Gordon Freeman's amazing one-liners

[Jintor]

Gordon Freeman's Most Memorable Quotes

With the incredible Half-Life 2: Episode One still fresh on my mind, I reflected upon the greatest moments in the series, and Gordon Freeman's reactions to them. In this exclusive retrospective are Gordon's most memorable lines of dialogue.

"This tram ride is sweet. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to have to walk all the way out of here."

"Why don't we have a robot or something to push this sample into the core? This looks sort of dangerous."

"Headcrab? Gordon no likey!"

"Yes Barney, we should have a beer when this is all over. Maybe even two! Ha ha."

"I went to MIT and got a degree in KICKING YOUR ASS! Boomshakalaka!"

"Has anyone else noticed a creepy guy in a suit lurking around this Lambda complex?"

"Zombies? Is this a Michael Jackson music video, or a computer game? Wink wink!"

"Xen is pretty creepy, but I'm enjoying all this jumping so much that it doesn't really bother me."

"Take that, you big baby!"

"Thanks for the gravity gun, but I dunno. I've never come across a situation where I needed one to get through an area before."

"Wait, Dog, why don't you come with me instead of going home? Your ability to lift objects that weigh several tons and kill like fifty combine soldiers without taking any damage might help in some way."

"Boom! That's the eighty fifth enemy I've shot!"

"This hovercraft is awesome. I hope I never have to stop driving it."

"Boom! That's the eighty sixth enemy I've shot!"

"Those strider things are pretty tall, huh?"

"Boom! That's the eighty seventh enemy I've shot!"

"Yaaay!"

"Alyx, if we don't get out of these harnesses before Dr. Kleiner kills us both, I want you to know something. I love you. I've always loved you. Oh look at me, now I'm crying again."

"Hey, I'm buried in the rubble over here! Come get me out!"

"Ha ha ha, zombines."

"Eeeee it's dark! Where's that elevator? Eeeee!"

It's hard to believe Valve actually considered not giving Gordon any speaking lines, isn't it?

SOURCE

Man, a glimpse of some sort of alternate universe...

 

[bliink]

Someone should do a comedy mod that lets gordon talk a la Duke Nukem 3D.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all outta gum!"

 

[bbson john]

It's hard to believe Valve actually considered not giving Gordon any speaking lines, isn't it?

The retardedness overwhelms funniness.

 

[Oppressor]

Yeah

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Someone should do a comedy mod that lets gordon talk a la Duke Nukem 3D.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all outta gum!"

Same with HL2

"Shake it Baby"
*slapped by Alyx*

 

[Sam]

"Headcrab #387, you've had enough, I think you should be BARRED"

As he hits it with the crowbar.

I suck.

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Some Arnie quotes sneak there way in:

Directed at a Snark
"You are mine now, you belong to me!"

 

[TaoFan]

Duke Nukem SUCKS! If they don't finish Duke Nukem Forever by the end of this decade, I'm going to give up on it. As it is, I'M waiting "forever" for it!

 

[Cole]

"Take a load from my shotgun!"
"I will pee on you"
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BEER!"
"Wanna have sex Alyx?"
"I'm so hot!"
"Does this HEV suit make me look fat"
"Helmet, or not helmet?"
"Breen. Your gay."


I think HL2's storyline could be recreated by replacing Gordon with some dude who just wants his beer. Like Gordon Freeman + Gordon Frohman + Alcoholic.

 

[ELITE COMBINE]

well im not good at this kind of stuff but here is one. U combine look so ugly leme give u a lead face makeover. i said that when i was playing and made the metro cops face all bloody.

 

[function9]

Whoever that guy is, I think he should be shot, then hung.

 

[Jintor]

...it's from SomethingAwful, see.

 

[function9]

Someone still had to write it. I think before he's shot his hands should be cut off.

 

[ELITE COMBINE]

Who should be shot and hung? and have the hands cut off.

 

[Narvi]

What's wrong with it?

 

[Gordon-Shepherd]

it's just a joke. I love hl and all, but have a sense of humor about it. it's not like he's making fun of your sister or something.

 

[Reginald]

I think it'd be pretty cool to mod the game to include alternative dialogue for various characters, including Gordon, using film quotes.

 

[function9]

I'm all for jokes and humor. The thing is the closest those lines come to be funny is retarded. It wouldn't matter what the lines were in relation to (HL or not) they wouldn't be funny at all. Whoever wrote those thinking they would be funny like I said should have their hands cut off, shot and then hung so this doesn't happen again. So it's not that I "can't take a joke about HL" (and really that's just sad if someone can't take a joke about a computer game), it's that I can't stand people that try to be funny and are no where close. It doesn't matter what the topic is. He could've been writing those for a TV show or movie or whatever, still wouldn't have been funny. But that's just my take on it.

 

[Adrik_Senturu]

I'm all for jokes and humor. The thing is the closest those lines come to be funny is retarded. It wouldn't matter what the lines were in relation to (HL or not) they wouldn't be funny at all. Whoever wrote those thinking they would be funny like I said should have their hands cut off, shot and then hung so this doesn't happen again. So it's not that I "can't take a joke about HL" (and really that's just sad if someone can't take a joke about a computer game), it's that I can't stand people that try to be funny and are no where close. It doesn't matter what the topic is. He could've been writing those for a TV show or movie or whatever, still wouldn't have been funny. But that's just my take on it.

Hey guy I thought it was funny. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

And yeah something awful rocks, but there are better video game articles..like the Halo 3 spoilers

 

[Jintor]

I'm all for jokes and humor. The thing is the closest those lines come to be funny is retarded. It wouldn't matter what the lines were in relation to (HL or not) they wouldn't be funny at all. Whoever wrote those thinking they would be funny like I said should have their hands cut off, shot and then hung so this doesn't happen again. So it's not that I "can't take a joke about HL" (and really that's just sad if someone can't take a joke about a computer game), it's that I can't stand people that try to be funny and are no where close. It doesn't matter what the topic is. He could've been writing those for a TV show or movie or whatever, still wouldn't have been funny. But that's just my take on it.

*Resorts to "Well YOU do better!"

Actually, that wouldn't be bad. Anyone want to write Gordon dialogue?

 

[Gordon-Shepherd]

"godammit! my helmet was on mute that whole time! no wonder breen wouldnt listen when I told him how uncomfortable that harness was"

 

[Shifty]

In the beginning of episode 1:
"Gordon!"
*Alyx hugs Gordon*
"He-He It's about time Ya think :naughty: "

 

[_-_-SELAS-_-_]

The only one I find funny is this:
"This tram ride is sweet. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to have to walk all the way out of here."
quite funny though.

 

[Tyguy]

They should make him sneeze every few hours...just to keep the player on their feet.

Then again, super hero scientists dont get colds....

 

[bliink]

I'm all for jokes and humor. The thing is the closest those lines come to be funny is retarded. It wouldn't matter what the lines were in relation to (HL or not) they wouldn't be funny at all. Whoever wrote those thinking they would be funny like I said should have their hands cut off, shot and then hung so this doesn't happen again. So it's not that I "can't take a joke about HL" (and really that's just sad if someone can't take a joke about a computer game), it's that I can't stand people that try to be funny and are no where close. It doesn't matter what the topic is. He could've been writing those for a TV show or movie or whatever, still wouldn't have been funny. But that's just my take on it.

I just got a call! It was from the central committee, and they say to let you know they're running out of hollowed-out husks of human beings, and could use the extra numbers!

Hoho.. no, you're alright..:cheers:

 

[panda_rage]

Duke Nukem SUCKS! If they don't finish Duke Nukem Forever by the end of this decade, I'm going to give up on it. As it is, I'M waiting "forever" for it!

AHAHAHA OMFG THIS GUY IS FUNNY!!! *slaps TaoFan on the back*



... Congratulations aside, I don't think hl2 needs any dialogue. half the fun of the game is talking to the 3d Characters yourself. Now thats entertainment for both you AND the people watching or in the same room as you!

 

[function9]

I just got a call! It was from the central committee, and they say to let you know they're running out of hollowed-out husks of human beings, and could use the extra numbers!

Hoho.. no, you're alright..:cheers:

So wait. Are you calling me a cold lifeless bastard with no heart, or a ho? I'm so confused.

I guess I was a bit harsh though. Mainly it was just to stir the pot. As I really don't think someone should be shot for things they write.

 

[Jintor]

So wait. Are you calling me a cold lifeless bastard with no heart, or a ho? I'm so confused.

I guess I was a bit harsh though. Mainly it was just to stir the pot. As I really don't think someone should be shot for things they write.

Oh, I dunno... some of the english dubbers for various anime, for instance...

 

[Shifty]

So wait. Are you calling me a cold lifeless bastard with no heart, or a ho? I'm so confused.

No we are calling you both