Gonna go to Valve tomorrow (for real)

[spitcodfry]

Yeah I'm the dude who went to the building where Valve's offices are located earlier today and thought I spotted a possible 'gold' date reception for Valve. Turned out to be Microsoft that booked the area.

In a past Gamespy preview they did on Half-Life 2 (one of the first), they had a chance to visit their new offices in Bellevue, WA. They state that Valve is located on the second floor of the building which I went to today. They said that once you get off the elevator you can't miss the Valve logo with a sign pointing down a hallway towards the company's receptionist desk.

So I'm going to attempt to get in there tomorrow sometime and get some answers. Here's where I need the community's help. Should I get dressed up all fancy like? I'm clueless. Someone give me some tips...lord knows my ever-diminishing self esteem needs them.

 

[Goombatommy]

Go in wearing nothing but spandex........they'll get a kick out of it...
lol j/p man
snag a copy of HL 2 for us

 

[Guest]

wear a gabe newell fat body suit

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by Goombatommy
Go in wearing nothing but spandex........they'll get a kick out of it...
lol j/p man

LOL...they'd call security after they stopped rolling around on the ground laughing

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by eyesore
wear a gabe newell fat body suit

That'd be just mean...the receptionist would take one look at me and then release the headcrabs

 

[Goombatommy]

Originally posted by spitcodfry
LOL...they'd call security after they stopped rolling around on the ground laughing

:cheers: So you'll actually go into the building? What if their's a party? Ya gonna crash it? Take some pictures this time. lol

 

[Guest]

Originally posted by spitcodfry
That'd be just mean...the receptionist would take one look at me and then release the headcrabs

or think you were gabe.

 

[Maskirovka]

well i wouldn't go in there in sweatpants without taking a shower...but i wouldn't wear a suit or anything.

put on some nice pants and a button up shirt...then have sex with the receptionist (assuming it's a she...and assuming you're not gay)

after the sex, you'll get your info.

EDIT: and bring a fkn camera this time...especially for the sex part (again...assuming it's a woman...no gay sex plz)

 

[TechnoHippyChic]

I would suggest against a stunt. Something geek-dressy-casual...

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by Goombatommy
:cheers: So you'll actually go into the building? What if their's a party? Ya gonna crash it? Take some pictures this time. lol

I'll spike the punch, mingle for a while, and then when everyone's wasted I'll sneak into their offices and burn me a copy of the game

 

[Apos]

They're probably going to just politely ask if you have an appointment, and since you won't, they'll turn you away. So what you need is a really elaborate lie.

 

[Gambone]

quick...! make a headcrab costume!
you got a camera at all? they probably wouldnt like it if you took pictres behind the scenes (if you even get that far), but you can at least take pics of the entrance,reception desk, and the security guards as they throw you out

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by Maskirovka
well i wouldn't go in there in sweatpants without taking a shower...but i wouldn't wear a suit or anything.

put on some nice pants and a button up shirt...then have sex with the receptionist (assuming it's a she...and assuming you're not gay)

after the sex, you'll get your info.

EDIT: and bring a fkn camera this time...especially for the sex part (again...assuming it's a woman...no gay sex plz)

Heh heh...I like your advice best of all

 

[Joneleth]

Wear a pocket protector, and I'm sure you'll fit right in. Maybe the receptionist will think you work for Valve.

:cheese:

 

[droper]

go in full ninja gear.

 

[Maskirovka]

Originally posted by Apos
They're probably going to just politely ask if you have an appointment, and since you won't, they'll turn you away. So what you need is a really elaborate lie.

tell em your little brother's dying of leukemia and he wants to play hl2 before he dies...bring a kid with you (do this anyway just so they won't yell or call security in front of the kid) and tell them it's your dying bro. make sure the kid has an IV bag...y'know on one of those cart things.

also, bring a portable defibrillator for extra zing!

 

[Goombatommy]

Or, you could dress up as a hooker, and if the secretary asks "Can I help you.." Just simply say "Yea, the boyz at Valve sent me as a treat for Gabe" or sumtin along those lines lol

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by Apos
They're probably going to just politely ask if you have an appointment, and since you won't, they'll turn you away. So what you need is a really elaborate lie.

"Uh, yeah, I'm the nephew of NVIDIA's president...he sent me down here to kick a one Mr. Newell's ass. Is he in? You know what? Nevermind. I'll just beat all the nerds till I find him."

 

[alphablu]

Wear a suit, tell them you are from the IRS and ask to speak to the owner of the company

 

[droper]

pretend you are a plumber sent to fix a leaking valve.

 

[Feath]

Just say "Gabe's expecting me". And when you see him and he goes, "Who are you? I wasn't expecting you." You should say, "You mean you didn't expect a random fan to turn up at your office just to look at you?"

Get an autograph, and a picture.

 

[Goombatommy]

Originally posted by droper
pretend you are a plumber send to fix a leaking valve.

hence the irony

 

[dfc05]

Originally posted by Gambone
quick...! make a headcrab costume!
you got a camera at all? they probably wouldnt like it if you took pictres behind the scenes (if you even get that far), but you can at least take pics of the entrance,reception desk, and the security guards as they throw you out

yeah dress up as a headcrab....all fun until they hang you up and use you as their new headcrab pinata

 

[Seikeden]

put on a white scientists coat and headcrab mask

orr...

put on a janitors uniform and try to "clean" the cubicle areas

orr...

get to the roof, rappel down the side of the building and take photos in your ninja/workman costume.

I would do the last one

 

[Maskirovka]

Originally posted by spitcodfry
"Uh, yeah, I'm the nephew of NVIDIA's president...he sent me down here to kick a one Mr. Newell's ass. Is he in? You know what? Nevermind. I'll just beat all the nerds till I find him."

yea you could just go with the baseball-bat approach

 

[TechnoHippyChic]

I would just be totally upfront. Say something like "I'm a HUGE fan as was just wondering if anybody would have a couple of minutes to chat about the game?". Something like that..

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by alphablu
Wear a suit, tell them you are from the IRS and ask to speak to the owner of the company

Gabe'll come out with a crowbar and start beating me senseless

 

[KnightOwl]

yeah.. ninja gear!

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by TechnoHippyChic
I would just be totally upfront. Say something like "I'm a HUGE fan as was just wondering if anybody would have a couple of minutes to chat about the game?". Something like that..

Yeah that would probably work the best, you know, as far as actually accomplishing with getting some info

 

[alphablu]

hehe whatever you do dont start your speech with "Im a HUGE fan" because hes going to be thinking immediately "psycho psycho psycho"

 

[Joneleth]

I would just be totally upfront. Say something like "I'm a HUGE fan as was just wondering if anybody would have a couple of minutes to chat about the game?". Something like that..

Yeah, and if that doesn't work, then you have a disguise waiting in the bushes for your second attempt. I'd suggest perhaps dressing up as Ronald McDonald, and say you have Happy Meals for all the Valve employees.

Then, call in Grimace and the Hamburgular to start a total beatdown of everyone at Valve and steal Half-Life 2. Then ransom it for a cool 6 million, making you famous AND rich.

Hows that sound?

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by alphablu
hehe whatever you do dont start your speech with "Im a HUGE fan" because hes going to be thinking immediately "psycho psycho psycho"

Gabe: "Call the ward, we've got another one"

 

[CyberSh33p]

best yet, just run in there with a gluon gun and they'll probably let you in

 

[spitcodfry]

Originally posted by Joneleth
Yeah, and if that doesn't work, then you have a disguise waiting in the bushes for your second attempt. I'd suggest perhaps dressing up as Ronald McDonald, and say you have Happy Meals for all the Valve employees.

Then, call in Grimace and the Hamburgular to start a total beatdown of everyone at Valve and steal Half-Life 2. Then ransom it for a cool 6 million, making you famous AND rich.

Hows that sound?

lmfao...I just visualized the hamburglar beating hapless Valve employees to a pulp, while I'm in another room casually surfing through hard drive files

 

[KiNG]

LOL i love these ideas, im sure no one from valve reads these forums :dozey:

lol tomorrow they'll be on the look out for a "suspious" person

 

[nsxownzme]

Originally posted by spitcodfry
Yeah I'm the dude who went to the building where Valve's offices are located earlier today and thought I spotted a possible 'gold' date reception for Valve. Turned out to be Microsoft that booked the area.

In a past Gamespy preview they did on Half-Life 2 (one of the first), they had a chance to visit their new offices in Bellevue, WA. They state that Valve is located on the second floor of the building which I went to today. They said that once you get off the elevator you can't miss the Valve logo with a sign pointing down a hallway towards the company's receptionist desk.

So I'm going to attempt to get in there tomorrow sometime and get some answers. Here's where I need the community's help. Should I get dressed up all fancy like? I'm clueless. Someone give me some tips...lord knows my ever-diminishing self esteem needs them.

Dress casual, just look clean with slacks.. and a polo. That's just my 2cents.

 

[Maskirovka]

Originally posted by Joneleth
Yeah, and if that doesn't work, then you have a disguise waiting in the bushes for your second attempt. I'd suggest perhaps dressing up as Ronald McDonald, and say you have Happy Meals for all the Valve employees.

Then, call in Grimace and the Hamburgular to start a total beatdown of everyone at Valve and steal Half-Life 2. Then ransom it for a cool 6 million, making you famous AND rich.

Hows that sound?

if you show up as Ronald, you defenitely need to be drunk...and spill at least a pint's worth of jack daniels on yourself so you smell extra good

(rofl...my roommate was actually going to do this on halloween...go to a mcdonalds parking lot as ronald drunk and mess with kids/moms...he talked about it for so long then chickened out)

 

[spitcodfry]

Re: Re: Gonna go to Valve tomorrow (for real)

Originally posted by nsxownzme
Dress casual, just look clean with slacks.. and a polo. That's just my 2cents.

Thanks, man. I'm definetely gonna do this. But at the same time I'm pretty damn nervous! I hope to god the receptionist doesn't dimiss me like I'm just a pest.

 

[Goombatommy]

Ya know man, if you actually pull this off, and it works, and if you get some good info *pictures or not*, you'll definitely earn ranks in the community.

 

[GJaaGular]

I say just walk in past the receptionest...and as she's calling after you "SIr...Sir...MayI help you sir??? just look for the next human being you see and start asking can you give me a release date? No (by now you may have to hurry) go to the next cube or better yet office... Worst case you get a misdeamener ticket an escorted from the building...If you really do try to get in REMEMBER act cool your representing the Halflife 2 community.