GamesRadar is ****ing stupid

[the cow says moo]

5 Reasons nobody likes GamesRadar?

Is Darkside up for it?

 

[kazsymonds]

I agree strongly with 3 and 5.

Point 1 seems to be directed at the community, not the game itself, seems they aren't really sure what they're criticising. Valve should be commended that they didn't go for some generic babe with massive tits for the game.

I like not knowing about Gordon.

 

[Darkside55]

Damn, this is about to get multi-quote-y.

A.) If you can't figure out like, 85% of the story after playing the games, you're a retard.

...

If you need a Wiki entry to understand that the Advisors are a race completely dependent on technology and convert other species into biological weapons, you're a retard.

The problem isn't figuring out the story, it's the fact that the story is actually given to you in the vaguest way possible that makes it seem like everybody in the game is not only clued in, but intent on keeping you in the dark. It feels less like the NPCs are simply forgetting to tell you things or getting caught up in the moment, but more like they're intentionally dicking with you.

Yes, it's incredibly clear within the first thirty seconds of the game that Gordon was gone for a long time after HL1. Yes, it's also clear that the world's gone 1984 and by the time you hear the first Breencast you realize that the "benefactors" are obviously of alien origin and they have advanced technology and this and that, but would it actually kill anybody to SAY it? Gordon might be a mute in game because Valve doesn't want him to say anything that the player wouldn't say, but were there any players who didn't reach Kleiner's lab and think, "Oh, good, the scientist will explain what's been going on in my absence?" If I'd been trapped in stasis for twenty years I'd think the first words out of my mouth would be, "What the hell happened?"

Instead it's "Good to see you Gordon!" "Looks like the suit still fits, Gordon!" "Pull this lever, Gordon." "Whoops, looks like the Combine are onto us, Gordon." "Don't forget your crowbar, Gordon." "Ok, goodbye now, Gordon." Seriously, nobody could take a minute to say, "Your actions set off portal storms that drew a hostile alien race to Earth that completely enslaved us within seven hours?"

You don't actually get someone saying something to that effect until you've rode a boat for fifteen hours. That's not good story pacing, that's goddamn retarded.

If you need a wiki entry to figure out that the Vorts were slaves of Nihilanth, you're a retard.

Hurr durr, because I totally didn't say that Half-Life 1 told a cohesive story and you could find this out in the first part of Interloper.

B.) Oh no's, people look in files for plot clues, that must mean the plot is bad! Or, you know, it means people are curious.

No, the plot isn't bad. The plot is generic and ripped from a hojillion sci-fi stories then cobbled together, but it isn't bad. And you prove my point anyway: if the story didn't have such a degree of vagueness then people wouldn't have anything to be curious about. Instead you've got people pouring over soundfiles and // comments in model files trying to tie things together.

But Valve realized this and fixed it by creating the episodes, which cleverly continued the ending of HL2.

Ha! Valve was clever, alright. Clever enough to solve one deus ex machina with another deus ex machina, then have the player go through two expositionless runs, giving no answers but throwing a ton more questions into the mix.

Oh, and just when you're about to finally get some concrete answers? The guy giving 'em gets his brains sucked out through a meat straw. Because that's how Valve rolls, baby! You want answers? Fuck you! Buy more episodes!

Is Darkside up for it?

Maybe if I actually, y'know, cared enough about GamesRadar to rant against it.

 

[Remus]

Long rant

I agree with all your points, except the last one no longer applies to me. I wasn't that impressed after finishing HL2, and got Ep1, and Ep2 hoping that it would get better... With their long production times I've completely lost interest, now I wouldn't get EP3 even if it was released tomorrow. I'm actually more interested in the "Black Mesa" mod, if it's ever released (and I doubt it).

 

[Solaris]

Indeed, HL1 was the better game. Source sucks as an engine and I'd rather play all the hl1 based mods than their sourced based counter-parts.

 

[Unfocused]

I so agree with Viperidae and Darkside.

Now with Ep3 Valve is having a hard time satisfactorily concluding what they've done so far. So they take their time, while their tech is aging and expectations are (probably) rising "since they're doing it for sooo long it's gotta be awesome!".

Most likely Episode 3 will be a disappointment.

 

[PvtRyan]

The story is vague because answers aren't interesting, but questions are. Whatever the G-Man is, the answer will not be satisfying because it's the mystery that makes him interesting. I want to be teased, I want my goddamn blue balls.

 

[the cow says moo]

This isn't going to turn into some G-man theroy thread, is it?

 

[kazsymonds]

Hay guise, i have a theory i think Gman is Gordon from the future lols.

 

[Darkside55]

The story is vague because answers aren't interesting, but questions are.

Perpetual question-making isn't good storytelling, though. While I'll definitely agree that some questions are better left unanswered, the majority of the game's plot is treated this way. To put it into Halflife2.net terms it's a goddamn werewolf party: you're given a scenario with all these potential outcomes but nobody ever comes back to tell you what the answer was.

 

[Barnz]

They want you to answer the questions.

 

[phantomdesign]

"5 reasons to hate" is, in my opinion, pointless negativity. Why do we need 5 reasons to hate anything?

And then the article is just horrible written. Did they hire a retarded 13 year old fanboy to write for them?

 

[Darkside55]

They want you to answer the questions.

No, they want you to keep buying their games in hope of answers.

 

[the cow says moo]

They want you to keep playing their games in hope of answers.

 

[TheOneFreeMan]

Most of that is opinion, and opinion designed to draw a reaction out of people ...

But did he just say they're making sequels out of games we weren't tired of playing, and then cite PORTAL as an example?

 

[Warped]

Gay radar?? ohhhh Gamesradar,,,,HA!

seriously wtf is Gamesradar and why does is it flamboyantly awkward to say

 

[the cow says moo]

flamboyantly

I see what you did there.

 

[Barnz]

No, they want you to keep buying their games in hope of answers.

So you buy the games to learn who GMan is, or what?

 

[Darkside55]

The G-man is the only the most obvious question. We've been thrown others, like: who are his employers? Does he even still have employers? How did the resistance pay for your services? DID the resistance pay for your services? What was the final fate of Dr. Breen? What's aboard the Borealis? What does the G-man plan to do with the Borealis? What are the "unforseen consequences?" What's Gordon's connection to the vortessence? There's probably some I'm forgetting, and also they always roll out a ton of new questions every episode, so when Ep3 comes out in 2057 you can add the questions that game poses to the list.