girls... (continued)

[LoneDeranger]

I'm afraid I have a bit of sad news here. Me and this girl have been seeing each other for a week or so now. Nothing serious just talked and stuff (of course I fell in love with her, but I wasn't ready to tell her .. until today). So I decided to wait for her after work .. I waited for 3 f*cking hours, I was hungry, I needed to take a piss badly, etc.

So then finally as soon as I open my mouth, guess what she says?

"I have plans tonight. I will call you when I have time."

Thats all! WTF!!! :flame: I don't know what you guys think, but that didn't sound very good to me at all. In fact I got so depressed I walked right into oncomming traffic. Why couldn't she just say "Get lost you dork!" or something like that. At least then I would know for sure. I wanted to ask her what kind of plans, but I couldn't - I felt like she would say something like "Well, now that's none of your business."

Has anything similar ever happened to you guys? Do you think this is "the end" ;(

P.S. Sorry for the useless rant .. I just feel really bad right now.

 

[Sgt.Igneri]

Its not the end, just a sign. You gotta have more fun with her, man. Shes probly going out with her friends to party. You shoulda just asked, but said it in a light hearted way.

 

[Stone]

god you people are melodramatic, maybe she just made previous plans....remember she's got a life too....

 

[Zerox]

"when I have time" looks like a bad omen to me.

 

[Dave]

Originally posted by Stone
You people are melodramatic, maybe she just made previous plans....remember she's got a life too....

Ditto. Stop making a big deal out of everything. Even if she is messing around with you and doesn't want a relationship, it's not the end of the world.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Yeah maybe I'm just overreacting. She does work 12 hours a day and is probably dead tired in the end. But she was so happy yesterday, I dunno what got into her. I don't think she even smiled.

 

[Dave]

Originally posted by LoneDeranger
Yeah maybe I'm just overreacting. She does work 12 hours a day and is probably dead tired in the end. But she was so happy yesterday, I dunno what got into her. I don't think she even smiled.

She probably just had a bad day. Sorry if I was abit snappy in my previous reply - Computer troubles.

Maybe give her some time to rest and then phone/text/email her and find out where you stand.

 

[Dux]

Anyone would be raver blunt after 12 hours of work, especially if it was a bad day. It is depressing when you have been waiting for 3 hours or more - like you were and to have that happen. But hey, It happens you shoudlent take it as a bad sign.

 

[LoneDeranger]

I'm starting to feel like I did something really stupid now. I mean here I am, a software developer - I come in at 9 leave at 5, take nice relaxing hour-long lunch breaks.

She on the other hand works 10-12 hours every day, even on weekends. Not just work, hard manual labor in a grocery store. Her boss is an asshole, makes her wash the floor and stuff. And she probably makes just barely enough money to survive.

Yeah, it must be my fault. I hope she forgives me for my arrogance.

 

[Stone]

if you feel that bad lone, take her out to dinner, a nice candle lit dinner...

 

[Blud Stane]

ya man you have to make her want to be around you... make her feel like if she ever goes out with anyone else, she'll be missing a great time with you. Just learn how to have fun with everything without being obnoctious.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Originally posted by Stone
if you feel that bad lone, take her out to dinner, a nice candle lit dinner...

Yeah I'll definatelly do that when (and if) she calls me. Maybe I just don't understand her. She's weird. She's not from around here. I have enough trouble understanding local girls, let alone Miss. Somewhere-from-Asia.

 

[SnowBall]

I wouldnt worry about it. Who knows, it is that time of the month anyways isnt it? And yes, ive had something similar like that happen to me. I used to be pretty darn geeky, i loved a girl, i told her, and she never wanted to talk to em again. I think its funny now, but I was really depressed then. I'm not so thick headed and geeky now thankfully.

 

[Dux]

Originally posted by SnowBall
Who knows, it is that time of the month anyways isnt it?

hehe, why yes it is.

Offering to take them out to dinner or somewhere else is always a good option, so its deffinatley worth the try.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Hmmm ok. This just shows how much I know about dating.

I got propelled into this relationship thing last Thursday by accident (I was planning to go home and chat about HL2, not hook up with a girl) and it was probably dumb to think it was just gona go all smooth and stuff.

 

[Dux]

Man shocking aint it. One minute your thinking about Half-Life 2 the next, women and relationships. :E

 

[SpuD]

But I think we can clearly see the more important one...


It involves a crowbar.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Thanks for the advice guys. At least in HL2 we have the quickload key if things don't go well with Alyx

 

[GreaseMonkey]

This is sad. Nothing beats women. They are what we live for. Video games, in terms of importance to me, are far away from girls.
I <3 Teh G|rl5!!11

Sure it is easier to beat HL2 then get a girl sometimes, but the end result is worth it

 

[The DemonWithin]

Originally posted by GreaseMonkey
This is sad. Nothing beats women. They are what we live for. Video games, in terms of importance to me, are far away from girls.
I <3 Teh G|rl5!!11

Sure it is easier to beat HL2 then get a girl sometimes, but the end result is worth it

Im wit him, my priorities
Women are much more fun then games, most of the time

 

[nw909]

Originally posted by GreaseMonkey
Sure it is easier to beat HL2 then get a girl sometimes.

How would you know, do you have some secret leaked beta of HL-2???

 

[ComradeBadger]

No seriously... it is , it's a really nice feeling when they are all nervous and you ask, and they say "yes" and their face lights up.... thats so cute (I'm babbling about Sarah here :cheese: )

And then, spending time with someone you fancy is a lot of fun...

Lone, you were overreacting mate ... but don't worry, we've all done it sometime

 

[oldi1knoby]

Girls are devious. They will use your jealousy to get you to bring your feelings out into the open. The best thing to do is to STOP procrastinating and tell her how you feel. My last girlfriend used this same tactic to get me to make a move. Chances are, she doesn't even HAVE plans.

ASK her! The worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. The best thing? Someone you can love and be loved by. That, my friend, is worth it.
Edit: The best way I have found to ask a girl is this. First ask her, "So do you have a boyfriend?", or if you know she does," So, you don't have a boyfriend right?"

She'll say,"No"

You say," Well, are you looking?" or,"Do you want one?"

The rest will come naturally. It's an easy way to bring up the subject without there being direct confrontation. If she says,"I have a boyfriend", just say"Cool" and then change the subject. Not a big deal. If she says, "I'm not looking for a boyfriend" Thats an unconfrontational way for her to tell you she is not interested. It makes it easier on both of you.

Oh, well. Hope this helps.

 

[Guest]

Welcome back to real life LoneDeranger!

 

[Fat Tony!]

Originally posted by oldi1knoby
Girls are devious. They will use your jealousy to get you to bring your feelings out into the open. The best thing to do is to STOP procrastinating and tell her how you feel. My last girlfriend used this same tactic to get me to make a move. Chances are, she doesn't even HAVE plans.

ASK her! The worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. The best thing? Someone you can love and be loved by. That, my friend, is worth it.
Edit: The best way I have found to ask a girl is this. First ask her, "So do you have a boyfriend?", or if you know she does," So, you don't have a boyfriend right?"

She'll say,"No"

You say," Well, are you looking?" or,"Do you want one?"

The rest will come naturally. It's an easy way to bring up the subject without there being direct confrontation. If she says,"I have a boyfriend", just say"Cool" and then change the subject. Not a big deal. If she says, "I'm not looking for a boyfriend" Thats an unconfrontational way for her to tell you she is not interested. It makes it easier on both of you.

Oh, well. Hope this helps.

Yep i think that stuff is good but if u know this person its best to say something like how are u doing with ure boyfriend? And if she looks at u strangely say oops and then well make ure move. Its less embarresing that way

 

[GreaseMonkey]

Originally posted by nw909
How would you know, do you have some secret leaked beta of HL-2???

Neh, But I'm pretty sure it WILL be easier to beat HL2 than get a girl.

 

[LoneDeranger]

I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a boyfriend. She wouldn't have neglected to mention it if she did. I even asked a couple of indirect questions to check and double check.

I think I underestimated how smart she is. Plus she is a year older then I am (what is it with me and older women? :| ) Besides, if girls so easily fell in love with deranged programmers they met on the street, there wouldn't be any geeks left on earth.

I'm gona give her some time, then I'm gona be right back at it.

 

[peoplesuc]

A few questions to get a better feel for the situation.

1) Did you tell her that you waited for her for three hours?
2) Did you specifically tell her, "Damn girl I REALLY LOVE YOU!"?
3) Before that day she "blew you off" did she give any indication that she was really intesrested in you (touching you when she really doesn't have to) ?

1) If you did tell her that you were waiting three hours then you might have scared her away. It's like that one comedian's line, "The moon looks beautiful the way it hits your eyes." and the girl says, "Are you going to rape me now?". You have to look at your actions from other's perspectives. I could wait outside the bank for weeks if I was guarenteed a million dollars. But what reasonable bank manager would make a deal like that? To some your behavior is of a stalker. Sure it might have been romantic about two decades ago but persently it's a social no-no. IMMEDIATE REMEDY: Treat her like an ass hole would and she'll come back begging for more. Young girls like that. Fortunatly they grow out of it when they get pregenant or turn 30. LONG TERM REMEDY: Talk to a psychologist and work out your emotions. It's not looked down upon to seek help for these kinds of things. Even with just one session you'll feel a whole lot better.

2) If you said that you love her after only talking to her for a week then that is a really freeky thing to a girl. What I think you might be under the influence is 'lust'. REMEDY: Take a cold shower and find a new girl and take it slow.

3) When a well adjusted female is interested in you she'll show signs that she wants to get to know you better. For instance she'll touch you for some petty reason. And not like a slap on the back but gliding hand on the arm. Also she'll make time for you. She may very well have had plans that night. The opposite is true as well. If she is scared off or disgusted the very sight of you then you'll know. Be aware of the non verbal signs.

Hope these things help. We all have to go these feelings at least once in our lives. Might as well help everyone in these forums get through those feelings in a humorous and realistic manner.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Originally posted by peoplesuc
A few questions to get a better feel for the situation.

1) Did you tell her that you waited for her for three hours?
2) Did you specifically tell her, "Damn girl I REALLY LOVE YOU!"?
3) Before that day she "blew you off" did she give any indication that she was really intesrested in you (touching you when she really doesn't have to) ?

1) If you did tell her that you were waiting three hours then you might have scared her away. It's like that one comedian's line, "The moon looks beautiful the way it hits your eyes." and the girl says, "Are you going to rape me now?". You have to look at your actions from other's perspectives. I could wait outside the bank for weeks if I was guarenteed a million dollars. But what reasonable bank manager would make a deal like that? To some your behavior is of a stalker. Sure it might have been romantic about two decades ago but persently it's a social no-no. IMMEDIATE REMEDY: Treat her like an ass hole would and she'll come back begging for more. Young girls like that. Fortunatly they grow out of it when they get pregenant or turn 30. LONG TERM REMEDY: Talk to a psychologist and work out your emotions. It's not looked down upon to seek help for these kinds of things. Even with just one session you'll feel a whole lot better.

2) If you said that you love her after only talking to her for a week then that is a really freeky thing to a girl. What I think you might be under the influence is 'lust'. REMEDY: Take a cold shower and find a new girl and take it slow.

3) When a well adjusted female is interested in you she'll show signs that she wants to get to know you better. For instance she'll touch you for some petty reason. And not like a slap on the back but gliding hand on the arm. Also she'll make time for you. She may very well have had plans that night. The opposite is true as well. If she is scared off or disgusted the very sight of you then you'll know. Be aware of the non verbal signs.

Hope these things help. We all have to go these feelings at least once in our lives. Might as well help everyone in these forums get through those feelings in a humorous and realistic manner.

Good points peoplesuc ...

1. No. Even if she asked I would have said something like "I got held up at work". I'm not the type of guy who likes to show all his cards, by any means. Sometimes I lie just for the heck of it.

2. No. There is no way I could say that right out -- I'm way too shy for that. If she did go with me I would have made a few indirect comments, but I wouldn't say that outright.

3. Yes! She did touch my hand. I don't know if she did it on purpose, but it was definatelly not an accident. If she did not I wouldn't get into this thing at all.

So looks like I did good on all counts Anyway here is what I think:

Positive:

1. The 4th or 5th thing she asked when we first met was "what kind of career do you plan to have in the future?".
2. When we ate dinner she said "we should do this again"
3. She asked me what I was thinking about.
4. On two separate occasions she said that I was romantic and that I was an optimist. (not true! but whatever)
5. The whole touching thing.
6. She gave me her phone number.
7. She seemed very upset that I didn't call her for 2 days. She even wanted to double check that I got her phone number right.

Negative:

1. She always looks tired (because she probably is).
2. She doesn't say a much, yet she is not shy at all. Weird. First time I met a person like that.
3. She likes to be blunt, yet she is not mean or anything.
4. She seems very independent and determined. And smart too. Too smart maybe. Her attitude reminds me of my mom's.

Well ok. I'm not gona call her for at least a week. It seems to make her upset and plus I'm not much of a good phone-talker anyway. And if she dares to ask why I didn't call her again, I'm gona say something like "because over the phone I can't be close to you". Hehe, that will show her

 

[Hazza]

Originally posted by oldi1knoby
Girls are devious. They will use your jealousy to get you to bring your feelings out into the open. The best thing to do is to STOP procrastinating and tell her how you feel. My last girlfriend used this same tactic to get me to make a move. Chances are, she doesn't even HAVE plans.

ASK her! The worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. The best thing? Someone you can love and be loved by. That, my friend, is worth it.
Edit: The best way I have found to ask a girl is this. First ask her, "So do you have a boyfriend?", or if you know she does," So, you don't have a boyfriend right?"

She'll say,"No"

You say," Well, are you looking?" or,"Do you want one?"

The rest will come naturally. It's an easy way to bring up the subject without there being direct confrontation. If she says,"I have a boyfriend", just say"Cool" and then change the subject. Not a big deal. If she says, "I'm not looking for a boyfriend" Thats an unconfrontational way for her to tell you she is not interested. It makes it easier on both of you.

Oh, well. Hope this helps.

This reminds me of learning to do my job knocking on doors for a double glazing company. It just made me laugh, no offence.
And if she says she's not interested, say "Is it something you would consider in the next twelve months?" LOL

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Originally posted by Hazza
This reminds me of learning to do my job knocking on doors for a double glazing company. It just made me laugh, no offence.
And if she says she's not interested, say "Is it something you would consider in the next twelve months?" LOL

oh thats the funniest thing Ive heard all day. Man Ive got to try that one someone just for a laugh! If they say...well then...Cashback!

 

[oldi1knoby]

Hahah, does my advice really sound like a door to door salesman? I've only had 3 girlfriends, but it worked on 2 of them. The other one asked me out.(and the relationship only lasted 7 days, opposed to the other lasting 1 year, and the other lasting 7 months.)