Ever have one of those days?

[15357]

Well, what's a typical day of yours like?

Wake up.



Study.



Sleep.


variables may include items such as hl2.net, starcraft, etc.

 

[evil^milk]

It's even less logical than that. I can't even really pinpoint exactly why, and I wish I could.

I just find myself saying, "Okay, let's play a game." And so I start up a game, for example recently I have started up with Crysis. I find myself admiring how beautiful it is, even if a bit sluggish on my computer with no noticable difference in framerate from low to high settings. Ten minutes in, I find myself unable to continue and I quit.

It's not because I'm bored. Or because I have something better to do. I quit the game and end up sort of mindlessly surfing the internet, which is almost one of the only things I can really stick to reliably, for whatever reason. It's like second nature to me.

Same goes with other games. Mass Effect which we bought when it came out. Played it briefly, haven't touched it since. Not because I was bored or didn't like it. Same with episode 1 and episode 2, which I bought as well. Team Fortress 2? God I love that game. When I played it, it was the only game I played and I played it religiously for a good long while. Previous to that, I was in the same funk I am now. It was one of those games that brought me out and I just played it as if nothing was wrong and for some reason I didn't let it go.

I did let it go though. I haven't logged into Team Fortress 2 for... <checks steam> Well actually it doesn't tell me. But it has been weeks and weeks and weeks. My steam play time reveals I have 0 play hours in the last 2 weeks on all games. Heh.

I really do need to start up with TF2 again, I just can't bring myself to. It's not because I don't want to, it's that mental block preventing me from doing it... or even if I do it, I stop for no logical reason.

It's entirely frustrating and a seemingly endless cycle that I blame my undiagnosed depression on.

Could it be maybe you've been playing games on and off for too long, and that's most of what you've been doing? Maybe you need to change your activities once in a while?

And how do you feel as you do these things? Happy, sad, sappy, numb/automized, stupid, etc.

 

[evil^milk]

Wake up.



Study.



Sleep.


variables may include items such as hl2.net, starcraft, etc.

What do you study, do you like it at all?

 

[CrazyHarij]

ifg bitches!

 

[Pesmerga]

What do you study, do you like it at all?

What is this, ask the commie hater what he does with his spare time?

 

[evil^milk]

Don't know what you mean there, but if studying takes a 3rd of his day, it might as well be something he enjoys?

 

[Pesmerga]

Sounded like you were probing a foreign specimen for information of its daily life cycle.

"What do you study? Commie hating 101? The Far Right and How it Won the War?"

 

[SimonomiS]

I get that, actually I thought I was getting a bit agoraphobic. I missed 2 weeks of uni. I'd get up, get ready, put on my coat and hat and scarf...get to the front door and just...break down. It was really odd.

I'm alright now though, alcohol fixes an awful lot. Also exercise.

Snap. Although I put it down more to being anti-social or having anxiety problems than agoraphobia. The worst part was the whole getting ready and not going, because then you're frustrated at yourself for bothering to get dressed.

Then there's attempting to explain it to other people when they ask. I've been ill with extremely vague and general things a lot lately.

True enough, alcohol does solve it all. Exercise, eh, I'll take your word on that.

Also, title made me think of Limp Bizkit. For shame. It's just one of those days where you don't wanna wake up, everything is ****ed, everybody ssssucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify, ripping someone's head off. Get out of my head Durst!

 

[ericms]

For the last year or so, every day I've been waking up in a worse and worse mood. It's as if the colours of the world are slowly desaturating, and a day is merely there as a stopgap until a hypothetical tomorrow.

-Angry Lawyer

Oh, that's just me. I'll stop now. Sorry you don't like my taste.. we're not all interior designers. Well not everyone, but I am.

 

[Krynn72]

Get out of my head Durst!

Muahahha everything is going according to plan.

 

[Dynasty]

Lose the syringes, there are better ways.

Nah, but i know how you feel. 'Its just one of those days'

 

[Narcolepsy]

Neither would I. Not too long ago there were dark consequences.



I've got to say I disagree. It's not chemistry at all, it's attitude.

There are days when I have felt depressed for no reason, but I do all I can to make the most of it. Since inspiration has yet to come to me when I am sad, I do something useful/practical. Like order my room or something (which is usually messed up). Or hell, if I can't be happy then I make those around me happy. Wash the dishes for your mother or something kind. It'll bring happiness you can't explain.

Sometimes I have my bitch fits just because I feel like it. But that's it - I take it out, and never store it, it's unhealthy and bad.



Here's a way you probably haven't seen in a while. Who wakes up every day? Who chooses to brush your teeth/take a shower? Who chooses your choices of foods? Who chooses how you spend your money and on what? Who chooses your college major? Who chooses what you read, where to go, who to talk to, etc.?

Let's say I brush my teeth, but don't take a shower. I wanna hit on this girl so bad, my life seems monotonous, she seems different. But first I gotta eat a big mac, oh yeah those sure make me feel good. God-damn college though. I knew I should've never gone into Business and Adminstration. Bah, tonight's party should make up for it. Beer + girls = can't go wrong. And my friend Joe, he'll hook my up with some sweet shit tonight.

See what I did thar? Hypothetical guy can't control his mood or emotions because he is depressed, has low self-esteem, and is addicted to something that temporarily makes him happy. He's lost it and there's no solution - because he lost all sense of control. There are reasons why some people can't control their emotions. Not having control combined with subtle failure is one that many don't seem to realize.

And on controlling habits, it is difficult to stop them. Especially if you drink to stop being angry, or shit like that. What to do? Take it gradually, drink slowly and slowly less and less, at the pace that is right for you.

I think you missed the point a little. I know attitude can change the outcome of a situation or mood. But the mood remains. You can't attitude yourself out of depression.

What you're describing was exactly my point about habits. You definitely can break most habits - but you have to overcome almost insurmountable impulses. Similarly, you can force yourself to chin up in periods of depression - but it's not as simple as picking your chin up and going on about your business.

And by the way, attitude is also chemistry.

 

[evil^milk]

I think you missed the point a little. I know attitude can change the outcome of a situation or mood. But the mood remains. You can't attitude yourself out of depression.

What you're describing was exactly my point about habits. You definitely can break most habits - but you have to overcome almost insurmountable impulses. Similarly, you can force yourself to chin up in periods of depression - but it's not as simple as picking your chin up and going on about your business.

And by the way, attitude is also chemistry.

I understand what you mean, in which case it's better to consult a pro.

And by the way, hl2.net is a part of your imagination.

=o

 

[Punzz]

Very rarely do i wake up feeling like that at all. I blame the UK weather, it makes us depressed all year round

 

[Jintor]

I've had it a couple of times, but these days the feeling evaporates when I stagger out of my door.

 

[15357]

What do you study, do you like it at all?

Well, I like modern history, but I hate mathematics (which is actually my main study subject and takes most of my time). I also study language and other various school subjects. I used to love it. Even maths. But now it got too repeating, too boring, and without progress and no measuable distance to the end. I became hopeless, after one failure after another, and then finally I don't even care what the date is anymore.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

All feelings of goodness die a violent bloody bum-raping death the second I sit down on the toilet in the mornings.

 

[15357]

All feelings of goodness die a violent bloody bum-raping death the second I sit down on the toilet in the mornings.

This post is a very fine example of how/why I keep going on my daily life.




I <3 you HL2.net!

 

[Jintor]

You stay alive thanks to Willie's posts? You, good sir, are borderline psychotic.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

I'm more in a 'meh' mood. Random greatness would rule. It's happened before!

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You stay alive thanks to Willie's posts? You, good sir, are borderline psychotic.

And they said my methods were inexcusably worthless and crazy! The kittens monkehs of my pants shall be pleased to hear the news...

 

[15357]

You stay alive thanks to Willie's posts? You, good sir, are borderline psychotic.

Nah, Hl2.net in general.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Now that's just crazy talk.

 

[NeptuneUK]

Today I woke up.... which is weird because I usually sleep in til about 3-4pm regardless of what I'm supposed to be doing.

A celebration is in order.

In response to OP, yeah I get those days and they rule!

 

[soulslicer]

I only get those days after exams. I hate Singapore for this reason, being a student in Singapore, everyday is a pain until the exams are over..

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

I guess at the moment I relate more with Raziaar, I've not had a moment like Krynn's in quite some time. I suppose I could start taking medications for my depression again and start seeing the therapist more often, but I hate having to rely on those things to be happy and healthy. It's not that my life is particularly bad as of late, but when I get home after the day and spend a few hours alone in my room I just start to get taken over my feelings of overwhelming negativity.

 

[15357]

I only get those days after exams. I hate Singapore for this reason, being a student in Singapore, everyday is a pain until the exams are over..

Being a student in Korea, everyday is complete hell, even after the tests. Only the day of the National College Entrance Examination (such a important day that they even stop traffic and airplanes for this event) you will be freed. At least if you get in the top 4%.

 

[Slug Advisor]

The weather was nice today, the people around me were happy... And yet, I stayed depressed. Even right now, you HL2.net, are failing to amuse me.

Seriously, as of late, I've been extremely depressed. So far, I was able to get up in the morning and do whatever I'm suppose to, but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up. I mean, today started OK, but when I was hanging out with a girl I like alot and hate myself for liking, a guy who annoys the hell out of me, that ****ing douchebag who unfortunetly is the only person I know who is as much into video games and the Internet as me, a girl who appears to be hitting on me and the only sane person on our little group of six who, by the way, seems attracted to that second girl. Yeah, I get angsty alot.

 

[Druckles]

OP: No.