Does your Penis measure up?

[The Monkey]

Those special women are called prostitutes.

I don't think their customers tend to have very large penises. If they had, why would they need prostitutes? According to that shart, every girl would want them.

 

[Krynn72]

You don't even need a penis to make a woman scream in the bedroom.

You just need a ****ing big spider.

But a spider on your penis will make her scream even louder.

 

[Phobie]

Also known as whores or hos.

I love how if... Say a woman knows a man for a few months, they date etc, get close, then sleep together, and she finds out he's got an eight inch penis, she's automatically a prostitute (also known as whores or hos apparently). If you actually think this, how did you work it out?

Or if a woman went out and slept with someone after one date (something I don't give a shit about, I wouldn't consider her a whore for doing this) and finds out he has an eight inch penis (we're not even talking RIDICULOUS sizes here), is she a prostitute too?

 

[Insano]

Don't think about it. They're hos. That's it.

 

[Stigmata]

Don't think about it.

Seems to be your mantra.

 

[Eejit]

You guys never met any Uni/College girls?
Lots of slappers among them.

 

[Darkside55]

 

[The Monkey]

You guys never met any Uni/College girls?
Lots of slappers among them.

Noun 1. slapper - a hitter who slaps (usually another person) with an open hand

D:

 

[Darkside55]

Those are the kind of women I'm into.

 

[Pesmerga]

Aww, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Baal]

Noun 1. slapper - a hitter who slaps (usually another person) with an open hand

D:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slapper

Learn to urban dictionary!

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Noun 1. slapper - a hitter who slaps (usually another person) with an open hand

D:

Failure.

 

[The Monkey]

Failure.

That's not what you said last night in bed.

 

[Pi Mu Rho]

That's not what you said last night in bed.

"complete and utter abject failure"?

 

[The Monkey]

ab-ject (bjkt, b-jkt)
adj.
1. Brought low in condition or status. See Synonyms at mean2.
2. Being of the most contemptible kind: abject cowardice.
3. Being of the most miserable kind; wretched: abject poverty.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

That's not what you said last night in bed.

Your mom swore she wouldn't tell you!

 

[The Monkey]

Your mom swore she wouldn't tell you!

Nah, she told your mom and she told me as I was leaving your place this morning.

 

[Ennui]

Leave it to penises to spawn a 13-pages-and-still-going-strong thread on a forum almost exclusively male :upstare:

 

[Vegeta897]

Toaster and Phobie were definitely key elements though, Ennui.

 

[Phobie]

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

He is lying.

 

[el Chi]

For pity's sake, does the phrase "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" mean nothing anymore?

I think the women who gave answers to this must have buckets.

I actually recoiled upon reading this. Nevertheless, you may well have a point.

 

[Darkside55]

For pity's sake, does the phrase "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" mean nothing anymore?

Pfft, that's just something the genitally small tell themselves so they feel better.







It's not the size of the boat, it's not the size of the boat, it's not the size of the boat...

 

[Eejit]

...it's the size of the ocean?

 

[Hazar]

Leave it to penises to spawn a 13-pages-and-still-going-strong thread on a forum almost exclusively male :upstare:

history repeats itself of course

 

[Vegeta897]

OK our objective is clear, we must reach 14 pages and then have Bliink (come back from the dead and) lock it.

It has to be a female moderator or all significance will be lost.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

It has to be a female moderator or all significance will be lost.

A perfect opportunity for Samon to get that operation he's been wanting for so long!

 

[Unfocused]

Leave it to penises to spawn a 13-pages-and-still-going-strong thread on a forum almost exclusively male :upstare:

At least there's something going on

Coming up next: "How long do you wank?".

 

[Vegeta897]

Oh that's a good one.

 

[Darkside55]

I would so be about that thread.

 

[taviow]

For pity's sake, does the phrase "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" mean nothing anymore?

Agreed. The size doesn't matter, what really matter is it's

POWER

and the

DESTRUCTION

it causes.

 

[Pesmerga]

What makes me unique? My social security number. My DNA. My fingerprint. My license. My ability to inflate my stomache into a nice round preggers belly one moment and deflate it into a six pack the other. My name is Samuel Ferrell and I'm the son of Andrew Ferrell and Teresa Rump. I have a lot of qualities that make me a lot like most other people; I get hungry, sleep, pee, get angry, get stupid, get hurt. I'm human, I require oxygen, I require water, I require alcohol. I use the word 'I' a lot. Like most people.
I bet everyone in this class wondered how they could write about how they were individually special without sounding too arrogant. Or they knew they were going to sound arrogant so might as well sound confident in the meantime. Heck I bet we'll listen to someone go on and on about how they're the greatest thing since sliced bread with a kind of pompous attitude that begets a slapping in the face. People will write about how they take care of puppies or fly planes, and that's fine. But unique? I think what counts is that you're relatively interesting. Out of a handful of 1,000 that you can be remembered by name by at least one. That when the class is over and everyone's done their speech, at least one person will still be thinking about yours.
So how am I unique... I'm relatively interesting. I may not be saving lives or winning races, but I know how to have a good time. I love neat words like shiny. I drink a lot. Of water. I can bench 20 pounds more than I weigh. I can do many pullups. I always have a crush on a girl, always. I'm recently heartbroken like most people my age (I'm 18). I've never smoked a cigarette or done any drug (but I'm willing to experiment), never fired a firearm, never ran a marathon nor jumped off a building on purpose. I've fish tailed going 100mph on a highway, barrel rolled into the median, and watched my Ford Taurus burn to dust and laughing about it the same day. I also learned how to avoid that kind of thing in the future. I also don't drive too terribly fast with someone else in the car.
My family is pretty generic. Divorce, back and forth between parents, etc. Don't really think my case is anything to be boo hooing about and if it were, I don't really think it's cool to brag about pain. I've got four brothers and one sister, all who are crazy awesome people.
So what makes me unique? Me and my friends are pretty damn awesome people to party with. So call me.

 

[Narvi]

Why would prostitutes cater especially to men with eight inch penises? Penes. Penii.

No, no, see, they have more experience for quality checking. See? :bonce:

 

[Pesmerga]

Yeah but whores don't care about your dick they care about your wallet.

 

[Raziaar]

What's that bulge? Is that your penis or are you just happy to pay me?

 

[Dan]

I hit the B's so I don't need to read the rest of this thread

 

[Vegeta897]

On the contrary. Take the first letter of every post in this thread and you will have the secret to bumping that up to an A.

 

[Druckles]

history repeats itself of course

:O

In before Circumsised Jewish posters!