Dating a girl with kids?

[SpiderPig]

Just trying to get the general feeling towards this.

Its generally frowned upon in society.. why?

Isn't eveyone got a right to be happy? Surley if the guy and girl love each other thats all that matters?

I know in the real world people may say.. ooo the expense and drama that comes with it is not worth it.. especially if the ladies ex is an asshole.

 

[Hurricane]

I don't see anything wrong with it. as long as youre not a total **** to the kids.

 

[mchammer75040]

I would never date a girl with kids, eww. Kids are like parasites and if you have them young...say goodbye to your dreams and ambitions. Also there is a reason why the father isnt around

 

[Raziaar]

I'd recommend not dating the chick unless you're willing to spend time and enjoy her kids.

 

[MJ12]

Everyone knows if you are dating a woman with kids she is simply using you as a host for financial stability and nothing more.

 

[jet_porkins]

Everyone knows if you are dating a woman with kids she is simply a whore.

 

[MJ12]

I would never date a girl with kids, eww. Kids are like parasites and if you have them young...say goodbye to your dreams and ambitions. Also there is a reason why the father isnt around

Damn straight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRKI4MGDod4


Seriously though, I despise fathers who bale out on their kids and never visit them.
Know quite a few people in my life who have to deal with that.

 

[mchammer75040]

I'd recommend not dating the chick unless you're willing to spend money...

fixed

and enjoy her kids

D:

 

[Raziaar]

Seriously though, I despise fathers who bale out on their kids and never visit them. Know quite a few people in my life who have to deal with that.

 

[MJ12]

 

[Top Secret]

Does she have a hot teenage daughter? :naughty:

 

[swan_song1973]

i dont think its frowned upon, its just that you need to be extra careful.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

 

[Eejit]

Depends on how kids make you feel.

 

[Unfocused]

Why would that be frowned upon? Should a single woman with children not enter a relationship ever again?

 

[Raziaar]

fixed


D:

Well if you are going to be spending time with the chick, it won't be fair for her kids if you just ignore them. So my recommendation is stay the **** away if you don't want to do shit with her kids.

 

[Druckles]

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

in picturefilms the moms that the bachelors end up with are always p. cute, I assume real life is somewhat similar

 

[Mr Stabby]

I think it's insane to date a woman with children, but I'm 20, might have a different view when I'm older.

 

[Warped]

do you want drama?? cuz it sounds like your asking for it

 

[CR0M]

omg

If you actually believe any of what you said then you are obviously still a kid yourself and not mature enough to even consider moving into somebody else's family.

I think it's insane to date a woman with children, but I'm 20, might have a different view when I'm older.

You will, considering the older you get, the more likely it will be that dates will have kids. Not wanting to scare the shit out of any of you, but there is a point in time when the balance shifts and it's almost impossible to find childless women...

 

[Omnomnick]

If you're going to be dating a girl with kids, you'd better make sure you get on with the kids and act like their friend. Just like their dad would/should do. That way the kids will be more positive to their mum about you and should help convince her that you're a nice guy.

 

[gFrohman]

Speaking from a female perspective, I would encourage you boys to find a childless girl - if she got divorced (or never got married in the first place) and has children, she will first off be preoccupied with the children and less on everything else (including you! she won't have a choice - kids are a handful, esp. if they're babies). Secondly, some of you guys are right - you have to like her kids in order for things to work. Third, you have to ask why she's single/divorced/etc. (did she get knocked up by some random guy at a party? did the husband cheat on her?) because you could be dealing with an emotionally unstable woman. I know a few friends that are single moms, and it's a stressful & demanding life.

I'm not saying single moms are crazy, but children add an extra stressor to a relationship/life. Of course there are exceptions to this, and if you're patient and love kids, then by all means do what you want. I just know that if I had kids right now (I'm single and busy trying to finish my undergrad), I'd be stressed and an emotional mess.

 

[CyberPitz]

If you find an awesome girl, she'd find ways to spend time with you while the kid is with the father. At least, that's how I am

 

[gFrohman]

True as well - if the girl is awesome, the kids will normally be good as well and won't be a hassle so much.

 

[Warped]

I almost dated a soon to be divorced woman with kids and i thank god it didn't progress any further. in my circumstance she was unstable and apparently just about every guy/father in her life abused her. i didn't want any of that drama

 

[Hobostomp]

Isn't eveyone got a right to be happy?

Exactly - everyone has a right to be happy, which is why they choose not to date someone with kids.

I don't 'frown upon it', each to their own, but I doubt I would ever do it - I hate children.

 

[Yorick]

Also there is a reason why the father isnt around

I'd argue that that reason could be something like, you know, death. And also that just because the father isn't around doesn't mean that the mother/child are horrible people.

 

[Diesel_Power]

As long as your willing to accept that you'll always be #2 to her. Her kids will always come first.

Which is why I would rather date a childless woman. More time to focus on the relationship and each other and less on the kids.

 

[Letters]

I want my own kids not some other dude's kids!

 

[gFrohman]

As long as your willing to accept that you'll always be #2 to her. Her kids will always come first.

Which is why I would rather date a childless woman. More time to focus on the relationship and each other and less on the kids.

Not always - a decent, honest girl should be willing & able to focus on both - this is very difficult as I said before however, so it'll be possible but very stressful. You'd have to help her out.
If you're not ready for such an immediate responsibility, then don't accept it.

 

[Darkside55]

I don't see what's wrong with dating a girl who has kids. I'll admit that my opinion's biased because had my (step)dad not shied away from dating my mom because of seven-year-old me, I would've missed out on having an awesome dad.

I think it really comes down to where you are in your life as well. If you're not ready for kids, then don't date a girl who has kids. Don't think that you can get off just being with her and not including that child; it's going to be a package deal, period, and you'd be callous and selfish to assume otherwise. So if you're going to date a girl who has kids, be prepared to interact with them, and if the relationship progresses into the long term you should be willing to raise them like your own.

Given that the population of this forum is mostly young males in their teens and early twenties, I'd doubt that most of you are in a position in your lives where you're ready for that kind of potential commitment.

As long as your willing to accept that you'll always be #2 to her. Her kids will always come first.

As it should be. Kids should always be first priority when you're a parent.

a decent, honest girl should be willing & able to focus on both

You probably didn't mean it that way, but the way this is written makes it sound as if you're of the opinion that if a woman's focus is more on her children than on her significant other she isn't decent or honest. It's the way its phrased. I hope that isn't what you actually meant.

 

[Kadayi]

If you don't have the stones to date a girl who already has kids, simply because you can't handle not being #1 in someone elses life then you need to grow up tbh.

Plain truth of the matter is the older you get, the greater the odds will increase that the only 'available' women you meet will have children from a prior relationship and/or be divorced, so get used to the idea.

 

[Jintor]

Also there is a reason why the father isnt around

Cos he died in a freak train accident, duh

 

[nurizeko]

Just trying to get the general feeling towards this.

Its generally frowned upon in society.. why?

Isn't eveyone got a right to be happy? Surley if the guy and girl love each other thats all that matters?

I know in the real world people may say.. ooo the expense and drama that comes with it is not worth it.. especially if the ladies ex is an asshole.

Its not frowned upon, its just incredibly stupid to most guys because they either don't want to take on someone else's kids and deal with that hassle of ex-husband/boyfriendness and the kids inability to like you and accept you, since your just another guy passing through, or they don't wanna deal with kids at all.



Its not frowned upon, its just taking on more shit then you really should when your just looking for someone to date and shit.




So yeah, its stupid.

 

[CyberPitz]

Its not frowned upon, its just incredibly stupid to most guys because they either don't want to take on someone else's kids and deal with that hassle of ex-husband/boyfriendness and the kids inability to like you and accept you, since your just another guy passing through, or they don't wanna deal with kids at all.



Its not frowned upon, its just taking on more shit then you really should when your just looking for someone to date and shit.




So yeah, its stupid.

Yeah, there is no way you could intelligently date a girl with a kid because you have feelings for her. Heck, you should never have feelings for them, that kid just ruins it all.

Sometimes, I hate idiots with these types of thoughts.

 

[Danimal]

Instead, Pitz goes for the kidz.

 

[kepler]

I have never heard anyone say any of this crap unless they were still in high school, and usually not even then. Then only trick with this scenario is that you and the kids can get attached to each other. If it doesn't work out with Mom, the breakup has a little more pain in it when you and the kids have to let go, too.

On a post like this, age and relationship history should be required from all posters, including the topic starter. You want to know who you are soliciting advice from. A 23 year old might not want advice from a 15 year old or a 35 year old.

 

[Danimal]

It's not like anyone here could get dates to begin with, kepler, don't be silly. ;P

 

[gFrohman]

You probably didn't mean it that way, but the way this is written makes it sound as if you're of the opinion that if a woman's focus is more on her children than on her significant other she isn't decent or honest. It's the way its phrased. I hope that isn't what you actually meant.

No, it's not what I meant. It's not a b&w situation at all. My point is that someone decent would be willing to make time for a new boyfriend along with taking care of the kids - of course the kids would most likely take priority (that's how I would do things if I were a single mom).