Fat zombified queers will conquer the earth

[Tollbooth Willie]

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/12/pentagon-zombie-pigs-first-then-hibernating-gis/#more-20200

FYI Eejit sucks dick for coke.

Around half of U.S. troop fatalities are caused by blood loss from battlefield injuries. Now, with another 30,000 troops deploying to Afghanistan, the Pentagon is pushing for medical advances that can save more lives during combat. The Defense Department’s latest research idea: Stop bleeding injuries by turning pigs into the semi-undead. If it works out, we humans could be the next ones to be zombified.

Military’s mad-science arm Darpa has awarded $9.9 million to the Texas A&M Institute for Preclinical Studies (TIPS), to develop treatments that can extend a “golden period” when injured war fighters have the best chance of coming back from massive blood loss. Odds of survival plummet after an hour — during combat, that kind of quick evacuation, triage and treatment is often impossible.

The institute’s research will be based on previous Darpa-funded efforts. One project, at Stanford University, hypothesized that humans could one day mimic the hibernation abilities of squirrels — who emerge from winter months no worse for wear — using a pancreatic enzyme we have in common with the critters. The other, led by Dr. Mark Roth at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, used nematode worms and rats to test how hydrogen sulfide could block the body’s ability to use oxygen — creating a kind of “suspended animation” where hearts stop beating and wounds don’t bleed. After removing 60 percent of the rat’s blood, Dr. Roth managed to keep the critters alive for 10 hours using his hydrogen sulfide cocktail.

The next logical step: Try the same thing on pigs. They’ve got a similar cardiovascular system to humans, and TIPS researchers Theresa Fossum and Matthew Miller think they can accurately predict human results from the swine trials. Using anesthetized pigs, the doctors are testing various compounds, some containing hydrogen sulfide, to find one that can safely keep the hemorrhaging animals “as close to death as possible.”

With a 15-person team working exclusively on the project, the institute anticipates successful results within 18 months. “Darpa wants this to happen yesterday, because it was needed yesterday,” Dr. Miller told Danger Room. Once the team comes up with the right elixir, it’ll undergo federally mandated safety testing. After that, the zombie vaccine will be sent to the battlefield for human application.

Dr. Fossum predicts that each soldier will carry a syringe into combat zones or remote areas, and medic teams will be equipped with several. A single injection will minimize metabolic needs, de-animating injured troops by shutting down brain and heart function. Once treatment can be carried out, they’ll be “re-animated” and — hopefully — as good as new.

From rats, to pigs, to troops — to civilians. Dr. Miller anticipates dozens of medical applications, including the preservation of organs before transplants and suspension of life-threatening emergencies, like heart attacks and strokes. “Everybody’s talking about the military use of this, and that’s our focus now,” he says. “But really, this could be much, much bigger than that.”

 

[DEATHMASTER]

We need that biofoam from Halo.

 

[Warped]

pretty cool tech. imagine finding out the man you killed 6 months ago is tailing your ass on the highway driving 95mph ready to kill you for the 3rd time!

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

This is actually amazing and awesome! Darpa is consistently up to some out there and awesome shit.

 

[Dog--]

/me waits for PETA to step in and halt this amazing medical advance.

 

[VirusType2]

Respawn in 60

 

[YROC]

Everyone is going to taste like bacon now.

 

[Green Floyd]

Hmm, not sure I trust the illuminati on making a freaking zombie injectoin.

Here's DARPA's logo for anybody who knows what I'm on about.

 

[PvtRyan]

I'll begin the countdown until this drug is used recreationally.

"Fuck yeah bro, I was so dead this weekend, WOOOO!!"

 

[Robbo]

Really wouldn't want to be the first person to try that out.

Would be a cool way to shut the kids up though.... "I'm going to kill you now *inject*"

 

[flamingdts]

Finally, zombie apocalypse.

I mean when shit goes down we REALLY didn't see it coming.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

The "zombified" state would be very temporary and likely not have the patient conscious, it would also be intensely uncomfortable and stupid to use recreationally. It's getting late and I'm taking everyone's posts literally, someone shut me up.

 

[Green Floyd]

The "zombified" state would be very temporary and likely not have the patient conscious, it would also be intensely uncomfortable and stupid to use recreationally. It's getting late and I'm taking everyone's posts literally, someone shut me up.

LSD's a hell of a drug.

 

[Nuada]

Christ we're over populated as it is...

 

[15357]

Christ we're over populated as it is...

I'm going to assume that you live in the US.

*cough*

What the ****? So because you're [sic] "overpopulated" you don't think battlefield casulties need saving? Do you want your patriots to die in some god-forsaken foreign field so that they don't come back and clutter your Lebensraum where you are so overpopulated that you all live in single story suburban districts, whereas people like me have the entire country cluttered with 30 story apartment complexes? But you don't see us complain about "overpopulation". Actually we need twice as more population. You on the other hand, have entire goddamn deserts and meadows and mountains where you can't find a single living soul for hundreds of kilometers away. You have entire National Parks which are as big as my own country, and you talk about "overpopulation"? And wait, Jesus ****ing H. Christ YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO GOT RIPPED TO SHREDS FOR YOU AND YOUR COUNTRY AND THE DAMN ****ING FREE WORLD. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SO OVERPOPULATED ENOUGH TO FORSAKE THOSE PEOPLE WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND KILL A FEW OF YOUR NEIGHBORS? HUH? THAT'LL HELP WITH YOUR POPULATION PROBLEM.


If you are not American, I apologize.



Excuse me.

 

[Nuada]

Never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me

And yes the planet is over populated. There just isn't the resources to support the continued growth of humanity. Do you want to go and live in a desert? You'll have hundreds of square miles to yourself. You might find it hard to find food and water never mind everything else you've become accustomed to but hey, you'll have room to stretch youtr legs. And '****ing Free World'? Jesus Christ man that's horse shit. It means nothing. It's just an empty phrase designed to stir the blood of the simple. Seems to work for you...

 

[Krynn72]

Most of these people will probably want to die. Loss of that much blood means loss of major chunks of your body. I forsee a lot of torso zombies, and thats about it.

Also, when this gets weaponized...

Also also, these zombie will be lame, because they won't have any brain function at all, not just lower brain function. Zombies need to have some intelligence to be able to shamble. These zombies will just lay there while you bludgeon them.

 

[Wanted Bob]

Wow thats some damn cool technology. Not only could it be used on the battlefield, but during medical emergencies in remote areas of the world.

Also Nuada, this advance is essentially improving our medical techniques more than anything. Should we be halting some other medical care because our planet is "overpopulated as it is"?

 

[15357]

Never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me

Indeed it does. Sorry for the outburst.

And yes the planet is over populated.

Only in some areas. We just need to relocate parts of the population.

There just isn't the resources to support the continued growth of humanity.

Then people will die, and we'll be able to balance this out.

Do you want to go and live in a desert? You'll have hundreds of square miles to yourself. You might find it hard to find food and water never mind everything else you've become accustomed to but hey, you'll have room to stretch youtr legs.

With technology as it is, we can transform, or at least make habitable every place on Earth save for the most forsaken piece of badland there is.

And '****ing Free World'? Jesus Christ man that's horse shit. It means nothing. It's just an empty phrase designed to stir the blood of the simple. Seems to work for you...

Well, unlike some of you heathens, I believe in the principles of Man and his ethical thinking, and that there is something out there that is worth giving your life up, like freedom democracy and all the other bullshit that makes people feel good and vote for you.

Here's a post I made a few months ago.

For ****s sakes, some of you need to ****ing realize that there exists something that is far more important than any one of your (or mine) miserable lives.



It has been my belief that impiety (to one's parents) is the worst of all sins as taught by my ancestors, but I also have that belief that it is pardonable, and acceptable in the line of one's duty. A duty to your goddamn nation, a duty to the sacred State, a duty to the land that brought you into this world. A duty to humanity, and the common ideals that we believe in, the ideals which are fundamental to humanity, freedom, justice, and equality.

Thos are the goddamned things that are important, and I can only hope that I am granted the courage by my creator (although an asshole he might be) to willingly give my life for those things that I believe in.




So, in all, you really need to get your damnned priorities straight.

There, I said it. I don't really believe in that. Not anymore at least. I simply use words like "Freedom" and "Democracy" because they sound good and appeal to people's irrational nature that somehow believes that it is a good thing.

In the end, it's just my country. Everything else is negligible.


EDIT: I should be nicer to people. I guess it's just the Starcraft deprivation BECAUSE WINDOWS ****ING 7 DOESN'T SUPPORT IT AGRGahgdkflgsa// (it's fixed now though, courtesy of Captain M4d)

 

[Nuada]

Why the hell not Wanted Bob? I mean the religious have done it with stem cell research for years. All those diseases and conditions that could be treated or cured let run rampant and the sick let die becsuse of their pathetic superstitions. People are too bloody eager to go to war already without taking the risk of death out of it too.

 

[Nuada]

Only in some areas. We just need to relocate parts of the population.

Seriously, **** you!

 

[Wanted Bob]

And in what universe does "religious people do it too" justify halting this sort of research. Also, the world is beginning to open up to stem cell research, so thats wrong anyways.

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2009/03/09/obama-stem-cells.html

http://stemcells.nih.gov/research/intlresearch.asp

 

[15357]

Seriously, **** you!

Don't worry, I won't move you to Nevada.






How does Congo sound?

 

[Eejit]

I'm off coke, onto crystal meth. If you've got some, me sucky sucky long time.

As for the article I'm not sure that 'hydrogen sulphide cocktail' will be able to pass safety testing. H2S is really quite toxic.

 

[Raziaar]

Most of these people will probably want to die. Loss of that much blood means loss of major chunks of your body. I forsee a lot of torso zombies, and thats about it.

Also, when this gets weaponized...

Also also, these zombie will be lame, because they won't have any brain function at all, not just lower brain function. Zombies need to have some intelligence to be able to shamble. These zombies will just lay there while you bludgeon them.

It's a single important step in a long process Krynn! Have FAITH! We will have WALKING brainless zombies who can extract themselves from the battlefield in due time!

 

[nurizeko]

Fools, you all know that your going to kill each other and what remains will come crawling back to Europe begging for colonialism.

 

[DEATH eVADER]

I read about this 5 years ago I think in new scientist

 

[jverne]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....i haven't yet stockpiled enough shotgun ammo, for this to happen so soon!!!