Half-Life 3 timeline (attempt at humor)

TechnoHippyChic

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April 2008 - Magazine scans are leaked. Lots of malfunctions as copyright-aware hardware self-destructs at the dillema.

May 12th 2008 - A 25 second video is shown at E3. Strangely, it's just a photorealistic closeup of the Administrator repeating "the Horror, the Horror". A 630 MB version is available on fileplanet later that day.

May 13th 2008 - Gabe emphatically states the release date will be September 29th. This is the result of an initiative at Valve to shave design time down to 4 years, 10 months.

May 14th 2008 - Fragmaster emphatically states "It'll be early. I have sources..."

June 2008 - Rumours emerge that HL3 will actually make you breakfast. Gabe responds that HL3 will NOT make you breakfast, but that "it's a design decision, not a technical limitation".

July 18th 2008 - Rabid-FanBoyism officially becomes part of the DSM V

August 21st 2008 - Gabe states HL3 will be available with 75 different payment options/SKU's. Luckily, "I can send u an envelope with some money" remains. New for HL3 is the "Will it work with my computer?" edition. It's pricey at $550, but comes with a free Radeon 18000.

September 29th 2008 - HL3 released. Shocked players find out MP is totally Tetris-based. Fragmaster has anuerism while handing out copies dressed as Alyx...

:cat:
 
hehe great stuff :D

one thing ive been thinking about.. isnt it strange that if you put o's in valve then it spells "volvo"
hmmm conspiracy perhaps? hl3 vill be shipped with the latest volvo truck in 2008??
 
Originally posted by TechnoHippyChic


June 2008 - Rumours emerge that HL3 will actually make you breakfast. Gabe responds that HL3 will NOT make you breakfast, but that "it's a design decision, not a technical limitation".



thats great :p
 
lmao, best post in .. months ;D:cheers: :cheers:
 
I love pro games to be released during the summer holiday (No dumpass schools)

Anyway That was :cheese:
 
Thanks, guys! Glad you enjoyed it.

Only 5 years, 19 days to go! I need to make a countdown timer...
 
Fantastic, made me laugh like a crazy person! :bounce: :cheers:
 
Originally posted by TechnoHippyChic

June 2008 - Rumours emerge that HL3 will actually make you breakfast. Gabe responds that HL3 will NOT make you breakfast, but that "it's a design decision, not a technical limitation".

July 18th 2008 - Rabid-FanBoyism officially becomes part of the DSM V

These two were hilarious :LOL:
 
haha, that really made my day :D

is anyone else feeling that slight tingling sensation down your spine when you realise that September 30th is approaching kinda fast? I sure am...
 
Originally posted by Nathaniel
haha, that really made my day :D

is anyone else feeling that slight tingling sensation down your spine when you realise that September 30th is approaching kinda fast? I sure am...

FAST... hell no, its slow as hell for me :) because im too excited... ack someone please.. help!
 
Originally posted by TechnoHippyChic


June 2008 - Rumours emerge that HL3 will actually make you breakfast. Gabe responds that HL3 will NOT make you breakfast, but that "it's a design decision, not a technical limitation".

lol
 
LOL
I'm glad somebody is keeping "I can send u an envelope with some money" alive. The only thing you forgot to mention was the biozeminades, and how they can make themselves look good. :p

DSM V, hahahaha
 
LOL that was hilarious:cheese:



*cough* what's "DSM"?
 
I emailed fagmaster and he says he's gonna still dress up like gordon and pass out copies of halflife2 if it comes out on the 30th. He must have a lot of money. funny stuff.
 
Originally posted by Kongo

*cough* what's "DSM"?

Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders :D Currently it's on version IV I believe.
 
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