Half life a different perspective

akrippler

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First off this is the first time I've done something like this. You don't have to read it if you dont want to, but if you enjoyed it please let me know. I know its kind of long I didnt plan on it being like this I just couldnt help adding more and more.


I couldn't see anything thing, only hear and feel. A sound in the distance, almost like something mechanical, turning slowly becoming stronger, and stronger; faster, and faster. What?s wrong with me? What is going on, why can't I move? I could feel the sweat pouring off me, my heartbeat began to quicken, almost in tune with the churning sound I could still hear, getting more and more obnoxious. Then, I opened my eyes and immediately shot up, to an upright position in my bed. I was a wreck, I felt exhausted, I was sweating, yet cold, and not to mention extremely fatigued. As soon as I regained my composure, I noticed the churning noise had never escaped me, and now that I was awake I could comprehend that the noise was a helicopter. But why was it so loud? I peered out the window directly perpendicular from my bed, moving the curtain aside I spotted the tail end of what looked like a military chopper speeding off over the tree line. Odd, I thought I had seen plenty of choppers of this nature before seeing as I was living near an army base, but one this low, this early?

Watching the helicopter lead off into the distance led my eyes to the barely rising sun, it was still more dark than light outside. The sky gave me a sort of "twilight" time of day feel. I slumped back into bed; I was too tired to begin my day so early. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard another noise, a sort of thump like the shuffle of feet. I thought nothing of it seeing as my brother is always up early, but the sound didn?t stop there. The noise became almost predictable, almost consistent. I yelled out "Shut up man I'm still trying to sleep." The noise stopped, and I tightened my self up in my blanket. Soon afterwards the thump was replaced with a more personal, almost bang on my door, along with some subtle clinging of the doorknob. The bang was so loud it startled me back into a fully upright position. Angry with my brother I quickly headed for my door cursing, and griping along the way. I swung open the door only to catch a glimpse of a decomposed looking outstretched arm drawing close to my face.

The only thing I could think to do was immediately slam the door. Using all of my body weight I quickly slammed the door shut. I breathed a quick sigh of relief only to find this horrific appendage jammed in the door. I heard a mix between a whelp and maybe a snarl come from whatever the hell was on the other side of the door. Leaning against the door I had some time to examine the arm. It seemed to be completely torn of its flesh, all that was showing was it?s muscles and veins, along with glimpses of bone here and there.

As soon as this thing shrugged off what little damage I did to its arm, it began slamming on the door, trying to gain entrance. Every time the creature hit the door, I almost fell to my feet. For how decrepit and frail its arm looked, this thing was amazingly strong, it made me think of the raw strength a bear or an ox possesses . The senseless beating on my door continued and quickly began destroying my bedroom door completely. I needed a way out, I looked to my window, ?Right??? I thought to myself, ?I?d rather fight my way out than break my legs.? Fight, it was the only thing I could think to do. But, with what, how?? Whatever the hell this thing was it was apparent that if it got a clear shot on me, it would send me flying. At the end of my bed lied my sports bag full of my baseball equipment, I dropped it on the floor in my room instead of putting it away last night in my haste to get to bed. I held on to the door for one last slam and then dove for my bag.

The next hit the creature put on the door sent it flying off the hinges? since I wasn?t there to hold it back. Pieces of wood blew apart, almost into a fine mist at some points. This was no monster, it was my brother, I could tell it was him because of the distinctive t-shirt I have seen him wear many an occasion. He was bloodied from the neck down, the shirt he had on almost torn to pieces but still recognizable. His head was covered, with what I could not tell at first, but it became apparent that whatever was covering his head was alive. It looked like a giant crab almost, with small moving stubs sticking out of the front corners and bigger stationary leg like limbs from the back. I could hear my brother?s incomprehensible, muffled screams coming from underneath the organic mask.

He took his first step into my room, by this time I had already unzipped my bag and reached in. I grabbed the first solid thing I could find, and pulled it out. My wooden bat emerged from the bag, I would have preferred one of my aluminum bats but there was no time for nit-picking. He took another step towards me with arms extended; I jumped onto my bed to maybe get a clearer shot. I wanted to hit him, but I wasn?t sure if my brother was still alive under there. Before I could decide; he had reached the end of my bed. But getting on top of my bed to reach me proved no simple task for the beast. He stumbled about for a few seconds only to end up falling on the floor. I seized the opportunity and jumped over him, running for the living room.

The television was on, but there was only a single emergency warning system picture on the screen. The picture was accompanied by a woman?s voice droning on, explaining in a sort of monotonous, repeating tone, ?A Nation-wide evacuation has begun; please head directly to your district?s designated safe-zone.? I became entranced on the TV, only to hear the distinctive moan and notice my brother heading towards me from down the hall. I grabbed my keys and ran out the front door. I ran down all four flights of stairs but my path to the outside was blocked. Two more zombie-like creatures stood in the doorway, the noise I made jumping to the bottom of the staircase forced them to look my way. I realized that these zombies used to be Ms. Tonto and her daughter from across the hall. Ms. Tonto?s daughter was only 7 years old and the sight of her completely covered in blood and slightly decomposed almost tore me to pieces inside. I snapped out of my trance to realize the two of them were heading towards me with outstretched arms. I raised my wooden bat directly above my head and brought it down on what I figured was the middle of the crab like monsters body. I felt the bat sink through the head-crab?s soft body before actually striking her head. Just like my bedroom door before the bat exploded into hundreds of tiny pieces. She quickly slumped to the floor and laid motionless. Her daughter began to head towards me but all I was left with was half a wooden bat. Since she was only 3-4 feet tall I pulled my right foot up and kicked with all my strength in what used to be her face, sending her back a few feet and on the ground. It was obvious this kick did no damage besides knocking her on her butt, as she immediately went for her feet. I headed for the door in a rush, and got into my truck. From the cab of my truck, I took one last look at my apartment, only to see what used to be my brother banging on a window facing towards me. He gave it one good shot and broke the glass; he went straight through the window and plummeted to the ground. I looked away, but still heard the distinctive crunch as he hit the ground. ?At least he isn?t suffering any more,? I thought to myself, as I started up my truck.

Through all of this I never had a chance to see what it was like outside, earlier when I looked through the window my eyes stayed above the horizon. Now I see trash everywhere, an abandoned car in the middle of the street with all four doors wide open. Giant columns of smoke to the west cloud the sky. Not to mention 4 or 5 more of these zombie like creatures shambling about in the street. The sound of my engine starting alerted these monsters; all of them simultaneously turned towards me and began their walk towards my truck. I slammed on the gas, peeling out. A zombie must have been hidden behind the abandoned car in the street because despite my best attempts to avoid them I struck one of the monsters with my car. The zombie flew up onto my hood, then rolled up on top of the cab and flew off the back. I looked back to make sure it did not fall into the bed of my truck, and thankfully it didn?t but when I turned back around another zombie was directly in my path. This one went under my truck, as I rolled over him I was lifted out of my seat twice. I finally turned onto 13th street and headed east, towards the base, the same way I saw the chopper heading.
 
Better grammar than 99% of the posts, though still not perfect. The main problem is that you use "I" too much as a subject. You can't always fix it, but just taking a random line:
"I realized that these zombies used to be Ms. Tonto and her daughter from across the hall."
Could instead be:
"These looked like Ms. Tonto and her daughter from across the hall."

Alright, I guess that wasn't much better, but you get my point, I hope. Try some variety in the sentences, and there's a few commas you left out:
"A zombie must have been hidden behind the abandoned car in the street, because despite my best attempts to avoid them, I struck one of the monsters with my car."

I'm not too enthralled with the story, but that's a taste thing. It's great to see some thought and effort put into a story, and I'll probably keep reading.
 
It's a great change from all the 'humereous' crap that is being outputted in here. :(
 
I like it. I've been considering writing something about Ravenholm before and at the beginning of the shelling.
 
I wonder why always Scanners, A.K.A newbies (Not in the offensive way), always make such nice stories...
 
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