Going camping!?

[kirovman]

NEVER EVER camp near a military camp. you keep waking up in the middle of the night.



^ that might happen.

Lol. I thought you were going to say "they might grenade you, or mine you" or something.

But instead "Oh noes! You might wake up early!"

 

[15357]

Lol. I thought you were going to say "they might grenade you, or mine you" or something.

But instead "Oh noes! You might wake up early!"

yep. and have people point rifles at you.

 

[Mr-Fusion]

Just make sure you go camping with a group of like-minded morons interested in only one thing, assing around. Bring lots of knives,alcohol and kerosine, burn down the forest in a drunken stupor then pick up the burnt animal carcasses and eat them. (ancient aboriginal tactics, seriously)

Now i'm going to get told off by Seargent Camper Joe Perfect. "don't burn down the forest, be one with nature"

Well LA DEeee Fricking dahhhhhh.

 

[Shodan]

Take the crapest, most unusable rucksack you can find, these are my sisters tactics btw, they are brilliant,

This bag

And an inflatable tent, the most pointless contraption ever.

Click for pointless

Also take make-up, high heels, a small TV and other unnecessary shite.

 

[jverne]

thank for all your advices, i feel safer already :E

the knife that Rambo had in the first part was cool, wonder where i could get that?! :rolling:

but bears don't eat you if your asleep, right?

 

[short recoil]

the knife that Rambo had in the first part was cool, wonder where i could get that?! :rolling:

http://www.blades-uk.com/view_items.php?cat_id=86

 

[Vegeta897]

Take the crapest, most unusable rucksack you can find, these are my sisters tactics btw, they are brilliant,

This bag

And an inflatable tent, the most pointless contraption ever.

Click for pointless

Also take make-up, high heels, a small TV and other unnecessary shite.

ROFL

Funniest post of the month

And man Recoil, you are pretty hard core! I wish I was man enough to do that kind of stuff...

I just cringe at the thought of being bit by misquitos (sp?) every 5 seconds. So annoying.

 

[MarcoPollo]

thank for all your advices, i feel safer already :E

the knife that Rambo had in the first part was cool, wonder where i could get that?! :rolling:

but bears don't eat you if your asleep, right?

Bears dont eat you unless you smell more like something appetizing than you do like a smelly human. Also, bears aren't that much of a problem unless you are in california. You should worry about smaller things like squirells, If those little bastards get into ur shit they cause ALOT of damage.

 

[short recoil]

I just cringe at the thought of being bit by misquitos (sp?) every 5 seconds. So annoying.

I HATE mosquitoes!, no matter how much i protect my skin they always get through some how.....to the worst places...
Having a fire keeps most away, some of the more potent repellants are good but you don't stand a chance hunting with repellant on, rabbits and deer will smell you from a mile off.

If you camp near water in the summer with not much protection it is possible for you to be bitten up to 1000 times! ..........i think it is possible to get quite ill if you get bitten enough (have to be quite a lot).
Obv if this happens in africa e.t.c, you'll have good old malaria.

 

[kirovman]

No bears where I'm camping. All dangerous animals are extinct here. Except boars, and elephants that escaped from the zoo.

I don't suffer too much from mosquitos. Except that occurance of Malaria.

 

[mortiz]

Just go naked and live of the land.

 

[MarcoPollo]

Yeh, 3 reasons not to camp near water,
1.In the morning your stuff can be soaked because of the mostiure
2.All the animals go there to drink and such, Its cool but sometimes annoying.
3. Mosquitoes1

 

[short recoil]

No bears where I'm camping. All dangerous animals are extinct here. Except boars, and elephants that escaped from the zoo.

I don't suffer too much from mosquitos. Except that occurance of Malaria.

And the occasional black panther..........

Yes, i have seen a black panther near where i live.....so have many others.

I find boars coming back an interesting prospect, they are in forests near southampton, i would love to take on a fully grown male boar with a knife!
(adults weigh more than me, and i weigh 16 stone)

EDIT:

Yeh, 3 reasons not to camp near water,
1.In the morning your stuff can be soaked because of the mostiure
2.All the animals go there to drink and such, Its cool but sometimes annoying.
3. Mosquitoes1

That just reminded me of a useful tip: When making a stone fireplace (a circle of stones or whatever) make sure the stones are fully dry, do NOT take stones from around or in a river.

If you do when they heat up the water will turn into steam, inside the rock and it will blow up like a fragmentation grenade......not a good thing to be blasted with supersonic rock particles and hot embers at the same time!

EDIT 2: that also reminds me of what one of my friends did once, tried cooking a tin of beans on a fire......went to poke it around with a stick BOOM!........was covered in boiling beans and ash, burnt his face a bit
(i wasn't there but apparently it was the funniest thing ever)

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Bears dont eat you unless you smell more like something appetizing than you do like a smelly human. Also, bears aren't that much of a problem unless you are in california. You should worry about smaller things like squirells, If those little bastards get into ur shit they cause ALOT of damage.

Is that before or after you defecate?

 

[kirovman]

And the occasional black panther..........

Yes, i have seen a black panther near where i live.....so have many others.

I find boars coming back an interesting prospect, they are in forests near southampton, i would love to take on a fully grown male boar with a knife!
(adults weigh more than me, and i weigh 16 stone)

EDIT:

That just reminded me of a useful tip: When making a stone fireplace (a circle of stones or whatever) make sure the stones are fully dry, do NOT take stones from around or in a river.

If you do when they heat up the water will turn into steam, inside the rock and it will blow up like a fragmentation grenade......not a good thing to be blasted with supersonic rock particles and hot embers at the same time!

I don't think I've ever heard of a panther attacking someone.

Would you take on one of those man-eating pigs out of the Hannibal movie?

 

[mortiz]

Is that before or after you defecate?

I think the former would somehow cause the more damage.

 

[MarcoPollo]

Is that before or after you defecate?

Cheesy joke alert!

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You have an alert system for them? Must be a pretty common occurence with you...

 

[Vegeta897]

Uhh on the topic of flaming (heheh) how do you recommend starting a fire, and other such concernings?

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Matches, lighter fluid, wood. Firelighter is always helpful too.

Don't give me that rubbing sticks malarky. We have these inventions for a reason!

 

[MarcoPollo]

Use tinder and kindling (In a pyramid) and a match... Unless you are hardcore and want to use a bow.But remember the drier the better for tinder.

 

[short recoil]

Uhh on the topic of flaming (heheh) how do you recommend starting a fire, and other such concernings?

This is how i do it:

Get everything ready at the start, you **** up if you have to keep running around looking for wood "OMG THE FIRES GOING TO GO OUT!!!!"
Have it all around you so you don't have to get up.
You want:
Tinder: Very fine, very dry highly flamable material. About a "handfull" will do.
Small stuff/kindling: small sticks no more than .50" diameter, needs to be quite dry and about 4-10 inch long.
Main stuff: logs, large sticks e.t.c, try and get stuff that has been fallen for a while and dry....stuff with moss on will usually be wet, stuff straight from the tree is very hard to light in some cases.

If there is a birch tree nearby (white bark) the bark can be peeled off very thin and makes excellent tinder, dried grass, roots and fibrous material also makes excellent tinder.

With all your material ready this it what you want to do:

1.Clear the fire area, get rid of leaves e.t.c from the area, dig a small pit (8 inch deep) if there is wind, and place dry rocks around.
2. take the tinder and make a small ball, light it with the prefered method......(lighter or matches for most campers...i can tell you about firebow methods if you ask) if you light it at the bottom it is best, so the flame spreads upwards through the ball, blow on it gently to provide oxygen until it bursts into flames.
3. Put the ball into the pit making sure it stays alight, then stack the smallest, driest kindling sticks/material around the ball until they light.
4. build up the fire with larger and larger peieces until desired size

TIP: most people go mad and make a massive roaring fire that is too much and burns through their wood in no time, preferably you want a small, stable controlled fire that with some attention can be kept going all night.

If the fire ever starts dying, rearange it so that oxygen can get to the unburnt material and blow on any embers until you face starts burning and you see "plasma" around the embers....the heat from this furnace effect gives the fire a kick in the pants.
(my friends always get me to be the blower because i have more capacity in my lungs than a granada has in its 2.8litre engine)

EDIT: Something i forgot, you can make good tinder by rubbing a blade down a dry peice of de barked wood, so it "feathers" and reveals the fibres.

 

[Doppelgofer]

OMG CAMPING IS THE ABSOLUTE AMAZE

alls you need is a flask and some cards and thats it....also, theres nothing....NOTHING like waking up to the smell of DEWEY GRASS in the morning

oh how i miss camping...we used to camp out and take a mobile phone, couple of beers, get drunk and prank people...and don't go to sleep either...stay up like me and one of me mates did till about 5 in the morning just shouting SPACE COMPALABUM over and over again until you almost die from laughing

oh happy memories

 

[jverne]

This is how i do it:

Get everything ready at the start, you **** up if you have to keep running around looking for wood "OMG THE FIRES GOING TO GO OUT!!!!"
Have it all around you so you don't have to get up.
You want:
Tinder: Very fine, very dry highly flamable material. About a "handfull" will do.
Small stuff/kindling: small sticks no more than .50" diameter, needs to be quite dry and about 4-10 inch long.
Main stuff: logs, large sticks e.t.c, try and get stuff that has been fallen for a while and dry....stuff with moss on will usually be wet, stuff straight from the tree is very hard to light in some cases.

If there is a birch tree nearby (white bark) the bark can be peeled off very thin and makes excellent tinder, dried grass, roots and fibrous material also makes excellent tinder.

With all your material ready this it what you want to do:

1.Clear the fire area, get rid of leaves e.t.c from the area, dig a small pit (8 inch deep) if there is wind, and place dry rocks around.
2. take the tinder and make a small ball, light it with the prefered method......(lighter or matches for most campers...i can tell you about firebow methods if you ask) if you light it at the bottom it is best, so the flame spreads upwards through the ball, blow on it gently to provide oxygen until it bursts into flames.
3. Put the ball into the pit making sure it stays alight, then stack the smallest, driest kindling sticks/material around the ball until they light.
4. build up the fire with larger and larger peieces until desired size

TIP: most people go mad and make a massive roaring fire that is too much and burns through their wood in no time, preferably you want a small, stable controlled fire that with some attention can be kept going all night.

If the fire ever starts dying, rearange it so that oxygen can get to the unburnt material and blow on any embers until you face starts burning and you see "plasma" around the embers....the heat from this furnace effect gives the fire a kick in the pants.
(my friends always get me to be the blower because i have more capacity in my lungs than a granada has in its 2.8litre engine)

EDIT: Something i forgot, you can make good tinder by rubbing a blade down a dry peice of de barked wood, so it "feathers" and reveals the fibres.

nice tutorial! altough i know how to make a fire (i'm sort of a fire nut), but i just can't comprehend how some peple can't start a fire!?! They take a large log and burn it with a lighter!!! WTF, don't they have common sense?!

But really, i'v learnd lots of good advices here, thanks!

Now the only problem is time! I finish school in about three weeks...ugh! ;(
Oh well, at least i'll prepare for good, because now we're planning to camp for 6-7 days, not 3! aaaa...can't wait!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

 

[Foxtrot]

When looking for wood for a fire, the best place to look is under a pine tree, it is always the dryest.

 

[Dan]

Once when I was canoe tripping and looking for a site to set up camp a pack of wolves came up to the shore and started howling at us. We ended up paddeling an extra hour or so and camping on the far side of the lake but it was cool none the less.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You should have gone and tried to pet the wolves. If they had attacked, go for the youngest. Infants are best... yeah, animals will always respect you if you attack the infants. Well this guy told me that anyway, and he didn't flinch when he said it. But then, he didn't have a face anymore... funny, he never said what happened.