First Time?

[Mr.Reak]

How I lost my virginity you ask?

Well, it was very lonely and cold night, like always. I was sitting in front of the computer, like always. I was watching that show, where guy always finds some sexy girl, with very big breasts, and they immediately go to have hot sex. So I got determined, because if it’s on Internet, it must be true! I went out, only in my underwear, running from one lamppost to another. I was hunting me some girls. That’s when I saw her, the most beautiful thing on earth, a crippled hobo-woman, sitting next to the dumpster, talking to herself. I couldn’t control myself, so I jumped on her without my underwear and started humping her crippled leg. We had super hot sexy after that, until she chocked on my semen and I was forced to eat her body, one being hungry, two hiding evidence. Since then, I like my girlfriend cold and meaty… Was it pleasant? Not really, my penis didn’t like her vagina that much, and the week after, it was covered in small red dots, and shot blood when I tried to piss. Was it romantic? Yes, ****ing cripple near the dumpster is the best feeling there is to life.

 

[CptStern]

Feath. In my case, she said she was on the pill.. I hope to **** she was

little badgers running around ...how cute

 

[adulus]

I think you guys are scarring me...im not sure i ever want to lose my virginity now.... :x

 

[Recoil]

we're talking about the first time we beat up our sisters right....

Is 'beat up' another english term for f**k?

* Recoil runs for cover

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Well yes...depending on what meaning you give to that particular f word.

 

[Mr.Reak]

Anyway, is this thread about raising your e-penis size?

OMFG LOL I HAD SEX, COME ON GUYS! ROFL!

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I'm surprised people haven't been saying things like "I had secks before you...I've been having it since I was born" (Which would obviously raise a whole host of awkwards questions)

 

[PvtRyan]

Anyway, is this thread about raising your e-penis size?

OMFG LOL I HAD SEX, COME ON GUYS! ROFL!

I once talked to a girl... she like called me on the phone... we had a nice conversation, I don't know, she tried to sell some kind of insurance to me, but that didn't matter to me, it was so hot! She hung up on me when I asked her to mail me teh nekkid pics... ;(
It was awesome, this is what sex must feel like!

 

[Mr.Reak]

I once talked to a girl... she like called me on the phone... we had a nice conversation, I don't know, she tried to sell some kind of insurance to me, but that didn't matter to me, it was so hot! She hung up on me when I asked her to mail me teh nekkid pics... ;(
It was awesome, this is what sex must feel like!

I totally understand what you are saying, ROFL. I once touched girl’s hands! I was like OMFG I will sex her today! But she was like, OMFG no bitch, you are ugly. I am like OH NOS YOU DIDN’T! So I killed her (god damn, not again, another original plot twist!).

 

[HatRabit]

Is 'beat up' another english term for f**k? [/COLOR]

I dont even pretend to know what your implying there. 'Beat up' means to pysically hurt someone, usually using a large blunt object.

 

[Dalamari]

I dont even pretend to know what your implying there. 'Beat up' means to pysically hurt someone, usually using a large blunt object.

For instance, a wang

 

[Warbie]

As clear as if it were yesterday.

After falling asleep at a LAN party I awoke to find my my trousers on backwards and my mouse stuck up my ass.

Happy days.

 

[HatRabit]

For instance, a wang

sorry my english, what is this wang that you are describe???

 

[PvtRyan]

Okay I'll be serious now.

It was one night I was going out, I was supposed to be back around 0.00 but it was getting later and later until I finally came home drunk around 2.00. My dad was still up and was furious at me. So I explained I got drunk and laid for the first time. So he was like 'Wow son, great news, something we need to celebrate, get yourself a bear and sit down' and I said 'I'd like that beer, but at the moment, I can't sit down anymore.' :hmph:

 

[[Matt]]

Did it mean anything to you?

no

Was it romantic etc?

was it ****... :/

Enjoy it?

Not one bit...

Note to all people with cherry's still intact... dont get drunk before you sleep with someone...

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Uh...Cherry normally refers to the girl...ie the the...ahem...Well I'm sure you can guess.


Also getting drunk does tend to dry things out, which can cause all sorts of problems.

 

[Adrien C]

Originally Posted by PvtRyan
Did it mean anything to you? - Well... yeah
Was it romantic etc? - Well... morgue's aren't exactly romantic
Enjoy it? - She was a little stiff and cold... but it was alright..

Dude, you had your first time with a dead body, wrong!!
The question is whos was the youngest....

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

I had sex with my hand, does that count?

 

[PvtRyan]

Dude, you had your first time with a dead body, wrong!!
The question is whos was the youngest....

Hey, she was >16<40
What do I look like, a pervert? Some people....

(man I'm spamming)

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Did the hand give its consent? What about protection...you can get a nasty burn if your hands aren't properly moisturised...or...so i've heard....heh...uh.

 

[CptStern]

The question is whos was the youngest....

dont go down that road

 

[Adrien C]

Yesterday I had a threesome, me my left hand and my right hand.

 

[Dedalus]

Did it mean anything to you?

no

Was it romantic etc?

was it ****... :/

Enjoy it?

Not one bit...

Note to all people with cherry's still intact... dont get drunk before you sleep with someone...

yeah i'll agree with that one

i didn't even know i'd done it until the morning after. i woke up in someone's room with about 6 other people lying in various states of awkwardness. started poking a few people but realised i didn't know any of em, so i just left and made my way to the nearest bus stop with a stonking big headache.

la dee da, 15 minutes later *ring ring*..

"hello?"
female voice, not recognising who it is- "hey where'd you run off to?"
"just going home"
"oh didn't you want to stay?"
"who are you again?"
"..."
"hello?"
"you're being serious?"
"yeah sorry i got kind of mullered last night, sorry if i don't remember you"
"you're such a bastard, i knew you wouldn't remember me!"
"well just tell me for fecks sake and i might remember"
*proceeds to explain who she is, how we met, and what we did in her bed :/*

i was very shocked, and a little bit appalled with myself. but if anyone's seen Red Dwarf, they'll know what Cryten said, "oh i can feel my circuits corrupting, and i like it!".

well anyway, first time wasn't special, or important, and i can't remember how it felt. but the times after that were bloody brilliant :naughty: :bounce:

 

[Varg|Hund]

Yeah Dedalus, pretty much the same thing happened to me. Cept I knew the girl in question before.
Thankfully we agreed that we were both drunk and it didn't mean anything, so we managed to carry on being friends

 

[Yakuza]

Just wondering, this is for those who have lost it..

Did it mean anything to you?
Was it romantic etc?
Enjoy it?



Just post your feelings

1) sorta
2) Hell no
3) not realy

 

[DiSTuRbEd]

Just wondering, this is for those who have lost it..

Did it mean anything to you?
Was it romantic etc?
Enjoy it?



Just post your feelings

1. Not really...(my mistake)
2. Oh yeah my covers are sexeh! :E
3. Yeah umm sorta.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

Did the hand give its consent? What about protection...you can get a nasty burn if your hands aren't properly moisturised...or...so i've heard....heh...uh.

Fine, I admit it I viciously raped the left hand and when it grew tired and I proceeded with abusing the right im sick. No protection concent or lubrication.. im a horrible person.

 

[lePobz]

Yes, my spectrum meant the world to me.
I guess you could say it was romantic.
...and yes, I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Where the hell did i put it ;(

 

[Adrien C]

Due the worst part is when you really get drunk with people, you wake up and you ass really hurts....

 

[PvtRyan]

Yes, my spectrum meant the world to me.
I guess you could say it was romantic.
...and yes, I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Where the hell did i put it ;(

I dunno.. the basement? That's where I store all my drugged girls.... errr did I say girls, I mean old junk... yeah... old junk, like consoles.

 

[A2597]

Just wondering, this is for those who have lost it..

Did it mean anything to you?
Was it romantic etc?
Enjoy it?



Just post your feelings

not really.
err...not at all.
Hell yea! My first time PC Gaming was Tread Marks...MAN that game rocks!

 

[sHm0zY]

mine didnt mean anything to me it was just like sweet pussy.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

mine didnt mean anything to me it was just like sweet pussy.

you've been laid shmozy

 

[CyberSh33p]

/me sighs at le badger



my first time was with simmo. It was back in 2003, we glanced into each others eyes from across the forums, and it blossomed from there.

Sadly, things didn't work after that, after I exposed his gerbil racketeering ring.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

* CyberSh33p sighs at le badger




my first time was with simmo. It was back in 2003, we glanced into each others eyes from across the forums, and it blossomed from there.

Sadly, things didn't work after that, after I exposed his gerbil racketeering ring.

:naughty: :naughty:

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Pffft back on topic guys ;(

Mine wasn't really romantic or meaningful, but it felt good :E

whoa?
Badger u got ur cherry popped on ur birthday? man!
what a gift! :cheese:

 

[GhostValkyrie]

It was very romantic and I'll never forget it.

 

[Shuzer]

/me pokes GV

It's alllivvvveeee!

 

[Letters]

Wow, a lot of you have lost it, eh? I'm posting in a forum full of crazies!

Two love letters

And two of them love me?! :|

 

[GhostValkyrie]

As caziy as they come, my friend.