Favorite Uncyclopedia Articles

[Tollbooth Willie]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Dave_Grohl

Dave Grohl is a musician, often shunned by fans of Nirvana for pursuing a career in music after Seattle wanker, Kurt Cobain, decided to "Bite the Bullet" and retire.
Wilde is right. Dave Grohl is everywhere: in your neighborhood, in your house, maybe even in your room. Ever felt that weird tingling sensation in your spine? That's Dave...or possibly the Boogeyman. He has at least 17 roles in every music video. Roles that were once considered physically impossible for humans to play (for example, Dave has been known to play skyscrapers, aeroplanes, grass, Simon Cowell's eyelashes and the Sun). He even cuts off his fingers to turn into breakfast cereal, Grohlios. Buy it from that shady guy on the street corner while stocks last! Dave Grohl has been scientifically proven to be 90% teeth, and few people have actually seen the rest of his face as a result. This is evident in many of his promotional videos, which show his teeth in a 1:1 ratio - and they still don't fit on the screen. His fine tusks have required him to employ round the clock security guards in an attempt to ward off Ivory dealers. Grohl's screams are said to break glass and the planet Venus.

I always knew he was awesome but God damn. Now get posting bitches.

 

[Cormeh]

"Dave Grohl, asleep"

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Aberdeen

Aberdeen is the home of the sport Sheep Shaggin', an extremely fun, furry version of tiddly winks. The only difference lies in the lack of tiddly and presence of Aberdonians pumping their best ewe rotten. Due to a shortage of suitable sheep, this year's Sheep Shaggin' has been cancelled in favour of knife fighting, chibbin' and heroin addiction, with experts on hand from Glasgow to provide direction. Throughout the month of August, seminars will be held by Tommy Sheridan, Neil Lennon and Fernando Ricksen. Those interested should assemble outside their local at closing time. Beastiality is generally frowned upon by a minority of residents (mainly Dutch oil workers), although Aberdeen-Angus are always there for those wishing a bigger challenge

 

[The Monkey]

The North Korea article is pretty good.

 

[lePobz]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Huddersfield

Hahaha! It's funny because it's true!

 

[Geogaddi]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Nine_inch_nails

1993/1994 - Trent forgets to turn off his teakettle while recording "Hurt".

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Rofl.

Follow up to Geo's. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Trent_Reznor

I am absolutely ****iИg tired of the giaИt, ****iИg, backwards Иs. Yes... Look: И... It's the right ****iИg way round. Tough shit. Learn to ****iИg live with it. ИoИ-existent-Jesus but you people **** me off! I'm moviИg oИ iИ MY ****iИg life and if you dislike that or my new album well **** you, you ****iИg cocksucker. I'm moviИg away from beiИg ****iИg aИgsty, okay?! Иo longer am I goiИg to be a preteИtious ego-ceИtric bitch, oh you'll see... you'll ****iИg see... I'll make you see! You'll see or I'll cut myself! I'll ****iИg cut myself...

~ Reznor on the use of giant backwards Иs (as it's "so ****iИg ИiИeties") and his new album, Year Zer0

 

[Geogaddi]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Half_Life_2.net

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You magnificent bastard.

 

[The Monkey]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Half_Life_2.net

You included that in your last post, but then edited it out and posted in in a new message instead.

GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[-Psy-]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Dream_Theater

2003 Octavarium Dream Theater's most religious effort to date, about an octopus who becomes circumcised in the vein of Jesus Christ.

Hahaha. This site is epic.

 

[Danimal]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Oprah

 

[jimbo118]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Counter_Strike

 

[CptStern]

Goa Tse (Pinyin: Goatze, Wade Giles: Koa Ze) was a Taoist monk in the line of Chuang Tse (Tzu), active in the Chinese province of Yughease around 455 BC. Famous for writing an early I Ching lecture book, Goa Tse was to become a key figure within Chinese philosophical thinking, and although many of the tales surrounding him are more mythological than historical, a number of facts about his life have survived


Famous Goa Tse Quotes

* The wider the Gate, the closer to Paradise
* Just like the Sage who opens to the higher, Goa Tse opens his lower
* The foundation for enlightenment is to ensure a good grounding
* The foolish man remains closed and tight, the wise man stretches himself in every way
* In the center, there is void
* Enlightenment cannot be attained until the fourth eye is wide open
* Small person, large receptacle

 

[CyberPitz]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Half_Life_2.net

Thank god for showing the link on the status bar.

 

[Stigmata]

Orange Construction Barrels

This was the first one I ever read, and it made me lol heartily.

 

[Beerdude26]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Counter_Strike

It is considered an extremely flamboyant gun by most people due to the fact it is created using honey and pansies. Players have been known to suddenly die when faced with the end of an AK-47, but scientists have not discovered why, but the leading theory is that the AK-47 fires a stream of badgers - causing extreme death.

LOL

EDIT: In Chuck Norris' article:

Why humpback whales are endangered

Epic epic win

 

[poo poo head]

lol, i love uncyclopedia.

AAAA!

 

[Cole]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Starcraft
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Emos

 

[Stigmata]

Here's one I wrote about two years ago.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Crushing_the_Hell_out_of_it

 

[Baratos]

Stalin

 

[bam23]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_that_don't_exist,_but_should

Takes the cake