Gordon Freeman: High School Years

[Tyguy]

Episode 1: High School Years

Gordon Freeman was known throughout his entire high school as the biggest geek there. He would spend the majority of his free time working out complex math equations and engaging in weather experiments in his back yard. Gordon was in all honors classes and was Captain of the chess, debate and science teams. To make quite a long story short, Gordon Freeman was a very smart dude.

A few days before graduation, a few of Gordon's fellow students decided to host a party of the century. Gordon decided he would like to see a party before he went to college so he attended said event. A few hours into the party, while Gordon was playing minesweeper on his laptop, a girl approached him and asked if he could hand her an ashtray that was near him. He eagerly reached over and handed her the tray of ash and went back to his game. A few moments later the same girl came back and asked to speak to Gordon. Gordon being very anti-social and afraid of girls, reluctantly accepted the invitation. The two started talking about school when the girl motioned to a spot behind Gordon, to which he turned to look. Then, while his back was turned, she put a small pill in his Dr. Pepper. An hour later, Gordon was on the floor almost completely asleep. The girl took Gordon back to her place and raped him for 4 hours.

The next morning Gordon found out what happened and he took a crowbar and killed the girl.


Moral of the story....stay out of Fan Fiction threads :bounce:

 

[McGooTheWise]

Gordon Freeman was known throughout his entire high school as the biggest geek there. He would spend the majority of his free time working out complex math equations and engaging in weather experiments in his back yard. Gordon was in all honors classes and was Captain of the chess, debate and science teams. To make quite a long story short, Gordon Freeman was a very smart dude.

A few days before graduation, a few of Gordon's fellow students decided to host a party of the century. Gordon decided he would like to see a party before he went to college so he attended said event. A few hours into the party, while Gordon was playing minesweeper on his laptop, a girl approached him and asked if he could hand her an ashtray that was near him. He eagerly reached over and handed her the tray of ash and went back to his game. A few moments later the same girl came back and asked to speak to Gordon. Gordon being very anti-social and afraid of girls, reluctantly accepted the invitation. The two started talking about school when the girl motioned to a spot behind Gordon, to which he turned to look. Then, while his back was turned, she put a small pill in his Dr. Pepper. An hour later, Gordon was on the floor almost completely asleep. The girl took Gordon back to her place and raped him for 4 hours.

The next morning Gordon found out what happened and he took a crowbar and killed the girl.


Moral of the story....stay out of Fan Fiction threads :bounce:

The lucky bastard... was she at least hot?

MUST KNOW! MUST! KNOW!

Maybe I should take a shot at one of these. In my clan I'm known for a little story I've been working on called weather paranoia... you can guess what it's about...

 

[Tyguy]

whats this....a fan wanting MORE!?!?


Episode 2: The Grudge

10 years have passed since gordon took his sweet sweet revenge on the somewhat trampy and ugly girl who raped him. He is now working at black mesa where he met his new friend, Barney. the two of them hang out almost every weekend and get hammered out of their minds. Last weekend, gordon got so drunk he toook the gravity gun and put peoples cars on the roof of their house. Another time he teleported a bag of poop to barneys house. This angered barney and he swore revenge at that very moment. Barney devised a diabolical plan to kill gordon but it involved alot of work. Barney traveled to Xen and talked to the leader and was like "hey man, can you do me a favor, i gots this friend thats opissin me off, can you like send a bunch of crabs and aliums that shoot lightening out of their hands to invade where i work?

the leader replied: Not only will I send a bunch of random cra to your work, but ill allow an entire new species of evik people to follow them and take control of your planet. They will enslave the human race and kill million and millions of people!!!!

Barney did not think the plan was very good so he said "thats ok, i think ill jsut send the bag of poop back to him"

but little did barney know they SAVED TEH COORDINATES of earth and sent the aliums to kill all the humans!!!!!!!!

to be continued

 

[Ennui]

do teh aliums have aluminiums

 

[Tyguy]

im glad you asked...and the truth is:


Episode 3: Alium Aluminum


It has been a few years since the invasion of teh aliums...million of peoples have died and the combine soldiers have taken over. However, gordon freeman and barney are now friends again and are saving teh earth with teh crowbars. The two of them went to xen to mine their aluminums, which can be used to make super weapoins to fight the combines....

After gordon and abreny got teh aluminums, they made a super rocket flame shooter....which has the power to whipe out an entire citadel with one shot. The two went back to teh earths and gordon ran inside the citadel. Barney cried out "Gordon, good luck and shoots the aliums and combines!!!"

Gordon went to the core and when no one was looking, he shots his aluminums and put the reaktor in crital mass....

Then, him and his friend alyx ran to teh trains and escped teh explosion...

 

[MorganFreeman911]

MORE!
OH GOD MORE!
Yes!

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 4: Gordon gets lucky

After gordon and alex escape teh on teh trains, it crahses and alyx almost falls off to her death. Gordon did a back flip off the back of the train landing on top of a head crab. He saves alyx and she aks him what she can do to amke it up to him. Gordon thinks about this for a few mionutes then says" I want you to sex my bums". Alyx takes off her clothes and starts doing teh sex with gorodn. What they dont know is that a mini strider is watching and relaying teh video to the combines. Back on the combine homeworld all the combines are watching the two make sex on the ground. THey order the strider to attack but when it does gordon takes his crowbar out of alyx's bum and destroys the strider.

A few minutes later gordon and alyx get dressed and start to walk when all of a sudden an antlion jumps out of the ground and yel;ls "GORDON FREEMANS, you had sexorz on my dirt and now you must die!!!" the ant lion junges at gordon but alyx dives in front of him, getting stabbed by the ant lion. Gordon then shoots the ant lion with hiis pistol and says to alyx, "you saved my lives alyx, how can I repay you?" She tells him to take her to teh hostpitals cause she lost alot of blood. BUT A HEADCRAB JUMPS ON GORDONS BACK AND TRIES TO EATS HIM!....

 

[Jintor]

I came into this thread expecting to go "NO U SUX" but Tyguy, you've earned my respect. Fourty-two thumbs up.

 

[Tyguy]

All in a days work

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 5: Payback

Gordon freemans was MAD. He has been the target of aliums, soldiers and combine people. Now it was his turn to target them and kill them. GOrdon and alyx stunbled upon a broken down house with a few combines in it. Gorodn dove threw the window and threw his corwbars at 1 combine while jump kicking another through a table of jello pudding. Gordon then took an electricity ball and threw it at a combine truck, bliwing it up. Gorodn was out for bloods and could not be stopped. A fw mintues after his murderous rampage agasint teh combines, a strider came and started shootings at alyx and gordon. Gordon took a rocket launcher and fired one shot, completely missing the strider and blowing up a rebel safe house, the very safe house they were trying to gets to. This angered gordon even more so he climbed up the strider and threw a grenade inside, blowing up teh strider and saving the day yet again.

Sudenly, hundered of ant lion clibmed out of the ground and started jumping around everywhere!!!! gordon knew he was outnumbered the the only way to get out of this situation was to get teh pheremoans!!! He had 1 left in his pocket so he threw it......and hit alyx in teh crotch. Hundereds of antlions swarmed her and started stabbing her for over an hour. When they were done, alyx was almost dead and gordon was upset. The only way to save her life was to turn heer into a zombie until he found a cure for zombiness. He quiclhy found a headcrab and said to alyx "i need to turns you into teh headcrab zombie, im sorry ROFL!"

He thrust the headcrab into the air heading for her head. Unfortunately he had dirt in his eye so what he thoughts was a headcrab was actually a rock which lookede like teh headcrabs. The rock knocked alyx out and gordons just stood there and felt stupid. He draged her to a headcrab and said "you can eats her and make her into zombies, but dont hurt her!"

Gordon then left in search of the antidotes!!!!

 

[Tyguy]

im not making another episode until i get some feedback, gentlemen....

 

[Sheepo]

This thread is the epitomy of all that is good in this world.

 

[8DigitSin]

More!!!
More!!!

 

[MorganFreeman911]

Greatest fanfic ever.

 

[15357]

Gods above.


May they have mercy.







<3

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 6: teh Antidote

Gordon left alyx with teh headcrab eatins her face so he could find a cure for being a zombie. After what seemed like froever gordon saw dr breens in a combine hideout with a bunches of combines guarding him. GOrond knew if he got breen alone he could get the antidote out of him. Gordon took his combine rifole and shoots teh combine ball through the windows killing all teh combines except for dr breen. Then gordon did 17 back hand springs into the house and said "I am teh gordon freemans, and i demand an antidote for zombieeees!!!" The man quickly tore off his masks and said "YOU FOOL, I AM NOT TEH BREENS, I AM TEH G- MAN!!!!" Gordon then had a flashback of shootings breen at teh reaktor and realised he was stupid. "GMAN, whaat are you doing here?"

"I have been following you from alot of time now, gordon....very impresive....I will give you teh antidote if you answer this riddle!!!"

Gordon agreed and gman said teh riddle

"What do combines and humans have in common?"

GOrdon was stuck, he didnt nots know teh answer to riddle....he stood there dumb founded....until he realized that teh gman was holding the antidote, so he threw a grenade and killeed gman and stoles the antidote!!!!

When he got back to the alyxombie, he found they she was laying on teh ground not moving. He went over to her and gave her teh antidote....she stood up and said "GORDONS!!! im back!!!" Gordon was relieved but when he looked up he saw a COMBINE ADVISOR!!!!!!!!!

 

[MorganFreeman911]

Lol, complete win. I can't wait untill I see your COMBINE ADVISOR!!!!!!!!!! Episode.

 

[Stigmata]

Amazing.

 

[leib10]

Good stuff. Keep up the good work. :frog:

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 7: Combines Adviser!!!!!!!

Gordon has just made better alyx and no they face off against teh combine advisor. He was very tall and slimy, as well as missing a face, but he was holdings a shotgun!!! he fired at alyx and hit her in the chests. GOrdon saw this and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11" He took a grenades and ran to teh combine and taped it to his back. Teh advisor then took ut iff his backj and thew it back at gordon, succesfuly blwoing of his left hands. Gordon now laid helpless as the advisor got closer and closer. When he finally gots near gordon barney stabbes him in teh back with a crowbar and killsed him. BArney took gordons and alyx to a med station to fix his hand. GOrdon now has a mecanical arm and with his suit he is unstoppable. Alyx woked up and said to gordon, "GOrdons!!!! what happeend!:?? Gordon said he saved her life and killed teh advisor. Bareny hears this and saids to gordon "LIAR< IT WAS ME!" Then gordon said "your rught, barny lol11"

Gordon and alyx then left but confronted a MINI STRIDER!!!! with machine gunz on its head. Gordon had no bullets and the strider backed them into a corner!!!!!!!

 

[Sheepo]

This is the only thing that makes me get out of bed in the morning.

 

[Tyguy]

i was high when I wrote that last one

 

[leib10]

I was wondering if you were when you wrote these. In any case, good job, keep on writing, smoke some more creativity! :farmer:

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 8 coming later....need to find some weed first

 

[guitars savior]

ill sell you some


8th for 30

 

[Vegeta897]

"He quiclhy found a headcrab and said to alyx "i need to turns you into teh headcrab zombie, im sorry ROFL!""

This is the funniest so far.

 

[Steven]

What a quality thread, we need more like this.

 

[Jintor]

It's a bit like FULL CONSEQUENCES but not.

 

[Tyguy]

ill sell you some


8th for 30

thats a god damn DEAL.

 

[Tyguy]

I think one of you guys should do the voice over for it....

 

[Vegeta897]

I was thinking about animating this (if someone did a voice over) but there are too many spelling errors to be made fun of that I couldn't get anything actually shown.

Also I refuse to animate anything dirty.

 

[Tyguy]

what if i edited some of the errors out and sent u the final drafts in an email?

 

[Vegeta897]

Email? What is this, the nineties?

 

[Tyguy]

Episode 8: teH Mini Strider

Gordon knew he was not match with teh strider with only a crowbar and his mechanical arm. Nearby, he saws a buggy so he got in it a tries to run over teh strider. The strider was too smart for that and did a back flip over gordon, landing on alyx's leg....Gordon then drive as fast as he could an d missed teh strider again, and ran over alyx.....

Ayx was now a mess and teh strider was stil comings after him. Goron took his crowbarz and with all his might, threw it at the strider and hitting it in the head., killing it. Gordons then looked at alyx and said "sorry i ran you over, lol...." Alyx was not amused but she was relieved teh strider was gone. Gordon then took alyx to a med station and she gots a mechanical leg!!! Now both gordon and alyx had mechanical parts.

SUDDENLY, a hoard of combines soldiers rushed the med station and killed everyones but gordon and metal leg alyx. Theys urround them and told them to come with thems. They put a black bag over both their heads and broughts tehm to teh combine secret hideout. They got they are when they pulled the bag off of gordons head, he saw the combines had a Combine Artificial Tank........CAT!!!!!!

 

[MorganFreeman911]

Rofl, that is so great, Tyguy.

 

[leib10]

Ooh, the CAT! This should be interesting...

I was thinking about animating this (if someone did a voice over) but there are too many spelling errors to be made fun of that I couldn't get anything actually shown.

Also I refuse to animate anything dirty.

You could use subtitles with the spelling errors included. I think this would be hilarious if done right.

 

[Sloth]

Hey Tyguy would you mind if these were included in a FanFiction section of a new thing that's being worked on by Staff at the moment?

 

[Acepilotf14]

Oh dear god... I think I had a heart attack laughing so hard..
I think I could do a voice over.. IF I could fix my mic!
I can do a pretty good fake-narrator voice.

 

[Tyguy]

Hey Tyguy would you mind if these were included in a FanFiction section of a new thing that's being worked on by Staff at the moment?

sure thing

 

[Sloth]

Cheers,