did it for attention, a cry for help, which never came and i stopped cutting. It didnt help me personally, but i know someone close who it does help and im thankful that she does cut, it's allot worse than what she could be doing. Although when i was with her i found it hard to accept the cutting and i felt helpless to stop her cutting herself, and it cut me up inside that someone i cared about so much did it, but she's alive and that's what matters.
NeverstilL
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i'm sure the reason you stopped cutting is either the things that made you want to cut went away or you found a way to cope> correct? and your right bout your friend....cutting is better than suicide but cutting is just the first step on the road to suicide unless something breaks the cycle
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