Gah. What is wrong with me?

[Varg|Hund]

The Internet is a great place, isn't it? Full of lovely anonymity.
This is great. I will most likely never meet anyone of you in real life, so I can tell you things, things that I probarly never could tell a person in rl.
I feel, well, strange. Unhappy. I don't understand.
Even when I'm surrounded by friends, I feel lonely. I change girl like pairs of shoes, but I just realised that I've never really been in love.
I go out on fridays and weekends, get myself drunk with the people I know. Do some really stupid shit, but I have fun I guess.
Then, when I come home and the alcohol starts to wear off, I feel unhappy again.
My grades in school are coming crashing down, as a consequence of me just not caring, just not bothering to study.
I've taken pretty much every "party drug" I can get hold of, and they give me happyness. Well, at least for a while. Not sure if it's really real happyness.
I feel like none of my friends understand me. They're more like "never mind Varg, you'll get over it, it's just a phase. Here, have another beer!"
I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. This is not how life is supposed to be! Don't tell me to talk to my parents, they'll never understand. They aren't like that.
I've tried staying in, avoiding going out drinking. It just made me more unhappy.

What shall I do? What can I do? I can't go on like this. Please. Help.

Regards,
a Varg who is very happy about the anonymity of the forums.

 

[mortiz]

Probably depression, see your doctor.

Depression can be brought on by a number of factors, in order to tackle the problem first you have to identify the cause. Has anything happend in your family life recently? Do you experience a lot of stress? Those are just a couple, but there's loads more causes. I would see a doctor about it, they'll probably make better recommendations than I could.

 

[craig]

... and there was me thinking that I was the only one who felt that way. Not getting excited about stuff friends find really good. Not bothering to answer the phone sometimes, because I cant be bothered with the hassle of doing something (being more content to just sit here like a muppet).

Like mortiz said, it's probably depression. As far as seeing a doctor though, if you're not on the verge of suicide, I wouldn't bother.

 

[Dedalus]

the doctor will only subscribe you with drugs, which are no better than the alcohol you drink or the party drugs you take.

my advice, if you're still a teenager then you're just gonna have to grit your teeth and get through it. most teenagers go through depression because of an imbalance of hormones and chemicals in their brain. the doctor will give you drugs which will try to correct the balance.

you can make yourself feel better by getting more exercise. seriously. i went through a couple of years when i was a kid where i would just be a zombie, not caring about anything or anyone. i took up squash, badminton, football, table tennis...anything i could find. sure it didn't make me 'happy', but at least it made me feel 'content' or less depressed. i'm sure you've got a few friends who could pair up with you and play sports with you.

normally depression in youngsters settles down when they reach their 20s.

but good luck with whatever you try.

 

[CrazyHarij]

What you need?

Big change of environment. Travel somewhere in sweden, visit a relative or something. I promise you, it worked for me.

 

[mortiz]

... and there was me thinking that I was the only one who felt that way. Not getting excited about stuff friends find really good. Not bothering to answer the phone sometimes, because I cant be bothered with the hassle of doing something (being more content to just sit here like a muppet).

Like mortiz said, it's probably depression. As far as seeing a doctor though, if you're not on the verge of suicide, I wouldn't bother.

Not bothering to answer the phone is not depression!!! It's another disorder called laziness, trust me, I've been experiencing it for quite some time now.

Oh, and Doctor's don't only prescribe you with drugs, they can also make recommendations for you to see a counsellor, depending on the severity of the problem.

 

[craig]

the doctor will only subscribe you with drugs, which are no better than the alcohol you drink or the party drugs you take.

my advice, if you're still a teenager then you're just gonna have to grit your teeth and get through it. most teenagers go through depression because of an imbalance of hormones and chemicals in their brain. the doctor will give you drugs which will try to correct the balance.

you can make yourself feel better by getting more exercise. seriously. i went through a couple of years when i was a kid where i would just be a zombie, not caring about anything or anyone. i took up squash, badminton, football, table tennis...anything i could find. sure it didn't make me 'happy', but at least it made me feel 'content' or less depressed. i'm sure you've got a few friends who could pair up with you and play sports with you.

normally depression in youngsters settles down when they reach their 20s.

but good luck with whatever you try.

But is being 'content' as good as it gets Dedalus? I'm 23 and I still feel like a whole section of my life is missing (for some reason or another), and feeling content, just doesnt quite cut the mustard, so I can sypathise with anyone who feels depressed about life in general.

Oh, I forgot to mention in my last post.. I applied to univeristy as a Mature Student not having the grades required to get onto the course I wanted to do (HND).

Anyway, I took my portfolio in, applied to HND Multimedia, got the place, worked my ass off, and at the end of the year I was transfered to degree for my hard work.

Now I've just finished my 2nd year of degree, and my grades are also slipping, but simply because I can't be bothered with the work. The challenge just hasn't been there in the second year, and its been really mundane..

... what I'm trying to say is maybe you need a challenge (not you Dedalus)

 

[craig]

Not bothering to answer the phone is not depression!!! It's another disorder called laziness, trust me, I've been experiencing it for quite some time now.

Oh, and Doctor's don't only prescribe you with drugs, they can also make recommendations for you to see a counsellor, depending on the severity of the problem.

I am indeed very lazy, and when I hear the phone ring sometimes I just cant be bothered because my friends always have a nack of getting me to agree to stuff I can't be arsed to do...

 

[Brian Damage]

You could try chocolate, that always seems to pick me up.

I dunno, man... a good thing to keep in mind is that it's probably all just a chemical imbalance. Or it could be demonic posession. But it's probably the chemicals.

Which means taking party drugs won't sort it out, and will probably make it worse, in the end...

Try not to dwell too deeply on gloomy things when in this sort of mood, as before you know it, one of those damn polar bears will have snuck up on you... I don't want to remember you as bear chow...

I feel like this occasionally, usually when I'm waiting for something to happen, or I've lost something, or I feel something is unattainable, or I'm worried about a facet of my life. It passes. I suppose you could try to look forward to the good things to come in your life, or try and remember back to better times...

Another thing is to try watching some really feel-good-type movies, or any comedy movie involving cops, a man called "Ernest", robots, or men dressed up as women.

You could also try taking a trip somewhere you've never been before, that might work...

Hmmmm...

Do you feel like something's missing in your life? Or someone? I dunno, mate, I get depressed, but it's hard to tell if you're worse or better than I get. Some kind of common reference, perhaps?

Oops, now I'm rambling. [/Armchair Psychiatrist Mode]

 

[CrazyHarij]

Wow, this is like watching a text transcript of a Dr Phil episode.

 

[Varg|Hund]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice
I'm not so sure about seeing a doctor though, I suspect that I'll have a hard time telling someone who is actually standing in front of me all this
Change of scenery sounds like a good idea, maybe I can pester my parents into sending me of to my uncle in London for a month or so

I'm off for the weekend now, going to our summerhouse. Once again, thank you for your responses, I really, really appreciate them =)
See you on sunday!

EDIT: Just saw Brians response. Haven't got time to type out more details now, but when I come back. Oh, and I'll be sure to buy some chocolate on the way to the summerhouse

 

[mortiz]

Dr Phil <3 Me

 

[CrazyHarij]

Change of scenery sounds like a good idea, maybe I can pester my parents into sending me of to my uncle in London for a month or so

Dude, you'll feel like a completely new person when coming back from a thing like that.

 

[Warbie]

and don't take anymore 'party drugs' - a very bad idea for someone who is feeling depressed.

How old are you? A combination of adolescence and drugs could easily be the cause of what you're experiencing. Hell, puberty alone is enough.

 

[Lil' Timmy]

i can speak to your concerns in only a limited manner. like most people i know of, i have gone through a small bout of depression. but i believe the affect and depth of a person's depression is dependant on so many different things that my experience likely has no relevance to yours. let me state here that clearly, what you are feeling is a type of depression. some people are depressed all their lives, and find something to believe in (religion, way's of life, money/power, material, other people, w/e). other people never experience it.

personally, i went through a short period of depression that resulted from a radical change in my life-style. i was a very insulated and introspective person and was, in a way, forced to become much more sociable and extrovert very quickly when i left for college. in a sense i suffered a minor shock to my persona and sense of personal (mental) space, which, seeing as i very much lived in my own mind, affected my behavior much more significantly than one would expect.

i basically remedied this by withdrawing from school (and therefor the environment that was causing my depression) for a while, and upon returning found that i was 'ready' to deal with my situation. in short, i had matured enough to handle it.

now this sounds very much different from your situation. what you describe seems to be a feeling of depression that is stemming from a recognition of your fundamental relationship to the world. specifically, you seem to be at a loss to find significance to your own existence. i can't really relate to that problem. while i've questioned concepts like the 'meaning of it all' for a long while, i've never felt unhappy about my life. i don't have a lot of friends, i don't go out much, i'm still much more introverted than your average guy of my age, i think. but i've always derived a simple pleasure from life, i guess. even when i was depressed, i was depressed about a certain situation and place, not depressed about my own self.

the emptiness that you feel can have many causes. you may have an chemical imbalance in your brain. your own personal criteria for 'fullness' or 'meaningfulness' in life may not be being met. in either case, you'd probably do well to speak to a therapist (is one made available to you through your school?).

do you know what would make you happy? have you sat down and tried to figure out exactly what it is about your individual experiences that are making you unhappy, in each case? this could be helpful in many ways. for one, it's always good to think through your problems: it will have positive effects on your physical brain and your state of mind (initially, by simply reminding yourself of your own importance, and also by occupying your effort).

how strong is your sense of self? you say you are happy about the anonymity of the internet.. why is that? are you embarrassed about the way you feel? that fear is actually a normal reaction, and 'normalness' is certainly not a bad thing. but you must not let your fears countermand your initiatives to seek help (and you can only receive the most minimal amount of help via the internet).

before going any further, try to understand/deduce what it is you feel you are missing (i.e. what you could, but don't, have that would make you happy) in a specific situation (like when you are out with your friends). would being madly in love with a woman make you ultimately happy? would having great amounts of money? would knowing god make you ultimately happy? try to answer those and similar questions for those instances where you feel acutely unfulfilled. as a counterpart to that exercise, try to identify the source of happiness for those times when you feel completely (or nearly so) contented.


edit: yes, travel can be a good thing, mainly in that it provides your mind with something to ponder other than your own mental state. it could very well be that you'll find yourself 'refresehed' in some way after a new experience and no longer feel as depressed as you feel now.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

i like dr. Timmy's analysis

/me nods
yes. excellent

 

[Tr0n]

I to am in a life boat like yours....The only advice I can give you is don't shut yourself out...because when you do you lose your friends, family, and most of all your heart.I have been threw so much suffering in my life (ie: abusive moms) and the only thing I had was my strength.Then I met a girl I thought could change my life but ended up with bullshit...and thats when it all went to hell in a hand basket.So I decided life isn't worth living with all this suffering...so a couple weeks ago I almost ended it all with a gunshot.But I reminded myself that I still had a goal and that was to make people happy...All you have to do is find out your mission in life is....and let that be your light.

 

[CrazyHarij]

I have another problem, actually. I'm not really sure what it is, but I'm less and less anxious for playing games, be it normal singleplayer or multiplayer stuff.

I just think it's more fun to just sit and chat on IRC or post in the forums, because you get to hear peoples opinions and you get alot of laughs and stuff..

What is happening to me? I used to think gaming was insanely fun but now it's not the same thing anymore.

 

[Lil' Timmy]

I have another problem, actually. I'm not really sure what it is, but I'm less and less anxious for playing games, be it normal singleplayer or multiplayer stuff.

I just think it's more fun to just sit and chat on IRC or post in the forums, because you get to hear peoples opinions and you get alot of laughs and stuff..

What is happening to me? I used to think gaming was insanely fun but now it's not the same thing anymore.

... it happens.

 

[Shippi]

.

 

[Dedalus]

But is being 'content' as good as it gets Dedalus? I'm 23 and I still feel like a whole section of my life is missing (for some reason or another), and feeling content, just doesnt quite cut the mustard, so I can sypathise with anyone who feels depressed about life in general.

Oh, I forgot to mention in my last post.. I applied to univeristy as a Mature Student not having the grades required to get onto the course I wanted to do (HND).

Anyway, I took my portfolio in, applied to HND Multimedia, got the place, worked my ass off, and at the end of the year I was transfered to degree for my hard work.

Now I've just finished my 2nd year of degree, and my grades are also slipping, but simply because I can't be bothered with the work. The challenge just hasn't been there in the second year, and its been really mundane..

... what I'm trying to say is maybe you need a challenge (not you Dedalus)

yes, for most people being content is the best it gets. i've never met anyone who is truly 'happy' (personally i don't think it's even achievable). there's no way anyone can get all their stress and angst down to 0. i think the best we can do is get our stress/anxiety to a minimum acceptable level, somewhere where it isn't consuming your every waking moment. it's not difficult to do, the difficult part is finding what actually stresses you out/causes your depression.

do some of you feel anxious about the future? unsure about it maybe? don't know what's lying ahead, not sure if anything is lying ahead for you? it's not an uncommon feeling.

i think lil' timmy hit it pretty well. travel is a good answer. because most of you seem to feel depressed/lazy when you're inside. you've turned your room/house into a shackle. it's a mental shackle that's turned into a physical ball and chain that follows you everywhere. i'm not a psychologist but a lot of this can be changed by you, and you alone.

some people say joining the army is the answer, others say 'go get a job'. the principle is the same: find something that drives you with a purpose. i know the feeling of just a bottomless void inside you. great chasm of emptiness etc etc..it's unavoidable and inevitable at some stage in your life.